Transformations
by JenesisX
Summary: Vincent is under a lot of stress and having a difficult time containing Chaos. Will his renewed relationship with Lucrecia survive if she witnesses a transformation... or will the demon finally win? (Vincent/Lucrecia and Sephiroth/Aeris, with appearances from Chaos and many others; Occurs within the AU of Irony of Fate.)
1. Prologue

_**Transformations**_

**by JenesisX**

((**Author's Notes: **This story is part of my _Irony of Fate _AU series. It can be read alone if you accept the alternate facts as they are introduced, but if you are following my chapter fics in order it occurs after _Life After Death _and _On My Honor _(beginning 2 months later). I've done my best to explain what's been going on in my world and with the characters as much as possible to welcome new readers into my AU. Thank you for checking out my story, and I would very much appreciate any and all feedback! _~ JenesisX, 2013 _))

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**~ Prologue ~**

It was still dark when Lucrecia awoke, though with only one small window in the basement-level bedroom it was often difficult to tell. She shivered, realizing she had been drawn from a sound sleep because she was cold. She frowned as she sat up in bed, immediately realizing that Vincent was gone. His place beside her had long gone cool, and there was no sign of him in the room.

That was odd, she thought, reaching out to absently touch his pillow. Vincent _never_ left her side while she was asleep at night, even though he himself almost always remained awake. He slept only every few days, and usually during daylight hours. Yet he always came to bed with her when she retired for the night, content to hold her in his arms and watch as she rested. He was her protector, her security blanket in a new place… a new life. She had become accustomed to awakening with her limbs tangled up in his and her head resting upon him, drawing a security from the closeness she had never known in her previous existence.

She squinted in the darkness, barely able to see the time on the alarm clock. Three thirty-four a.m. Where could he have gone at such an hour? She was certain she would have heard his PHS ring if he'd been called out due to work. As it was, she was surprised she hadn't felt him get out of bed. She knew she'd been curled up tightly with him when she fell asleep hours before. Vincent had always been quiet, however, now more so than ever. It was one more change she was still struggling to adapt to.

Filled with worry and an unexplainable sense of dread, Lucrecia pulled back the quilt and slipped out of bed, her bare feet cold on the cement floor of the basement. For some reason, she was drawn to the nightstand, and not only to retrieve her glasses so she could see properly. Once she had set them upon her face, she found herself staring down at the drawer, one she never opened because she knew it was where Vincent kept his gun when he was in bed. Lucrecia had never liked guns, a fact he knew well, and out of respect for her he had stopped keeping it between the wall and mattress once she'd come to live with him. Any other time, however, the gun was always on his person, and he went nowhere without it. But Lucrecia had a feeling she knew what she was about to discover…

Sure enough, when she slowly opened the drawer, feeling somewhat guilty, she found his weapon exactly where he'd put it before joining her in bed. His PHS was beside it, left on but set to silent, and she quickly noted that there were no unread messages blinking for attention. After staring at the frightening instrument of death for long moments, she pushed the drawer closed with a heavy sigh. If Vincent was gone, why was his gun still there? As head of Junon Harbor security, it would be extremely out of place for him to leave his gun and PHS behind… not to mention out of character. Maybe he was still in the apartment.

Lucrecia stepped into her slippers and retrieved her robe from the back of the armchair tucked into the far corner of the room, wrapping it tightly around herself against the chill. The basement always remained on the cold side, but she had to admit her nerves were getting the best of her as well. She didn't know why, but she could feel that something was not as it should be. She'd awakened so suddenly for seemingly no reason, and finding Vincent gone had only amplified her feelings of dread. She quietly pushed open the bedroom door and stepped out into the main living area, quickly scanning the long, narrow room and finding it empty. The bathroom door was open, and as she passed she peered inside and found it unoccupied as well. He really _was _gone…

Her frown only deepened when she spotted his long red cloak still hanging by the door, his boots resting beneath. There was no way he had left on business barefoot and without his cloak, even if he'd left his gun behind for some reason. But if he wasn't in the house, where could he have gone at such an hour? If there was something seriously wrong, surely he would have awakened her…

Lucrecia stood and stared at ragged ends of his cloak for long moments, biting her lower lip with worry. There was so much about Vincent she was still learning, so many changes she was trying to adapt to and accept as part of the man she loved. For the most part, they were very happy together, though there were moments of awkwardness and tension she couldn't quite explain and didn't yet know how to handle. He was the same man she had loved thirty years before, yet he was so different… It was a topic they largely avoided discussing, and Lucrecia felt herself wishing she understood her lover better as she stood wondering what he could possibly be up to in the middle of the night.

Chilled and a bit frightened, she reluctantly turned and headed back into their bedroom, though she knew she would never be able to fall back to sleep while Vincent remained missing. She climbed into bed and crawled beneath the covers, hugging his pillow to her chest for comfort. Wherever he was, she could only hope that he would return to her soon.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

A dark figure stumbled along the rocky beach of Junon Harbor, dropping to his knees beneath the pale moonlight. He barely noticed the pain as the jagged rocks tore into his flesh, too overcome by the agony that ripped through his entire body. He fell forward onto his palms, breathing hard and hanging his head nearly to the ground. Wild black hair fell across his face as he grit his teeth, graceful fingers curling into the ground and slowly twisting into demonic claws.

Two months… He had held out for two entire months, longer then he'd ever been able to before. But now, after awakening from a particularly vivid nightmare in which Hojo had returned from the dead and lured Lucrecia away from him, Vincent was being rapidly overcome by the demon he called Chaos.

He had tried so hard to fight it, but by the time he'd woken from his torment the transformation was already in progress. He'd fought so desperately to keep Chaos contained since Lucrecia had returned to his life that it hit him with a force he could not combat. After everything that had happened lately, it was no wonder the stress had finally gotten the best of him. It seemed the demon had been kept caged for far too long and was angry, determined to break free again at last. And it was about to succeed…

Thankfully, Vincent was able to get out of bed without awakening his lover, determined to get as far away from her as he could before he completely lost control. She had yet to witness one of his battles with the demon that lived inside of him, and he was not about to let that to change. He was terrified of what she might think of him, as well as of what Chaos might do if it emerged in her presence. That could never be permitted… Vincent would sooner die.

He squeezed his glowing red eyes closed, feeling as if his insides were being shredded and his body slowly torn apart. It became harder and harder to breathe as he started to tremble, giving in to a moan of pure agony as a violent shudder passed through him. He briefly lifted his head and looked to the sky as if pleading for mercy or seeking some kind of assistance he knew in his heart would never come. His vision began to turn red as he doubled over again, long fangs tear into his bottom lip as he tried to bite down on the pain.

_I'm so sorry, my love…_

It was his last coherent thought before he lowered his head and screamed in pain as two leathery wings burst forth from his back. The white hot agony drowned out anything that remained of Vincent Valentine as another powerful shudder ran through his body, a body that was no longer his own as Chaos violently emerged. Before long, his intense cries of pain had mutated into a roar of triumph and rage. Free from the prison of his human host's body at last, the demon immediately took to the air. It flapped its wings and growled deep in its chest, scanning the ground with alert red eyes as it began to hunt for prey. This night, Chaos would again taste blood.

_**~ To be continued… ~**_

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((**Author's Note: **This story will involve Vincent's ongoing struggles with Chaos, he and Lucrecia's attempts to adapt to their renewed relationship despite it, Vincent and Sephiroth working on getting to know each other a bit better… and some other issues for Avalanche in Junon Harbor. But it is Vincent's story, part romance and part learning to live again and to adjust to all the alterations that were done to him… and finally confronting his past. Meanwhile Lucrecia is still dealing with her own guilt, trying to get to know the 'new' Vincent and her grown son, and find her place in the world thirty years later. Vincent and Lucrecia love each other deeply, but can they really reconnect after so long? We shall see.

- **A brief catch-up for those new to my AU**: Hojo had cloned Lucrecia hoping to repeat the Jenova Project with her body and a blank memory, but somehow when she came out of stasis her memories had returned (due to her wandering spirit/ghost who appeared to Sephiroth in _Irony of Fate_) A kind lab technician took pity on her and helped her escape, and she tracked down Vincent in Avalanche-controlled Junon Harbor (see _Battlegrounds_). They reconciled and Vincent proposed to her in _Life After Death_, and they have been living together for about two months. Just recently, the Turks arrived seeking protection from Shin-ra during _On My Honor_. Tseng and Elena had been carrying on a secret romance, but Elena accidentally became pregnant. Hojo found out and wanted to experiment on her unborn child (with Rufus' blessing), and when she refused she was captured and held in the lab. Tseng, Reno and Rude rescued her and left Midgar after Tseng shot and killed Hojo. The four Turks are now living in Junon Harbor as refugees under house arrest conditions. The only other thing you want to know is that Sephiroth changed his ways a long time back in _Irony of Fate _and has been working with Avalanche ever since, and is married to Aeris. It was also proven that Vincent is his biological father. I hope this was helpful rather than scaring anyone off… lol.

- Anyway, thank you so much for checking this out! Please take a moment to leave a review if you don't mind. They mean the world to me and I greatly appreciate each and every one of them. Thank you so much! _~ JenesisX _))


	2. Chapter One: Secrets

**Chapter One: Secrets**

The next morning, Lucrecia was busying herself around the apartment, trying to take her mind off of how worried she was. It was after ten already, and Vincent still had not returned. He'd been gone since some time prior to three thirty a.m. the previous night, and by now she was extremely concerned. For a man who seemed pained any time they had to be apart, his sudden disappearance was extremely alarming.

As she moved about the basement, doing her best to concentrate on dusting and organizing the bookcase in the main living area, her mind continued to race with terrifying possibilities. Had something happened to him that was preventing him from getting home? If so, why had he left in the first place? And why hadn't he let her know he was leaving? It seemed obvious to her that he'd left so quietly on purpose, as if he didn't want her to know. She longed to be able to contact him, but his PHS remained in the bedroom with his gun. She briefly considered using it to call Aeris, but didn't want to bother her daughter-in-law, afraid she was overreacting. Surely there was a simple explanation, Lucrecia told herself repeatedly as she cleaned. Vincent would explain everything as soon as he returned. She could not help but glance at the door every few minutes as if willing him to appear, desperate to see him again and know he was safe.

She was sick to her stomach as she absently rearranged a few of his books, her heart not really in her housekeeping efforts. The basement apartment really _did_ need a more thorough cleaning than what she'd been able to accomplish since moving in, though, cobwebs adorning the corners she couldn't reach and the odor of dust and dampness clinging to the air. It was dark and depressing, and Vincent had made no effort whatsoever to make it a home before her arrival. Lucrecia had been trying to change that, but she had little to work with and hadn't found the nerve to address the subject with him. She knew there were plenty of regular apartments throughout the base that had been abandoned after Avalanche removed Shin-ra from Junon Harbor… Someday, she intended to ask him if they could consider moving into one of the empty units. Every time she tried to broach the subject, however, she felt terrible for complaining and lost her nerve. He seemed comfortable in their dwelling, and though he expressed concern about her happiness with it on occasion, he himself did not seem bothered by the conditions in the least. She supposed it didn't really matter where they lived, feeling guilty for being so shallow when simply being reunited with her soul mate should have been enough. At least they hadfinally gotten a bed frame for the bare mattress they'd been sleeping on.

She was studying the cement floor, wondering if it would be possible to locate a nice throw rug to help with the chill and bland décor, when she heard the floorboards in the vacant room directly above begin to creak. She paused and listened as soft footsteps crossed the floor and continued down the stairway to the basement. Her heart began to race as she turned and faced the door, desperately hoping her lover had finally come home.

Sure enough, when the door opened a moment later, Vincent quietly slipped into the room as if trying not to be seen. She noticed that it was unlocked, alarmed that it had been that way since whenever he left the night before. He softly closed and locked it behind him before slowly turning to face her. He appeared a bit surprised to find her standing there waiting for him, quickly lowering his eyes to the floor. He looked guilty and ashamed of himself, an expression that furthered Lucrecia's fears. He was wearing only a black t-shirt and long black pants, and she noted that both knees were torn. His feet were bare aside from a pair of very dirty white socks, and his hair was even more unruly than usual. Lucrecia studied him wordlessly, noticing the way he stood slouched as if he were very tired or uncomfortable. His arms hung limp as his sides, and he didn't lift his head even though she knew he could feel the way she was scrutinizing him.

"Where have you been?" she finally asked, unable to keep her voice from trembling. "You were gone most of the night… I've been really worried." She cringed at the slightly demanding, irritated tone behind her words, but knew that anyone reasonable would have felt the same way in her position.

Vincent hesitantly lifted his head and met her gaze, and she had to suppress a gasp when he did so. His red eyes were heavy and tired, and appeared to be bloodshot though it was a bit difficult to tell. There were dark circles beneath them as if he hadn't sleep in a very long time. There was a deep weariness behind those eyes, along with an emptiness that alarmed her. Even when she'd first come back into his life, she had never seen him look so terrible, so full of despair and exhaustion. It twisted her insides into knots as she fought not to break down and cry, filled with confusion and a rising dread she couldn't explain.

"I was… out…" he said quietly, nearly inaudible. He had always spoken softly despite his deep voice, but since the alterations he'd undergone it had taken on a nearly whispered quality. Lucrecia had always loved his voice and still found it attractive even though it was different than she remembered, but at times it gave his words a haunted tone that nearly made her shiver.

"Out where? And from three in the morning until now?" she asked, tilting her head and trying not to make the questions sound like an accusation. "Without your gun, your PHS, your cloak… or even your boots. Vincent…" She shook her head and frowned, trying to maintain eye contact, but he quickly lowered his head to avoid her stare.

"Out… for a walk. I needed some fresh air…"

Vincent began to cross the room toward the bedroom as if the conversation was over and the situation resolved. Lucrecia's frown deepened, and she began to tremble with a strange mixture of fear and annoyance at the way he was trying to dismiss her inquiries. She was relieved he had finally come home, but he was acting so strangely it gave her chills. She knew there was more to his disappearance than he was saying, but she could not fathom why he wouldn't simply tell her the truth unless he had something very serious to hide…

"An eight hour walk in the middle of the night, without anything on your feet," she said doubtfully, letting the disbelief slip into her voice. She was beginning to lose her patience as her emotions got the better of her. "Vincent, what's going on? This is so unlike you…"

He paused for a moment, sighing heavily as his shoulders slumped forward. She watched as he closed his eyes tightly, the pain and fatigue written across his face. He looked so burdened that she almost forgot her irritation, filled with pity for the man she loved. Lucrecia approached him and placed a gentle hand upon his shoulder, still upset and curious but wanting to comfort him more than anything else. Something was troubling him and she badly wanted to be able to take the pain away. He would have done no less for her.

To her hurt and great surprise, he shrugged away from her touch and continued toward the bedroom without another word. Lucrecia stood frozen in shock, staring after him as her eyes filled with tears. Now she knew for certain that something terrible had happened during the night. Vincent had never rejected her in such a way before, and combined with his strange actions and evasive manner, Lucrecia suddenly felt as if her entire world had been shaken to its core.

"Vincent, please…" she said, her voice strained with emotion. "Talk to me…"

She cautiously came to stand in the doorway, watching as Vincent quietly removed his socks and torn pants until he was left in just his t-shirt and boxers. Without looking at her again, he climbed into bed and laid down, turning away to face the wall. He pulled the comforter up over his head before going completely still, as if he was instantly asleep. Lucrecia knew he wasn't, but had no idea what to do. She stood there for what felt like hours, staring at the unmoving lump with tears trailing down her cheeks. She was trembling so violently that she had to lean against the doorframe to support herself, her pulse pounding in her head so loudly she could hear nothing else.

This was not the man she knew and loved… This was not the devoted and protective partner she had come to depend upon so much in the last two months. Somehow, she had gone to bed with the Vincent she knew and loved the night before, and he'd since been replaced with someone she didn't know at all. She swallowed hard, fighting the panic that continued to rise within her. She wanted so badly to talk to him, to look into his eyes and see that he still loved her, to hear him promise that everything would be okay. But as had happened so many times during her first life, she was too frightened and upset to find her voice.

She took several clumsy steps backward until she had retreated to the living room. She did her best to muffle her sobs as more tears began to fall, lifting a shaking hand to her forehead and standing paralyzed in the middle of the room. Yes, Vincent had changed since they were together thirty years before, and things had often been awkward and difficult to get used to. But Lucrecia had thought their relationship was going so well, that they were adapting and learning to live together without any serious problems. They were engaged to be married, they got along well and had improved their communication, and they had an amazing sex life. What had happened in the last few hours to change all of that? Suddenly he couldn't even look at her…

Unable to make sense of the situation and filled with grief and worry, Lucrecia curled up on the couch and wrapped a blanket around herself, feeling more chilled and unsettled than she could remember. Exhausted from the long, lonely night before, she soon cried herself to sleep.

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((**Author's Notes: **Aww, how sad. Also, Vincent is a terrible liar! Anyway... a big THANK YOU to everyone who has reviewed thus far and added this story to their favorites and/or alerts. It means the world to me and has only motivated me to work harder on it. I updated after only two days, after all, haha. I very much cherish and appreciate the support and help getting the word out that I am actively writing again! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Next, find out what happens when Vincent wakes up and tries to get himself out of this mess. If you want to read more about Vincent and Lucrecia in the mean time, I have several short stories posted for them in addition to the multis I mentioned before (_Life After Death_ and _On My Honor_). Go ahead and take a look at my profile, there's quite a few by now. Cheers for now! ~ _JenesisX _))


	3. Chapter Two: Atonement

**Chapter Two: Atonement**

Lucrecia was roused from her slumber by the feeling of something soft and slightly warm coming to rest against her cheek. She frowned, her eyes still closed, slowly coming back to her senses. It did not take long before everything that happened before she laid down came rushing back.

_Oh gods… Vincent…_

When she opened her eyes, she was surprised but largely relieved to find him on one knee before her, his normal hand pressed against her cheek and his eyes intent upon her face. When she met his gaze, the corners of his mouth turned up in an attempt at a smile, about as close as he usually managed to come.

"Good evening," he said quietly, continuing to kneel before her as Lucrecia tiredly shifted into a sitting position, keeping the blanket wrapped around herself against the basement's usual chill. She didn't quite know how to respond, still upset and uneasy over what had happened between them, but couldn't help but lean into his touch.

She studied him closely as if searching for answers. He had changed into fresh clothing and his hair was wet as if he'd just gotten out of the shower, the scent of soap lightly clinging to him. His customary red bandana held most of the hair out of his face, but as usual several strands rebelled and trailed over top of it. She noticed that he still looked tired, but not nearly as bad as before. His eyes were far more alert and the pain in his expression was largely gone. Still, he looked troubled and unsure of himself, as if there was much on his mind. Lucrecia knew exactly how he felt…

"About before…" he began when she still did not speak, leaving his hand against her face as his claw rested on the couch beside her. "I wanted to apologize. I was… out of line."

Lucrecia swallowed hard, annoyed with herself when she felt fresh tears already beginning to fill her eyes. "It… it's okay, Vincent," she said in nearly a whisper, her voice still hoarse from crying and sleep.

"No, it is _not_ okay," he replied, shaking his head and frowning. "I had no right to behave that way… You deserve so much better."

He hung his head until it was nearly resting in her lap, looking so ashamed of himself that it broke her heart. Lucrecia was unable to help but reach out to him, running one hand through his damp hair and sighing quietly.

"I was just so worried about you," she told him, her voice trembling with emotion. "When I woke up and you were gone, I was afraid something terrible had happened. And then you finally came back and seemed… not yourself."

He said nothing for long moments and didn't move as she ran her fingers through his hair, staring at the top of his head and desperately wishing she could read his thoughts. Finally, he slowly raised his head, meeting her eyes with an expression of regret and sorrow.

"I have been… a bit stressed as of late, and I fear it has gotten to me," he said, his deep voice so quiet she had to concentrate to hear his words. "But that is no excuse… I am sorry I worried you, and that I was so temperamental earlier. Can you ever forgive me, my love?"

He was nearly pleading with her, gently stroking her cheek as he gazed deep into her eyes. He looked as if he was expecting rejection, believing she was about to tell him his actions were inexcusable and their relationship was over. Lucrecia had butterflies in her stomach, wondering why he felt so guilty over a relatively minor disagreement. Yes, he had disappeared for a number of hours, but if he'd simply needed time alone to think she understood. She knew he was largely nocturnal, after all, so it _did_ make sense once she was calm enough to think about it rationally. He'd also gotten used to living in solitude and was still adjusting to sharing his life and his space with her after so long on his own. Still, she was left uneasy, as if there was something much darker to it. But his expression was so sad and regretful that it melted her heart and broke through her suspicions.

She reached out with both hands and rested them against either side of his face, holding his gaze and allowing herself a soft, affectionate smile. He instantly seemed to relax a bit, though he still looked intensely concerned.

"It's all right, baby," she said, realizing she could never remain upset with him for very long. His remorse and apology were clearly genuine, and they'd been through so much together that the current issue seemed petty by comparison. "I understand… There's been a lot going on lately."

It was true, after all. Vincent was under a lot of pressure as the head of base security, and the recent arrival of the fugitive Turks had only compounded his responsibilities. Cloud was still angry with him for allowing them to stay without consulting him first, and the base's leader had not seemed to like or trust him much to begin with. Then there had been the news of Hojo's death and his difficulty dealing with both it and Lucrecia's initial reaction. When one considered that they were also still learning to deal with the shock of being reunited and becoming a couple again, as well as trying to get to know their troubled adult son, she could definitely understand how he might be feeling a bit overwhelmed. He'd been wonderful since she arrived two months before, even though at times things remained a bit uncomfortable between them. He tried so hard to make her happy, just as he always had. The least Lucrecia could do was forgive one minor transgression. He had forgiven her for much, much worse…

"Are you sure?" Vincent asked, hopeful but still worried. "I want to make it up to you…"

In reply, she leaned down and kissed him softly, pleased when his hand snaked around to the back of her neck to hold her close. The contact instantly removed the chill from her body and she pushed the blanket aside, their kisses quickly becoming passionate and almost desperate. At least there was one aspect of their relationship that never seemed to be a problem, she thought absently.

"Yes, I'm sure," she finally managed to answer, a bit breathless. She smiled at the way his cheeks had flushed despite the paleness of his skin and how much cooler his skin was than a normal man's. He was still very much human, whether he believed it or not. Lucrecia was more than happy to remind him of that as often as he needed.

He finally rose to his feet and held out his hand for her, helping her to stand before pulling her into his arms in a fierce embrace. With her body pressed against his and his strong arms around her, Lucrecia was able to forget her doubts and fears and simply enjoy being with the man she loved.

"I need to be close to you," he whispered against her neck, his breath warm on her skin. "Would you do me the honor…?"

When she lifted her head and met his gaze, she found herself drawn into his intense red eyes. She loved him so deeply, and when he looked at her that way she found him impossible to resist. He studied her reverently, his expression filled with adoration and a burning desire. Lucrecia was still amazed at how quickly he could go from cold and distant to intense and passionate. He had always been that way, though both ends of the spectrum were now far more pronounced. She didn't know if it had something to do with his alterations, or with his experiences and the passage of time… but whatever the cause, the effect was intoxicating and powerful.

She realized she had been silent for nearly a minute as she studied him, and his expression had grown a bit concerned. She smiled warmly, taking his hand in hers and starting toward their bedroom. A look of relief crossed his face as he followed her, his eyes shining.

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be," she reassured him, meaning every word. And though she knew their issues were far from resolved, and a lingering doubt remained about what had happened during the previous night, Lucrecia gladly pushed them aside for the time being. What mattered was that Vincent was himself again, and that he needed her. All of their difficulties could certainly wait until later.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Some time later, Vincent was lying awake in bed with Lucrecia wrapped in his arms, thinking over the last few days. She had drifted off to sleep again almost immediately after they'd made love, clearly exhausted from the stress he'd put her through. He looked down at her and tenderly stroked her hair, still filled with a sickening guilt.

Not only had he been too weak to continue to resist Chaos, he had also lied to her… In his mind, that was nearly unforgivable. He'd been unable to tell her the truth, even though what he _did_ tell her about his recent stress overwhelming him was true. It was not right to keep the full reason from her, but Vincent found he simply could not bring himself to tell her.

If she knew he had awakened so close to transforming into a demon right there in bed beside her the night before, surely she would be terrified. Anyone would be, no matter how much they cared for him. If he told her, he fully expected her to leave him, to flee as far away as possible… and Vincent knew that was something he could not survive. He'd lived through losing her once before, just barely, and this time it would surely be the death of him. So he had been selfish, avoiding sharing the truth with her in order to keep her by his side. He needed her… and he needed to be able to protect her. The idea of going on without her after she had finally returned to his life, along with considering the dangers she may run into out on her own in such an unstable world, was simply too much. He could not risk it no matter what he had to do to prevent it from occurring.

He sighed quietly, reflexively tightening his arm around his sleeping lover. How could he ever expect her to accept what he had become? He knew that, eventually, he would likely be unable to continue hiding his normally frequent transformations from her. She was already worried and suspicious after just one incident. He had made her cry. That alone was bad enough…

As happy as they were to be back together, their relationship was not without its difficulties. Vincent had been so hurt and depressed, and alone for so long, that he'd almost forgotten how to relate to others. His communication skills had never been particularly good, but now he often found it extremely difficult to hold even a normal conversation. He'd always been a man of few words, but this was ridiculous and beyond frustrating. Making small talk was an art lost on him, and as a result they often lapsed into periods of awkward silence. He knew it made Lucrecia uncomfortable, and due to her own shyness she was often unable to break the spell. He would watch the way she'd shift nervously and glance at him out of the corner of her eye, unsure of what she ought to do or why he seemed so distant. He wanted so badly to be like any normal person and simply talk to her, but found he could not lower his guard, unable to find his voice when he needed it most. Vincent found it was easier to physically show her how he felt these days, but it didn't seem like enough no matter how passionate and intense they were together. He remained so self conscious about his scarred and altered body that he doubted she could possibly enjoy being close to him anyway. She certainly _seemed_ to, but somehow Vincent managed to remain insecure. It didn't matter what she said, or how much she enjoyed their love-making. He was unconvinced.

Why did she stay with him, he wondered for perhaps the thousandth time since her return. Was it because she had nowhere else to go? Was she only settling for him because she'd needed someone to protect her from Hojo at first? Now that her ex-husband was dead, Vincent feared she would no longer need him and move on. Chaos was more than a good enough excuse. Part of him did realize she truly loved him… He could see it in her eyes and feel it when she touched him without concern for his differences. But a far larger part, the part that had always filled his mind with self-loathing and doubt, feared that it was all an illusion he was too desperate to see through.

Vincent closed his eyes tightly, trying to remind himself that he was lying in bed holding the one he loved, that despite their difficulties they were together again. This time, it was forever, and he would do anything to make sure of it. His entire being still ached from the transformation the night before, but it mattered so little with her warm body pressed against his. Thankfully, Chaos had gone silent inside his mind, satisfied for the time being and chased away by the positive emotions between he and Lucrecia. For the moment, all was well… She'd forgiven him and quickly shown that she still loved and trusted him. But even as Vincent tried to focus on the present and drift off to sleep, he knew that eventually Chaos would erupt once more, and next time the results might be far more costly.

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((**Author's Notes**: So our happy couple can recover from ONE such incident, but what about if (read: when) it happens again? Vincent has so much on his mind, and a _lot_ to deal with in Junon Harbor, as we shall see next chapter. There will be a little father and son bonding, too. Thank you again for the favs/alerts and especially taking the time to review! You have no idea how happy I get when I see a new one in my e-mail… It's a little sad. *grin* Thank you very much! _~ JenesisX _))


	4. Chapter Three: Progression

**Chapter Three: Progression**

The next morning, Vincent found himself walking along Main Street in Junon Harbor, squinting against the sun and already feeling overheated. Normally he would not have ventured outside at such an hour, either asleep or simply hiding out indoors. Today, however, he had a task to perform as head of base security that required him to work during the day despite his preferences.

Recently, a roaming band of monsters had been harassing the residents of the small town below the base. Since Avalanche was now protecting them and had promised to help them rebuild their lives, it had fallen to Vincent to deal with the situation. The monsters had been most active during the afternoon, the time of day they seemed to be hunting for food. Several pets had already gone missing and people were beginning to fear for their children. He supposed he could have assigned the duty to someone else, but he had few experienced fighters on his security team and wanted to be sure the task was thoroughly completed without anyone getting hurt. So there he was, braving the light of day, his eyes on the ground to avoid the piercing rays.

He felt a bit better that morning, having held Lucrecia through the night and been there for her when she awakened. They'd made love again, something that still surprised him. After emerging from his coffin in Nibelheim, Vincent had thought that part of himself was as dead as his heart and soul. But it seemed to have only been hibernating, along with most of his ability to express himself and feel for others. Lucrecia made him feel like a man instead of a monster… Perhaps that was why he so often needed to be in her arms. In those intimate moments he could almost forget what he had become.

He was relieved that Lucrecia was back in good spirits that day, making plans to visit several shops on the base to look for items for their home and other things she needed. She had arrived with nothing, after all, and was still settling in. She also needed to visit the library in search of more reading material, since it was what she did most of the time while he was at work. Lucrecia read incredibly fast, and her intelligence continued to amaze him. A lesser man might have found such a brilliant woman intimidating, but Vincent was simply impressed and in awe of her. Everything about her amazed him.

Chaos had largely remained silent inside his mind, for which Vincent was grateful. Perhaps his recent transformation had been a fluke, a result of all the recent events coming back to haunt him. The demon clearly did not like warm feelings and intimacy, and it was during those times that he felt most free from its influence. It was yet another reason he so often sought the comfort of his lover's embrace… as if he needed any excuse at all when he loved her so deeply. The thirty years apart had something to do with it as well.

Vincent briefly lifted his gaze as he walked along the base's main strip. Many of the shops and establishments were already open for business, and everything seemed peaceful. Almost all of the civilians who resided on the base had remained once Avalanche made it their own, and most of the businesses that had been abandoned were quickly taken over by the flock of new residents who'd arrived in the following months. Most were fugitives running from Shin-ra or victims of their greed who had become displaced and desperate. It was people like them that Avalanche was fighting for, and they'd been welcomed with open arms. The rapid rise in population had unfortunately lent itself to an increase in crime and conflict, however, which was part of what had been keeping Vincent in a near-constant state of vigilance.

His eyes fell upon one of the busiest locations on the base, a large pub called The Bulldog Tavern. He'd always wondered who had named the business, as the two bat-eared creatures with big brown eyes and giant heads adorning the sign above the doorway didn't look like any bulldogs he'd ever seen. At first, he'd been called there to break up fights and evict drunken imbeciles more often than he cared to remember. But the original owner, the wife of a SOLDIER who'd been sent on to Midgar while it was under siege from Diamond WEAPON, soon left to join him there. Having previous experience in the business and wanting something constructive to do when not actively battling Shin-ra, Tifa had quickly stepped in and taken over. She'd said something about people needing an outlet and a place to let loose, things which Vincent had never really understood. But he did agree that many normal people seemed to gravitate toward such locations, and the fact that Tifa was now running the business had instant benefits for him.

Suddenly there were almost no further incidents, and when there were, the martial arts expert handled them herself with a dark look and sharp word, or with her fists and feet if need be. The fact that she and Cloud lived directly above the establishment, her husband widely respected as the base's leader and almost always seen carrying a large sword, didn't hurt either. The Bulldog Tavern remained loud and boisterous, but it was no longer a constant security issue. Vincent was relieved beyond words, the noise and smoke inside the crowded bar extremely difficult for him to tolerate. He could now happily avoid it and pretend it didn't exist.

Tifa was also contributing to life on the base by forming a martial arts class to help train their small military, security staff, and anyone else interested in learning self defense or simply in a good workout. Yuffie had been assisting her in the endeavor, which helped keep the young ninja out of trouble when she was not working for Vincent. Along with Red, Tifa served as one of Cloud's chief advisors in running the base and planning strategies to combat Shin-ra across the Planet. The base had been running smoothly thus far, and the large corporation they had so often battled remained uncharacteristically silent as they undoubtedly struggled to handle the loss of five of their top employees, two of whom had been heads of their departments.

A bit farther down the road, Vincent saw something that almost made him smirk with amusement. There were a number of decorative planters and statues scattered along the streets, most especially around the many businesses and apartment buildings. The majority had been empty or full of weeds upon their arrival. Aeris, who was in charge of City Beautification and Renewal, had been working diligently to change that. Any time she and the others needed a break from trying to clean up the pollution surrounding the harbor, she could be found trying to add color and cheer to the utilitarian base. Just outside a garment shop, Vincent spotted Aeris kneeling down and busily planting flowers along the walkway. What made the sight so unusual was the large bald man sitting in the dirt beside her, just as focused as he gently patted the soil around the yellow pansies he was installing. Elena stood nearby at a cart full of many different types and colors of flowers, handing them down to her companions as needed. Both former Turks looked as if they were actually enjoying the activity, especially Rude. Vincent shook his head, reminded that one should never judge someone based on appearance alone. If only more people subscribed to that, he thought. It would make his life a hell of a lot easier.

Before leaving the base to go on his monster hunt, Vincent had one stop to make. He sighed quietly to himself as the building he was headed for came into sight, wondering yet again if this was such a good idea after all. But he had no idea how many of the hostile creatures there really were in the area, and as tempting as it was to go alone he knew it was not wise. Besides, his need for a partner was as good an excuse as any to make an attempt at something he was ashamed to admit he avoided most of the time… Trying to bond with his son.

Vincent knew from what Aeris told him that Sephiroth was quite frustrated with his limited role within the base. While he held the title of head of the military, it was in name only. Cloud allowed him to train new recruits and run practice drills, as well as handle most of the related paperwork, but that was nearly all. When it came to planning and discussing strategies for combating Shin-ra and defending the base, or anything else of importance, the former elite general was left out in the cold. Cloud may have no longer been openly hostile toward Sephiroth, but he remained cold and untrusting, dismissive to the point where it was obvious to all he would have preferred not to have him among them. Even the young men in the newly formed army could see it, and at times it caused Sephiroth problems earning their respect. He quickly brought them back into line, but it was an issue that should not have existed.

Another problem aside from Sephiroth's hurt and anger over the situation was that quite simply, he was bored. And when he was bored, he thought too much… which for a man with his past and continuing emotional struggles was a very dangerous thing. Aeris had told him how Sephiroth would often pace and mutter to himself inside their apartment, his mood darkening and sometimes remaining so for days. When he had something to do on the base, she said, he was much more relaxed and had fewer flashbacks and nightmares. She'd tried to engage him in activities and did her best to keep his mind off his troubles, but her efforts could only go so far. Vincent hoped spending a day doing what he did best might help to ease some of his son's building tension.

The other reason for deciding to bring Sephiroth along was a bit less selfless. Lucrecia had been asking him to make more of an attempt to get to know their son since she'd arrived, wishing that he was more comfortable around him and with their relationship. Vincent had been stalling and mostly avoiding it, but he wanted nothing more than to make her happy. After what he'd just put her through, he felt he more than owed it to her to finally do as she'd been asking. He knew she'd be pleasantly surprised when he returned home that evening and told her what he'd done, and it would also give them something to talk about. He needed all the help he could get when it came to making conversation.

Upon reaching the apartment building where Sephiroth and Aeris lived, Vincent paused for a moment to gather his resolve. As awkward as it was likely to be, he needed to do this… both for Sephiroth, and his beloved. He briefly closed his eyes as he stepped up to the door and opened it, hoping he would find the other man in a decent mood. There was no guarantee he would even want to come along, Vincent knew, but he owed it to Sephiroth to at least ask. And besides, the quicker they took care of the monsters, the sooner he could get out of the blistering sunlight and back to Lucrecia. Sephiroth was definitely the most qualified person he could think of to assist him. Regardless of what most others thought of him, Vincent trusted him to watch his back.

Vincent stepped through the open door and felt instant relief once inside the dimly lit, cool lower level of the building. He climbed the flight of stairs to the second floor and walked down a short hallway until he stood before the door to the apartment the swordsman shared with Aeris. He paused again, hating how awkward and unsure of himself he felt. He suspected he made Sephiroth feel much the same way and wondered if that would ever change. Hoping he was not making a mistake, he lifted his normal hand and knocked.

Instantly, a deafening sound exploded through Vincent's head, causing him to cringe and reflexively raise his hands to cover his ears. It was coming from the other side of the door, but was so loud to his sensitive hearing that it felt as if it was inside his skull. It took him a moment to recover his senses enough to realize that what he heard was a canine barking. Very loudly.

Vincent had forgotten all about the dog. Apparently, a stray had followed Sephiroth home recently and managed to convince the often cold-hearted soldier to give him a new home. He never would have expected such a thing of Sephiroth, but then, it _did_ make sense. If he was bored and lonely when left home by himself, getting a pet was a reasonable decision… even if Vincent himself didn't quite understand how an animal could ease the pain of missing another person. Lucrecia had been asking if they could get a cat for much the same reason and he frowned, again feeling guilty. He never denied her anything that would make her happy, but in this case he'd so far had to say no. He was concerned that a small, quick-moving animal would only excite Chaos' prey drive that so often rose to the forefront of his thoughts. That was the last thing he needed. She'd looked a bit concerned when he attempted to explain his reasons but said she understood. Her disappointment had been plain to see, however, and it cut him like a knife.

He was relieved to hear Sephiroth's deep voice interrupt the barking, firmly commanding the dog to be quiet and to back away from the door. Vincent dropped his hands from his ears, feeling as if his brain had been assaulted. His ears continued to ring and he rapidly shook his head in an attempt to make it stop.

A moment later the door opened, and a very surprised Sephiroth stood staring at him as if he'd just discovered a pack of aliens instead of his father. Vincent was about to say something to that effect when a very large creature squeezed past his owner and began to enthusiastically sniff him from his boots upward.

Vincent had been expecting a _dog_… Something knee-high or so, maybe fifty pounds. Perhaps cute and fuzzy. But suddenly the volume of its bark made far more sense. _This_ dog was just over four feet tall at the top of its head, and though it was still underweight from its time on the streets, the canine had to weigh close to two hundred pounds.

"I thought you said you got a dog, not a farm animal," Vincent said dryly, remaining completely still as the creature began to slowly run its black nose up his leg. Animals sometimes reacted unpredictably to him these day, and he didn't want to make any sudden movements. He supposed he must have smelled strange to them… unnatural, somewhere between a living being and an animated corpse. Or a mixture of man and demon. He hoped the dog would not decide he was a threat, because at its size it would have been quite dangerous when angry. He assumed having to shoot the creature in self defense would not improve his son's feelings toward him.

A brief smirk graced Sephiroth's face. He did not seem concerned about his dog's actions, allowing him to thoroughly sniff his way up to Vincent's hand. After rubbing its wet nose against his fingers and switching sides to study his metal claw, the dog gave a quiet snort and tilted his head thoughtfully, curiously looking up at Vincent's face. He forced a smile, worried that the dog had finally realized he was not a normal man. To his surprise and great relief, the creature's massive tail began to wag frantically once their eyes met, and it forcefully pushed its head up against Vincent's claw as if it was nothing at all to be concerned about.

"He is asking you to pet him," Sephiroth said when Vincent did not react, still a bit cautious. Most of his experiences with canines had involved Guard Hounds, the majority of whom were quite aggressive.

"Of course," he said, trying to hide how uneasy the enormous dog made him. Cautiously, he lifted his normal hand and began to lightly pat the creature on the top of its thick skull. The wagging of its tail only grew faster, and Sephiroth was unable to keep a fond expression from his crossing his face.

"It seems he likes you."

"I am relieved…"

Sephiroth snorted with amusement. "He does not always like men, I have noticed… Every time he sees Cloud, for instance, he barks and growls and I have to restrain him."

Vincent raised an eyebrow, still awkwardly patting the dog. "There may be a good reason for that…" Since animals could sense fear and other strong emotions, certainly Sephiroth's pet could tell that nothing but negativity existed between the two men. The canine already knew who the primary aggressor was as well. Amazing.

Sephiroth finally waved him into the apartment, and Vincent managed to squeeze past the excited canine and close the door behind him. He remained standing stiffly in the foyer, the dog demanding that he continue to pet it while making happy sounds under its breath. Despite its massive size, the creature was behaving like a gleeful puppy. Its warm brown eyes were nearly shining with happiness and a silly grin had spread across its face.

"What is its name?" Vincent asked, finally convinced that the creature wasn't going to maul him and scratching it behind the ears with a bit more enthusiasm. The dog suddenly leaned its entire body against him, nearly knocking him back into the wall before he was able to brace himself against its weight.

"_His_ name is Blade," Sephiroth said, a bit offended on his dog's behalf. "I assume you have not come by just to meet him?"

Vincent sighed quietly at the other man's cold, suspicious tone. He knew it was largely his own fault, as he rarely spent time with his son unless it was absolutely required. That was exactly why he'd forced himself to come…

"I actually wished to ask you a favor of sorts," he replied after a moment of uncomfortable silence, glancing up and doing his best to make eye contact. "Are you busy today?"

Sephiroth snorted and shook his head bitterly. "What do you think?"

"Good. Then I am going to borrow you for my security team."

"…What?"

Vincent almost laughed at the worried expression that crossed his face. But in another way, it saddened him. "I need someone with actual fighting ability to assist me with something outside of town."

"So take Yuffie with you."

"Someone who does not annoy me and make me wish to deafen myself."

Sephiroth blinked, then actually snickered despite himself. "What do you need me to do?" he asked, looking more curious now than suspicious.

"The townspeople are having an issue with a roaming band of monsters. They seem to hunt for food during the day and have been attacking pets and livestock. I am going to look for them and attempt to wipe them out… and while I was tempted to do so myself, I realized that would not be the wisest course of action. If I got myself killed doing something so foolish, your mother would be less than pleased."

Sephiroth nodded after a moment's hesitation, a thoughtful frown on his face as he considered the task. "Hmm…" He appeared reluctant, studying Vincent as if trying to decide whether or not he really wanted to have to spend the day in his company. But finally, the idea of having something to do and the possibility of battle was simply too tempting an offer for him to refuse. He turned toward the wall where his trench coat and weapon hung, beginning to prepare himself without another word.

Blade left Vincent's side and instantly ran to Sephiroth in a panic, whining and laying his ears back against his skull, his eyes suddenly filled with sadness. Sephiroth sighed after shrugging into his coat and sheathing the Masamune across his back, shaking his head in mild annoyance.

"He does this any time I must leave the house without him," he informed Vincent, patting the dog on the head in an attempt to comfort him. "Aeris says that he cries and paces the entire time I am gone, as if he cannot stand to be away from me. I read in a book about dogs that it is called 'separation anxiety.'" A crooked grin spread across Sephiroth's face, and for a moment he seemed to be trying not to laugh.

"What is funny?" Vincent couldn't help but ask. He _was _supposed to be trying to improve his conversation skills, after all. And Sephiroth so rarely laughed that he assumed it must be something worth knowing.

Sephiroth paused as if unsure whether or not he wished to share his thoughts, finally facing Vincent and looking a little embarrassed. "It is just that… he reminds me of myself when I am apart from Aeris. And when I told her so, she agreed with me." His cheeks colored a bit pink, and he reached up onto a shelf by the door to retrieve a large leg bone, tossing it to the dog as he prepared to exit.

This time when the corners of Vincent's mouth turned upward into an attempted smile, it was a rare genuine one that actually reached his eyes. "I know exactly how that feels," he admitted, pleased to find they had at least one rather personal thing in common. Sephiroth briefly tilted his head as if considering his words, then hastily turned back to the door.

"Let's go and find these monsters of yours, so we can teach them that our town is _not_ a lunch buffet," he said, his eyes alive with the anticipation of battle. Vincent nodded and followed him out of the apartment, leaving the dog to take out his frustrations upon his treat.

* * *

((**Author's Notes: **This chapter was intended to do a few things… Give a bit more insight into what's going on in Vincent's head, fill in some information as to what's been going on in Junon Harbor with some of the others, and set up the next part of the plot with Vincent and Sephiroth doing a bit of male bonding. Also, it's the official debut of Blade the dog, a tribute to my Great Dane who passed away in 2009 (his birthday just passed on April 19th). He's been in a few short stories before now, but this appearance makes him an official part of my AU! Anyway, hope you all enjoyed this one and plan to stick around for more. Please, as always, take a moment to share your thoughts by posting a review! I am so glad to hear from my readers, and thrilled to see a record number of people adding one of my stories to their favorites and alerts. So thank you all again! ~ JenesisX ))


	5. Chapter Four: Temptation

**Chapter Four: Temptation**

Battles were so much less stressful when one had a fully competent partner, Vincent thought to himself as he fired his gun at an approaching creature, hitting it directly between the eyes. It fell to the ground with a brief yelp and did not move again.

He was crouched behind a large boulder, one of several in the otherwise open plains surrounding Junon Harbor, methodically picking off the large, mutated wolves one by one. Sephiroth stood about thirty feet away, easily cutting down the creatures who circled around him as if it were effortless. Vincent continued to fire upon the wolves at the outer edges of the circle they'd formed around the swordsman, confident that Sephiroth was not foolish enough to make any sudden movements into his line of fire. Besides, even if Vincent had accidentally shot him, he doubted it would have done much harm. He had always been an unusually accurate shot even among other Turks, however, so it was hardly a concern.

The creatures largely ignored him as he paused to reload the Death Penalty before continuing to fire, concentrating on the more obvious threat before them. Sephiroth was nearly grinning as he fought them off with his sword, back in his element and thoroughly enjoying the exertion. Vincent's thoughts were far more practical. They had a job to do, and he would be pleased so long as they succeeded without being seriously injured. Part of him had to admit that fighting alongside his son was rather enjoyable, though. They made a formidable team, and he was filled with an unexpected pride at how well Sephiroth fought.

One of the large, salivating creatures finally seemed to realize that someone else was killing many of its companions from a distance, turning to glare at Vincent with angry orange eyes. As it did so, a few others nearby followed its gaze and finally spotted him behind the bolder, starting to move toward him together. Sephiroth was occupied with at least half a dozen others, his back turned.

Vincent frowned in concentration, rising into a better shooting stance since his cover was already blown. He aimed first at the leader of the group of four, firing and hitting him several times in the chest and shoulder. The creature fell to the ground, twitching but still barely alive as its companions growled in fury and continued to approach. It seemed witnessing one of their own cut down in their midst did nothing to deter them. In fact, it only seemed to tick them off and motivate them further.

_Wonderful…_

The three remaining creatures suddenly rushed toward him, faster than he'd previously seen them move. Vincent had time to pick off the largest of them before turning his fire on one of the others and instantly dropping it to the ground. But the third was still charging as he focused his aim upon it, taking to the air and leaping at him before he was able to get off his next shot.

Vincent squeezed the trigger as the mutated wolf tackled him to the ground, hitting it in the stomach but not wounding it seriously enough to stop its attack. The creature pinned him to the ground with massive paws, its weight upon his chest making it difficult to move or breathe. It snarled and leaned down, angrily biting him in the right shoulder.

The pain tore through him and he winced, holding back an agonized cry and managing to raise his clawed left hand to punch the wolf firmly in the jaw. It yelped as solid metal met bone with a loud crack, stunned for a moment. Vincent took advantage of the opportunity and attempted to raise his injured arm to shoot the creature again and hopefully finish it off.

The fresh wave of pain brought on by the movement instantly caused his vision to go red, thoughts of violence pouring unwanted into his consciousness. Yes… He would tear out the creature's innards and feast upon them, bathing in its blood and reveling in its suffering. He would-

_No!_

Vincent grit his teeth, already able to feel the fangs of Chaos beginning to emerge. He blinked rapidly, fighting to clear his vision and his mind. He was _not _going to let the demon break free again. As his body began to tremble, he cursed himself and his weakness and tried again to lift his gun arm as the creature leaned down toward his throat with its teeth bared. It was going for the kill.

This time, Vincent was successful and aimed for the wolf's chest, firing three times in rapid succession. The creature let out an angry howl and instantly collapsed on top of him, its warm blood soaking into his shirt and cloak. The smell of it was overpowering and his mind began to race with Chaos' vile desires. The blood was so warm and smelled so wonderful…. No, it smelled _terrible! _He wanted nothing more than to get out from beneath the creature.

_And then feast upon its remains…_

Vincent heard a low growl escape his lips, his muscles growing tense as Chaos slowly began to take over his body. He struggled to get out from beneath the creature's corpse, but he was so distracted by pain and his inner battle that he was unable to find the strength. He closed his eyes and shuddered violently, clenching his hands into fists even as they began to warp into demonic claws.

Just as he was convinced the battle was lost, the weight upon his chest was lifted away. Suddenly able to breathe easier, he struggled into a sitting position, gasping for air and staring down at his trembling limbs. His skin had taken on a purplish tint and his muscle mass had already increased. He glanced over at the bloody corpse of the creature that had been removed from atop him, his mind filled with a mixture of revulsion, relief, and violent desire.

"Are you all right?"

The familiar deep voice broke through his troubled thoughts, and Vincent finally noticed the large black boots firmly planted beside the creature's remains. Forcing himself to focus and lift his head, he found himself looking into the concerned eyes of his son.

At first he could not speak, closing his eyes and fighting with everything he had to force Chaos to relinquish his body and go back into hiding. He fought to slow his breathing and the racing of his heart, calling on memories of his time with Lucrecia to aid him. Slowly, despite the fact that the odor of blood remained strong and nearly intoxicating to the demonic part of him, Vincent felt the tension ease as his body began to return to normal.

"I… think so," he finally replied in a voice that was not yet quite his own, far more gravelly than his usual whispered tone. "Thank you…"

Sephiroth simply nodded, sheathing his sword and continuing to study Vincent with concern. "You are injured," he noted flatly, his eyes falling upon the shoulder wound the creature had inflicted. Vincent had nearly forgotten about it, but realized it burned quite a bit when he tried to move his arm. Chaos enjoyed the pain, and he was careful to keep it still while he remained vulnerable.

"It is minor… and though I do not heal quite as quickly as you, I still do so at an accelerated rate." There. His voice sounded closer to normal now, though the tension remained and a stifling exhaustion had begun to creep into his aching body. Transformations, even those that he was able to stop, always left him physically and mentally drained. He fought the urge to yawn, memories of his long rest in the coffin at Nibelheim suddenly quite appealing.

"It should still be tended to," Sephiroth insisted, glancing around to make sure all of the creatures were indeed dead. "And you ought to take a moment to recover and wash away some of the blood before we attempt to continue our mission…"

He had clearly noticed how close Vincent had come to transforming, but somehow managed not to sound alarmed. Vincent appreciated that more than he would be able to express in words, so as was often the case he didn't even try. He simply nodded to Sephiroth and accepted the gloved hand he offered, rising a bit shakily to his feet and glancing down at his torn shirt and the deep scratches beneath it. He placed his gun in its holster and sighed heavily, disgusted with himself. So close… He had come so close to losing control again, and so soon after the last time. What was _wrong_ with him?

"There is a stream just a bit East of our position," Sephiroth went on when Vincent only continued to stare down at his boots, unmoving. He seemed to sense how uneasy and shaken his companion was, calmly taking control of the situation like the experienced leader he was. "Let's take a moment to recuperate there before hunting down the remaining creatures."

Vincent nodded weakly and began to follow after Sephiroth, his pace more sluggish than usual. What was going on, he wondered, ashamed of himself and more than a little frightened. Was he finally beginning to completely lose his mind to the demon that possessed him? Why did he feel so weak, so easily overcome the moment Chaos was given the slightest of openings? Suddenly, the future he'd finally started to believe might actually be bright looked far more disturbing…

* * *

((**Author's Notes:** This scene sort of just... came out of thin air. I was unsure of whether or not I was going to include some of Vincent and Seph's actual fighting, but I sat down this morning and just decided to... start typing and see what happened. This is the result. I actually enjoyed it, considering I am not a fan of writing action/battle scenes. I think because I was still able to do character work while doing so? Anxious to hear what you all think of it! Please take a moment and review if you don't mind, as I tend to worry when I see lots of hits but no comments...lol. Thanks again! _~ JenesisX_ ))


	6. Chapter Five: Denial

**Chapter Five: Denial**

Vincent and Sephiroth sat a few feet apart in the grass beside a clear stream, taking a break from their monster hunt for the time being. Sephiroth took a long drink from his canteen, his eyes focused on the afternoon sky above them. He hadn't said a word since suggesting they stop to rest, which was fine with his companion.

Vincent was soaked, having removed his boots, cloak, and equipment before fully immersing himself in the cool stream. He'd desperately needed to remove the blood from his clothing, the smell still taunting Chaos even after he'd regained control of himself. Much of it had soaked through to the skin, which was why he had decided to wade out so far into the water. Besides, he hadn't been about to undress to wash the items, still painfully modest about his altered body and the many scars he'd been left with. No one had ever seen them aside from Lucrecia… and that damned nosey doctor back in Mideel… and Vincent intended to keep it that way.

For once he was actually glad for the sun that beat down upon him, as the stream had been rather cold and it was difficult to move very agilely in waterlogged attire. Thankfully his heavy cloak had not soaked up much of the wolf's blood, and he'd been able to easily rinse most of it out without wetting down the entire thing. He sat with it wrapped around his shoulders as he dried off, admitting that he was actually a bit chilly. He supposed his lower body temperature made warming himself from the inside rather difficult.

He'd confirmed that his shoulder wound was indeed fairly minor. There were a few deep punctures from the creature's teeth with long scratches trailing downward from them, but it had already stopped bleeding and begun to scab over. It looked much worse than it actually was, and though it still burned and itched a little, it was easy to ignore once he was no longer battling an angry demon for control of his person.

Far harder to push aside were Vincent's continuing worries about his mental state. He had awakened after a nightmare in mid-transformation just one day before, but instead of having the usual relatively peaceful period that tended to follow, the demon's thoughts and desires had instead remained close to the surface as if still unsatisfied. Injuries had brought forth Chaos in the past, but almost never something so insignificant. There had been no warning, no sudden build up… Chaos was suddenly _there_, right at the surface, so close to breaking free again he'd been certain he couldn't stop it. And he wouldn't have, if Sephiroth hadn't stepped in…

Even though the man had indeed saved him a world of pain, he still wished that his son had not witnessed the incident. The look of concern in Sephiroth's eyes had given away the words he hadn't spoken. If he could already tell how hard Vincent had been struggling against Chaos as of late, who _else_ could tell? It was a thought he didn't care to entertain.

He sighed quietly to himself, his arms folded atop his knees and his chin resting upon them. He stared down blankly into the grass, trying to order his thoughts and push Chaos as far to the back of his mind as possible. It was usually fairly easy unless there was something that had excited the demon's attention, but over the last week or so he'd been finding it increasingly difficult. He felt as if there was a constant battle being waged inside his skull, one that he seemed to be on the verge of losing.

He was about to close his eyes against the pounding in his head when a sudden quick movement just to his left caught his attention. It was very slight, and a normal man would never have noticed, but with his enhanced senses it was impossible to miss. He could hear the blades of grass begin to rustle and quickly turned his head, his red eyes locking onto the form of a very large cockroach as it skittered through the field.

Instantly captivated, he tilted his head and followed it with predatory eyes as it crossed about a foot in front of him. He could feel Chaos rising up within him again, its demonic desires quickly back to the forefront of his consciousness. Vincent wanted to look away but found he couldn't. His mind was suddenly assaulted with a near-uncontrollable urge to reach out with his claw and grab the creature, squash it between his fingers, then devour its ruined body. Shaken but unable to break the spell, he watched as it continued its journey, oblivious to the danger. Though the bile was already rising in the back of his throat at the thought of what he was about to do, he felt himself slowly begin to lift his arm and reach toward it. He involuntarily licked his lips and his vision began to go red with demonic desire.

Just as he began to reach out, his muscles trembling as he fought against his own body, a heavy black boot slammed down on top of the cockroach with a loud crunch. Vincent blinked, startled out of his trance, and rapidly shook his head to clear it. A moment later, he followed the boot up the long, lean leg of its owner until he was gazing into the green Mako eyes of his son. When had he gotten to his feet? Vincent had never even seen him move… Sephiroth was frowning severely, though there was an unmistakable concern mixed into the expression.

"You have not heard a thing I've said, have you?" he asked with irritation, though for just a moment Vincent could have sworn he heard a touch of fear in the swordsman's deep voice.

Vincent swallowed hard, lowering his eyes in shame. He realized that Sephiroth had noticed his fascination with the insect and likely knew exactly what he'd been about to do. To make matters worse, Sephiroth had actually been trying to talk to him for once, and he'd been completely ignoring him in favor of Chaos' vile instincts. He felt his face grow a bit warm, staring down at his arms and unable to meet the other man's piercing gaze. The shame that washed over him was almost overwhelming, but it did serve to sever the last of the demon's influence… at least for the moment.

"I'm sorry… no," he quietly admitted as Sephiroth returned to sitting beside him after wiping off the bottom of his boot in the tall grass. "What were you saying?"

"How long have you been having this much difficulty controlling yourself?" Sephiroth demanded instead of repeating his words, though his tone was not unkind. Vincent cringed, his fears confirmed.

"I…"

"What seems to be the problem?" Sephiroth went on when he was unable to continue. Vincent could feel his eyes burning into him. "Is this happening often? Does my mother know what is going on?"

Vincent cringed again at the barrage of questions, trying to curl into himself and disappear within the folds of his cloak. He could feel his body begin to tremble, and it had nothing to do with Chaos or the cold. It was fear… If Sephiroth had so easily noticed his increasing battles with the hated demon after only one afternoon together, he was terrified when he considered what Lucrecia must see when she looked at him. Had she noticed his increasing struggle as well? She hadn't been acting any differently toward him other than how upset she'd been over his disappearance, so he had allowed himself to believe that everything was all right. Perhaps she really hadn't realized there was an issue. But how could he _do_ that to her, he scolded himself, squeezing his eyes shut against the pain. If he allowed her to feel secure around him when he was in fact so close to losing control… she would never realize the danger. He would be no better than Hojo, lulling her into a false sense of security until it was too late.

"She knows about Chaos," he said weakly, his voice strained with tension. He pulled his cloak more closely around his shivering body, feeling almost as vile as the demon itself. Or was he indeed more foul for trying to live as a normal man among the innocent?

"I _know _that," Sephiroth snorted, still glaring at him. "But you…" He paused and sighed, and Vincent was surprised to feel his hand come to rest on his shoulder. He slowly lifted his head and turned to face his son, surprised to find that his harsh expression had softened. "You seem to be having a more difficult time than usual keeping it from taking over… Is something wrong?"

Vincent shook his head but sighed miserably. "I… don't know. There has been much on my mind, and… perhaps I am just tired." The excuse sounded lame even to his own ears, but it was the best he could offer.

Sephiroth eventually lowered his hand but continued to watch him closely. "I understand," he said to Vincent's surprise, climbing back to his feet and taking a few steps closer to the stream. "Much has happened these last few months… I, too, find myself struggling at times. But when I am at my weakest…" He sighed and kept his back to Vincent, becoming visibly tense before he spoke again. "I have learned to stop trying to hide it and be honest with Aeris about how I am feeling, so that she can help me. _You _are still hiding…"

For someone who didn't express his emotions well or spend much time socializing with others, Sephiroth was amazingly perceptive when he chose to be. His words cut through Vincent as if he'd used his sword instead of his voice, because he realized instantly that they were true. He _was_ hiding… Lucrecia may have known a fair amount about Chaos, but she had never seen him actively struggling for control, something he had been very careful to prevent. At the time, he'd felt like he was protecting her from having to witness something so awful, from having to worry… but was he instead endangering both she and his own sanity?

Vincent slowly climbed to his feet, gathering his equipment and preparing to continue their mission without another word. Sephiroth kept his back to him as if he could sense the anguish that raced through his mind and didn't know what else to say. Vincent longed to tell him that he was wrong, that everything was under control… that his mother was perfectly safe with him. But both of them knew how much of a lie that would have been. He had once promised his son, while he was in the midst of his insanity, that he would never be lied to again… and it was a promise he intended to keep.

"Are you ready?" Sephiroth finally said with a brief glance over his shoulder, his expression once again unreadable. Vincent nodded stiffly, checking to be sure his gun was fully loaded and wrapping his cloak more tightly around his thin frame. The chill that remained had nothing to do with his damp clothing, radiating from the cold fear that gripped his insides with its icy fingers.

Wordlessly, Sephiroth began to walk away from the stream, leaving Vincent to follow behind him. He found he barely had the energy to put one foot in front of the other, desperately hoping they were nearly done dealing with the mutated wolves and would soon be able to head back to the base. But would he find peace even at home? He wanted nothing more than to return to Lucrecia, even as a voice in the back of his mind reminded him that every moment they spent together placed her in grave danger.

* * *

((**Author's Notes: **How the tables have turned! Suddenly, Sephiroth is looking like the sane one with his act together. While Vincent's gotta be proud to see that, I bet it still stings a little, heh. Vincent's thought about the "damned nosey doctor in Mideel" is a reference to the physician who saw to Avalanche after their battle with Ultimate WEAPON in Irony of Fate when Sephiroth was nearly killed. I'd like to take a moment to give a shout-out to my awesome writer friends over at the UF group on Facebook, to whom I dedicate our fallen friend, the squished cockroach. Thanks for the inspiration guys, lol. As always, I super appreciate the reviews and look forward to hearing what everyone thinks! I am doing my best to update often, since it seems this story is a bit popular. I'm pleasantly surprised! _~ JenesisX_ ))


	7. Chapter Six: Tension

**Chapter Six: Tension**

When Lucrecia finally returned from her errands, her arms full of books and other purchases she'd made, she was a bit surprised to see that Vincent was already home. Then again, she _had _stayed out a lot longer than expected. After spending quite a while at the library choosing fresh reading material, she'd found a bench along the harbor and settled in to begin a particularly interesting memoir, enjoying the beautiful weather and quickly losing herself in the story. While she didn't mind living in virtual darkness for Vincent's sake, sometimes she needed to get out and take in the sunlight and daytime activities of the base. When she had finally decided to continue on her shopping trip she'd run into Aeris along Main Street, planting flowers with two of the former Turks. They'd talked for a while, and Lucrecia was thrilled to learn that Sephiroth had accompanied Vincent on his task.

She was grinning for the rest of the afternoon as she bought a few items for their basement apartment, still determined to make it less dreary and more like a proper home. She was convinced it would make Vincent feel more normal and alive, even if he'd likely never react to any of it. His apartment in Midgar all those years before had been nearly barren aside from basic furnishings, but at least it hadn't felt like a dungeon where he'd tried to hide himself from the rest of humanity. Lucrecia had so many wonderful memories of that apartment, and she smiled as she thought of all the new ones they were creating in their new surroundings. It really didn't matter where they were, she knew, only that they were together.

She set her bags down on a small table just inside the door, her eyes trailing over Vincent's long red cloak and noticing several large, dark stains upon it that had not been present before. She frowned, worried that it was blood yet again. She hoped he hadn't been injured, making a mental note to wash it for him later. The cloak was old, tattered and well-worn, and Vincent never seemed to care what condition it was in. But Lucrecia did, and she'd made it her mission to try to keep it somewhat presentable. She didn't understand why he insisted on wrapping himself in the dreadful thing, as if he were trying to hide away from the world. But if it made him comfortable, she accepted it as part of him… as long as it at least remained laundered so it wasn't covered in blood and the gods only knew what else.

As she removed her shoes and crossed the room, wondering where Vincent was, she heard the shower running. She supposed monster hunting was dirty work, not that she had any such experience. Shrugging to herself, she retrieved the book she'd started earlier and headed for the couch, settling in to read as she waited for him.

She quickly became so engrossed that she lost track of time as she often did, almost failing to notice when the bathroom door opened and Vincent emerged. She closed her book and set it aside, grinning widely and climbing to her feet with intentions of throwing her arms around him in a ferocious hug. She paused after taking a few steps toward him, however, a quiet gasp escaping her lips. He looked utterly exhausted, and several long, deep scratches ran from his right shoulder down toward his chest. He seemed surprised to find her there and quickly attempted to slip his shirt on over his head. She wasn't sure if he was trying to cover the wound, or all of the disfiguring scars carved into his body. They were still difficult for her to look at, but she had quickly learned not to react or allow her eyes to linger. This time, however, her eyes were drawn to the fresh injury, and Lucrecia was instantly at his side. She reached out and took a hold of his forearm, preventing him from covering himself.

"Oh my gods, you're hurt!" she exclaimed with worry, leaning in to take a closer look at the wound. It didn't appear very serious and was no longer bleeding, but it still looked painful and angry. She frowned, hating how he so often placed himself in harm's way. He seemed to have little regard for his own safety at times, something that concerned her greatly.

"It's minor and already healing," he quickly assured her, gently removing his arm from her grasp and quickly pulling on his shirt. "I am fine."

Lucrecia frowned doubtfully, studying his face and noting the way he was avoiding her eyes. He seemed distant, almost cold, and combined with how exhausted he appeared she was instantly worried about him. Something more had clearly happened that afternoon, but she already knew she'd likely never be able to pry the information out of him unless he felt like telling her. It was so frustrating, how he would often clam up and refuse to share his thoughts and feelings with her. At times he could be quite open and honest… but there were moments when she felt he was a stranger whose mind was millions of miles away. She fought to withhold a sigh, shaking her head slightly. She didn't want to start an argument, not when she'd missed him so badly.

Instead she stepped forward and wrapped her slender arms around his neck, moving in close against his body. He seemed a bit surprised and remained tense for a moment, but before long she felt him exhale with relief as his arms found their way around her.

"I missed you," she said quietly, aware of what an understatement that was. She hoped that he was as well. Time spent apart was almost physically painful, even when much of their time together remained awkward. It had only been two months, she reminded herself… After all they had been through, she knew it would just take time.

"I missed you too," he replied, resting his chin atop her head and tightening his embrace. "I am relieved to be home with you and out of the sun."

Lucrecia smiled and lifted her head to meet his eyes. He was much less guarded now, though the weariness was still visible. "I heard from Aeris that you took Sephiroth with you today."

Vincent nodded, one corner of his mouth twitching upward. "I thought that would please you, my love."

"I'm so glad you two spent some time together… even if it _was_ killing monsters. Did everything go all right? And how did you get hurt?"

"It went very well. I believe we've gotten rid of almost all of the creatures that were harassing the town. Sephiroth and I work well together."

"And your shoulder…?"

"I allowed one of the creatures to get too close."

Lucrecia realized that was as much of an answer as she was going to get, briefly chewing on her lower lip to avoid becoming frustrated with him. Vincent had never been very talkative, but after thirty years separated he was often nearly mute. Being shy herself and still trying to adjust to everything that had happened between them, Lucrecia often lacked the courage and conversation skills to draw things out of him, and she frowned at the awkward silence that hung in the air even as they continued to embrace. Their relationship was incredible, yet often felt so conflicted. There was such an odd mixture of closeness and distance, of familiarity and strangeness, that at times Lucrecia was unsure of exactly where they stood. They couldn't bear to be apart for even a few hours, yet when they were together she found herself worrying that Vincent would prefer to be alone.

"I picked up a few things for the house," she finally said, more to fill the silence than anything else. She stepped back from him a bit reluctantly and crossed the room to where she'd left her purchases, rummaging through one of the bags as she spoke. "I found some curtains for the window, and got some cleaning supplies so I can get rid of more of the dust and cobwebs."

She could feel Vincent watching her closely, though he didn't move from where he stood and offered no comment. She hoped he wasn't offended by her desire to improve their living quarters, realizing he would never tell her even if he was. She thought it more likely that he was simply indifferent, willing to allow her to make any changes she wished if they made her happy. That was just his way. He always put himself second to the needs of the one he loved most. It was endearing and infuriating at the same time. It made it so hard to know how to make him happy…

As she dug through one of the bags searching through her purchases, Lucrecia suddenly yanked back her right hand as the edge of something sharp sliced into her index finger. "Ouch!" she exclaimed, holding her injured hand in the other as a thin trail of blood began to run from the small cut. "Darn it, I'm so clumsy," she muttered to herself, frowning at the injury.

Vincent was immediately at her side, leaning over her shoulder to take a gentle hold of her wounded hand. "Are you all right?" he asked, studying her bleeding finger to gage how serious a cut it was. She was touched by his concern for her, instantly forgetting the pain and filled with an indescribable warmth. To know he cared so deeply for her would never cease to affect her so strongly.

"There was a sharp edge on something in the bag, that's all," she said, retrieving a tissue from her pocket. As she pressed it to the side of her finger to stop the bleeding, Vincent's grip on her hand suddenly tightened painfully. She winced, about to say something when she turned and looked up into his face. Her eyes widened and her heart began to race at what she saw.

Vincent was staring intensely at the thin trail of blood that ran down the side of her finger, his eyes glazed and unfocused. Their red coloring seemed just a bit deeper, and his features were set with visible tension. Through his grip, she could feel that he was trembling, and his pale complexion had taken on a frighteningly grayish-purple hue. Lucrecia swallowed hard, stunned to silence and unable to free herself from his hold. She had never been afraid in his presence before, feeling tears begin to burn her eyes. She remained completely still, paralyzed by fear and uncertainty and unable to compute what was happening to her lover right before her eyes.

Then as quickly as it began, Vincent seemed to shake himself out of whatever trance had taken its hold and quickly dropped her hand, taking several hurried steps backwards and staring at her with wide eyes. He appeared alarmed and badly shaken, turning his back and quickly crossing the room as if he needed to get as far away from her as possible.

"I will get you a bandage," she thought she heard him mumble as he entered the bathroom. She stared after him, holding onto her wounded hand as her heart continued to race and her stomach churned. What had just happened? Vincent had been himself, though he seemed tired and a bit evasive about the events of the day, and then suddenly he had looked so intense and frightening that Lucrecia's legs continued to tremble beneath her. She had never seen him react in such a way before. He was so different than he had been thirty years before, and he definitely had strange habits and mannerisms she was still doing her best to accept as part of him, but this was different. This was _scary_…

A danger hung in the air, making it difficult for her to breathe as she fought to calm herself. When Vincent failed to emerge after several long minutes, Lucrecia timidly approached the open door and cautiously peered inside. Vincent was standing at the sink, one hand braced on either side and leaning heavily against it with his head bowed. He was paler than usual and breathing heavily, his hair masking most of his face. She froze and watched him, gathering her courage before inching to his side and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Are you okay, love?" she said quietly, hating how nervous and uncertain she sounded. She saw him exhale sharply before lifting his head and turning to face her. His eyes were heavy with shame and his cheeks colored a bit with embarrassment as he hesitantly met her concerned gaze.

"Yes… I'm sorry," he said, his deep voice nearly a whisper. "I… it was… the blood. I can't…"

He finally stood upright and glanced toward her wounded hand, and Lucrecia immediately realized what had happened. He had told her how the sight and smell of blood excited Chaos' instincts and desires within him, though she'd never witnessed it before. She felt terrible for not remembering sooner, though at the same time the realization of how something so simple could stir the demon living inside her lover caused a chill to run down her spine.

"Of course," she forced herself to say, as if it was the most normal of things to discuss. "I'm sorry, Vincent, I forgot… The bleeding's stopped now. Everything's okay."

He looked so sad and ashamed of himself that Lucrecia felt nearly desperate to comfort him and put the disturbing incident behind them as quickly as possible. She didn't want anything to cause her lover pain and could not bear to let anything come between them or cast a shadow over their rekindled relationship. She took a firm hold of his arm and led him out of the bathroom before slipping her arms around him and pressing her body against his. She wanted to show him that what had happened would never change how she felt for him, denying how frightened she had been just moments before. No, she would _not_ be afraid of him. It simply could not be allowed. Lucrecia never wanted to live in fear of her partner again…

"You must think me so vile…" Vincent said softly, his arms around her hesitant as if he didn't think he deserved to hold her.

"No, never!" she exclaimed, squeezing him tightly and hoping he could feel the love and devotion she felt for him. "You couldn't help it… You are so strong to be able to control it as well as you do."

Vincent tensed and seemed about to say something, then sighed heavily and simply held her close as if he was drowning and she was the only one would could save him. She could feel the desperation radiating from him as she stretched up to kiss his lips, wondering why he seemed so out of sorts as of late and what she could do to ease his mind. Unable to find the words, Lucrecia poured all of her feelings into the contact, pleased when he began to kiss her back and relax in her arms. She felt as desperate to show him how much he was loved as she did to put her own worries aside. She knew it was not wise to continue hiding from their problems and denying that anything was wrong, and she realized that eventually they would need to have a serious talk. But at that moment neither of them was strong enough, and she settled for melting into his arms and allowing the passion between them to push all of her concerns for their future aside.

* * *

((**Author's Notes:** Well, finally, eh? Sorry this update took so long! My health had been quite sketchy for a while, then Diablo 3 came out, and I totally lost my mojo. I couldn't seem to get back on track with this, or much of anything. Anyway, a trip to the New Jersey shore with family yesterday seemed to breathe some life into me, and I was just feeling inspired and motivated. So here we go. I will do my best to start updating again more often! Next chapter will feature Sephiroth and Aeris discussing the day's events, and some ramifications for Vincent and Lucrecia avoiding talking about what's going on with him. Thank you so much for the favorites, follows, and especially the wonderful reviews! I have the best readers out there and love to hear from you all, so please take a moment and share your thoughts. Peace! _~ JenesisX_))


	8. Chapter Seven: Concern

**Chapter Seven: Concern**

Sephiroth braced himself outside the door to his apartment, pausing for just a moment before entering. It was quiet on the other side of the door, but he knew the tranquility would end the moment he opened it. He had been gone for far longer than was acceptable to his companion, and he fully expected to hear all about it. One corner of his mouth turned upward in a slight smirk as he placed a gloved hand on the doorknob.

As expected, the reaction was immediate. There was a loud thump followed by heavy footsteps pounding across the wooden floor from the direction of the master bedroom. A high-pitched whine filled the air as the massive form of Sephiroth's dog turned the corner and tore across the living room to greet him. His tail was wagging furiously as he pushed his wet nose firmly into his master's hand before turning and crossing the room to a large box of toys. He quickly selected a green plush chocobo and grabbed it in his strong jaws, jogging back to Sephiroth and proudly displaying the possession. It was not a gift, as Blade never actually dropped the toy or agreed to release his grip upon it during his greetings. But for some reason the presentation was a compulsion the canine simply had to act out any time his beloved human returned to their home. It didn't matter how long or short the absence, his reaction was always highly spirited and enthusiastic.

Blade continued to pace back and forth at full speed, still whining even with his mouth full of plush. His brown eyes were shining with pleasure and his normally upright ears rested back nearly against his skull. Every so often he would brush up against Sephiroth as he shrugged out of his trench coat and hung his sword on the hook just inside the door, but he was far too excited to remain still for petting. The swordsman could not help but be amused, secretly adoring the way his new companion so openly adored him. The creature was highly illogical and wore his emotions on his collar, but it was endearing and often quite entertaining as well. Sephiroth had never wanted a pet before, but ever since finding the homeless Great Dane he had come to realize how much they added to one's life. Between Blade and his temperamental chocobo, Nightmare, his existence had definitely been enriched since settling in Junon Harbor nearly nine months before.

"It sounds like somebody really missed you!"

Sephiroth turned from unloading his equipment and found Aeris crossing the room, carefully dodging Blade's thick tail as she made her way around the pacing canine. When she reached his side, she wrapped her slender arms around him in a tight embrace. She didn't seem to care that he was a bit sweaty and likely didn't smell very good after hours of slaughtering mutated wolves, and Sephiroth hugged her back tightly. Blade was quick to attempt to squeeze his head between them, making a plaintive sound that made it clear he was jealous. Aeris giggled as she took a step backward, shaking her head at the large dog and playfully placing her hands on her hips.

"We can share him, can't we?"

Blade only whined in response, throwing his weight against his favorite human and leaning against him heavily. Sephiroth smirked and took a moment to scratch his back, watching as the dog arched his body upward and shivered with pleasure. A moment later, Blade trotted off and laid down in his bed, happily getting to work on a large rawhide bone he'd been too depressed to chew while his owner was away. Sephiroth headed for the couch and sat down, beginning to unlace his boots as Aeris joined him.

"How did your day with the Turks go?" he asked her, glad to be able to remove his footwear. It had been far too long since he'd been out of the base on a mission, and he admitted to himself that he was actually tired. The concerns that had been weighing heavily on his mind did not help matters, and he could feel the beginnings of a tension headache forming behind his eyes.

He could practically hear Aeris grinning as he unlaced his second boot and set the pair off to the side of the couch. "Great!" she said, shifting over closer to him and laying one of her hands over his. "We actually had a good time, and they seemed to enjoy planting all of the flowers around town. Especially Rude."

Sephiroth arched a silver eyebrow as he leaned back into the cushions, stifling a yawn as he got comfortable beside his wife. "Really…"

"Yep! He's got a green thumb and really seemed to enjoy himself. I had to keep fighting not to giggle when I looked at him… He was so serious about it. Elena seemed a bit nervous, but she perked up after we met Yuffie, Tseng and Reno for lunch. She's really sweet."

"Vincent was a bit worried about leaving Yuffie in charge of them. I assume nothing catastrophic happened?""Oh, they seemed fine together. Reno kept teasing her, though, and I couldn't decide if it was like an annoying brother or a boy with a crush."

Sephiroth blinked, the idea of the latter highly disturbing. Aeris giggled at the stunned expression he worse, shaking her head in amusement.

"I think all of them are going to fit in just fine around here. Tseng isn't going to do anything to jeopardize their sanctuary here while Elena is pregnant, and the others seem to do whatever he says. They're harmless, and good workers, too!"

"Hmph." Sephiroth remained undecided on how he felt about taking in the former Turks after they had fled Shin-ra Incorporated. He still didn't trust them and would continue to keep a close eye on them, but Aeris' belief that they would not cause any trouble did ease his mind a little.

"And what about you and Vincent? Did everything go all right?"

"Yes, our mission was a success…" he began, frowning with hesitation. He was extremely concerned after witnessing the obvious difficulty Vincent seemed to be having containing Chaos, and knew he needed to tell her. But at the same time it felt as if he was betraying his father by revealing something he did not want anyone to know. He could feel Aeris' eyes upon him as he stared down at her small hand resting upon his, struggling with his decision.

"But…?"

He sighed, turning to look into her warm green eyes. He could feel the faint brush of her mind against his, her concern and affection for him spreading throughout his body like a comforting blanket. Sometimes the unusual connection between them disturbed him and left him feeling exposed and vulnerable, but more often than not he was grateful for it and comforted to know how well she understood him. That she already seemed to know something was bothering him made what he had to say much less difficult.

"He… Something is wrong with him," Sephiroth began awkwardly, feeling Aeris squeeze his hand to encourage him to continue. "Something is not right…"

"How so?" she asked gently, tilting her head as she maintained eye contact. Early in their relationship, he had been intimidated by the way she seemed to be able to gaze into his soul and would quickly look away, but now it relaxed him and made it easier to share his thoughts. Even if he didn't want to, he had a feeling she would soon know what was on his mind anyway. Whatever caused the near-telepathic bond between them had removed the walls Sephiroth spent his entire life building around his true self, and there were no secrets left between them. When he was with Aeris, he could finally be himself without fear of being judged and rejected. Coming home to her brought a peace to the swordsman he had never imagined possible, even when there was something so serious on his mind. Together, he felt they could handle almost anything.

"It is Chaos," he finally managed to continue, his usual frown deepening as he spoke the demon's name. "He seems… almost unable to contain it. I saw him nearly transform after a battle due to a slight injury, and perhaps the exposure to blood. Afterwards, he did not seem able to recover as he normally does, and he continued to act as though he was being influenced and may lose control again at any moment…"

"Oh no," Aeris nearly whispered, biting her lower lip. "I… I think may have witnessed something similar the day the Turks arrived. But I didn't think much of it because Tseng and Elena's story must have reminded him so much of what happened to he and your mother. It made sense that it would upset him to hear. I didn't realize it was something more frequent…"

"Do you suppose… learning of their situation and perhaps… Hojo's death… has upset him enough that he is now unable to control himself?" It was a terrifying thought, one he'd been hesitant to voice. He had been haunted all day by concern for Vincent and his mother, and if anyone would understand and know what to do, it was Aeris.

"Maybe…" she said slowly, looking thoughtful. "I guess that could be stressful enough to affect him like this. But I think it's more than that… He's seemed on edge as of late, even more so than usual. Something is really bothering him… I noticed it, too, but wasn't sure if I ought to say anything. He's such a private person."

"I don't think my mother realizes what is going on, either. When I asked him if she knew he was having difficulty controlling Chaos, he became evasive and refused to discuss it. I am afraid she is in danger and unaware of it…"

"Vincent loves your mother more than life itself, Seph," Aeris said, shaking her head. "He would never do anything to hurt her, you know that."

"But would Chaos?"

The question hung in the air between them for long moments, only the sound of Blade's chewing breaking the silence. Sephiroth could feel the shared concern radiating from his wife, slightly comforted to know that she felt the same and he was not overreacting or alone with his fears. Finally, she lifted a hand and rested it softly against his cheek, instantly easing much of his rising tension. His eyes began to close as he leaned into her touch, the stress flowing out of him and the pain in his head beginning to ease. He was amazed yet again by the power of the connection between them, the effect she had upon him stronger than any force on the Planet.

"Do you want me to talk to her?" Aeris asked quietly, watching his closely. "I agree with you, from what Vincent has told me I don't think that she knows very much about Chaos other than very basic information…. And I think he's been very good at hiding it from her so far. I can try to find out if everything is okay between them, and if she's noticed anything strange. She may be just as worried as we are and need someone to talk to."

Sephiroth forced his eyes opened and nodded, suddenly exhausted and wanting nothing more than to curl up in his bed for a long nap. "That is a good idea… Perhaps everything is fine and I am worrying for nothing. I am sure she would be happy to meet with you regardless."

Aeris smiled and rose to her feet, though he instantly sensed that she did not believe his half-hearted attempt to dismiss their fears. He didn't either, though he desperately hoped what he had witnessed was an isolated event and that everything between his parents was actually fine. He could not bear to think that his mother might be in danger again, not when she had just returned to his life. He admitted that he was concerned for Vincent as well, though those feelings were far harder for him to accept or understand.

"Come on, Seph, you look like you're about to pass out," she said, shaking him from his thoughts as she once again seemed to read his mind. She took a hold of his hand and tugged lightly, and he allowed her to help him to his feet and lead him toward their bedroom. Blade was instantly at his side, intent on joining him wherever he went. "Why don't you lay down and rest, and I'll see about making us some dinner? Then I'll call and set up a lunch date with your mom… I'm sure we can sort things out and everything will be all right."

Sephiroth nodded as he followed her, badly wanting to believe her and share her optimism. But as he climbed into bed with his dog stretched out at his side, he couldn't shake the feeling of dread that seemed to hang in the air around him. Something was amiss, and he knew with uncomfortable certainty that it would soon surface.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_Some time after midnight…_

Lucrecia woke with a start and bolted into a sitting position, a cold sweat covering her body and goose bumps running the length of her bare limbs. She had been having a nightmare, one in which Vincent was gone and she couldn't find him no matter how hard she looked. She quickly turned her head to the left and squinted into the darkness, her heart racing, already knowing what she was about to discover.

It wasn't a nightmare. Her lover was once again missing from their bed, his place beside her as alarmingly empty as a vacant grave.

Tears burned her eyes as she stared at the place he should have been, terrifying thoughts racing through her mind. She felt nauseous, swallowing hard against the bile rising in her throat. Proof that his disappearance just one night prior was not an isolated event was right before her eyes, and she fought to understand what was happening to the man she loved and trusted. Where had he gone in the middle of the night again? Everything had seemed fine between them when Lucrecia fell asleep in his arms several hours before. There were the usual moments of awkwardness that evening, but she assumed that was normal for a couple getting reacquainted after over thirty years apart. The love and passion between them was as strong as ever. But if that were true, why had he quietly left her side once more?

The thought of where he might be and why was too much to bear. Lucrecia lay back down and curled into a ball, wrapping the blankets tightly around her body as she began to sob in despair. The loneliness she felt in that moment was a crushing force, tearing at her heart with its cruel talons as unwanted images flashed before her mind's eye. All she wanted was for Vincent to return home. But when he did, she was terrified of what might happen to their relationship.

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((**Author's Notes: **As promised, I didn't take forever to update this time! Thank you all SO MUCH for all the wonderful reviews for Chapter Six. As I said before, I have the most amazing readers out there! Much love and gratitude for the favs and follows as well. Now that the numbers show when the fic is listed, I appreciate them so much more as I imagine a high amount helps encourage others to check it out. Anyway, Sephiroth and Aeris are on to Vincent and his issues, and Lucrecia can't stay in denial when the problem is right in front of her again. I liked working with the contrast between the two couples… Seph and Aeris are so comfortable together and have come so far, while Vincent and Lucrecia are still struggling just to learn how to talk to each other again. Vincent can't hide his problems forever. Or can he? He _is_ awfully sneaky and determined not to lose his love by scaring her off. Next chapter, he attempts to avoid a confrontation with Lucrecia over his absences, but may end up in one with someone else instead! SOMEone is going to be on the receiving end of a visit from Chaos, and it ain't gonna be pretty. So stay tuned as the plot thickens. Thanks again! ~ JenesisX ))


	9. Chapter Eight: Despair

**Chapter Eight: Despair**

Vincent stumbled off the lift and back into the base above Junon Harbor town, his aching legs trembling beneath him. He hoped no one noticed him as he slipped back through the barracks and out onto Main Street. The guard at the lift had given him a very strange look, but his tired glare had prevented any questioning. Most people were afraid to speak to Vincent under normal circumstances, and he was quite sure he currently looked like hell. Every fiber of his being ached and burned, and the exhaustion that had taken hold of him made each step he took an enormous effort.

It had happened again. After nearly losing control to Chaos several times during the previous day, once right in front of his beloved, Vincent had once again awakened already in the midst of a transformation. Once more, he had been able to slip out of bed and into the night before the demon completely overtook him. He had lost control shortly thereafter and could remember nothing else until he awoke just before sunrise, several miles from Junon Harbor and curled up in a thick pile of brush.

During the walk back, each step he took a struggle as his entire body screamed in pain, Vincent's mind was racing with the repercussions of what had happened. Surely Lucrecia had noticed his absence within a short time, and it had been only one day since the last episode over which they had argued. How could he face her and try to explain why he had done it _again_ when he knew how much the previous time had upset her? He could not bear to tell her the truth, certain she would leave him in fear if she knew just what was sleeping beside her. But he could not force himself to lie to her again, either. It left him with precious few options, and Vincent's mind was far too tired and clouded by pain and worry to think clearly.

When he reached the point where he could either head straight and return home to face Lucrecia, or turn left and seek refuge within his security office, he lowered his head in shame and chose the latter option. He knew she had to be frantic with worry by now and likely furious with him as well. He realized the right thing to do was to go home and talk to her, to try to explain how much difficulty he'd been having and beg her not to leave him to struggle alone. But at that moment, his entire body aching and weary, his thoughts full of fear and uncertainty, Vincent Valentine was a coward. He wrapped his tattered cloak tightly around himself, chilled despite the warmth of the morning sun, desperate to reach his office and lock himself inside until he felt stronger and more in control. Despite having had free reign yet again, he could still feel the dark presence of Chaos casting its shadow across his mind. He fought against a rising panic, terrified that he was in danger of losing control permanently and would soon be completely consumed by the demon.

Vincent felt so vile, so unworthy of life let alone love, as he reached Security Headquarters and quickly entered his small office at the end of the hall. He shut and locked the door behind him, leaving the light off and not wanting anyone to know he was there. He slumped into the chair behind his desk, closing his eyes and groaning miserably. Vincent felt trapped without the possibility of ever finding his way out, any hope he had entertained about the future buried beneath his self loathing.

In his mind, he could see Lucrecia pacing about their apartment, sick with worry. Did she think he was hurt and unable to return to her? Did she suspect he was up to no good, sneaking around behind her back in the middle of the night and unwilling to explain why? He wanted so badly to go to her, to try to explain, to hold her in his arms and beg for her forgiveness and acceptance. But the thought of losing her was so terrifying that he was unable to move. There was no way she could accept how weak he was, how dangerous he had become… Who could possibly love a man whose humanity was slowly being eaten away by a bloodthirsty demon? Perhaps Hojo's intentions had been a success after all.

Vincent knew he would die if she left him again. But as unstable as he had become, he also knew that remaining at his side only placed her in danger. That was unacceptable as well, and his head pounded as he tried to understand why he could no longer seem to reign in Chaos's thoughts and desires. It was as if the harder he tried to fight the demon and hide its presence away from the world, the harder it struggled to break free and destroy everything he'd fought to protect. Lucrecia knew a little about Chaos and its foul desires, but she did not know the extent to which it influenced Vincent's thoughts, or how hard he had to battle to keep it from overtaking him. If she did, he was certain it would destroy any safety she thought she had found in his arms, and their future together along with it.

_She deserves so much better than I can ever give her…_

Vincent folded his arms and laid his head down upon them on his desk, feeling as if he wanted to cry and never stop. But the tears wouldn't come, his head pounding in protest as his battered mind raced. He and Lucrecia were finally together to live the rest of their lives as a couple, but Chaos was determined to destroy it. Why did everything he loved always get taken away from him or ruined before his eyes? He had always felt as if he'd been born cursed, a foul being no one could ever truly love or accept. It was the only explanation he had for much of his difficult life, the only thing that made sense. Lucrecia had been able to look past it and his awkwardness to see the man who tried so hard to hide himself away from the world, but he was certain learning exactly how much Hojo had changed him would be too much even for her to accept.

He ground his teeth as he felt Chaos reach out and latch onto his sorrow, mocking him and attempting to use his weakness to emerge again. He cursed himself, cursed Hojo, and cursed the demon as he struggled to slam the lid on its intrusive desires. He hoped there was a hell, and that Hojo was currently burning in eternal anguish. But if there was such a place, he feared he would join him there when he died… After he had failed Lucrecia and their son for so long it was exactly what he deserved, with or without Chaos adding to his evil.

Vincent slowly lifted his head and glanced at the clock on the wall. In just one hour, he was supposed to meet with Cloud to discuss the Turks and other recent security matters. He also wanted to speak to their leader about his treatment of Sephiroth, hoping to help his son gain further responsibilities on the base. He knew he was in no condition for such a meeting, much less a potential confrontation, but he'd already had to cancel twice due to other matters he'd been needed to handle. Perhaps it would take his mind off of his problems for a while, allowing him to focus on something other than Chaos and his troubled relationship. And if he was honest, it was an excuse not to return home as well.

He glanced at the phone on his desk, momentarily considering calling Lucrecia since he had left home without his PHS or any other belongings… though he'd at least managed to grab his cloak and slip into his boots before leaving this time. He continued to stare at it but could not force himself to reach out and place the call. He knew she must be nearly hysterical by now, closing his eyes against the pain images of his lover in tears slammed into his heart. Vincent hated himself so intensely at that moment that the temptation to end his own life as he'd so often entertained in the past came rushing back. Perhaps killing himself would be the best solution for everyone after all. It would end his pain and remove the danger Chaos presented to others, allow Lucrecia to move on with her life… and Sephiroth? At least he would no longer be ashamed that he had a demonic creature calling himself his father…

Vincent found his normal hand reaching for the place where the Death Penalty should have been, frowning with both disappointment and disgust at himself when his fingers instead brushed against nothingness. Was he really so weak? In his heart, he knew that ending his life was the coward's way out, something that would cause those he loved far more pain than it might relieve even though they would finally be out of danger. But it was so tempting, to finally be at peace and end his battle with Chaos once and for all, to enter into an eternal sleep from which he could not be awakened… And if he instead went to hell, it was only what he deserved.

Vincent sighed and lowered his head again, tears burning his eyes as he pictured Lucrecia waiting for him at home and wondering what had gone wrong. He knew he would have to return to her and face what he had done eventually, but at the moment he was far too weak and tired. He closed his eyes and tried to rest before the time for his meeting with Cloud arrived, telling himself that remaining apart from his lover was the best decision for both of them and not the action of a desperate man afraid to face the truth.

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((**Author's Notes: **Depressing, huh? This fic is about Vincent, so some good old fashioned angst and self loathing is to be expected, hehe. He's only making a bad situation worse by avoiding Lucrecia and leaving her to worry, but the poor guy is so afraid of losing her and not thinking very clearly either. Seems like a GREAT time to go and confront Cloud! I was going to include their meeting in this chapter, but decided that this scene ought to stand alone in order to have a more emotional impact (at least I hope it does). I apologize about that, but it really _is _coming up next. Will the meeting be between Cloud and Vincent, or Cloud and Chaos? That is the question. Good times will be had by all! Well, perhaps not. Anyway, thanks again for your support and the lovely reviews. Transformation is now leading the way in review count for me, even surpassing Irony of Fate! Please Favorite and Alert this story if you are enjoying it, too. All it takes is a click, and it makes me so happy. Til next time, cheers! ~ JenesisX ))


	10. Chapter Nine: Confrontation

**Chapter Nine: Confrontation**

Cloud glanced up from his computer monitor just as Vincent silently slipped through the doorway of his office. He blinked, having forgotten they'd rescheduled their meeting for that morning, but supposed it didn't really matter. If he was honest with himself, he hadn't really had all that much to do as of late. The effort to recruit more members for their cause almost ran itself as word got out, with new refugees and rebels showing up at the lift almost daily. All he had to do was help organize them into departments and make sure their defenses remained strong. Shin-ra Incorporated remained distracted trying to recover from the loss of so many top employees along with their military base, however, and hadn't so much as made a peep. He knew they wouldn't remain silent forever, but for the moment all was well within Junon Harbor.

Cloud turned away from his screen, hoping Vincent hadn't noticed that he was only using it to instant message Tifa as she opened the Bulldog Tavern for the day. He didn't think so, as the other man had immediately turned to stare at the large world map pinned to the wall the moment he entered. He'd grown used to Vincent's oddities by now and didn't bother to say anything. He still gave Cloud the creeps, but so far he'd been invaluable handling internal security with his past experience as a Turk. He might have been strange and quiet, but he was clearly brilliant and worked hard for the team.

"Good morning, Vincent," Cloud said, as if he'd been waiting for him all along. "How are things?"

"Fine," came the reply, so quietly it was nearly a whisper. Cloud had no idea how someone with such an unusually deep voice could speak so softly. Sephiroth actually sounded a good deal like him, but without the ghostly quality and occasional Wutaiin accent slipping into his pronunciation. Much as he had always envied taller men, Cloud wished his voice was more commanding as well. Tifa assured him he was perfect and more than manly enough, but he had a difficult time believing that when he compared himself to most of his male teammates.

"Do you want to have a seat?"

"No."

"Okay…" Cloud shrugged to himself, grabbing a notebook and a pen from the side of his desk in case he wanted to take notes. He crossed his legs and balanced the pad atop his knee, absently playing with the pen as he spoke. "So, how's everything going with your Turks?"

Cloud was still a bit irritated that Vincent and Aeris had allowed the four former Shin-ra employees refuge in the base without consulting him. He knew both of them had a working PHS, after all, so the fact that he was out of town at the time was not an acceptable excuse. Aeris had apologized and said she simply didn't think about it in the heat of the moment, and he was inclined to believe her. Vincent, however… He had no idea what his reasoning was, and that almost bothered him more than the slight itself.

There was a pause, and Cloud thought he saw Vincent's shoulders lift in a slight shrug. "They seem to be settling in well… and have not created any problems. Aeris gave them enough gil to cover their basic needs, and has arranged for them to be given food and other necessities each week. Elena would only agree to see the female doctor from town, but she and the baby are both in good health. Tseng had actually sustained a fracture to the orbit of his eye in addition to the concussion, but it was already healing when discovered."

Cloud nodded, glad to hear that Hojo had not managed to harm another innocent child, or Elena for that matter. It was bad enough that the sick fuck had experimented on him and so many others in SOLDIER, but the fact that he was willing to hurt women and children managed to make him even more vile. That he'd been killed by Tseng definitely helped the Turks' cause in his eyes. And he _did _remember how their leader had released them from the brig when they were being held for execution. Because of those actions, he had allowed them to stay despite his initial anger. There was also a good chance they would provide a huge tactical advantage, something Cloud knew they would need once Shin-ra got back on their feet and decided they wanted their base back.

"That's good to hear. And Reno and Rude have stayed out of trouble?"

Vincent nodded. "Reno complains a lot, but yes. I have found that I can use him to keep Yuffie busy, and then both of them leave me alone."

Cloud grinned crookedly, a bit taken aback. Was that meant to be a joke? It was so hard to tell where he was concerned. "Is _that_ why you decided to assign her to watch after them?"

"Partially. She kept asking me to give her something to do other than standing around 'bored' on guard duty, so I obliged her. She seems to be taking the responsibility quite seriously, though she has made it clear that she dislikes Reno and would prefer not to work with him. I keep pretending to forget… I do not wish to inflict him upon Aeris."

"He'd end up making one too many crude remarks to her and getting killed by Sephiroth."

Vincent grunted in agreement, still keeping his back turned with his red cloak wrapped tightly around his lean body. It was actually rather warm in the small office, and Cloud wondered how he could possibly be cold.

"By the way, has Tseng been in touch with this mysterious 'inside contact' of his yet? And are you sure he really has one?" Cloud remained skeptical about the information, unsure if he was up to something sinister, had lied to gain entry into the base, or was actually being genuine. It was certainly possible that Tseng had someone he could still trust within the company, but Cloud had no idea who it might be.

"Not as of yet… I am meeting with him some time this week to discuss it. I will need to give him access to either a computer or PHS, and he will need to be watched closely."

"Just be careful. Any information he can get for us would be great, but not if it comes at too great a risk. We can't dismiss that the whole thing might have been a ruse until there is proof otherwise."

"Agreed."

An uncomfortable silence quickly fell over the small office. Cloud couldn't think of anything else they needed to talk about, but Vincent made no move to leave. No move at all, in fact. He continued to stand and stare at the map, even his long cloak completely still. Cloud watched his back, unsure of what to say, setting his notebook back on the desktop and trying to look as if he was organizing his things. He really wanted the older man to take his leave, embarrassed to admit he was still intimidated and a bit afraid of him. But he continued to linger long after the end of their conversation, as if he was waiting for something.

"Is there… anything else I can do for you?" Cloud finally asked, unable to take the awkwardness any longer. He was surprised when Vincent actually nodded and finally turned to face him.

"Yes, actually…"

Cloud was so busy staring at him that he almost didn't hear the words. Vincent looked terrible, as if he'd been out on a wild all-nighter and had yet to return home to sleep it off. Ever since Lucrecia had returned to his life, the most reclusive member of the team had been making more of an effort with his appearance. But now his hair was as wild as Cloud had ever seen, and upon closer inspection there seemed to be a twig tangled up in it. Even the whites of his eyes were reddish in color, and there were various spots of dirt on the dark clothing visible beneath his cloak. Vincent didn't often work during the day, but perhaps he'd been investigating something outdoors before their meeting? Cloud knew he despised sunlight, wondering if that was the reason his eyes were discolored and he looked so exhausted.

"Are you feeling okay…?" he asked hesitantly, shifting uneasily in his chair. Vincent always had that effect on him to a degree, but there was something different about him, a tension just beneath the surface, that set him on edge.

"Yes, just tired," he answered a bit too quickly, taking a few steps closer to Cloud's desk. "I wish to discuss a more… personal matter with you."

"Oh…?" That was the last thing he expected to hear, and Cloud suddenly felt as if most of the oxygen had been sucked from the room. He didn't like the intense way Vincent was looking at him, feeling like an insect beneath his gaze as he towered over him.

"It is a favor of sorts," he went on in his impossibly quiet voice, oblivious to or uncaring about any discomfort he was causing. "Regarding Sephiroth."

Cloud frowned, a bad taste instantly in his mouth. "What about him?" he asked as flatly as he could, wishing he was almost anywhere else on the Planet but seated behind his desk about to have this conversation.

"Don't you think it is time you stopped holding a grudge and gave him more responsibility on the base? It has been a year since he changed his ways…"

Cloud groaned, briefly lifting a hand to his forehead. This was not a discussion he _ever _wanted to have, especially not one-on-one with his rival's father. "Vincent, you already know how I feel about that…"

"He has done nothing hostile or violent in almost all of that time," Vincent continued anyway, his voice growing a bit louder and more forceful, "Despite the fact that he has been on the receiving end of attacks and abuse many time." He pointedly raised an eyebrow, staring right into Cloud's eyes and sending a chill down his spine.

"I know, I know… but it's just too risky," Cloud argued, shaking his head. "I'm just not comfortable with the idea. He's been given an impressive title, and he gets to run drills and help train new recruits. I stay out of his way and he stays out of mine. What more do you expect me to do?"

"Perhaps get over your fear of him and treat him fairly."

"I am _not_ afraid of the bastard!"

Cloud almost didn't realize what was happening until it was too late to react. With impossible quickness, Vincent had lunged across the desk and grabbed a hold of his shirt collar with his golden claw, effortlessly lifting him up out of his chair. Cloud found himself dragged across the surface of his workspace and held several inches off the ground on the other side, nearly eye to eye with a very angry man. Or was he…?

Vincent's red eyes had changed in those few seconds, now several shades darker and glowing with predatory desire. Cloud could both hear and feel that he was growling, frozen in terror and staring into his face with wide eyes. His features had begun to change and his mouth was twisted into a snarl, fangs already peeking out from beneath his upper lip. His skin had taken on a feint purplish tone, and when Cloud noticed how his ears had become pointed, he knew he was in serious trouble. Chaos was beginning to emerge, and he was pissed.

"DO NOT CALL MY SON THAT WORD EVER AGAIN, OR I WILL KILL YOU!" snarled a voice that didn't fully belong to Vincent. His grip on Cloud's shirt only tightened as he continued to hold him in the air, glaring hatefully into his face.

_Oh shit… I am so dead. Think, Cloud, think!_

"I-I'm sorry!" he managed to choke out, lifting his hands and trying in vain to pry Vincent's claw off of him. "I didn't mean it _literally!_"

Vincent tilted his head and studied him in an alarmingly predatory manner, as if he was considering the words but not quite sure how to react. Cloud took that as a good sign that the human side of him was still partially in control and swallowed hard, realizing he had to reach him quickly or someone would soon be cleaning him off the walls with a putty knife.

"I didn't mean any disrespect, Vincent," Cloud said as calmly as he could, starting to feel a bit dizzy from lack of oxygen. "Please put me down, and we can talk about it!" He hoped he was still speaking to Vincent and not the demon that possessed him, because if that were true he was probably already dead.

"_Listen to me_, Vincent!" he continued to rasp when the other man failed to react, his lips still curled into a snarl and his body trembling with rage. "I'll- I'll see what I can do, all right? I'll look for something else Sephiroth can help with. I already said I was sorry. Now put me down!"

For a moment, Cloud thought he had gotten through, but he closed his eyes in horror a moment later when he felt Vincent's iron grip tighten. He could feel himself lifted even higher off the ground, realizing that the other man had actually grown taller, and much stronger as well. He swallowed hard as a deep growl filled the room, fully expecting the pain to come any moment.

_Well, it's been a nice ride… Sorry, Tif._

And then he suddenly crumbled to the floor as he was unceremoniously released. He opened eyes, looking up in confusion as he struggled to his knees. Vincent stood towering over him, his eyes still glowing dangerously and his features still blended with those of Chaos. Cloud shifted back as far as he could against his desk, trembling from head and foot and still certain he was about to be attacked.

"I am sorry," Vincent mumbled in a voice that was still far rougher and more gravelly than his own. And then he was gone, out the door in a flash of red and leaving a cold chill behind him.

Cloud climbed to his feet on wobbly legs, holding onto his desk for support and breathing hard. He lifted one hand to his neck and rubbed the spot where his shirt collar had dug into his skin, dropping into his chair with a heavy sigh. He had never been so terrified in his life, not even when faced with an insane Sephiroth, or during the other occasions where he had come perilously close to facing one of Vincent's transformations. There was such a danger, an _evil_, that permeated the air when Chaos was exerting his influence. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced, and he hoped he would never make the demon's acquaintance ever again. He also prayed that no one else would, either… but somehow he had a feeling all was not well with Vincent Valentine.

Cloud also felt quite foolish, chiding himself for having largely caused the outburst. He may have hated Sephiroth, but he really _did_ need to remember that he had family and friends in Junon Harbor, and that he ought to watch his mouth… Especially with regards to the man's parentage. He'd also known that something was wrong with Vincent the moment he got a good look at him. He should have called off the conversation right then and there, but hadn't realized how serious his condition was in time. Tifa was always telling him that one learned as they aged and made mistakes, but at that moment Cloud Strife felt like he made an awful lot of them. And far too many nearly got him killed.

Still shaking and trying to calm his frazzled nerves, Cloud turned back to his computer monitor to find a new instant message from his wife. He laughed aloud with nervous energy as he read it, struggling to type his reply. He was quite certain his hands were going to tremble for the rest of the day.

"_hey, babe. how r things going over there? good?"_

"_Wonderful. Oh, and I think Vincent just tried to killed me."_

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((**Author's Notes: **Sorry if I disappoint, but I can't very well have Vincent kill or seriously throttle their team leader and go on living in Junon Harbor heading up security, now can I? Scared the hell out of him, though, and maybe changed his attitude toward Seph a little after all. I went with Cloud's point of view in order to offer a description of how Vincent comes off to someone else, someone who does not like him enough to be biased and look past a lot of his oddities. Plus I wanted to show that Cloud HAS experienced some growth and maturity since Irony of Fate, even if he's still working on it. People have been calling poor Seph a bastard and a son of a bitch since Irony of Fate, and his father has had enough! Vincent is busy making himself look bad to everyone, sadly. And now he is going to head home and face Lucrecia. Hint: She is NOT happy. Ever wonder what might happen if those two were to really get into an argument? **~ JenesisX**))


	11. Chapter Ten: Disharmony

**Chapter Ten: Disharmony**

((**Author's Notes: **First, an announcement! Since Transformations has become my run-away leader in review count, I have decided that I will do a **request fic for my 100****th**** reviewer**. It is a number I never expected to see and I'm really excited, so I want to show my gratitude somehow. This request fic is my first _ever_ for one of my readers and must fit into my AU so that I can do the best job possible. It will be a one-shot of likely 3-5k words unless it really catches my fancy and I go nuts. I will _not_ write sex scenes/smut, but pretty much any other theme or plot goes. I will PM the winner to discuss it. Please DO NOT spam my reviews just to be the winner, though, as I'll consider that cheating. Also, my poor blog is extremely lonely and needs more followers! The address is in my profile… I hate how we can't link things here! It's under JenesisX over at blogspot dot com. I use it to announce updates, ideas, occasional fic hints, and discuss writing and the fandom in general, so please check it out! Comments about this chapter and a preview for the next are at the end to avoid spoilers! _~ JenesisX_))

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"Vincent Valentine, where have you been!"

Lucrecia bolted to her feet as her missing lover finally returned home. She wasn't sure which emotion was stronger… Relief? Worry? Anger? Whichever it was, the mix was potent and she could feel herself already beginning to tremble. Her heart began to pound as she watched him wordlessly remove his cloak and boots as if he hadn't heard her. She knew he had, as his hearing had been greatly enhanced along with his other senses. No, he was just being stubborn. The anger that had been building over the last twelve hours slowly began to surpass everything else as she watched him continue to ignore her.

"_Vincent_. I'm talking to you," she tried again, biting her lower lip and trying to remain calm. Losing her temper wouldn't help anything, after all, and the last thing she wanted to do was fight with him. They'd never had what she would consider a real argument before, and she didn't want to start one now.

He slowly turned and faced her, blinking as if he was surprised to find her standing there. There was dirt on his clothing, and his hair was a wild mess. In fact, it almost looked as if he'd been sleeping outside on the ground, or at the very least rolling around on it. That same look of extreme exhaustion had returned to his pallid face, and he moved as if he barely had the energy to remain standing.

"Yes?" he said, his quiet voice devoid of emotion. Her frown deepened, wondering how he could be so calm at a time like this.

"You were out all night. _Again. _Did you think I hadn't noticed?" she asked, folding her arms across her chest and coming to stand just a few feet away from him. "Where were you?"

"Meeting with Cloud."

"From one o'clock last night til…" she paused and glanced down at her watch, "Almost noon? I don't think so…"

"Not the entire time," he conceded, attempting to walk past her toward their bedroom. She physically blocked his path, however, looking up at him and trying to meet his eyes.

"Vincent… I'm really worried about you," she said, trying to soften her tone and expression. "I'm worried about _us_. What is going on?"

"Nothing."

Lucrecia nearly growled with frustration, reaching out to grab a hold of his arm as he again attempted to slip past her and escape the conversation. No, he _was_ not going to do this to her again!

"You were missing for almost half a day, starting in the middle of the night when you were supposed to be in bed with me, and all you can say is 'nothing?' What am I supposed to think? This is so unlike you… I was going crazy worrying! I thought something might have happened to you. What if you were laying hurt somewhere and I had no way of ever knowing? I've been sick to my stomach!"

"Sorry."

The temptation to shake him was so great that she dropped his arm, staring at him in disbelief. She tried and failed to reply several times before finally managing to form the words.

"That's really all you have to say for yourself? I've been awake since the middle of the night, worried sick about you and wondering why you left again, and all you're going to give me are one word answers?"

Vincent heaved a heavy sigh, lowering his eyes to the ground for long moments before finally lifting his head again. He reluctantly met her gaze, his eyes heavy and full of a mixture of guilt and his obvious love for her. She swallowed hard, tears burning her eyes and she stepped forward and embraced him. He stood stiffly for a moment before lifting his arms to return it. It felt so good to hold him, to know he was safe and back where he belonged, that Lucrecia's anger dissipated for the moment. She buried her face in his chest, wishing they could both just forget what had happened and move on with their lives. But doing so before had clearly not worked, and she knew this episode could not be allowed to pass without a resolution.

"I love you, Vincent… You look terrible, and something is obviously bothering you. I just want to know what it is so we can deal with it. Please…"

He exhaled sharply and seemed about to respond, then abruptly stepped away from her and averted his eyes.

"I can't."

"Why not…?"

"You would leave me if you knew the truth."

He spoke the words so matter-of-factly that she frowned and studied him closely, her mind racing as her heart pounded in her chest. What could he have done that he knew with such certainty would cause the end of their relationship? They had been through so much together, and he had forgiven her for so many things. She'd done her best to accept all of the changes he'd been through and could imagine almost nothing that would ever make her even _consider _wanting to leave his side. What they had together was too precious, too wonderful, to let almost anything take it away.

Her eyes once again burned with unshed tears and her stomach churned uncomfortably as the worst possibility entered her mind. No. There was just no way. He would _never _do such a thing to her… He wasn't that kind of man. She trusted him, and was fairly certain the thought had never entered his mind even when he believed she was gone forever. His devotion to her was nearly mindless, and before the last few days she would have thought anyone who suggested such a thing of him was insane. And yet…

"Vincent… Are-Are you seeing someone else? Is that why…?" she forced herself to ask, her voice nearly a whisper. A single tear escaped and trailed down her cheek at the very idea of it, the man she loved so deeply in the arms of another. If it were true, she wasn't sure she was so glad she'd been brought back to life after all.

Vincent's eyes widened almost comically, so stunned was he by the accusation. Somehow it made her feel instantly relieved. It was obvious the thought had not occurred to him, and she knew right away that her fears were unfounded. At least as far as _that _explanation for his behavior was concerned.

"No, my love," he said firmly, shaking his head and looking more than a little hurt. "That is ridiculous… You know you are the only one I've ever been with. There will _never_ be anyone but you. Besides, who else would want me the way I am?"

"I knew in my heart you wouldn't ever do that, but… With the way you've been disappearing at night and refusing to tell me where you've been, I think it might cross anyone's mind."

"I would _never_ do something so foul and immoral as to cheat on my partner."

Lucrecia winced as if she'd been slapped. _Foul. Immoral. _Did he think those things of _her _for having cheated on her husband thirty years prior in order to be with him? He'd certainly seemed okay with her indiscretions at the time. In fact, he'd most definitely encouraged them.

"You didn't seem to think I was so foul and immoral when _we_ were together all those nights," she snapped, her voice wavering with emotion. Vincent blinked, tilting his head as if he wasn't sure why she was suddenly so angry again. Then she saw it hit him like a physical force and it was his turn to wince. He closed his eyes and sighed, lifting his normal hand to his forehead.

"Lucrecia… I did not mean-"

"Oh, forget it. It doesn't matter," she interrupted, not about to let him change the subject even if he'd hurt her feelings. That was the least of their problems. "Just tell me where you've been!"

He attempted to step around her again instead of answering, and Lucrecia once again managed to block his escape. She reached up and gently turned his chin down so he was forced to meet her gaze, looking at him imploringly. She was begging him with her eyes, pleading with him to tell her the truth and set everything right between them. But he only shrugged away from her touch and agilely slipped past and through the doorway of their bedroom.

"Lucrecia, please. I am so tired."

"Fine!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in frustration. "Go to sleep! Run away and hide again. I'll just sit here and pretend everything is all right until the _next_ time you decide to disappear and expect me to just accept it!"

Lucrecia stormed across the room to their tattered old couch and dropped heavily into the cushions. As she grabbed a hold of her current book and tried in vain to calm herself and slow her heart rate, she had the sinking feeling those were the last words she was going to speak to Vincent for quite a while.

* * *

((**Author's Notes: **Fight, fight! Er, I mean… :sad face:! It seems Vincent caught a bad case of Foot-In-Mouth Syndrome from Cloud last chapter. I hate to admit that this was fun to write, but it was. Sorry, haha. I had some reservations about having these two argue like this, as they are normally so infatuated and in love with each other. However, Lucrecia can only be expected to take so much of Vincent's sneaking around and silent routine. I think it would be unrealistic for them _not_ to have this blow-up. Now the question is, how are they going to cope with this, and can they make up? Poor Lucrecia needs someone to talk to, and next chapter she will pour her heart out to a sympathetic ear. Meanwhile Vincent is being his old angsty, depressed self and staying in bed moping and worrying instead of trying to fix things. I have some exciting scenes coming up before this fic is over, and I honestly do not know how long it is going to go. I am thinking 20-25 chapters, but that is just a rough estimate. My fics tend to surprise me like that, and I rarely stick to my admittedly loose outlines. I already have my next multi-chapter fic somewhat planned as well, and Vincent is more or less the main character in that one as well (along with Seph and the Turks). Anyway, thank you all again so much for your continued support! If you are reading along and have not yet reviewed, please do so if you have a moment, as I'd love to hear from you. To those of you who have been faithfully reviewing, I love and adore you all! It is always a pleasure to entertain my lovely readers. Til next time! _~ JenesisX _))


	12. Chapter Eleven: Heartache

((**Author's Notes: **I would like to take just a second to plug my previous multi-chapter fic, _On My Honor_. I was just doing some touch-ups on it last night and refreshing my memory since that story contains a _lot_ of the background for this one. If you don't want to go back and read all of the much longer _Irony of Fate _and its two sequels, I recommend you at least give that one a look. It is Turks-centered but from Chapter 4 onward there is important stuff relating to Vincent/Lucrecia and Aeris/Seph. Okay, end plug and onto the chapter!))

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**Chapter Eleven: Heartache**

As soon as Lucrecia slid into the booth toward the rear of the Bulldog Tavern, Aeris knew that Sephiroth's concerns about she and Vincent had not been unfounded. The older woman looked exhausted, and though she forced a small smile it didn't reach her eyes. Aeris could almost feel the misery radiating from her mother-in-law, watching wordlessly as she folded her hands on the tabletop and fidgeted in her seat. Aeris was glad she had chosen a spot in the rear corner of the establishment and made their lunch date for a time after most of its regular patrons had already finished their meals. She'd had a feeling they were going to need privacy…

Lucrecia didn't even offer a greeting, beginning to wring her hands on the tabletop. The mannerism was so eerily similar to one of Sephiroth's nervous habits that she watched in fascination for several moments before finally breaking the silence.

"Is everything all right, Lucrecia?" she asked gently, reaching across the table to lightly touch her forearm when at first she didn't respond. That was all it took for the tears to begin spilling down the other woman's cheeks, and Aeris cringed inwardly. It was even worse than she'd feared if _that _was any indication.

"No, it isn't," Lucrecia managed to say, hastily removing her glasses and wiping at her eyes as a waitress approached their booth and sat two menus down on the edge of the table.

Aeris blinked in surprise when she glanced up and took a good look at her, noting that her hair, clothing, and all of her make-up were completely black in color. Aeris didn't understand why some people preferred to present such a frightening appearance, and black was definitely _not_ her preferred color. At least Sephiroth sometimes wore gray or dark blue these days…

"Welcome to the Bulldog Tavern! Can I get you ladies something to drink?" The waitress asked in a surprisingly cheerful voice, speaking almost too quickly to be understood and punctuating the question with a broad grin that looked very out of place.

Aeris and Lucrecia both decided on large glasses of the house special iced tea, and the young waitress hurried down the isle and behind the bar to fill the order. She must have been a recent hire, as Aeris had never noticed her before. She'd have to ask Tifa later.

Lucrecia watched the woman go and sighed, shaking her head sadly. "It's Vincent," she nearly whispered, another tear escaping and running down her cheek. "I… I just don't know what to do…"

"Do you want to talk about it?" Aeris asked, wanting to be sure she wasn't forcing her to share her problems if she wasn't comfortable. She had gotten to know Lucrecia fairly well over the past few months, but she wouldn't consider them to be close friends just yet. Much like her son, Lucrecia was rather shy and reserved, making it difficult for her to open up and talk about herself. She was also so embarrassed and ashamed of her past that she seemed to fear alienating others by discussing it. It was yet another thing she shared with Sephiroth despite the fact that they'd only recently been reunited. In a way, it made Aeris feel as if she already knew her quite well.

"I… I think I need to," Lucrecia said after a brief pause. She sounded reluctant, as if it were the last thing she really wanted to do, but there was a desperation in her eyes that practically cried out for help. "_Vincent _certainly won't talk to me… We haven't spoken to each other in almost two days now."

"_What? _Really?" Aeris' eyes widened as she tried and failed to contain her reaction, because inside she was horrified. Vincent and Lucrecia had always seemed inseparable and so codependent that the thought of them not even _speaking _to each other for any length of time was extremely worrisome. She could not begin to imagine going that long without talking to Sephiroth, even if her husband _did_ often lapse into long periods of antisocial silence.

Lucrecia nodded miserably, wiping away a tear just as another fell from her eye. She was about to continue when the waitress returned with their drinks, energetically placing them on the table along with a neatly folded napkin and utensils for each.

"Here we go, two large iced teas! Are you ready to order?"

"Um…" Aeris paused, glancing across the table at Lucrecia. The other woman shook her head, silently staring down into her drink. "Not yet. We're just going to enjoy our teas and chat for a while if that's okay?" She suddenly didn't have much of an appetite, either.

"Okay! Just let me know if you decide you want to order anything else or need a refill!" the waitress cheerfully agreed, practically jogging back behind the bar and busily getting to work serving drinks to other customers. Aeris shook her head in mild amusement before turning back to her companion.

"Hopefully she'll take a hint and leave us be for a while," she said, forcing a brief laugh. It did nothing to lighten the mood. "Now, what's been going on between you two?"

"We… Well, we had a fight, the day before yesterday. And ever since he hasn't even left our bed. It's like he's hibernating, or gone into some kind of a coma or something. I've been sleeping on the couch and haven't known what to do…"

"Oh no…" Aeris breathed, subconsciously leaning forward a bit as she listened. Something very bad was happening between the couple, and her heightened powers of empathy allowed her to feel it intensely. "What was the argument about, if you don't mind telling me?"

"It's… complicated," Lucrecia said slowly, pausing to sip her drink after adding a few packets of sugar. "I guess it's been building up to this for a while, and I'm not sure where to start…"

"Start wherever you think the problem began," Aeris advised her, in no hurry and wanting to do all she could to help Sephiroth's parents resolve their difficulties. They had been through so much that if anyone deserved to finally be happy, it was them. She had to admit, however, that her concern was more for Vincent than Lucrecia, still a bit conflicted about her past actions and how they'd affected the lives of her son and lover.

"Well… He's been acting strangely. Not at all like himself... I mean, at first it wasn't all the time, but… I really started to notice it over the last couple weeks, and it's been making our time together more and more awkward."

"How is he acting, exactly?"

"He seems… distracted. Distant. And so tired. Ever since I moved in with him, we've sometimes had a bit of a hard time filling the silence when we're alone together, but it's been getting worse. It's like we don't know what to _say_ to each other after so long... Like we know each other so well, but at the same time we just… don't any more."

Aeris nodded, listening closely. "It must be so strange. The last time you two were together, he was…" she paused, wanting to choose her words carefully, but the knowing look on her companion's face made her cringe.

"Normal? It's okay, you can say it," Lucrecia said quietly, lifting her head for just a moment to meet Aeris' eyes. They were the mirror image of her son's without the unnatural glow of Mako energy, and she was once again struck by just how much he resembled each of his parents.

Aeris blushed a bit, smiling a bit guiltily. "I'm sorry. I just meant… He looked a bit different, and hadn't yet been through your death and… what Hojo did to him."

"I know…" Lucrecia said, neither looking nor sounding offended much to Aeris' relief. "He worries so much about his appearance no matter how many times I tell him I still find him just as attractive and that none of it bothers me. It ought to be obvious to him by now with as much as- er… Well…"

Now Lucrecia was blushing, and Aeris couldn't help but giggle. That was one detail of their discussion she would most definitely _not_ be sharing with Sephiroth.

"But honestly," she quickly continued, "It took me all of a day to get used to his appearance, and that was the end of it for me. It's… the changes in his personality that have been harder to adjust to."

"I don't have anything from… before… to compare him to," Aeris said, absently stirring her untouched drink with her straw. "All I can say is that he'd started to get a _bit _more outgoing since we, er, woke him up… And then I saw a huge change in him once you arrived."

"Really? Sometimes I don't feel like I've done him any favors by coming here…"

"What? No, no, you really have _no_ idea!" Aeris exclaimed, perhaps too quickly. Lucrecia suddenly looked even more worried, and she sighed quietly to herself. Now didn't seem like the best of times to explain just how depressed and lifeless Vincent had been following her death. "He was really lost without you," she settled on, knowing it was the truth without being too painful to hear.

"If that's the case, then why can he hardly talk to me half the time, and why does he seem so tense? And why is he disappearing in the middle of the night and refusing to tell me where he's been when he finally shows up the next day?" Lucrecia asked, a hint of anger and bitterness slipping into her voice.

"Uh-oh," was Aeris' immediate reply, and she didn't realize she'd said it out loud until Lucrecia began to stare at her expectantly. _Crap…_

"What?" the older woman asked, tilting her head curiously. "Do… do you know what he's been up to…?"

"Um… Let me ask you this first," she said, stalling a bit for time and feeling a blush creep into her cheeks. _Me and my big mouth… _"What do _you_ think he's been up to?"

Lucrecia frowned, removing the straw from her drink and beginning to fold it into tiny segments between her hands. "I… had no idea at first, but then… I wondered if it was something secret for work. But that didn't make much sense, especially after the second time, and he used to tell me even some highly classified information when he was a Turk so I'd always know where he was." Aeris raised an eyebrow at that before Lucrecia continued. "Then, I… I'm so embarrassed to admit it, but I started to think he might be seeing someone else."

Aeris actually laughed out loud at that, regretting it a bit when she saw the brief look of hurt that crossed Lucrecia's face. But a moment later, she began to chuckle as well, shaking her head with mild amusement. "Yeah, I know… About as likely as a blizzard in Costa Del Sol, right?"

"I'm glad you realize that! I've never met a more devoted man in my life… Not even Seph can come _close_ to his level of obse- dedication."

"I can't believe I even _asked_ him about it… He looked so hurt." Another tear trailed down her cheek, and she heaved a heavy sigh. "The discussion just got uglier from there… And he's been unconscious ever since. I knew his body worked… differently now, but this is so strange and fascinating. I've never seen anyone be so still for so long without needing to get up for any reason." For just a moment, Lucrecia was a wide-eyed scientist faced with an interesting puzzle instead of a worried lover, but she quickly caught herself and cleared her throat. "But… Well, I've had a lot of time to think because of it, and I'm pretty sure I have a good idea what's going on now. To be honest, I feel really stupid for not figuring it out right away."

"What did you come up with?" Aeris asked her, feeling a bit like a teacher trying to urge a difficult answer out of a struggling pupil. The suspense was beginning to kill her. She dearly hoped Lucrecia knew what was happening to Vincent, because if she remained so blissfully unaware of his struggles after all this time they had a huge mountain to climb.

"I think it's got something to do with… Chaos," Lucrecia said to her relief, though she spoke the demon's name with obvious discomfort.

Aeris felt a smile tug at the corners of her mouth, resisting an urge to reach out and pat Lucrecia on the top of her head. Why was it that the smartest people could often be the most dense when it came to things that should have been obvious. Even Sephiroth, at times, missed hints and social cues that would have smacked almost anyone else right in the face. At least now she knew where he'd inherited _that_ as well.

"So you agree, then," Lucrecia said with a snort of frustration at herself, though she did manage to return the slight smile. "And you also think I should have figured that out ages ago…"

"I've spent a _lot _more time around him, since… then," Aeris said, trying to soften the blow. "So I've learned to recognize the signs pretty well. We all lived in pretty close quarters for a few months last year. There was more than one time where we woke up the next morning to find him gone, but he always made his way back to us."

"Did he… tell you where he was when that happened?"

"Not always. Sometimes he would admit he'd transformed, but other times he was vague or would refuse to say anything at all. And since he doesn't remember where he went or what he did… There likely wasn't all that much to tell."

"Ah, right, he did mention that detail. I'd forgotten… We almost never talk about it. He briefly spoke to me about Chaos when I first arrived, and every now and then he might mention something about it, but… I still feel like I know so little, and understand even less."

"Have you told _him_ that?"

"Not… in so many words," Lucrecia admitted, looking down in shame. "I've tried to make it clear to him that I love him no matter what and am always here for him when he needs me, but… I don't know how to ask him to tell me more about what he experiences without him thinking I see him as nothing but an interesting specimen or something. I know my curiosity as a scientist _is_ a small part of it, but I really just want to learn so I can understand him better, and maybe even help him deal with it. He just seems so unhappy sometimes… And now everything is falling apart."

"Lucrecia… I totally understand why you've both been avoiding it, but you two have _got_ to talk about this," Aeris said a bit forcefully, wanting to be sure she understood just how important it was. "Something is _really_ bothering Vincent as of late. I've seen it. Seph's seen it. You've seen it, too, and it's only getting worse. I hate to say it, but… I'm afraid things are only going to get much harder unless he absolutely realizes that he can tell you everything about Chaos and what it's done to his body and mind… He needs someone he can confide in without worrying about what they'll think about him. But right now, he's just too frightened. He is _so_ afraid he's going to lose you if you knew how much it affects him that he is driving himself mad trying to hide it from you!"

"But… He hasn't hidden it, Aeris. He told me about it right away and-"

"No, _please_ listen to me," Aeris interrupted, feeling a bit guilty for being so hard on her mother-in-law, but knowing it might be the only way to reach her and help both she and Vincent. She had to impress upon her just how serious the situation was becoming before it was too late. "_How many times_ have you seen him transform, or at least begin to, in the last few months? Twice? Three times?"

"Er… Well, none," Lucrecia answered, much as she'd expected and feared. "I mean, the other day I cut my finger and he looked strange for a moment when it started to bleed. But he-"

"That isn't normal for him, Lucrecia! When Avalanche was traveling, he was having episodes once every few _days_. Can't you see, ever since you came back he's been doing his damndest to control himself and hide any symptoms from you, and he did a _really_ good job of it. _Too_ good of one. Then the Turks got here, and his stress level finally went through the roof. He's been bottling it all up until he finally exploded, and from what you and Sephiroth have told me he's having a _very _hard time getting back in control now that he has. I heard from Cloud that he almost attacked him the other morning at their meeting. Lucrecia… You have _got_ to do something to reach him before something horrible happens."

Lucrecia could only stare at her, speechless, her knuckles white as she clutched her glass between both hands. Slowly, a look of recognition and horror filled her eyes, and her lower lip trembled as she began to cry.

"Oh, shit," she swore quietly, holding one hand to her forehead. "Why would he _do_ that to himself? I tell him over and over that I love him, that I will never leave him, that I don't care if he's changed… Why doesn't he _listen? _Why does he still think I'd leave if…?"

"I'll be very honest here," Aeris said, lowering her voice a bit and reaching out to grasp one of Lucrecia's hands. "Watching him transform is a really horrible, terrifying thing to witness. It makes sense that he wouldn't want you to see it if there was anything he could do to prevent it. It's also extremely painful for him, and he fights so hard not to lose control. But sometimes it's as if it… builds up inside of him, and he just _has_ to. In between, though, he's usually very capable of controlling himself unless someone or something really pushes him. Chaos has never hurt any of us, even when Vincent transformed right in the middle of a battle. In fact, he actually helped us a few times. I think Vincent may actually still have some influence over it, whether he realizes it or not… Despite everything you've told him, I think he needs some kind of reassurance, some kind of _proof_… that you can go through it with him and still choose to remain at his side."

Lucrecia hung on her every word, her green eyes wide. Aeris could tell this was information Vincent had never shared with her, and knew he would likely be horrified if he knew how she was enlightening his lover. But he was being stubborn and foolish because of his fear, and _someone_ needed to better inform her before their relationship, and perhaps his sanity, was harmed beyond repair.

"What do you think I should do?" Lucrecia nearly whispered. The irony of her husband's mother asking her for relationship advice was not lost on Aeris. Her family was definitely _not_ of the traditional variety.

"Go home, wake him up, and talk to him," Aeris said without hesitation, hoping she was advising her to do the right thing. "It may be difficult to wake him, but don't let him just lay there or he may do it for a _very _long time. Don't forget that we found him in the same state last year, and he'd been that way since shortly after your death. He doesn't know how to handle all the fear and shame he carries around, so he's doing exactly what he did before when everything was too much for him to deal with by himself. Make him snap out of it and listen to you. Tell him that he does _not_ have to be ashamed of who he is, and that you don't expect him to keep hiding every sign of Chaos from you. Let him know you can handle it and he doesn't need to work so hard to protect you, and that you _want_ to understand everything he experiences. And tell him… Yes, _again_… how much you love him. Trust me, I can tell Seph the same thing fifty times a day and he _still _worries about it. Be prepared to do most of, or even _all_ of, the talking, at least at first. If there's one thing I learned with Sephiroth, it's that the harder I try to force him to open up and talk, the more he feels threatened and shuts down. He is so much like Vincent that I bet the same is true for him as well."

Lucrecia was nodding, smiling faintly. "I just get so frustrated with him sometimes, it's hard to remember that."

"Trust me, if anyone knows what it's like to talk to a brick wall, it's me," Aeris giggled. "But unfortunately for us, we were attracted to the strong silent type. You just can't give up on him, because right now he needs you probably more than he ever has."

"Do you think it'll really help… if I just go wake him up and talk to him?" Lucrecia sounded so worried and unsure of herself that Aeris wished she could hug her. Instead, she smiled and patted her hand, nodding as confidently as she could manage.

"I think just knowing that you're not mad at him, and that you already know what's been going on, will make it much easier for him to get up and try to deal with this. Hopefully he'll get comfortable enough to talk to you about it once he realizes everything is all right between you. But you may need to give him a little time… He's not feeling strong enough right now, and the only way he knows how to react is to either avoid the problem or shut down completely. Seph does the same thing, though he isn't able to just pass out like that for days on end. But he always seems to do his best to push me away when he needs me the most."

Lucrecia rose from her seat on unsteady legs, forcing a look of determination onto her tearstained face despite the fresh ones that had already begun to fall. "Then I'm going to go home and show him he can't chase me away so easily!"

Aeris watched her go, removing the gil for their drinks from her pocket and placing it on the tabletop along with a generous tip. She could only hope that her advice was sound, and that Lucrecia would be able to draw Vincent out of his nightmare.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

He hovered in a place between life and death, between blissful unconsciousness and endless nightmares. Though he hadn't moved a muscle in the days since he retired into isolation, Vincent's mind continued to race no matter how hard he tried to escape.

Lucrecia had returned to his life, and still he'd managed to create misery. They should have been so happy. She should never have had to worry about anything ever again. But even after so long and so much suffering, he remained too weak to give her what she deserved. He was a monster, a horrific being who could not even control himself and keep from destroying that which he loved most. He was sinful and vile, and even though he'd tried so hard to hide it from her, he knew she now realized just how pathetic he really was.

He was a failure. He was dangerous. When he'd remained in his coffin for so many years before, Chaos seemed to sleep along with him, present only as a dark shadow across his tortured thoughts. Perhaps if he returned to his long slumber the demon would rest as well. It was the best option for everyone, he convinced himself, unable to find the strength to get up and continue to fight when he knew there was no chance of victory. While asleep he would no longer be able to hurt Lucrecia, and neither could the demon within. She was already so angry with him that he was certain she could easily move on with her life once she realized he was not going to wake up. He'd been a fool to think he could actually live a normal life with her, no matter how much he loved her. It simply wasn't possible for one carrying his past sins… For Vincent Valentine, it was far too late for redemption.

He allowed his thoughts to fade into oblivion, wanting nothing more than to vanish from existence. He was far too afraid of what would happen should he actually experience losing Lucrecia a second time while Chaos waited to feed on his anguish, choosing instead to hide himself away and hope that the world would soon forget he ever lived.

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((**Author's Notes: **A longer than usual chapter for this fic, and you know, it was rather challenging to write, too. I think it's because writing (hopefully) realistic dialog is always something of a challenge, and takes a lot of effort and editing to get just right. I'm reasonably sure I hit the mark, it just took a lot of pondering and adjusting. The subject matter of the conversation was also rather delicate and a lot of information to cover, and because it all happened sitting in a booth there weren't a ton of other things I could add aside from their words. Oh! The waitress was a response to author **Bexteron**'s challenge within our fanfiction group to write your muse into a story. Mine is named "Manic" and is extremely bipolar. So I thought a hyperactive goth chic was fitting, lol. Now that we all feel really bad for Vincent (and maybe even Lucrecia a little, too, you haters? Hee.), it's time to see what happens when his lover tries to wake him from his latest hibernation trick. Vincent, knock it off, you are _not _a bear! Will their chat draw him back and solve all his problems? Hmmm, maybe. But as I've said this fic still has a ways to go, maybe not. Thanks again for all the lovely reviews and favs, gang! Getting pretty close to that 100th. If you need a laugh while awaiting the next chapter, you may want to check out my other ongoing multi-chapter fic, _Dark Nation Goes To the Vet_. Reno, an assignment / punishment, and a very unhappy Guard Hound. What could go wrong?! Til next time _~ JenesisX_ ))


	13. Chapter Twelve: Hope

((**Author's Note: **Congrats to Bexteron for posting my 100th review without even realizing I was giving out a request fic for it, haha! I will do another at 150 if we get there. If the same person 'wins,' it will go to the poster immediately after them. ALSO. I don't know why I failed to mention this previously, but for those who haven't read all my previous fics and wanted to see how Lucrecia came to be alive again and engaged to Vincent, that story happened in _Life After Death_. It could use some more read & review love, too. Thanks! Now on with our current tale. _~ JenesisX_))

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**Chapter Twelve: Hope**

Still. There was no description that better fit the atmosphere inside the bedroom as Lucrecia stood quietly in the doorway. After taking some time to shower and prepare herself so that the reality of how difficult the last few days had been for her did not immediately show, she'd finally worked up her courage and was about to attempt to awaken the still-sleeping Vincent.

She stood watching for a moment longer, hoping to spot some sign of life from her unconscious lover. But there was no movement from beneath the comforter that completely covered him aside from the very top of his head, not even the slightest sound coming from his direction. She swallowed nervously and began to inch forward, hoping that Aeris was correct and this was really the right thing to do.

She'd been rehearsing the words she wanted to say over and over inside her mind, wanting them to be perfect when she finally spoke to the man she loved. There was no room for any more mistakes, not if his mental state had fallen as far as Aeris suspected. Yet Lucrecia remained terrified that she would say the wrong thing, or not say enough… She'd never been particularly skilled when it came to expressing herself, often tripping over her tongue or allowing her shyness to prevent her from speaking what was truly in her heart. She could not afford to let that happen this time, steeling herself against the nervousness that threatened to chase away her resolve.

She took a few more steps forward, her eyes quickly adjusting to the dim lighting. Her heart started to race and she could feel herself begin to tremble with nervousness, looking heavenward as if for strength. This time, she had to remain calm and in control. She had to stay strong. She needed to show Vincent that all was well between them, and that she was able to handle his struggles with Chaos. She was not about to panic and start crying _already_. It was finally her turn to be the rock he could lean on, and after all the love and support he'd so selflessly given her she was not about to fail him.

Lucrecia forced herself to approach the side of the bed, studying Vincent's prone form and realizing that he was facing away from her and toward the wall. She sat lightly on the edge of the mattress, tucking her legs beneath her. She stared down him for long moments, before closing her eyes and wishing for luck.

"Vincent?" she said softly, watching closely for any sign of a reaction. When there was none, she reached out and gently peeled away the comforter to expose his head and shoulders. She leaned across his body to study him, finding his eyes closed and his expression blank. He did not so much as flinch, and after a brief pause she noticed that he did not even seem to be breathing. An irrational fear began to build within her, a lump rising in her throat and making it difficult to breathe. What if he had actually _died_, and she'd been unaware and left him laying there like this for so long? She began to panic, reaching around and placing a hand onto his chest. His body remained motionless as she felt desperately for a heartbeat, relieved beyond words when she eventually found one. It was faint and even slower than was customary for him, and his body gave off almost no heat beneath her hand despite the fact that he was fully clothed and had spent so long cocooned beneath the blanket. She studied him as he finally took a shallow breath, biting her lip as she moved her hand to rest on his shoulder.

He really did seem to have entered some kind of hibernation, she thought with a mixture of amazement and trepidation. She'd grown used to his lower pulse rate and body temperature, but his current state was far more severe, almost as if he was existing in a kind of suspended animation. Did he really do this before for _thirty years_? The thought was both incredible and horrifying, and she began to dread what would happen if she was unable to wake him. Would she be forced to spend the rest of her life watching him lay there, never to get the chance to tell him how she felt? The thought was far too terrible to consider, and she did her best to force it from her mind. She had to really _try _before she began to despair, she scolded herself

She took a deep breath to calm her nerves before lightly shaking him, calling his name a second time. His hands remained tucked beneath his chin and his expression didn't change, almost a full minute passing before he took another shallow breath. Vincent sometimes fell into quite a deep slumber when he eventually needed to rest every few days, but normally he would have been wide awake by now. It never took much more than the sound of her voice, or a gentle touch at most. She sighed, not wanting to be too rough, but realized she had to increase her efforts.

"Come on, Vincent, you've been asleep for long enough now," she said in her normal speaking voice, squeezing his upper arm and pulling back the covers a bit farther. "It's time to get up, love."

As she'd half-expected, his only response was another nearly-imperceptible intake of breath. She fought not to sigh in frustration.

"Baby, there is _no reason _for you to stay here like this any longer," she went on, her tone warm and gentle. "I'm alive. I'm not mad at you. I'm just really worried, and I miss you… Please, try and wake up?"

She fought hard to withhold the tears that burned her eyes, lightly shaking him again before using all of her strength to roll him toward her and onto his back. She took a hold of his right hand and gently separated it from his metallic limb, gripping it tightly between both of hers. Her heart jumped with mild relief when he slowly lowered his left arm down to the bed, but he instantly became deathly still once more.

She remained there at his side, her eyes never leaving his face, for what could have been anything from minutes to hours. She fought a rising temptation to simply lay down and go to sleep right along with him. That would not solve their problems or help him with what he was going through, though, and she kept a hold of his hand as she lifted her other to tenderly caress the side of his face.

"Vincent… I'm not going to stop bugging you until you wake up. I'm not going anywhere, so you might as well accept it and stop this. Come back to me, my love… I need you."

She thought she saw a slight change in his expression, the brief twitch of a muscle along his jaw that might have been due to his recognition of her voice… Or perhaps she was just tickling him. Encouraged, she continued to run her hand along his cheek, smoothing back his hair and watching him closely for any further reaction. This was harder than she'd expected, amazed that he could remain so completely unresponsive.

Lucrecia began to consider that she might need to do something more drastic to snap him out of his comatose state. She frowned, feeling self conscious about raising her voice and not wanting to startle him. Vincent was a good-sized man who'd been trained as a Turk and had new abilities she didn't fully understand. Scaring him awake seemed like a very bad idea, even if she knew his gun was out of reach. Besides, that would be cruel, and she didn't want him to start their conversation with frazzled nerves. He was already suffering enough. There had to be another way…

"I want to help you," she said, mustering all of her love and patience and trying to channel it into her touch. "But I can't do much if you're not even willing to wake up and let me try…"

A single tear fell from her eye and began to trail down her cheek as she continued her vigil, wishing for even the smallest sign that he could hear her. It eventually fell from her chin and landed on his face as she leaned over him. Just as she moved to brush it away, she was surprised to see his expression finally change. Slowly, she watched a frown begin to form, and she could have sworn she saw his eyes move beneath their closed lids. She'd promised herself that she wouldn't let him see her cry, but if it could possibly help to reach him she was willing to allow herself a moment of weakness.

"Hey," she said softly, removing her hand from his forehead and lightly shaking him again. She smiled as his frown deepened and his brow wrinkled in thought, as if he was starting to regain consciousness but not quite sure what was happening. "I know you're in there."

With painful slowness, his eyes fluttered open. There was an emptiness behind them, as if he couldn't yet focus his vision, and he did nothing but stare directly up at the ceiling. But when Lucrecia squeezed his hand this time, she felt him very lightly return it. She exhaled with relief and quickly brushed away her tears before replacing her hand along the side of his face.

"Can you hear me?" she asked, tilting her head and watching his expression closely. It was disturbingly vacant and he didn't so much as blink, but she did notice that he seemed to be breathing at closer to his normal rate. "Hey… Look at me, baby."

She'd about given up on him actually complying with her request when his eyes gradually shifted in her direction. They were the only part of him that moved, but a wide grin crossed her face. Now they were getting somewhere.

"So you _can_ hear me… Good. Because all you need to do right now is listen. Okay?"

He finally blinked once and lightly squeezed her hand again, and Lucrecia realized it was the best he could do for the moment. It was such a relief that he'd awakened and acknowledged her at all that she gladly accepted it and continued.

"Listen to me, Vincent. I realize… that things have gotten out of hand between us lately, but I want you to know that I'm _not _angry any more, and things really aren't all that bad. So we had one little argument… It's not the end of the world. Do you know how unusual we probably are for as little as we fight?"

She forced a brief laugh, holding eye contact with him as she spoke. It was a bit difficult given his unblinking stare, but she did her best to ignore it. She tried to address him

as if everything was back to normal, just the way she would if he was sitting beside her and able to join in the conversation instead of lying silent and nearly paralyzed.

"I'm sorry I lost my temper, and that I got so frustrated with you. But I didn't know what was happening between us, and I was scared and confused. Now I realize how stupid I was… Vincent, I know why you've been acting so stressed, and why you keep disappearing at night."

His grip on her hand tightened, and he finally blinked again. She heard him inhale sharply, tenderly stroking his cheek and smiling down at him to calm his nerves.

"It's okay, you don't have to get upset… I know it's because of Chaos, and you know what? That's okay."

Very slowly, he turned his head toward her so that he could look at her more easily. His eyes remained locked with hers, taking on more of an alertness as he very obviously listened to her words.

"I realize now how hard you've been trying to control it and keep me from seeing any signs of what you have to deal with. I know how much of an effort that was for you, and how much of a toll it took on your health and happiness. I don't ever want you to do that to yourself again. Vincent, I _know _that you can't help it… And I also know that you're afraid of what I'll think of you if I learn more."

She paused, shaking her head and running her hand through his soft black hair. His eyes briefly followed her movement before returning to her face.

"I want to understand, Vincent. I want to know everything about Chaos. I want to know how it affects your thoughts and your body, because I love you. I'm here with you for the rest of my life, and there is _no reason _for you to struggle with this on your own. No matter how hard it gets, or how unpleasant a lot of it may be to tell me, I still want to hear it. I would be honored if you decided to share those things with me… But I'm not going to force you. I'll be here whenever you feel comfortable. I'm not afraid of you, and I'm strong enough to handle the truth. I will never hold it against you if Chaos influences something you say or do, or when you're unable to help but transform. You have got to stop trying to protect me and let me take care of _you_ for once…"

He looked so frail at that moment, laying there pale and motionless, watching her as if she was his only remaining lifeline. It was so hard not to throw herself down onto his chest and cry for him. She admitted that before speaking to Aeris and realizing what Vincent had been going through, that was exactly what she would have done. But Lucrecia was determined to be strong this time, perhaps for the first time in her life, and she continued to clutch his hand to find the determination she needed.

"The most important thing you need to know is that I am _not_ going to leave you. No matter what you tell me, no matter what I witness… It will never happen. _Never. _I promise you that from the bottom of my heart. I know you worry about it all the time, and I know you have a hard time accepting that I'm really back, and that you deserve to be happy. But this is real, and it's forever. Please don't forget that any time you're feeling worried or afraid. We both need to remember that it's safe to share everything with each other, and that includes Chaos. Do you understand? I'm not going anywhere, Vincent. You need to stop living on pins and needles and expecting the worst… Because the worst is already behind us."

"So go ahead and think about that for as long as you need… But I really want you to stop laying there tormenting yourself. I'm lonely without you… I feel like the best part of me is missing when you're not around. Everything is going to be fine now, and I'm here for you. Always."

Lucrecia took a deep breath, feeling as if an enormous weight had been lifted from her chest. She'd told him everything that she felt, and he'd listened even if he remained unwilling or unable to respond. She could only hope that her words had an impact upon him, and that he could see how much she meant each one. All she could do now was live out her promises and wait for him to find the strength to talk to her.

She remained at his side and lapsed into a comfortable silence, still holding his hand and running the other through his hair and along the side of his face. Vincent watched her every move as if unable to look away for fear she would vanish. He remained so completely still aside from the shifting of his eyes that she gasped in surprise when he suddenly sat straight up and threw his arms around her.

He held on to her almost desperately, burying his face against the side of her neck. She recovered from her shock and fiercely returned the embrace, alarmed by how badly he was trembling in her arms. He clung to her with all his might, and she was surprised when she realized he was crying.

"I'm sorry…" she heard him whisper, his voice rough from lack of use and choked with emotion. "Please… I can't live without you…"

Lucrecia began to sob as well, relieved that she had reached him and intensely sharing his emotions. "You don't have to any more, baby," she reassured him, running one hand along his back to comfort him. "You don't have to."

* * *

((**Author's Notes: **The end! …. I kid, I kid! Don't kill me. I hope I was able to get the mood and emotions of this scene just right. I also hope that Lucrecia came across well, and that I described Vincent's comatose state decently. I really COULD end this fic here, I just realized. But what fun would that be. Is it happily ever after now, or do more troubles await? I love to hear from everyone, so thank you for continuing to Review and Fav/Follow me. Don't be just another phantom reader! Please share the love. This story is my baby and it always means so much to me. Thank you! _~ JenesisX _))


	14. Chapter Thirteen: Tranquility

**Chapter Thirteen: Tranquility**

Evening had fallen across Junon Harbor, and Lucrecia returned to the basement apartment carrying an order of take-out from The Bulldog Tavern. After her conversation with Vincent, she had remained at his side for hours, just holding and reassuring him, until her stomach had begun to growl. He'd heard it, of course, much to her embarrassment. He encouraged her to go and take care of herself, unwilling to take no for an answer. He rarely seemed to grow hungry, but remained acutely aware of the needs of others, especially hers. She'd reluctantly agreed and finally left his side, promising to return soon.

She sat the order down upon their coffee table, having gotten enough food for both of them in case Vincent actually developed an appetite. Their basement dwelling lacked a kitchen, but it did have a small refrigerator off in one corner with a microwave on a small cabinet beside it. It was yet another reason she longed to move to a real apartment, but now was definitely not the time to bring up the subject. She would be content to live wherever he was comfortable, even if it was inconvenient at times.

As she began to unpack the food and set it out on the tabletop, she was surprised to hear footsteps and looked up toward the bedroom. Vincent was standing in the doorway, looking a bit uncertain and uncomfortable, a fresh change of clothing in his arms. A wide smile immediately crossed her face, and when he remained in place as if unsure of what to do she quickly rose to her feet.

"I'm so glad you're up," she said, reaching his side and embracing him warmly. She felt him exhale with relief as his right arm slipped around her body and held her close. She decided it was important to act as if it was just another day… That he was getting up after his usual period of sleep and not several days of hibernation. She knew he was embarrassed by what had happened and didn't want to dwell on it.

"Thank you," he said in a near-whisper, briefly dropping his head onto her shoulder. She knew his words referred to far more than her greeting, running a gentle hand along his back as they stood together.

"I just got back with dinner, if you're hungry."

"Maybe later…"

"And I had an idea for something we can do tonight, once you're dressed?" She took a step back and held on to both of his wrists, looking up into his eyes a bit shyly. She wasn't used to making suggestions and found herself worried that he would reject the idea. He tilted his head and watched her with interest, and she swallowed nervously before forcing herself to continue.

"I was thinking about how nice it always was to take long walks together, and just have time to talk and enjoy each other's company. Since the sun's gone down and it's a really nice evening, I thought maybe we could take a stroll on the beach? There won't be anyone else around at this hour, and the fresh air might help you feel better."

Lucrecia also hoped that doing something 'normal' couples did would aid his state of mind, and with any luck the time alone in such a peaceful setting might help him open up and talk to her. It had been far too long since they'd gone out and done something romantic, and she knew it would do them both a lot of good.

He blinked, clearly surprised by the suggestion. After a moment, she was thrilled to see the corners of his mouth turn up into a partial smile, and he slowly nodded his head.

"I would love to," he said, his deep voice hauntingly quiet. Lucrecia grinned and stepped forward to hug him tightly, stretching up to softly kiss his lips. Though she realized they still had a long way to go, she knew they were both making an effort. She was filled with a renewed hope for the future, proud of him and wanting nothing more than to make him happy for the rest of his life.

"Great! Go ahead and get ready, and I'll eat something before I starve to death," she laughed, reluctantly releasing him so he could head into the bathroom to get ready. She felt almost giddy, relieved beyond words that he seemed almost back to normal, and very glad just to be with the man she loved.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Aeris stood on the balcony outside her second floor apartment, a watering can in her hand as she checked over the rows of flowers and other assorted plants she kept there. She hummed to herself as she worked, already wearing her pajamas. She'd been busy that day organizing further cleaning efforts along the harbor, and had forgotten to tend to her small garden until after she'd started preparing for bed. Better late than never, she thought to herself, making sure to quench the thirst of each plant she'd raised from seedlings.

She carefully propped up a few flowers whose tops had grown heavy, using a handful of small sticks she'd gathered for support. She smiled, pleased with her work and about to head back inside, when something on the street below caught her attention.

Despite the dim lighting provided by several nearby streetlights, Vincent's long red cloak was instantly recognizable as he walked along Main Street. At his side, almost hidden against his tall form, was Lucrecia. The two walked close together and were holding hands, and a wide grin crossed Aeris' face.

_Thank the gods…_

Inside, she jumped up and down with relief. It seemed Lucrecia had taken her advice and managed to coax Vincent from his slumber. She was so proud of her mother-in-law, and so happy for them, that she felt warm all over. She was about to go inside to tell Sephiroth he could stop worrying about his parents when Lucrecia suddenly glanced up and saw her there.

She was further elated when the other woman waved and smiled, her eyes shining with happiness. When Lucrecia winked playfully a moment later, Aeris couldn't help but giggle. Vincent finally turned and looked her way as well, nodding politely. Even still, he looked relaxed and quite content. Aeris waved back to them and grinned, realizing they were heading toward the harbor. It was quite late to be taking a walk along the beach, but Vincent was largely nocturnal and despised the heat and sunlight. She somehow knew the idea had been Lucrecia's, touched so deeply by the gesture to accept his differences that she felt tears fill her eyes.

She watched them for a moment longer, then turned and went back inside. She set down her watering can and washed her hands in the kitchen sink, unable to wipe the smile from her face. The apartment was nearly silent, and she wondered if Sephiroth had gone to bed. It didn't seem likely that he would have done so without her, though, and after drying her hands on a nearby towel she approached the living room to look for him.

When she reached the doorway, she stopped dead in her tracks and blinked, trying to figure out just what she was witnessing. Sephiroth was sitting on the couch with a bowl of popcorn in his lap, one of few snack foods he seemed to have a weakness for. What was so odd about the scene was what he was doing with it. Instead of eating it, he was tossing one kernel at a time into the air and across the room. She peered around the doorframe and almost laughed out loud when she discovered why.

Blade, the Great Dane he'd brought home several weeks before, was sitting at rapt attention, watching every move his master made. Each time Sephiroth tossed a piece of popcorn in his direction, the big dog attempted to catch it in his mouth. He continually missed, however, snapping his jaws comically early or far too late. At other times, the kernels bounced off his nose or the top of his large head, and he looked about in confusion trying to locate them.

After watching a few more failed attempts, Aeris could contain herself no longer. She burst out giggling and entered the room, causing Blade to jog over and wag his tail in greeting. Sephiroth looked a bit surprised and embarrassed at having been caught in the act, smirking crookedly.

"What are you doing?" Aeris laughed, joining him on the couch and placing a hand on his thigh. She was so glad that he no longer seemed bothered by her need to express her affection through touch. Unless he was in a dark mood…

"I am attempting to teach him a trick," he said with a heavily sigh, "But he is terrible at it."

"So I saw!" she said, thoroughly amused. Sephiroth shook his head, though he couldn't help but pat the dog fondly on the head when he came over to sniff them. "That was really funny… You two are so cute together."

She leaned over and rested her head against his shoulder, sighing contently. Blade headed off and began busily sniffing about, searching the floor for all the popcorn he'd failed to catch, and Sephiroth placed the bowl on the coffee table so he could wrap his arm around her.

"I am _not_ cute," he said, but there was no annoyance in his tone. In fact, when she looked up into his eyes, they were shining.

"I'm going to have to disagree with you," she told him, stifling a yawn. "So, guess who I saw when I was out on the balcony just now?"

Sephiroth tilted his head curiously. "Who?"

"Your parents!"

"…Both of them?"

"Yep! They were taking a walk together, holding hands and looking rather cozy. It seems like everything is back to normal between them."

"That is good to hear."

Though his words were stiff and formal, Aeris could feel just how relieved he was through the close emotional bond they shared. She knew it would remove a huge weight from his shoulders, since he'd been worrying about them ever since he'd gone hunting with Vincent and seen how stressed his father was. As they sat close together, she could also feel his love for her, and how much her closeness was affecting him. She smiled, running her hand along his chest before climbing to her feet.

"I'm going to head off to bed now, love," she said, flashing him a mischievous smirk. "Will you join me after you and Blade clean up your mess?"

"Of course," he said, already on his feet and beginning to search for wayward kernels. "Just don't fall asleep before I am finished."

* * *

((**Author's Notes: **Hey gang! I realize this was a rather short chapter, but the next scene is going to be lengthy and take me a while to get just right, and I didn't want to keep everyone waiting another few days if I didn't have to. I've not been feeling the best this week, so it slowed me down a bit. Anyway, I hope this was a peaceful little interlude from all the angst and suspense that's been going on. How many reviews can I get for Blade the dog?! :D That scene is taken right from my memory and experiences with the real Blade, who could never quite master that trick, lol. Next chapter, we will find out what happens between Vincent and Lucrecia during their evening stroll on the beach. I'm really looking forward to writing it. Please don't be shy about adding this fic to your Favorites and Follows if you're enjoying it, as every one counts. Thanks, guys! ~ JenesisX ))


	15. Chapter Fourteen: Acceptance

((**Author's Notes: **I'd like to take a moment to let you all know I have posted a new one-shot, _The Last Act_. It is a gift fic for my lovely beta and fellow author, **CykeclopsFF7 **(She just got all her fics reposted to her new account, so give her a visit some time!). It's about Vincent on the night Lucrecia died, so if you like this story you will probably enjoy it as well. It also ties into my continuity, and events that are mentioned in this chapter. We'd both very much appreciate it if you'd give it a read! Now, on with the show. _~ JenesisX _))

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen: Acceptance**

Vincent was surprised by how much better he felt as he walked along the darkened beach of Junon Harbor, hand in hand with the woman he loved. The night air was cool against his skin, and the military base just above provided enough light to allow his lover to see. There was not another soul in sight, and his sensitive hearing told him that no one else was anywhere near the area. It was so peaceful, and he felt the warmth of contentment run through him for the first time in several weeks.

He glanced down at Lucrecia, who was looking out over the ocean with an expression of pure joy on her face. He realized she'd suggested the outing with his differences in mind, something that instantly put him at ease. She really _was_ trying to accept the changes that had been made to his body, doing her best to adapt and find things they could still enjoy together. She was an amazing woman, and he was again struck by the powerful feeling that he did not deserve her.

She had been so patient and understanding when she'd woken him up earlier in the day. He was so afraid and unable to face her, but she'd refused to give up on him. He could still see the love in her eyes, and feel the tender way she'd touched him as she worked to reassure him and bring him back from his torment. Her words had gone a long way toward improving his confidence, though he continued to worry that she didn't know exactly what she was promising. Would she truly be able to accept the way his mind now worked, the more she learned about it? And if she actually saw him transform and experienced Chaos for herself, would she really stay? He knew she meant everything she'd said, but until she came face to face with his demonic side he was not completely convinced she could go through it. And he did not intend to find out the hard way…

He did his best to push aside the lingering doubts, not wanting them to intrude upon their time together. At that moment, he felt almost like a normal man, holding Lucrecia's hand just a bit tighter as they made their way along the deserted stretch of beach. Aeris and her crew had done amazing work cleaning up the litter and pollution in that particular area, nearly wiping away the damage caused by Shin-ra with sweat and dedication. With Lucrecia at his side, Vincent could think of nowhere else he'd rather be.

As if hearing his thoughts, Lucrecia turned her head and smiled up at him, her green eyes shining in the moonlight. He couldn't help but want to smile back, though only one corner of his mouth turned upward when he tried. Her long brown hair was swept back by the soft ocean breeze, and he was once again captivated by how breathtaking she was. Ever since the first day he'd seen her working in the cluttered laboratory, he'd had eyes for no one else. Not even death and thirty years of sleep could change that. Nothing ever would. She was his soul mate, and he would never be able to love another.

"It's such a beautiful night," she said, her voice reverently quiet as if she didn't want to disturb the tranquility of the evening.

"Yes," he agreed, though he was far more interested in her than their surroundings. "I am glad you suggested this… Thank you."

Her smile grew wider, and he was pleased to see a rare confidence cross her face. Her self image had never been good, and he wanted nothing more than for her to see herself the way he did.

"I had a feeling you'd enjoy it."

They lapsed back into a comfortable silence as they continued to walk, Lucrecia moving in a bit closer and leaning her head against his shoulder. He released her hand and wrapped his arm around her, sighing contently.

There had been so much stress as of late, and Vincent finally felt as if he could breathe a bit easier. How could he be anything but satisfied when he had the woman he loved back in his life through a miracle of the fates? Despite everything that had happened and all the challenges he was forced to deal with, it was easy to feel lucky at times like this. He only hoped that, this time, their happiness would last. She deserved it after all she'd done to bring his frozen heart back to life. Her first life had been difficult and largely unhappy, and he wanted to make her second as close to perfect as possible.

"Why don't we stop and sit down for a bit?" Lucrecia suggested, glancing up at him hopefully. "It's so peaceful here this time of night, and I love the sound of the ocean…"

Unable to deny her anything she desired, Vincent nodded and came to a halt. He paused thoughtfully, then unfastened the clasp of his long red cloak and slipped it from his shoulders. Finding a flat patch of sand tucked into the shadows of an unused dock, he spread it out across the ground to create a blanket for them to sit upon. Lucrecia beamed as he settled onto it, keeping his long legs bent at the knees. He held out his right hand invitingly, feeling his cheeks color a bit pink. Giggling, she took his hand and settled herself between his knees, sitting with her back pressed against his body. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close, leaning over to softly kiss the side of her neck.

Lucrecia rested one hand on his thigh, covering his hands with the other. She leaned back heavily against him, sighing contently and closing her eyes. Vincent did the same, an intoxicating feeling of pleasure washing over him. The peaceful background noise of the ocean and the cool breeze surrounding them only served to increase how amazing it felt. She had been correct… They _did_ need to do things like this more often.

Lucrecia seemed content to sit in silence at first, though after a while she kept glancing at him over her shoulder as if something was on her mind. He knew she'd wanted to spend the time alone together hoping they might be able to talk, admitting to himself how badly he'd been neglecting that aspect of their relationship. Though it was difficult for him, Vincent nervously cleared his throat before managing to find his voice.

"I am sorry… for how I behaved these last few days. It was cowardly, and unfair to you. I hope that you can forgive me."

She turned and smiled up at him, slowly shaking her head. "It's okay, baby… I just wish you felt comfortable enough to tell me how you've been feeling. It's not good to keep so much bottled up inside the way you do."

"How do you explain to the women you love that your thoughts are influenced by the desires of a demon?"

"You can share anything with me, and I'll always listen and not judg-"

Vincent's head suddenly snapped to the left, his every sense instantly yanked away from his lover and focused on object he'd detected streaking across the sky. A small bat had flown out from beneath the safety of the dock, the combination of his heightened senses and Chaos' predatory desires causing him to fixate upon it. He watched with unnaturally alert eyes as it flew away, experiencing a disappointment that was not his own when it vanished into the night. He quickly bit down on Chaos' desire to go after it, pushing the demon's dark thoughts to the back of his mind once more. He blinked rapidly, fighting to clear his head. Vincent sighed miserably when he realized Lucrecia had stopped speaking and was staring at him curiously.

"There, you see," he said, looking down in shame. "That is exactly what I mean…"

"What happened?" she asked, not the least bit angry with him. He dared lift his head to meet her eyes, his expression apologetic.

"I saw a bat," he said simply, unsure of whether or not he ought to elaborate. "I could not help but notice it, and then… Chaos made me continue to watch. I am sorry, I really was listening…"

"It's okay," she assured him. She did not seem to be disgusted as he'd feared, and he did his best to relax. "I've seen that happen to you before, but I never understood what was going on… It's so much better to know, than to wonder if something's wrong, or if I'm boring you."

He had to smile at that, shaking his head at the very notion. "Never," he said, his attention fully focused on her again. "It is I who must bore you… Staying at home so much and never wishing to leave. I am hardly interesting."

"You know I've always been a homebody. My idea of fun is a night spent with a good book, curled up in bed with you… Or maybe watching a romantic movie or two. I don't need much else. I've got you."

Vincent sighed again, beginning to lift his left hand to run it through her hair. When he realized what he was doing, however, he quickly lowered it and switched to his right. He despised his clawed appendage, and did not wish to touch his angel with such a vile mockery of a limb if it could be helped. Hojo had put it there, a fact that only made it more foul.

"You don't always have to do that," Lucrecia scolded him, lightly running one of her hands along the back of the prosthetic. "I'm really not sure how many more times I have to tell you, but it doesn't bother me."

"It bothers _me_," he said, hearing the bitterness in his voice and instantly regretting it. He could not help but think of the night it was attached to his body, shuddering at the memory.

"_So you like to interfere in other people's lives, Turk? Let's see how much you enjoy _this!_"_

_The sound of an electric saw filled the air, and he could only watch helplessly as it was brought down upon his left arm. The white hot pain, the blood… Hojo's laughter echoing in his ears along with his own screams of agony…_

He didn't notice as Lucrecia shifted in front of him, positioning herself sideways and leaning back against one of his legs for support. She was gazing up into his face with concern, but he'd become so lost in the horrifying flashback that he didn't notice until she spoke.

"Vincent? Are you okay?" she asked, the worry clear in her voice. She reached up and touched his face, gently tipping his chin downward so that their eyes met. He blinked rapidly, struggling to banish the unpleasant image. Why was his mind constantly waging war against everything he enjoyed? It was almost as if he was not meant to find peace. He swallowed hard, battling nausea, his heart racing in his chest.

"Yes, I…" He closed his eyes, disgusted with himself for trying to lie to her. He held up his clawed limb, studying it absently as he kept his other arm wrapped around her. "I hate it because… I remember the night it happened so clearly."

"I've always wondered what happened to you right after I died," she began quietly, gently smoothing his hair back from his face. "You've told me almost nothing from before you joined Avalanche."

"That is because… it is unpleasant. I did not wish to burden you with it."

"Vincent…"

Lucrecia watched him closely, her eyes filled with sympathy and a desire to know more. He knew she only wanted to help, and better understand why he acted so strangely at times. At one time, they had been nearly able to read each other's minds, and he knew she missed that closeness as much as he did. He sighed heavily, deciding that he needed to force himself to tell her. He owed her the truth, especially when she was making such an effort to strengthen their relationship.

"As I've told you before… Hojo shot me in the chest when he caught me attempting to remove Sephiroth from the lab," he began, his voice little more than a whisper. "Everything went dark, and I believe that I may have even died… At least briefly. But then… I regained consciousness, strapped to one of his operating tables."

Lucrecia gasped, lifting a hand to cover her mouth. "He didn't…. Did he…?"

Vincent hesitated, not wanting to further upset her. But he remembered her words when she'd awakened him from his sleep, and took a deep breath before continuing.

"I was awake for the entire procedure. I remember everything… I cannot erase it from my mind. It is often the reason I awaken at night, unable to contain Chaos…"

He hung his head and let his hair fall across his face, wishing the hurt and anger had not been so obvious in his trembling voice. He closed his eyes, realizing how fast his heart was beating as the pain and humiliation of that night raced through his mind. He felt like he was falling, drowning in his memories and unable to break free. His chest grew tight, as if he'd been shot all over again, and it became harder and harder to breathe. He gasped for air, panic beginning to set in. There was no escape… He was damned to relive his nightmare, again and again, until it drove him-

Vincent was yanked back to reality by the realization that Lucrecia had climbed to her knees, facing him and throwing her arms around his neck. She clung to him as if she never intended to let go, crying and burying her face against his neck. He took a deep breath and raised his trembling arms to hold her tightly, exhaling sharply with relief. She had managed to reach through his torment and rescue him once again…

"I had no idea… I'm so sorry," she murmured against him, finally leaning back and wiping away her tears as if ashamed. "Gods, you went through so much suffering because of my mistakes. How can you even stand to look at me?"

"Because I love you," he instantly replied, his voice still a bit weak and shaken. "Everything I endured was more than worth it, because you are here with me now…"

"I love you too, Vincent…"

She leaned forward and kissed him softly, the contact instantly chasing away the remainder of his dark thoughts. He ran his hands along her back as he returned the kiss, feeling needy and almost desperate to be held. Lucrecia kept her arms around his neck, moving one hand to the back of his head as their kiss deepened. Vincent leaned back breathlessly, gazing into her eyes and feeling almost hypnotized by her beauty and the desire he saw reflected back at him. He smiled, a real smile that felt strangely foreign to him, softly caressing her cheek.

"No one else is around," he whispered, a bit surprised at what he was considering. It was so unlike him, but at that moment it simply felt right, and for once he did not let his fears and insecurity get in the way.

Lucrecia seemed taken aback for just a moment, then smiled and leaned in against his body. Their eyes met for an intense moment, neither able to look away. When Vincent leaned down and kissed her again, it quickly became passionate, as if they were two young lovers reunited after a long separation. As they laid down together atop his cloak, all thoughts of demons and experiments were soon forgotten.

* * *

((**Author's Notes: **Oh, baby. I wonder if they went through with it… Teehee. Anyway, serious mode. I hope this chapter showed what Vincent's thought process is at this point, and also demonstrated some progress in their relationship. Also, you people who told me you wanted Chaos to come out on Lucrecia during their walk are cruel! Haha. Never fear, I am certain that by the end of the fic she wil- I've said too much. Ahem. Next chapter, Vincent gets back to work and tries to catch up on some security issues. He's also got a meeting with Tseng to find out more about his 'inside contact,' so we'll see how those two get along this time. Tseng's been a bit busy, as we shall find out. Anyway, thanks as always for your continued support! _~ JenesisX _))


	16. Chapter Fifteen: Responsibility

((**Author's Note: **Fun fact time: Transformations has received almost 4.5k views so far. That is an awesome feeling! I never hear from most of those readers, though, so I really appreciate the people who offer their comments and support through favorites/follows and reviews. I'd like to take a moment to thank my most frequent and loyal reviewers, because you guys have been amazing for the entire ride thus far, and definitely keep me motivated! So, in no particular order: FreezingCold, Vincent's Claw, Dragon of Zanarkand, Seproth (Happy birthday, man!), Dzuljeta, Miano53, SeersSword, Chaouleon, Bexteron, Ardwynna Morrigu, Tsukiyomi Moto, zexydemyx66, JilliBeanz, saster123, and Mata Nui. Thank you SO MUCH, guys, and thank you to everyone else who has reviewed or added me to your lists as well. I've got the best readers out there, and I am honored that I get to tell you all the stories that were born and bred inside my mind. Anyway, enjoy! _~ JenesisX _))

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen: Responsibility**

Vincent sat at his desk in the security building, sifting through the stack of paperwork and memos that had been left upon it over the last few days. Incident reports, arrest records, requests from various guards about everything from their assigned shifts to partners… Most of it was not pressing, and his staff was used to the fact that he tended to disappear for days at a time. They were largely self sufficient and responsible without him, and knew that in the event of a real emergency they were to contact Sephiroth, or Cloud if he was unavailable. He supposed he really _should _have appointed an assistant chief by now, but no one available had the experience or leadership qualities for such a position. His security team was largely young and new to that line of work, much like Junon Harbor's military. They were dedicated and enthusiastic… But at times, little else.

Despite the mound of documents piled before him, Vincent was in a cheerful mood that morning. The previous evening spent with Lucrecia on the beach had been one of the best of his life. Despite the memories he'd experienced and the unpleasant information he'd finally been able to share with her, he had been able to relax and feel as if they were a normal couple in love… And that he was just a man and not a demon or some kind of foul undead. It was a blissful relief, and he could still feel the warmth throughout his body. It made it a bit difficult to remain focused, but he did his best.

He glanced over a report about a pair of thieves who'd been harassing shopkeepers throughout the base and town below over the last few weeks. They had finally been caught in the act, and were languishing in the brig until Vincent gave the order regarding their punishment. He did not feel the least bit guilty that they'd had the wait the extra time while he was indisposed, rarely experiencing sympathy for those who disrupted the city they'd been trying so hard to rebuild. He quickly signed the document that would set them free, under the condition that they were to leave Junon Harbor and never return. The brig was quite small and far from modern, and Avalanche had decided that housing a large number of criminals was not in anyone's best interest. So far, that course of action had been effective. The threat of life spent in such an antiquated prison seemed to be an adequate deterrent.

Vincent moved on to the next sheet in the stack, a long-winded request by one of his newer guards to switch from night shift to days. He shook his head, sighing to himself. It was at least the third request or complaint by the same young employee in less than a month's time. The reason given had something to do with the woman's family life, and while he felt bad for her, he simply couldn't approve every similar request. The daylight hours tended to be calm, with little crime or need for action, and there were already more than enough security officers scheduled between sunrise and sunset even though Vincent himself was rarely on duty. He quickly jotted down a polite decline at the bottom of the form, adding that he would consider it if someone from days wanted to switch with her, then set it aside.

He next reached down and turned on his computer, intending to check his e-mail… though he was fearful it only contained additional electronic paperwork. The machine was still in the process of booting up when there was a quiet knock at the door. He'd left it ajar, as he was expecting someone for a meeting in a short while, but when he glanced up he was surprised to find Yuffie waiting there instead. She looked hesitant, even a bit shy, offering a little wave when he nodded his acknowledgement.

"Um, hey… Can I come in?" she asked, uncharacteristically polite. Vincent immediately knew that she wanted something, groaning inwardly, but waved her inside anyway. She did not pull the door closed behind her, which he took as a good sign. At least it was not going to be anything embarrassing or overly personal.

"Sit," he said, when the girl simply stood in the center of the room looking uncomfortable. She flopped into the chair across from him and gripped the arms with both small hands, leaning forward to study all the papers spread across his desk.

"Finally decided to come to work today, eh?" she asked, grinning crookedly.

Vincent simply stared at her. She began to fidget, blowing a bubble with the pink gum she was chewing. He hated when people chewed gum. It was so loud to his sensitive ears, and he couldn't help but smell it even from across the room. He would never understand why people felt the need to do so, though he supposed it was preferable to smoking.

"I looked for you the last couple of days, but you weren't around," she continued, squirming under his intense gaze. Vincent made an effort to soften his expression, leaning back in his chair and attempting to look somewhat approachable. "Did Chaos take you off on a little tour again?"

He nodded sharply, pulling his cloak closer around his neck so he could shield his face with it. Even though all of the members of Avalanche knew of the demonic presence that often overtook his body, he was still ashamed and unhappy that she'd known where he was… At least partially. He'd sooner die than have her find out the rest of the story.

"That sucks," Yuffie said when he did not answer further, her tone sympathetic. "I'm glad you're back, though!"

"Why is that?" he asked quietly, though he admitted that part of her was no doubt sincere in her concern for his well being. She had been kinder to he and Sephiroth than anyone else aside from Aeris during their long journey, and he would never forget her for it… Even if she did annoy him.

"Because we all missed you! And um… because I wanted to ask you something."

_And the truth comes out… So predictable._

"All right."

Yuffie shifted in her seat, uncomfortable with his short replies even though she was quite used to his manner of speaking after so long. "It's kind of a favor…"

Vincent continued to watch her, but said nothing. The girl sighed heavily, briefly biting her bottom lip for a moment before she found the courage to continue.

"Can I _please _not have to supervise Reno every single day? He's driving me _crazy! _He is _so_ annoying. He makes fun of me constantly, and he's lazy and never wants to work! I'm so freaking tired of him. And Rude, too! He just stands around and snickers at everything Reno does like he's a comedy act. Ugh!"

Vincent had to fight not to smirk, still using his cloak to cover the bottom half of his face. In the past, he had used it to hide himself away from the world, and to guard against anyone being able to see how he felt and what he was thinking when he was so depressed he could barely continue living. He no longer felt the need to do so most of the time, but it still came in handy in situations like these. He was quite amused that his plan was working as intended, though Yuffie had grown tired of her new duty much faster than he'd anticipated. He had to give Reno credit for that. He had managed to annoy one of the most annoying people Vincent knew in just over a week's time.

"Are you saying you wish to be relieved of your duties?" he asked her, his voice devoid of emotion.

"YES! Of _those_ duties, anyway. Can't I do something else? I don't want to babysit the Turks any more!"

"Are you finding the assignment too difficult?" he asked, peering out at her from behind a wall of red. He knew his words would get an instant reaction, and Yuffie did not disappoint him.

"What?! NO! That isn't what I meant!" she exclaimed, her cheeks flushing crimson. "It is _not_ too hard for me at all. He's just… so annoying, and so _gross! _I was just hoping maybe…?"

"Yuffie, this is a very important duty, and I thought I could rely on you to handle it," Vincent said, forcing disappointment into his tone. The look on her face was priceless. "I suppose if I need to find someone else, I can inquire with Aeris if she needs an assistant to help her pull weeds or spread fertilizer…"

Yuffie looked about ready to start gagging at the very thought. "No, no! Really, it's okay! You can totally count on me to take care of things. I'll make sure Reno gets his ass in line and does what he's supposed to!"

"Good," Vincent said nonchalantly, fighting an odd desire to laugh. He was so unused to the feeling that at first he hadn't recognized it. He wondered when the last time had been, but decided not to worry about it. He was still learning how to smile again, after all. "I will do you a small favor, however, since you have been such a reliable guard and are willing to stick with it." It was the least he could do for the fun he was having at her expense, not to mention that she _was_ keeping an eye on the Turks for him.

Yuffie's eyes lit up, and she raised both eyebrows expectantly. "Ooh, really?" she asked, practically bouncing in her chair. "What is it? Materia? A raise?"

"No… I will be sure to assign Tseng to you instead of Rude for the next week, to help offset Reno, and as long as all goes well today all of you can have tomorrow off. You can let the Turks know whenever you choose."

"Cool!" Yuffie exclaimed, though she instantly frowned and tilted her head. "Hey, wait a minute. What's with you?"

"Excuse me?"

"You're being awfully nice… What's the catch?"

"No catch… I just felt like it."

Vincent's mind began to drift back to the previous evening, and before he realized it a slow smile had spread across his face. Just as he caught himself and replaced it with his usual grim expression, Yuffie hopped up out of her chair, pointing at him with a wide grin.

"Ha! I saw that!" she exclaimed, causing his cheeks to grow warm with embarrassment. "I saw you smile! What the _hell_, Vinny. Since when do you smile? I didn't think you knew how."

"My name is Vincent," he corrected her for the thousandth time, quickly using his cloak to hide his face while attempting to sink into his chair. "And I did no such thing."

"Yes you did! Liar! I totally saw it!" Yuffie accused with a giggle, placing both her palms on his desktop and staring at him across it. "Come onnnnn, what's so good that's got you all happy? You're weirding me out!"

"Nothing…"

"Oh, please! TELL ME! I'm not leaving until you do!"

_Oh gods… What a horrifying idea…_

"Fine. I had a nice evening, that is all."

All hopes that his statement sounded dull and innocent were immediately lost when her eyes went wide, a knowing smirk quickly spreading across her face.

"Ooh, baby! Hahaha! You got lucky, did you? Good! You've been _way_ too uptight lately, you know? You should do that more often. I'll even ask Lucrecia for you if you want!" She dissolved into giggles, reminding him once again that despite everything she'd gone through with the team, she was still only a teenager.

Vincent rolled his eyes, hoping that he was not visibly blushing. It certainly felt as if he was, a fact he found rather disturbing. "Go away, Yuffie… Before I change my mind."

"Yes, sir!" she exclaimed with a mock salute, spinning around and heading for the door so quickly that she nearly slammed into Tseng. She put on the brakes and backed up a few steps, studying him awkwardly for a moment.

"Yuffie," he said with a polite nod, appearing surprised to see her there.

"Hey, it's my favorite Turk… The smart one who kicks ass killing bees! Um… I was just leaving, so seeya!"

She slipped around him and out the door, leaving Tseng to blink after her. He finally shrugged to himself, then turned and entered Vincent's office. He pulled the door closed behind him, nodding a greeting before settling into the chair Yuffie had vacated just moments before.

"Good morning," Vincent said, quickly tidying up the paperwork he hadn't gotten to. He briefly mused over the contrast between his first meeting, and the one he was about to have. At least he could be reasonably sure that Tseng didn't plan to tease him and dig into his personal life.

The former leader of the Turks seemed to be sizing him up again, his dark eyes alert and taking in every detail. Vincent found himself much more on guard as well, his old training kicking in and causing him to do the same. He believed that Tseng was genuine, and would not attempt anything because he was sincere in his desire to protect Elena and their unborn child. But still, one could never be certain with a Turk, retired or not.

"Thank you for coming," Vincent continued when Tseng did not speak, receiving only another nod in reply. "I trust you are prepared to discuss this inside contact of yours, and how we might be able to speak with them to get an update about Shin-ra's recent activity?"

"Of course," Tseng finally replied, folding his hands in his lap. "All I will need is access to a computer with an internet connection, and I ought to be able to reach him." He paused, glancing down at his watch. "I am certain he is at his desk now."

Vincent paused to consider the request, realizing that it was a rather large risk. Even if he stood watching over his shoulder the entire time, Tseng was still capable of doing something too quickly to be stopped. Cloud would have his head if he let that happen, not to mention that it would endanger the entire base and everyone living within it. He briefly weighed the options before exhaling and meeting the other man's eyes.

"All right… But you had best not try anything," he warned, allowing the threat to ring clear in his voice. Tseng sighed, about to roll his eyes, but finally nodded his agreement and managed to keep his expression neutral.

"You cannot think I would risk everything I have by doing something that stupid," he said, sounding a bit offended. "You have my word."

"Very well," Vincent replied, rising from his chair and gesturing toward it. "Go ahead, then."

As Tseng stood and walked around the desk to take his place at the computer, Vincent watched his every move, hoping that his judgment was sound and the former Turk would not do anything to jeopardize either of their futures.

* * *

((**Author's Notes: **My apologies that this chapter took a bit longer than my updates have been as of late. I usually aim for once a week or so as long as my muse cooperates, but lately I had just been on a heck of a tear and could not stop writing. But as some of you know, I suffer from chronic health problems, and that is what usually slows me down when you don't hear from me for a while. Definitely was the case this time around, unfortunately. I appreciate your patience and continued support, and hope no one had given up on me, haha. Anyway, the Yuffie part of this chapter wasn't planned, and sort of just happened when I sat down to write. See what I mean about never knowing how long a fic will be? One chapter just split into two here, and I never stick to my outlines, lol. So the bulk of Vincent's meeting with Tseng got pushed into the next chapter. Will our former Turk behave himself? (Also, those who read _On My Honor _know who the secret inside contact is, so you'll have an advantage ;) Anyway, thanks again everyone! Til next time. _~ JenesisX _))


	17. Chapter Sixteen: Gratitude

**Chapter Sixteen: Gratitude**

Once Tseng was seated at Vincent's computer, he quickly found the shortcut for Universal Messenger and started the program. He navigated so quickly and with such ease that Vincent was immediately alarmed, realizing he was completely out of his element. If the former Turk should decide to try something untoward, he wasn't even sure he'd be able to tell.

He realized belatedly that he was a poor choice to oversee Tseng's contact with his Shin-ra insider, as he had only recently learned to operate a computer… and not very well. Before his long sleep, the machines had been in their infancy, and no one outside their development team had even seen one, much less learned how to use it. Vincent had only just begun to adjust to the oddity that was the PHS, when he was given an office at Junon Harbor that included one of the strange metal towers. He hadn't even known how to turn it on, much less what it did… finally admitting as much when people wouldn't stop asking if he'd gotten their e-mails. What the hell was an e-mail, he'd asked Cid, to a shower of guffaws. Embarrassed, he'd awkwardly approached Sephiroth and asked to be shown what to do with the thing, and how to retrieve the mysterious invisible letters he was being sent. Despite his five year absence from the normal world, his son still knew the basics and quickly adapted to anything that had changed. He'd been a surprisingly skilled and patient teacher, almost as if he enjoyed the role.

Now, at least, Vincent knew how to turn on his computer, open a few programs, and read his e-mail. He could even type a little, though his clawed hand made it a bit of a challenge. He'd decided to show the machine to Lucrecia, knowing it would interest her and give her something more interesting to do than staying at home reading while he was in his office. She was instantly fascinated, and had a better understanding of its functions than he did within minutes. He'd grown a bit tired of saying "I knew that" and having her smirk knowingly after the fifth time, so he'd given up and admitted he was mostly clueless. She'd managed to show him a few tricks she learned, but he was still a beginner at best. How in the world was he supposed to make sure Tseng didn't try anything suspicious, when he stared helplessly at the screen the moment something strange happened? And how could he be sure the other man didn't notice how inept he was? Standing behind him was helpful, but he had a sinking feeling it wouldn't be enough.

"I will log in under an assumed name I've had for years, for the times I wished to take care of things outside Shin-ra's knowledge," Tseng said with a glance over his shoulder. "My contact also has an identity only I and a few others are aware of. He managed to encrypt the IP address of his laptop, so that it cannot be traced back to him… among other security measures."

"Good," Vincent replied casually. _What in the hells is an IP address?_

He watched as Tseng typed in his username, then hesitated a moment. "Would you mind looking away while I enter my password?"

Vincent frowned, wondering how bad of an idea that was. It made sense, however, that Tseng wouldn't want others to have access to his account. Not only might it endanger his contact, but it would also severely undermine his value as Avalanche's connection to him.

"All right," Vincent said, trying to sound unconcerned. He turned his back, listening as Tseng quickly typed in a fifteen digit password and pressed enter. When he heard the ding of the program accepting the information, he turned around and resumed staring at the monitor.

"Ah, good, he's online," Tseng said with a glance at his list of contacts. But before he could do anything more, an instant message box appeared in the center of the screen, from someone named 'Catnip.'

"_Well hello! Long time, no see!"_

"_Are your cats at play?" _Tseng replied, causing Vincent to raise an eyebrow. Was he seriously going to spend time discussing _pets _with his contact? He dearly hoped not… He would prefer not to spend hours looking over his shoulder while he chatted endlessly with his friend. He had other work to do, not to mention a burning desire to return home to his beloved.

"We have a few code phrases to prove our identities," Tseng explained, as if sensing his thoughts while he awaited a reply. "If he answers properly, I will respond with the next line, and then we will both know it is safe to continue."

"I see… That is wise."

"I suppose… Common sense when communicating important information this way, really."

Vincent fought the urge to sigh with annoyance at Tseng's arrogant tone. He finally made note of the former Turk's user name, HonorGuard. He wondered if Catnip's name was a clue to his identity, running through a list of the Shin-ra employees he knew in his head. His thoughts were interrupted when a new message arrived.

"_They're playing safely on their own," _wrote Catnip, adding a smiley face to the end of the statement.

"That is the correct response," Tseng said, already typing his reply. _"So are mine, though we have company."_

"What does that mean?"

"I wanted him to know that I was not alone, so he could choose how much to reveal, if anything, about his identity. But my response also informed him that it's safe to share information and answer my questions."

"I see…" Vincent wasn't sure he was comfortable with the contact knowing Tseng was being watched, wondering if it would affect his honestly or the depth of intelligence he would provide. Still, putting himself in the contact's shoes, he did understand.

"_All righty, then. How have you been?" _Catnip sent. _"I heard you all are in Junon Harbor. Intelligence figured that out rather quickly, not that they can do anything about it."_

"_Yes. Avalanche has allowed us to stay, and they have been good to us. There are conditions of course… one of which is to provide information about recent Shin-ra activity."_

"_Aah, I see. Is Elena well?"_

"_Yes. She and the baby were both unharmed, and are doing fine."_

Vincent silently observed the conversation, noting that the contact knew Tseng well enough that he was aware of his situation. He wondered if he had learned of it before the Turks fled Midgar, or if he'd somehow been informed since. He hoped it was the former, since Tseng was not supposed to have access to any method of communication.

"_Great! Well, I guess I'll fill you and your companion in on what's been going on around here," _Catnip messaged back.

"Anything specific you'd like me to ask him?"

"Let's see what he has to say first…"

Several minutes passed, before a long message appeared on the screen.

"_Well, we were all forced to attend Hojo's funeral. Closed casket of course. The only people there were Shin-ra employees, which was really no surprise. The guy has no friends, and who knows about relatives. I definitely had a hard time looking properly saddened by his demise. Rufus hasn't named his replacement yet, or yours, but you all need to be aware that the Military and Science Departments are still hard at work looking for a way to counter Junon's shielding ability_."

"Unsurprising," remarked Vincent, though inside he got a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. The thought of what would happen should they succeed was not something he liked to think about.

"_They're researching a way to break through it, but there's also an undercover operation in effect… It's likely they'll try to sneak into the base and disable the shield from within, rather than trying to break through it when it's active. So if you aren't heavily guarding whatever equipment runs it with only the most trusted members of your team, you ought to be_."

"I do hope that has occurred to you?" Tseng asked, this time with worry creeping into his tone. Vincent nodded sharply, a bit offended. Did Tseng think he was stupid?

"Of course. We have taken many security measures with the device. Cameras, alarms, twenty-four hour armed guards… and Cid has it trapped as well, should anyone manage to get close enough to interfere with it."

"Good… The remaining Turks will be determined and relentless if they've been assigned to reach it. We must be just as determined to protect it."

"_Otherwise, it's been chaos around here," _Catnip continued before Vincent could reply. _"Rufus went on a 'mental health vacation' shortly after you left, and has only just returned. A lot of employees are asking questions, and not getting any answers. All they were told is that Hojo was murdered in his quarters, which has made everyone very nervous about their safety. And with all of you leaving at the same time, no one knows what to think."_

"_I assumed they'd never be told the truth, or anything close_," Tseng replied. _"But I expected to have my name dragged through the mud, even if they won't admit that I killed him."_

"_Well, that hasn't happened, at least not yet. Rufus hasn't really said anything about you and the others, just that you've left the company. I'm not sure he knows what to do. He's never had to handle anything like this before, and he's still young and foolish."_

"Ask him if there are any immediate plans to attack the base," Vincent said, taking in the information and committing it to memory.

Tseng did as he was told, then quietly awaited a response. Vincent was pleased with his actions thus far, further convinced that he had no intentions of betraying them. The former Turk may have seemed cold and uncaring, but Vincent sensed that he cared deeply for Elena. He saw a lot of himself in the man, and admired him for what he'd done to protect her. It further reminded him of his own failure, however, and he concentrated on the monitor to keep his mind from wandering into the past.

"_Not yet," _Catnip replied_. "There's too much upheaval at the moment, and the shield is a huge roadblock. But trust me, the moment they find a way around it? Rufus will launch a full scale attack. It may not happen for years at this rate, but it *will* happen… I hope you all will be ready in time."_

"Good," Tseng said quietly, no doubt thinking ahead to the birth of his child. "It seems we will have peace for a while, at least."

"_Incoming! Gotta go!"_ Catnip suddenly messaged, and before Tseng could react he had gone offline.

"Someone must have entered his office," Tseng said with a sigh of annoyance. "I hope that information was helpful, at least? We can contact him again in a week or so for an update. I don't wish to message him too often, since it increases the odds that he will be caught. If he is, I owe it to him to go to his aid, and I am not in the mood to return to Midgar…"

Tseng logged out of the program and rose from Vincent's chair, returning to the other side of the desk. Vincent reclaimed his seat and nodded, switching off the monitor.

"Yes, thank you. I will share it with the others at our meeting this week."

"Very well…" Tseng remained standing, but hesitated instead of leaving the office as expected. He looked thoughtful, as if there was something more on his mind that he was not sure he ought to share.

"Is there anything else you need at the moment?" Vincent finally asked, surprised when the other man sat down across from him again. He briefly studied his hands before looking up and meeting Vincent's eyes.

"I understand now why you were sympathetic to our situation, and why you became so… upset during our meeting," Tseng began, his usual confident tone a bit hesitant. "I'm glad I was able to remove the stain of Hojo from your life. He was a sick man that had been hurting people for longer than I realized… I am sorry for what he did to you and your family."

Vincent raised an eyebrow, unconsciously sitting up a bit straighter and gripping the arm of his chair with his claw. "What do you know about that?" he asked, more sharply than intended. He could feel his pulse begin to pound at his temples, unwanted memories intruding into his thoughts.

"I know what he did to Lucrecia, and to Sephiroth. I always suspected that he was Sephiroth's father, though I did wonder how he'd managed to become such a powerful soldier with those genes… Learning that you are his father makes much more sense."

Vincent's heart began to race, and his stomach churned with nausea. Somehow, Tseng had learned of his past, and possibly even Chaos, despite the fact that he was living under house arrest and should have had no way to learn such personal information. Had he been wrong to trust him after all? He stared at him harshly, his emotions raging just beneath the surface. Tseng calmly met his gaze and did not so much as flinch.

"How did you discover all of this?" Vincent demanded. "The experiment was highly classified, and before your time… No one was to know who Sephiroth's parents were, or what became of Lucrecia and myself after his birth."

"Your young guard… Yuffie. She is a wealth of information when you get her to talk."

Vincent frowned, anger instantly burning inside him like an acid. He'd tried so hard to be tolerant of the girl… to make her feel like an important part of the team. And she had repaid him by betraying his confidence and sharing highly personal information with individuals she should have known better than to trust. He was going to _kill _he- No, he quickly corrected himself, struggling to push Chaos' violent desires from his mind. He was going to _scold_ her and assign her to the worst duty he could imagine for the foreseeable future.

"Don't be mad at the girl," Tseng interrupted, reading Vincent's expression as he ground his teeth in frustration. "Elena can be quite disarming, and Yuffie was no match for a group of very interested Turks hanging on her every word. She meant no harm… It's clear that she likes and respects you a great deal."

The words only softened the blow a little, and Vincent suddenly felt like a specimen being examined under a microscope. He felt exposed and vulnerable, his past and his secrets revealed. He wanted nothing more than to be alone at that moment, but Tseng was still studying him closely, and made no move to leave.

"I'm sorry if I've upset you," he said, the sincerity clear in his voice. "I just wanted you to know that I am grateful for what you've done for us, and will be forever in your debt."

"I appreciate that," Vincent said quietly, a severe headache already beginning to form. Chaos was close to the surface, feeding on his negative emotions, and he briefly closed his eyes in an attempt to silence the demon. "Elena is doing well, then?" he asked, desperately needing to change the subject and remove Tseng's attention from himself before he noticed his distress.

Tseng nodded, a slight smile crossing his face. Suddenly his familiar mask of neutrality had lifted, and his expression was much less guarded. "Very well, thank you. She is still nervous and a bit in shock… We both are," he admitted, shifting uncomfortably. "But she's also starting to get excited. She already wants to begin working on the nursery. I'll need to speak with Aeris to see if she can give us the gil and supplies we'll need, though…"

He frowned, and in his eyes Vincent could see the shame and regret he felt that he could not provide for his own child without assistance. He had a good idea of how it felt to feel inadequate as a parent, filled with sympathy for him. He had done so much good for so many people by ridding the Planet of Hojo, and had acted honorably in a difficult situation where many others would have turned their backs and protected themselves ahead of anyone else. Tseng deserved to feel proud of what he'd done, and to enjoy the arrival of his daughter. The least Vincent could do was help make that possible.

Vincent reached into a pocket on the inside of his cloak, removing a large pouch of gil. He paused for just a moment, then reached across the desk and held it out toward Tseng.

"Here."

Tseng studied it for a moment, until what Vincent was doing registered. His eyes grew wide and he tilted his head, looking from the bag to Vincent and back again.

"Why…?"

"Take it. There should be more than enough gil to cover everything needed for a nursery. Use whatever is left for other things for the baby."

"You don't have to do this," Tseng said quietly, slowly reaching out to accept the gift. He looked so surprised and embarrassed that Vincent almost smiled. It was nice to be able to break through his composure for once.

"I know. I did not have the chance to do this for my son… Your daughter is lucky to have you, and you should be able to give her everything she needs. You did what I was not able to… and I am grateful that no one will ever be hurt by Hojo again. "

"Thank you…" Tseng said, carefully tucking the pouch inside his jacket and turning several shades of crimson. He seemed unaccustomed to receiving such generosity, and Vincent could have sworn there were tears shining in his eyes. "We won't forget this."

Vincent simply nodded as the former Turk quickly stood and left his office. His mind continued to race with memories and regrets, and he knew he'd never be able to concentrate on his work. He looked down at the paperwork still piled on his desk and made a decision, rising to his feet. It would still be there later, awaiting his return. Right then, all he wanted was to go home to Lucrecia and hold her in his arms.

* * *

((**Author's Note: **There is your answer to who taught Vincent to use a computer. That part was a lot of fun to write. The image of him just baffled by the machine is so funny to me. I'm hoping most of you have checked out _On My Honor _to see who the contact is, if you can't guess. Plus I think it's some of my best writing. Anyway… this period in the fic is the calm before the rest of the storm. It can't ALL be angst and Chaos-attacks, after all. This fic is about Vincent and his struggles, but also the 'transformations' going on for other characters, Junon Harbor, and even Shin-ra. I would say there will be one more chapter, perhaps two… and then the peace will be interrupted. I don't want to rush the story, though, or leave out anything I need to have in there. I had a really cool idea for my next story a few days ago, and it got me very excited. It's set about 6 months after this story ends, so there is a lot of setting up I need to do. My fics all occur in my own little AU I've crafted across more than a decade, and I want to continue to build on it. I will say that the next fic is also centered around Vincent… and contains a tragedy, a new relationship, murder, family, drama and lots more. Can you tell I'm enthused already? Lol… I already had an idea for my next fic that I liked, but then I had _this_ random plot idea while playing Diablo 3, and merged the two together. Now instead of just being the next step in my storyline, it is something I really WANT to write and am already thinking up scenes for. I think it's going to be a ton of fun to work on, and hopefully to read. But, we are far from finished here, so until next time! _~ JenesisX _))


	18. Chapter Seventeen: Nightmares

**Chapter Seventeen: Nightmares**

A little cottage tucked into the hills of Wutai… A perfectly clear and sunny day. Inside, a family gathered in the dining room, preparing for dinner. _His_ family.

The scene played out before him like a movie, though it felt every bit as real as if he were present in the room. Vincent watched as his other self carried a stack of dishes to the table. His hair was longer than it had been when he was a Turk, but both hands remained his own, and his eyes were the warm brown he'd been born with. Behind him, a young Sephiroth followed with his small hands full of utensils, no more than four or five years old. His green eyes glowed with Mako energy, but a wide smile seemed permanently etched across his face.

As Vincent and Sephiroth set the table, Lucrecia appeared carrying a pitcher of iced tea. She was visibly pregnant, and wore the same expression of happiness as her son. Vincent looked up as she entered and smiled, his eyes full of love for her. He stopped what he was doing to take the heavy pitcher from her, setting it down before turning to embrace her. She laughed as she threw her arms around his neck, Sephiroth rolling his eyes at the familiar display.

It was all so perfect, so natural… the way it was supposed to be. It was beautiful to behold, but heart wrenching at the same time. He belonged there with them. The scene should have been a memory, and not a wistful longing for what could have… _should_ _have…_ been. This was his family, as it would have been had he not failed them…

Suddenly, it was gone.

Vincent found himself back in his own body, standing in a dimly lit room painted all in black. It appeared to be empty, until his eyes were drawn to the far corner. There sat a coffin… his coffin from Nibelheim. It's dark wood and elaborate carvings were strangely inviting. He felt drawn to it, taking several steps forward before a new but hauntingly familiar voice reached his ears.

"Go ahead… Go and see."

Vincent turned, looking into the eyes of the child Sephiroth from the cottage. His mouth was turned down into a scowl in sharp contrast to his earlier joy, anger radiating from his pores.

"Go and see what you have done," he urged, his soft voice bitter and far too mature for one his age.

Vincent knew he would regret it, but was unable to resist. He simply _had _to, as if driven onward by an unseen force. He turned and began to approach the coffin, Sephiroth following on his heels. The silence was deafening as he came to stand before it. Slowly, he reached out and ran his fingers across the carvings on the lid, a chill racing down his spine. This was his coffin, but he had a sickening feeling it was not his younger self who occupied it.

"Open it," Sephiroth demanded, standing at Vincent's side with his hands on his hips. "Don't you want to see what's inside?"

Vincent swallowed nervously and began to push the lid aside, briefly closing his eyes and praying that he was wrong. But if he and Sephiroth were there… it left only one possibility.

As he hesitantly opened the coffin, a hand reached out from inside and roughly shoved the lid aside. It clattered to the floor, and Vincent's heart jumped into his throat. He took a quick step backwards, his eyes wide as someone sat straight up much as he had once done. When he saw who it was, his heart stopped once more.

Lucrecia wore a smirk as she turned and looked at him with cold eyes, her gaze burning into his soul. She was naked and her skin was pale, the stitched incision of an autopsy marring her flesh like the tracks of the railway running through Midgar. Her lips were blue and there were dark circles beneath her eyes, and when she reached out to grab a hold of his wrist her touch was as cold as death.

"Vincent, my love," she said, her soft voice sarcastic. "It's a good thing I had you to protect me. Look at what a good job you did!" She looked down at the Y-shaped incision that ran the length of her torso, slowly running a finger along the thick stitches.

"Yeah, 'Dad,'" added Sephiroth, tears running down his cheeks. "You killed my mother, and I hate you! You can try all you want to make it up to me, but you can't. You will _never_ be my father. I wish I was Hojo's son!"

"You were the biggest mistake of my life," Lucrecia continued, shaking her head sadly. "What was I thinking? It's no wonder your own family didn't want you. You're worthless. Now I'm dead, and my son will live a life of suffering… All because you are weak and pathetic."

"No," Vincent managed to reply in a whisper, desperately reaching out for her. "I tried, Lucrecia! I tried to warn you, so many times. I wanted you to leave with me… I wanted to raise Sephiroth as my son even before I knew I was really his father. Even after your death, I tried to rescue him. I did the best I could, but Hojo knew about us and was waiting for me. I tried, I swear to you!"

Lucrecia shrugged away from his touch as laughter echoed through the room. It was a laugh that had haunted Vincent for over thirty years, and his skin instantly began to crawl. Though he did not want to, he was forced to turn around and face the man who had taken everything from him.

"Did someone say my name?" Hojo asked. He looked exactly as he had the night he caught Vincent trying to remove the infant Sephiroth from his laboratory… But there was blood already splattered across his white lab coat, several drops dried onto the thick lenses of his glasses.

Lucrecia rose from the coffin, stepping out to rush into the waiting arms of her husband. Hojo grinned at Vincent over her shoulder as they embraced, running a bony hand through her hair.

"Did this monster hurt you, my love?" Hojo asked, his voice sickeningly sweet. Lucrecia nodded wordlessly as she stepped away, tears in her eyes. Sephiroth ran to her and clung to her hand, still glaring hatefully. "Should I punish him for his failures, then?"

"Yes," Lucrecia replied. "Make him pay for what he's done!"

"No! You don't understand!" Vincent exclaimed, backing up several paces as Hojo approached him. "I love you, Lucrecia! I did my best!"

"Your best has never been good enough… and certainly not for me."

Lucrecia and Sephiroth turned and left the room through an invisible door, leaving him alone with Hojo. Vincent found himself suddenly naked above the waist, and a large knife had appeared in the professor's hand.

"Shall we begin?" Hojo asked with a smirk, echoing his words from the night he'd begun altering Vincent's body. A jolt of agony ran through his left arm, and when he looked down it was flowing blood onto the floor, amputated just above the elbow. He opened his mouth but was unable to scream, staring at the missing limb in horror. This time, when Hojo laughed, the voices of Lucrecia and Sephiroth joined him.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Vincent bolted into a sitting position, a cold sweat coating his body. He was breathing hard and shaking from head to foot, his heart racing in his chest. His skin was crawling and there was a burning sensation in every cell of his being, his vision already sharper than usual and his mind filled with desires that were not his own. He had been having another nightmare, and Chaos was thoroughly enjoying his suffering... So much that the demon was about to break free.

He looked down at his right hand, revolted to find it slowly twisting into a claw. His flesh had taken on a distinct purplish tone, sharp fangs forming within his mouth. It was too late… Chaos had already begun to steal his body, and his emotions were too volatile to fight off the foul creature. When he was at his most vulnerable, the demon was quick to take advantage, and by now it knew his every weakness. The increased frequency of his nightmares over the last few weeks were delightful to Chaos, and Vincent remained so exhausted that he had lost their latest battle before it even began.

He glanced to his right, relieved to find Lucrecia sleeping soundly with a slight smile on her lips. He reached over and tucked the blankets more snugly around her, then quietly slipped out of their bed. He quickly pulled on his shirt, his entire body trembling as he grit his teeth against the pain. With a last glance of sorrow and regret at his sleeping lover, he stumbled from the sanctuary of their bedroom and into the main room of the apartment.

He made it half way across the living room before he doubled over, a sharp bolt of pain tearing through his insides. He bit back a tortured cry and gripped his stomach, taking a deep breath and forcing himself to continue. He had to make it outside and into the night… He could not allow this to happen there. He would rather die than endanger Lucrecia or have her witness a transformation. Determined not to fail her, he forced himself toward the door, quickly slipping into his boots before exiting.

He had barely closed the door behind him when another wave of crippling agony descended upon him, and he fell to his hands and knees at the base of the stairs. He moaned pitifully, his vision tinted red and the muscles of his body straining as they expanded and warped into the twisted form of the demon within. Chaos' desire to break free and fly off into the night to hunt for prey clouded his thoughts, and he knew he must get outside immediately. Vincent dragged himself to his feet, crawling up the steps one at a time as he lost control of his mind and body inch by inch.

When he reached the top, he was unable to contain a cry of pain… the sound a mixture of white hot agony and furious bloodlust. Vincent dragged himself several feet before he collapsed in the empty room on the main floor of the building, unable to make it to the door and out into the freedom of the night. His last thought was of his sleeping lover, praying that she would remain blissfully unaware of what was happening just above her head.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Lucrecia had been sound asleep, but suddenly her eyes snapped open, her entire body tense. Something had startled her awake, and she remained frozen in place staring at the ceiling. She was terrified, and had no idea why. When she finally turned to see if Vincent had been awakened as well, she knew.

He was gone…

Tears burned her eyes as she immediately realized what had happened. Chaos. The demon had come to torment her lover once again, and he'd left her side to protect her. He'd gone off into the night to suffer alone, a kind, gentle man haunted by a violent creature. She reached out and gently touched his pillow, biting her lip and feeling sick to her stomach. She'd hoped that after they'd talked about his transformations, he might be able to find peace, at least for a while. He deserved a break from his endless struggle, to be able to spend a full night at home in his own bed. But life was often unfair, and his had been more so than most…

She was about to lay down again, though she was certain she'd never be able to sleep, when there was a heavy thud on the floorboards directly above. She froze again, looking upward as if to find the source. There was a tense silence, but a moment later a scraping sound reached her ears. It was as if something heavy had fallen, only to be dragged across the floor. Someone, or something, was in the building… and she was alone. She swallowed hard, battling her terror and forcing herself to act.

Lucrecia climbed out of bed, slipping into her robe and quickly locating her glasses and slippers. Every few seconds, she could hear movement above. She considered calling Sephiroth, but after a glance at the clock decided not to disturb him. It was probably nothing… perhaps a stray cat or dog seeking shelter for the night. Even so, she paused before the nightstand, staring at the drawer where Vincent kept his gun. She hated them and was afraid to even touch one, but she opened it and looked down at the three-barreled weapon for long moments. She began to reach for it, then stopped half way. The very sight of the thing was terrifying, and she couldn't make herself do it. With her luck she'd only end up shooting herself.

She closed the drawer and slowly crept into the living room. Moonlight streamed in through the small windows at the very top of the far wall, the main room empty and the door closed… but not locked. Her heart began to race as she approached, intent on securing it and settling in to read until Vincent returned. Her hand was on the knob when she heard it.

A loud, guttural sound, somewhere between a scream and a roar, cut through the stillness of the night. It was the most horrifying noise she'd ever heard, and it seemed to originate just above her head. The worst part was that it almost sounded like Vincent…

She stood frozen with her hand on the doorknob, her pulse pounding at her temples and her body trembling with fear. Could it be…? _Something_ had awakened her and drawn her from the safety of the bedroom, and she was certain the demon had drawn Vincent from their bed just before. He could be suffering upstairs… and she was not about to let him go through it alone yet again.

Lucrecia forced herself to open the door, staring up the tall, dark staircase that led toward the sound. She had never been so frightened in all her life, not even during Sephiroth's birth when things had begun to go terribly wrong. She knew she was heading toward danger, and that what she was doing was reckless, but she felt she had no choice. If there was a chance that Vincent was still there and in pain, she had to go to him. He needed her.

She forced herself up the steps one foot at a time, tightly gripping the railing. Her legs were weak with fear, her stomach alive with anxiety. There was nothing but silence now, a worrying stillness she could feel in every pore. A warning sounded in her mind, repeatedly ordering her to turn back. But a louder voice urged her forward, for him.

When she reached the top of the stairs, she quickly scanned the room, largely relieved to find it empty. She exhaled sharply, wiping a few beads of sweat from her forehead. She moved into the center of the dimly lit room, glancing out one of the dusty windows but finding nothing amiss. She was about to turn and head back downstairs when a flash of red caught her eye.

In the far corner of the room, a pair of glowing red eyes watched her from the shadows. Her mouth dropped open, but she found herself unable to scream as the creature stepped into the moonlight. It was most definitely not a stray animal…

The creature was so tall its head was less than a foot below the ceiling, thick leathery wings spreading out from its back. Its skin was a purplish gray, long fangs peeking out from beneath its lips. Horns adorned the top of its head, adding to the appearance of evil. It had pointed ears and clawed hands and feet, and its glowing red eyes were hauntingly familiar… yet so different. They were full of danger and predatory desire, and they were focused directly on her. The creature growled deep within its throat, tilting its head as it studied her.

"Chaos," she whispered, watching with wide eyes as the demon took one step toward her, then another. She found herself backed into the opposite corner, the demon continuing to approach. It seemed _very _interested, licking its lips with a thick black tongue. She closed her eyes tightly as Chaos stopped just a foot away, praying that this was only a nightmare of her own.

* * *

((**Author's Notes: **Less than a week this time, despite a horrible migraine. Go me! So there you have it, people who kept wanting to see Chaos and/or have him confront Lucrecia. You know how there are days you never should have gotten out of bed? Well, this is hers. I wrote all of this today, once I finally had the idea for Vincent's nightmare. And I left you with an evil cliffhanger! Mwahaha. Haven't done one of those to readers in ages, haha. Fun. Anyway, as usual I'd love to hear from everyone. The next chapter is one of the first two scenes I thought up which led to this fic, so I am excited about that! It's cool to get to those 'big' chapters that start off as movies in my mind, and see them actually turn into part of a story. I hope I did it justice. Til we meet again! ~ JenesisX ))


	19. Chapter Eighteen: Chaos

**Chapter Eighteen: Chaos**

Lucrecia stood frozen in place, terror rooting her to the warped floorboards in the corner of the room. She could hear nothing but the sound of the blood roaring through her veins, her pulse pounding at her temples. She stared helplessly at the large demon who stood just a few feet away, afraid even to blink.

A low growl rumbled through Chaos' broad chest as the creature studied her, its glowing red eyes difficult to read. Time stood still as they faced each other, the demon appearing almost as surprised to find her there as she was to come across it. Could demons even _be_ surprised? Her mind began to race as she remained motionless, wondering what Chaos was thinking as her wide eyes took in its form.

Chaos stood about a foot taller than Vincent, towering over her as its much greater bulk blocked her view of the rest of the room. As she studied the demon, she noted its masculine appearance, solidly muscular with a strong jaw and angular features. Since its host was also male, she quickly concluded that Chaos was a 'he' and not an 'it.' His thick, smooth skin was a grayish purple color, long leathery wings folded against his back in the close quarters. Two tall, pointed horns adorned a hairless head, equally dangerous fangs hanging over his bottom lip. A long, thin tail with a forked tip flicked back and forth behind him as he slowly looked her over from head to foot. His red eyes were hauntingly familiar, a hint of the man he possessed buried beneath the demon's consciousness. Was Vincent still in there, aware of anything that was happening? Lucrecia dearly hoped he had some kind of influence over his alter ego, though from what he'd told her she feared that was not the case.

Lucrecia swallowed nervously, fighting to remain calm once she got over her initial shock. The logical scientist in her battled to process the situation, both fascinated by the being before her and aware that her next actions would determine whether she lived or died. Gods, she couldn't let Chaos hurt her… for Vincent's sake more than her own. If he returned and found her injured by his own hand… or worse… she knew it would destroy him.

She could hear Chaos sniffing the air, trying not to look at the sharp claws of his hands and feet and think about what they were capable of. He tilted his head, a predatory expression reminiscent of a wolf on the hunt shining in his eyes. A predator. Chaos thought like a predator, she reminded herself, and at that moment she was potential prey. She knew she had to act quickly to convince him that she wasn't… or she might end up as his evening meal.

She briefly closed her eyes, swallowing the fear she knew the creature could smell radiating from her pores. She remained as still as possible, though her first instinct had been to scream and run for the door that led back to the safety of her apartment. Remembering Vincent's fears about getting a pet cat, however, she knew that Chaos would see any quick movements as an invitation to chase her down.

Slowly, Lucrecia held up her empty hands, palms facing outwards. Though the very thought was ludicrous, she wanted to show him that she meant no harm. Chaos followed the movement, snorting in her direction before growling again. She forced a smile across her face, wondering if the creature could read human expressions. He _did_ share a body with a human, after all… And if the demon influenced Vincent's thoughts and desires, the reverse might be true as well. It was a theory she knew her life depended upon.

"Hi there," she said softly, the sound of her voice causing the demon to go as still as she remained. "Please don't hurt me…"

Chaos cocked his head to the side, his mind racing behind those familiar red eyes. He was clearly listening, pointed ears pricked as he took in the new sound. She wondered if anyone had ever spoken to him before, finding it doubtful. Lucrecia assumed any human who came across such a creature would have done what came naturally… screaming in terror and running for their life. Thankfully, she had information about the demon beforehand, and the analytic part of her mind allowed her to stop and think before she reacted.

Her resolve to remain calm was sorely tested when, a moment later, Chaos took a step even closer. The floor boards groaned beneath his weight, his tail thumping against the wall to his right. His appeared far more confused and curious than angry, but she was no expert on reading the emotions of a demon. Her eyes widened as he lifted one large hand, the enormous claws he had in place of fingers catching the moonlight and awakening butterflies in the pit of her stomach.

_Oh gods… Please don't do it. This can't be happening! Not after everything we've been through…_

She could only watch as Chaos reached toward her, though his movements were slow and almost cautious. She held her breath as he brought his claw to her shoulder, holding her body as still as a statue and praying her visible trembling would not excite him. She was terrified… and no matter how hard she fought to remain calm, she was certain the creature knew it.

Chaos extended one clawed digit and poked her shoulder, the sharp prick like that of a needle even through her clothing. He snorted again, reminding her of a dragon, before he slowly ran the sharp claw along the fabric that covered her upper arm. His red eyes were focused intently on what he was doing, and though it was uncomfortable it almost seemed as though the demon was being gentle. He was studying her, she realized, trying to figure out what exactly she was and how he should respond. Perhaps there was more thought going on inside his mind than even Vincent was aware of.

As he continued to prod her, Lucrecia remained as still as she could and tried not to flinch. She watched with a mixture of curiosity and dread, wondering what he was going to do next. She never would have expected Chaos to behave this way… Vincent made it sound as though the creature was a mindless, violent beast who existed only to kill and enjoy the taste of blood. The demon before her seemed far more intelligent and thoughtful, using his senses to decide if she was prey or something to be passed by. She wished she could read his mind, hoping she was doing the right thing by allowing him to study her. Not that she had much choice… Her back was pressed against the wall in the corner she'd foolishly gotten trapped in, the demon completely blocking her escape.

She jumped when Chaos suddenly growled again, though it was slightly different in tone than the sound he'd made when he first saw her. Was he trying to communicate in some way? Or was he simply following his instincts and doing what came naturally? She was not sure which, if either, was preferable. She wished she knew more about him… where he had originated and how exactly Hojo had implanted him inside Vincent. Was Chaos born or made? Were there others like him? Did he have a purpose? And if so, did anyone really know what it was? The unanswered questions played through her mind, and she vowed to try to research the subject whether Vincent wanted her to or not. If she lived to get the chance…

"I'm not food," she said quietly, Chaos' eyes briefly meeting hers and sending a chill down her spine. "I'm sure I'd taste terrible… There are a lot of fish and wild animals out by the harbor and on the plains to the East, though. Why don't you go and hunt there, and I'll head back inside and leave you to it?"

She felt foolish for speaking to the creature as if he could understand, but was unable to resist the compulsion to do so. There was an intelligence in his eyes despite his obvious predatory nature and inability to communicate. She knew he was extremely dangerous… He was a very large demon, one that Vincent had told her filled his mind with thoughts of violence and death. But if Chaos' only desire was to kill, why was she not already dead?

"Vincent wouldn't want you to hurt me," she ventured as the demon titled his head. He was listening closely, whether he understood the words or not. "You give him a really hard time, you know. I think you owe it to him to leave me alone…"

Though her voice remained soft and calm, Lucrecia felt a rising anger burning within her as she faced the demon that so tormented the man she loved. She knew Chaos had likely not had a choice in the matter when he was made to share Vincent's body, but she still hated him for what he put her lover through. Without him, Vincent might actually be happy, and their relationship would be so much simpler. She quickly bit down on her negative emotions, not wanting Chaos to pick up on them and react in kind. She had a feeling ticking him off was _not_ a wise idea, no matter how she felt about him and the pain he caused.

Chaos blinked, leaning down so close to her that she could feel his hot breath on her skin. She whimpered despite herself, terrified that he was about to tear her throat out with his fangs. She froze as he began to sniff in earnest, his nose nearly pressed against her flesh as he moved from the base of her neck up along the side of her face. His strange attentions tickled and sent an involuntary shiver down her spine, and she clenched her hands into fists as she fought to remain still. When he passed her ear and reached the top of her head, Chaos inhaled deeply, then leaned back with an almost comically puzzled look on his face. Was it distant recognition… or did she just smell funny?

Lucrecia's heart skipped a beat as Chaos suddenly threw his head back and roared, his deep voice echoing off the walls and raising goose bumps on her skin. She had no time to react as he reached out and grabbed her by the collar of her robe, yelping in terror as he effortlessly plucked her from the floor and into the air. Her slippers fell from her feet as she dangled helplessly, lifted almost to Chaos' eye level.

Gods, had he understood her words after all? Why had she thought it was a good idea to speak to him?! There was a smoldering rage in his eyes as he snarled into her face, his fangs just inches away. She struggled to breathe against his iron grip on her clothing, forcing her to gasp for air. She struggled to swallow, closing her eyes and beginning to pray. She didn't really believe in gods any more, but at that moment she hoped with her whole being that they existed and would see fit to aid her for once in her life. She had never needed their intervention more…

A single tear trailed down her cheek as she forced herself to stare death in the face. Her eyes locked with those of Chaos, their red glow only adding to the fury she saw. He growled dangerously, leaning closer and opening his mouth as if he was about to bite the side of her neck. But as he did so, another falling tear caught his eye. Chaos paused, his gaze shifting to her cheek, watching as it ran down her face like raindrops on a window pane. When their eyes met again, Lucrecia nearly gasped… For just a moment, they were Vincent's eyes. There was such heavy sorrow and regret visible in them that it was nearly a physical presence, though the predatory desires of Chaos still burned just beneath.

And then she was falling. Chaos had released his grip upon her, sending Lucrecia to the floor in a crumpled heap. As she looked up at his towering form from within his shadow, the demon roared and partially spread his leathery wings. He took one long, last look at his discarded prey and turned toward the door, stomping across the aging floorboards until he reached it and squeezed through the frame.

A moment later he was gone, disappearing into the darkness with the sound of his wings beating against the cool night air. Lucrecia remained where she had fallen, too stunned and frightened to move. A few minutes later, when she'd managed to slow her breathing and partially quiet the violent trembling wracking her body, she heard a distant roar echoing from the East. As she shakily climbed to her feet and stared toward the open doorway, she could only hope Vincent would also survive his encounter with Chaos.

* * *

((**Author's Notes: **This was one of the first scene ideas that inspired me to write this fic. I hope my interpretation of Chaos is interesting and perhaps a bit unique. I believe that if he can influence Vincent to a degree, Vincent can also affect the way _he_ thinks and acts now and then… even if he is not aware of it and may not remember. There was a scene early in _Irony of Fate _where Chaos helped fight off Jenova and saved Cid's life (hopefully some of you recall ;) ). Afterwards Cid offered him a cigarette as Chaos stood studying him, and the demon just flew away without harming him. So that was the origin of a lot of my thoughts on how he'd behave when faced with a human… especially one part of him 'knows.' Obviously I was not going to kill off Lucrecia, so I hope no one really wanted me to do something like that to poor Vincent. I really believe he would kill himself if Chaos harmed her. I think I'd get flamed right off ffnet if I wrote THAT alternate ending. Next chapter, find out what, if anything, Vincent remembers about all this… and how Lucrecia reacts when he returns home. Thanks again for all the lovely reviews and favs/follows. I love you guys! _~ JenesisX _))


	20. Chapter Nineteen: Homecoming

**Chapter Nineteen: Homecoming**

((**Author's Note: **This chapter is dedicated to all my friends at the Underground Fanfictioners group on Facebook. We just had our 6 month anniversary, which means I have also been writing again for about as long. I have met many talented writers, and made so many wonderful friends who have encouraged and supported me this year. My straightjacket is now broken in and super comfy, too. ;) Thanks so much, guys, it's been tons of fun and a real honor! Also, a very happy belated birthday to CykeclopsFF7, my lovely beta and very best friend. Love, ~ _Jen_ ))

* * *

Vincent limped through the door of the building he called home, so tired that each step forward took all the effort he could muster. His entire body ached as if he'd been beaten, his muscles burning and protesting with every movement. It had been so tempting along the miles behind him to stop and rest, to curl up on the ground and allow sleep to claim him. But he fought onward, needing to get home to Lucrecia even more.

At the same time, he dreaded having to face her. She had tried so hard to help him, to accept how different and strange he'd become. She reached out to him when he was too afraid to ask for help, working to make him feel loved and accepted. Yet within days, he had allowed Chaos to rip away his control once again. How could he be so weak, when Lucrecia had done nothing but share the strength of her love? He had been feeling better about things between them, though he still worried that she would not be able to follow through with her promises if she actually witnessed the foul demon emerging before her… or knew just what kind of thoughts often intruded into his consciousness. He couldn't let her see how horrific the transformations were as the man she loved was swallowed up by Chaos. That fear continued to weigh heavily on his mind, allowing the demon to prey on his fears. And it had won yet again…

She ought to be furious with him, he thought, crossing the room and pausing at the top of the stairs that led down to their apartment. He had betrayed her, abandoned her in the night and gone off to commit gods only knew what atrocities. He could remember nothing after collapsing in agony and trying to crawl out the door. He must have made it outside, since Chaos had taken him many miles East of town during its rampage. He was relieved that he'd gotten out of the house and away from his love in time to protect her. He could not bear to think of what might have happened if he'd failed.

He gazed down the stairwell, suddenly unable to continue. He wanted… needed… to rest his battered mind and body, yet fear left him frozen in place. In his mind, he could see the anger and disappointment in Lucrecia's beautiful green eyes, her mouth turned downward as she sorrowfully shook her head. She'd believed in him, trust him… and this was how he repaid her. How could her face her again? Did he even dare try to explain? The explanation didn't even matter, he told himself, filled with self loathing and despair. It never should have happened.

He closed his eyes and sighed heavily, realizing that putting it off would only make things worse. He owed it to her to return as soon as possible so she could stop worrying. And if she was angry, he would take it. There was no fight left in him, and he knew she had every right to be furious. He still feared she would leave him, unable to cope any longer no matter how devoted she tried to be. Was she down there packing her things at that very moment? Maybe she was already gone…

Fear twisted his stomach in its icy grip, and he grit his teeth as he forced himself to start down the stairs. Waiting would solve nothing, and he was tired of being a coward. This time, he would face his problems no matter how much it hurt. When he reached the bottom and continued down the short hallway to the door, he paused one last time. With his hand on the doorknob, he prayed that somehow she would still be there, and would see fit to give him just one more chance. He knew he did not deserve it, but also knew that he could not go on without her. So nervous that he nearly forgot how sore and exhausted he was, he took a deep breath before opening the door.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

The sound of the door creaking open was enough to jolt Lucrecia from her slumber, and she nearly fell off the couch when the sound jolted her back to consciousness. She had not realized she'd fallen asleep, and certainly hadn't intended to. Her book tumbled to the floor with a thud as she sat upright, pushing her glasses back onto her nose. She blinked sleepily, annoyed with herself for dozing off. She glanced at the clock, seeing that is was nearly noon and wondering just how long she'd been asleep. Her nights had been interrupted more often than not as of late, and it was taking its toll.

She shifted her gaze to the doorway, watching as Vincent slipped inside their apartment. He kept his back to her, his movements soundless as he removed his cloak and boots. He was moving very slowly, as if he could barely muster the energy. She was relieved that he appeared to be unharmed, though she knew he'd had a long and difficult night.

The urge to go to him and take him in her arms collided with a sudden chill, and she remained seated as if held there by an invisible force. Her eyes were locked on Vincent, but in her mind she still saw Chaos. Though the demon had not hurt her, their encounter was terrifying and impossible to forget. She could still hear his roar and see the predatory look in his eyes as he studied her, almost about to feel the prick of his claws through her clothing. When he had plucked her from the ground, she'd been certain she was about to die, and her heart began to race all over again. Lucrecia quickly shook her head, scolding herself and biting down on her fear before her mind got carried away. This was _Vincent_ now, not the creature who had stolen his body. He would never hurt her, and would give his life to protect her without a second thought. She was _not _going to be afraid of him, or allow what happened the previous evening to change how she felt. She had made him that promise, and she loved him too much to break it.

She rose to her feet as he finally turned and saw her there, quickly averting his eyes. He lowered his head to stare at the floor, remaining just inside the doorway as if he couldn't find the strength to move any farther. His hair hid his face from view, the red bandana he normally wore on the night table where he'd left it. She could feel the tension in the room as she approached him, pushing her own nervousness aside. Lucrecia didn't want that tension and awkwardness to exist between them any more, no matter what happened. And if Vincent was too worried and unsure of himself to take the first step, she would have to do it for them.

"I missed you," she said softly, stopping a few feet away. She didn't want to crowd him, remembering how he seemed to want nothing more than to be left alone to sleep following past transformations. "I'm really glad you're home."

Vincent partially raised his head, peering out at her from behind his bangs. He raised an eyebrow, looking so surprised she couldn't help but smile. When she did, she heard him sigh with relief, some of the tension in the air melting away. He lifted his head the rest of the way but still could not look at her, his eyes focused somewhere over her head. His posture remained stiff, his hands clenched in fists at his sides. He didn't seem to know what he should do, frozen in place and unable to respond. Lucrecia took a step closer, reaching out to run a hand from his shoulder and down along his arm, gazing upward and trying to meet his eyes.

"There's nothing to worry about," she told him, feeling how rigid his muscles were beneath her hand. "I'm not mad at you, baby. I'm just glad you're okay and made it back safely."

His eyes shifted and finally met hers, the surprise evident despite their weariness. "… But I left you again," he nearly whispered. "I was not strong enough to control it…"

In response, Lucrecia stepped forward and tightly embraced him, hiding her face against him so he wouldn't see the tears in her eyes. Her heart bled for him. His life was a continual struggle against the demon inside him, and after actually meeting Chaos she had a new appreciation for just how hard he had to fight. But all he could see were the times when the creature overpowered him, so ashamed of himself that he could barely look at her. How she wished he understood that he had done nothing to deserve what was done to him, and that he ought to be so proud of himself for living a relatively normal life. He was successful at his job, a loyal member of a powerful team, a passionate and supportive lover, and even learning how to be a father. He had such quiet strength, yet he remained blind to everything he'd accomplished. She was determined to spend the rest of her life trying to drill those things into his head, no matter how frustrating it was. She knew her words alone would never be enough to convince him, however, praying that someday something would.

Vincent remained tense as she held him, but she clung to him as if afraid he would vanish again if she let go. She had an almost desperate need to touch him, to feel that he had returned to her and was back to normal. He was her sweet and gentle lover again, all thoughts of Chaos chased away by the familiar contact. There was no hint of the demon's presence, and she refused to allow herself to fear Vincent… especially when he needed her so much. She knew the man in her arms was almost always able to control the demon, and before recently she had rarely seen any signs of the unpredictable creature lurking beneath the surface. He had always protected her no matter what the cost to himself, and she knew he always would. Lucrecia always felt safest when she was with him, both in the past and present, and nothing would change that. She hoped he could feel it as they stood together, because she was too choked up to find the words.

Finally, she felt him exhale and begin to relax, though he never raised his arms from his sides. She took a moment to calm herself, allowing her relief at his return to wash over her like a warm blanket. When Lucrecia finally released him, she took a step back and studied him closely. He watched her warily as she scanned him for injuries, satisfied when she could not find any. The bottoms of his pants looked as if they had been wet and were still damp, but otherwise Vincent and his clothing remained clean and intact. If she hadn't seen him return and known where he'd been all night, she never would have realized anything was different. At a glance, at least. The exhaustion was clear in his heavy eyes and the slumped way he stood, his expression that of a guilty puppy who had displeased the one he loved most. When he finally shifted his weight, he winced as if the movement caused him a great deal of pain. Lucrecia frowned and reached out for his hand, tugging lightly on his arm and leading him toward the couch.

"Come and sit down… You look so tired."He resisted for a moment, then finally followed after her and carefully lowered himself into the cushions. She heard him moan quietly, standing in front of him and running a hand through his wild hair.

"Are you in pain?" she asked, wanting to do whatever she could to ease his discomfort. She also wanted to get him talking so he wouldn't simply slip into a deep sleep without communicating again. She had allowed him to hide himself away for too long, and it had done nothing but hurt their relationship. Despite how shy and unsure of herself she was, she knew that she had to be the strong one between them.

"Yes," came the quiet reply as he closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. "I always hurt… afterwards."

"I'm so sorry," she said, summoning all of her self control so she wouldn't cry. It would only make him feel worse. "I'll go and get you something to help, okay?"

He nodded weakly and leaned back into the cushions, closing his eyes as she turned and crossed the room. She approached the small refrigerator in the corner that passed for their kitchen, opening it and removing a bottle of water. She next opened the small cabinet above, her eyes passing over several different medications before she found something that would ease his suffering. If Vincent readily admitted he was hurting, she knew he had to be in a great deal of pain. She had seen him battered and bruised many times after missions with the Turks, and he'd hardly seemed bothered. This time he was unable to hide it even though he appeared unscathed, and she could only imagine how much having a giant demon emerge from your body must hurt. She had no idea _how_ a transformation actually occurred, and while very curious, she had a feeling she didn't really want to know.

She removed a bottle of strong pain medication she'd been given a few weeks earlier, when she'd twisted her ankle while stumbling off a stepstool. She knew Vincent had taken the same medication before, not caring that one was not supposed to share a prescription. He was in pain, and relieving it quickly was what mattered. The medication would also help him rest so he could recover, and she removed two of the round white pills after reading the label. She couldn't stand to see him like this, focusing on what she needed to do so she wouldn't break down and cry.

She brought the bottle of water and the pills back to the couch and sat beside him, hoping he had not already fallen asleep. Vincent did not stir for a moment, but finally his heavy eyes opened and he turned his head to watch her. He looked so miserable and defeated, and she bit her lip to maintain her self control.

"Here," she said, holding out the plastic bottle. "You're probably dehydrated, and I got you something for the pain."

He sat up slowly, wincing again as he reached out and took the water. He drank half of it in seconds after removing the lid, accepting the pills and swallowing them without question. He trusted her to take care of him, or perhaps he was simply too tired to care what she'd given him. He downed the rest of the water and set the empty bottle aside, sighing wearily and closing his eyes again.

Lucrecia slipped an arm around him and leaned in against his shoulder, the need to touch him still strong within her. He may have been suffering, but he was himself again, and he was safe. She wanted him to know that she still loved and trusted him, and would do whatever she could to be there when he needed her.

"Do you remember anything? About last night?" she asked softly, covering his right hand with hers. She wasn't sure which answer was preferable, or what she ought to tell him about her encounter with Chaos.

"No," he mumbled, as if even speaking was an enormous effort. His sounded a bit hoarse as well, the memory of the demon's roar rising to the surface of her mind before she hastily pushed it away. "I had a nightmare and awoke… with Chaos in the process of emerging. The last I remember is going upstairs and crawling toward the door…"

Gods, he didn't remember. Lucrecia hesitated before responding, her heart racing in her chest. He really had no idea that she'd come face to face with Chaos, assuming he'd made it outside and away from their home before completely transforming. She closed her eyes and tried to decide what to do, tightly gripping his hand and hoping he could not sense her discomfort.

Lucrecia knew he would be embarrassed if he realized she had seen him that way, and terrified for her safety as well. She feared he would want to separate himself from her so it wouldn't happen again, and that was the last thing she wanted. She needed to be with him as much as possible, and could not imagine trying to sleep without him beside her. They had been working hard to become closer as a couple, and if Vincent knew she had met Chaos it would only cause him to pull away. Neither one of them would survive such a separation, and it would only allow the demon to have exactly what he wanted. Vincent would never be able to fight him on his own, not with how depressed he would become should he lose her a second time. Lucrecia would never allow that to happen.

On the other hand, would telling him that Chaos had chosen not to hurt her allow him to worry less? He may be unhappy she had witnessed that side of him, but she had walked away unscathed. The fact that the demon had spared her once did not necessarily mean he would do the same if they met again, however. No, she decided, feeling Vincent lean heavily against her body as his eyes remained closed. He was in no condition to handle such information, and she knew he would only use it against himself.

_He already feels so guilty… and he'd be horrified. I probably shouldn't keep it from him, but… No, I can't. Not now… Maybe not ever._

It was better that way, Lucrecia tried to convince herself, pushing away the guilt she felt for not being honest with already had enough on his mind, and at that moment he needed to rest. She badly needed to prove to him that she really would accept his transformations as part of who he was, but informing him that she'd met his personal demon face to face would only upset him. The last thing she wanted was for him to distance himself from her again, or to feel worse about himself than he already did. She felt like she was just getting the man she loved back after weeks of turmoil, and she was desperate not to lose him again.

Vincent was falling asleep where he sat, and though she wanted to talk to him further, she knew it was not the time. When he woke, she could spend as long as was necessary reassuring him and showing him how much she loved him. Right now, he needed to go to bed. She was still tired herself, and the idea of climbing beneath the covers with him for a good, long nap was highly appealing.

She gently moved away from him and climbed to her feet, his eyes opening half way as he fought to remain conscious. She smiled and leaned down to help him up, slipping one arm around his waist and allowing him to lean heavily on her. The medication seemed to have taken affect, most of the pain in his expression replaced by sheer exhaustion.

"I'm putting you to bed, and we can talk more after you rest," she told him, slowly leading him to their bedroom. He didn't protest, remaining on his feet by willpower alone. He was too tired and sore to bother changing his clothing, so she simply pulled back the covers and helped him climb in. She took a moment to text Sephiroth, letting him know that Vincent would be out of commission for a while and to handle any security matters that might come up. After silencing the PHS and removing her glasses, she turned and found that her lover was already sound asleep, sprawled on his back with one arm stretched out invitingly in her direction.

She stood and studied his sleeping form, filled with a mixture of affection and sorrow. She hated what Hojo had done to him, and how much he had to suffer. But for now, at least, he appeared to be at peace. Lucrecia allowed herself a rare moment of pride, having held herself together when faced with Chaos and still managing to be there for Vincent when he returned. Maybe she really _had _grown stronger since her rebirth, determined not to repeat past mistakes and to be the best partner she could. He deserved no less, and this time she would not let him down.

Lucrecia finally crawled into bed and settled in the crook of his arm, careful not to disturb him. He wrapped his arm around her almost instinctively, never stirring from his sleep. She laid her head on his chest and draped am arm across his body, pulling the comforter over top of them. She closed her eyes and listened to the sound of his slow heartbeat, hoping that this time his rest would remain undisturbed.

* * *

((**Author's Note: **Well, I met my self-imposed one week deadline this time. Yay. I expect that will be the norm for the most part. Anyway, Vincent has no memory of Chaos' meeting with Lucrecia, and she decided to spare him and keep it to herself. Good idea, or not? You can't keep a secret like that forever, and sometimes they have a way of coming to light at the _worst_ possible time. At least for the moment, the poor guy is at peace and getting in a nice nap. Things have been looking up a bit for me, too, though I have to go for a bunch of tests for different things soon. Gonna be spending some time in an MRI and then probably a CAT scan machine. FUN. Time to think up fics, though! Going to see if I can't do a timed challenge or two this week, and wrap up Dark Nation Goes To the Vet. I've been feeling motivated lately, and have been getting a lot of new follows and favorites. So I'd like to repay the love by giving you all more to read. Anyway, hope you enjoyed, and 'see' you all soon! _~ JenesisX _))


	21. Chapter Twenty: Recovery

**Chapter Twenty: Recovery**

Vincent remained completely still as he slowly came back to consciousness. He kept his eyes closed, using his other senses to determine where he was before moving. He'd grown used to awakening in odd and sometimes dangerous locations following battles with Chaos, and he now assumed he might be in such a place before letting on to anyone or thing nearby that he was awake.

It was quiet, and the surface beneath his body was soft and warm. He lay flat on his back with his right arm stretched out at his side, his claw resting heavily on his chest. There was a pillow beneath his head, and a thick comforter covered him to his waist. There was no breeze or sunlight on his skin, and his heightened sense of smell informed him that he was inside a familiar place. He was home.

Vincent sighed with relief as he slowly sat up in bed, his memory finally awakening along with the rest of him. He had transformed again, then made his way home. He had no idea how much time had passed since Lucrecia helped him to bed, glancing up at the small window just below the ceiling and finding that the sun was setting. Lucrecia was no longer beside him, but he sensed that she was close by.

He ran his hand back through his wild hair, reaching out to take his bandana from the nightstand. He tied it on and took a moment to stretch his arms over his head, loudly cracking his neck and wincing at how sore he remained. So many transformations close together were taking a painful toll on his body as well as his mind, and he frowned with disgust at himself. There was simply no reason it should still be happening… Lucrecia had told him she understood, and that she would never leave. Things between them were better than ever. What more could he ask for? Why did he continue to worry that she'd run should she ever witness what he truly was? It felt as if the more he fought to keep from losing her, the closer he came to making it so.

He pushed back the blanket and carefully climbed out of bed, still a bit disoriented and light headed. Once he was satisfied that he was steady on his feet, he opened the drawer of the nightstand and retrieved his PHS. When he checked his messages, he was surprised to find one from Sephiroth, replying to something he had sent earlier… only he had no memory of doing so. After scrolling through the conversation's history, he realized that Lucrecia had contacted their son upon his return home, asking him to cover for him while he was asleep. He stared at the message for long moments, embarrassed but also touched that she had done so. She'd thought of everything.

He quickly messaged their son again, letting him know he was awake and able to handle security matters once more. He also made a mental note to locate a PHS for Lucrecia as soon as possible. He'd been meaning to do so, so she would have a way to contact him when he was at work, and to communicate with Sephiroth and Aeris when she wished. It was also unwise to leave her home alone with no way to call for help should she need it, and he cursed himself for the oversight. There had just been so much on his mind…

He slipped the device into his pocket, leaving it set to vibrate. With his powerful senses, the sound from that setting was louder than a ring tone to someone normal. He glanced at the bedroom door, left open a crack with a small beam of light trailing through. Vincent stood in place as if paralyzed, scolding himself for feeling so uneasy. He didn't understand why Lucrecia had been so kind to him when he finally dragged himself home, nursing after him and making him feel wanted and loved. He'd expected her to be cold at best, furious and ready to leave him at worst. She had surprised him yet again, and he somehow knew she'd spent many hours at his side while he rested. But why? He'd let her down again, and he hadn't deserved her in the first place.

He exhaled sharply to push away his doubts, briefly closing his eyes before summoning his courage and opening the door. He immediately located Lucrecia across the long, narrow main room of their basement apartment. She was seated on the couch with her legs tucked beneath her, balancing a laptop computer across her thighs. He stood in the doorway and watched as his expression relaxed into a fond smile, waiting for her to notice him. She was peering at the screen as if very interested in something, however, completely lost in concentration.

"Entertaining yourself, I see." He cringed when she jumped and nearly dropped the device, her head jerking in his direction as she gasped in surprise. "Sorry… I did not mean to startle you."

"It's all right," she said with a nervous laugh, setting the laptop on the coffee table and adjusting her glasses. "You're just so quiet! And I didn't realize you were awake. How are you feeling?"

"Sore… but all right," he replied, feeling awkward as he approached her. He pointed toward the laptop, raising a questioning eyebrow. "Where did you get that?"

"Oh… Sephiroth brought it by last night. He thought I'd enjoy having something to do other than reading, and he showed me how I can e-mail him!"

Vincent got the distinct impression there was more to it than that, but something else she'd said caught his attention first. "Last night? But I was…"

"Vincent, you came home _yesterday_ afternoon, and you've been asleep ever since. It's been a day and a half."

His eyes widened in horror as he stood at the edge of the couch, feeling unable to join her. He swallowed hard and looked down at his feet, even more ashamed than before. "Gods… I'm sorry," he whispered, shaking his head in disgust. "I did not realize…"

"Hey, it's all right," Lucrecia said, her quiet voice soothing. "Come here, love."

He reluctantly lifted his gaze and met her eyes, drawn in by the love and support she was offering. Though he knew he didn't deserve it and should be left alone to suffer, he did as she asked and sat beside her, leaving a foot of distance between them. He heard Lucrecia sigh, and she shook her head disapprovingly as she moved closer and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"You really need to stop beating yourself up all the time," she said, smiling gently to take the sting out of her words. "I told you it doesn't change how I feel about you. I'm not upset in the least… Once you were home safe, I was happy. I know you were hurting and needed to rest, and I've been fine amusing myself. I slept with you for a lot of the time, and I'm having fun playing with my new toy. It's really okay… I just want you to relax and stop worrying."

He heard the words and knew how genuine they were, but Vincent still struggled to believe they could possibly be true. He knew she loved him, but he also knew he'd put that emotion to far greater tests in the last few months than most relationships endured in decades.

"Thank you for not getting angry, and for taking care of me," he said, finally feeling comfortable enough to slip his arm around her. The words did nothing to express what he really felt, but after how poorly he'd been communicating as of late, he knew he at least had to try.

"That's just what you do when you love someone," she said with a smile, leaning in against him and moving her hand to his chest. "And next time you need me, I'll gladly do it again."

They lapsed into a comfortable silence, and Vincent was relieved to find it held none of the awkwardness they'd battled in recent weeks. They were simply a couple in love, enjoying each other's warmth and companionship. He pulled her closer, sighing contently as she laid her head on his shoulder. He could almost forget that somewhere inside him a demon lurked, awaiting its next opportunity to emerge.

"Vincent?" Lucrecia asked after several minutes had passed, her soft voice interrupting his reflections. "Can I ask you something… unpleasant?"

"You can ask me anything," he said quietly, though her words and nervous tone set him on edge. A familiar sick feeling settled into the pit of his stomach as he wondered what she wanted to know. He'd been trying so hard to forget what he was and enjoy their time together, but it seemed something more serious remained on his lover's mind.

"I'm sorry, baby, but it's… about Chaos. I just want to help you… so I was hoping to learn a little more about him…?"

Vincent fought to control his expression, his heart rate increasing and his face coloring a bit pink. He hated to talk about the foul demon, especially to her. "Him? Chaos is _not_ a person…"

Lucrecia frowned, biting her lower lip as if about to say something. But after a moment, she simply shook her head and shrugged. "Well… He lives in _your_ body, and it's just easier than saying 'it' all the time. Do you really mind?"

"I suppose not… Go on."

"Do you… remember how he was joined with you? Or know anything about where he came from? I never heard of such a thing while I worked in the lab, but I know now that was only one of the things that was kept from me…"

Vincent's mind was immediately propelled back to the night Hojo had changed him, gritting his teeth as unwanted images assaulted his mind. He quickly fought against them, focusing on the feel of Lucrecia's hand on his chest, reminding himself that they were together, safe, in the present. He hoped she was unable to tell how the simple question had affected him, though from her worried expression he had a feeling she knew well.

"No," he finally answered, hating how his voice wavered every so slightly. "I remember nothing after… he tortured me for a while before removing my arm. My next memory is of awakening in my coffin, with Chaos' presence already inside me."

Lucrecia's eyes filled with tears, and she definitely looked sorry she'd asked. She raised her hand to gently caress his cheek, several tears escaping and trailing down her face. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, and he quickly looked away so he wouldn't have to see her cry. "I know it's hard to talk about, but I was just hoping… There has to be _something _I can do to help you! A scientist did this to you, so a scientist should be able to reverse it. If I can learn more about him, I might-"

"No!" Vincent quickly interrupted, the force behind the exclamation enough to make her jump and withdraw her hand. He felt his body begin to tremble as his mind raced with images of surgical tables and saws, needles and probes. He squeezed his eyes closed, taking a moment to regain control of himself. When he opened his eyes, he found Lucrecia staring at him with concern, though she also looked a bit afraid. He frowned at his own weakness, tightening his arm around her. "I'm sorry… I know you mean well, but the idea of anything more being done to my body… I can't."

Lucrecia slowly moved her hand back to rest just over his heart, nodding her understanding and sniffling away her tears. "I didn't think of that… I'm sorry. I would never try to pressure you into anything, you know that. But even still, I think it would be helpful to learn more about where Chaos came from if possible, don't you? It might help you learn how to fight him off better so you don't have to suffer like this."

Vincent made a noncommittal sound, wanting to change the subject but too shaken to do so. He tried to relax again and regain the peaceful feeling he'd briefly found in her arms, but his memories waged war against him. Chaos' violent desires whispered inside his mind, and he felt his clawed hand curl into a fist at his side. His chest felt tight and he began to struggle to get enough air, a rising panic gripping his insides. He stared into his lap with unseeing eyes, and though his body remained on the couch with Lucrecia, his mind was suddenly locked in a battle between his past and the demon within.

"Vincent? Vincent, can you hear me?"

His head suddenly snapped up and he turned to meet her eyes, blinking rapidly as if just awakened from a dream. No, this had been a nightmare, one of the many he suffered even without being asleep. From discussions he'd had with Aeris about his son the previous year, he knew Sephiroth had similar episodes. He had not confided in her about his own experiences, feeling that her full attention and concern belonged with her husband. He was not quite sure what they were, exactly, but they seemed to be flashbacks or panic attacks of some kind. They made him feel weak and unsettled, closer to insane than he already feared he might be.

"Yes…" he finally managed to answer after a long pause, though he'd heard her voice as if from a great distance. His mind and body felt separate from each other, as if a heavy fog separated them.

"Vincent, you're shaking…"

He felt her move in closer against him, trying to slow his breathing and calm himself before anything worse could happen. "It's nothing," he told her, though he didn't sound convincing even to his own ears. "My mind… It wanders sometimes. I'm all right."

"I'm sorry I brought that up for you," she said knowingly, as if she realized exactly what had happened. "We don't have to talk about any of that any more, at least for now. Maybe I can help take your mind off of it?" She ran her hand along his neck and to the back of his head, easing him down to gently kiss his lips. It was definitely hard to continue thinking about anything else as he leaned over to return it, and soon he was breathless for another reason entirely.

Lucrecia giggled at the look of surprise he wore when she climbed across him to straddle his lap, their eyes locking for just a moment before she kissed him again, far more passionately than before. Vincent had no doubt what was on her mind, and his didn't take much more encouragement to follow her lead. She'd just begun to unbutton his shirt when an unwanted sensation intruded upon the moment.

Vincent both heard and felt the PHS in his pocket vibrate, swearing mentally and directing angry thoughts in the sender's direction. He was tempted to simply ignore it, but after neglecting his duties so much as of late, he knew he really shouldn't. He reluctantly leaned back from his lover, holding up one hand to pause the romantic scene unfolding between them.

"What is it?" she asked as she studied him, her expression puzzled and more than a little disappointed.

"Someone is messaging me, and it may be important since I've been unavailable," he said apologetically, managing to reach into his pocket to retrieve the device. He groaned when he opened the new message and scanned its contents. "A reminder for the Avalanche meeting tomorrow morning," he explained, frowning. A team gathering was about the last thing he felt like doing or thinking about at the moment.

Lucrecia giggled as he tossed the PHS aside, shivering as he ran his normal hand along her back and kissed along the side of her neck. "You always did hate meetings."

"They're just so boring," he complained against her, lifting his head to watch her hands as she returned to the task of unbuttoning his shirt.

"And you worry that you aren't a normal man any more," Lucrecia said with a seductive smile, leaning in to kiss him as she slipped the garment from his shoulders. "You don't want to be interrupted when you're with a pretty girl, and you hate mandatory meetings. Sounds pretty normal to me!"

* * *

((**Author's Notes**: Well, this is what passes for normal for these two, anyway. ;) Lucrecia *almost* told him she'd met Chaos, but seemed unable to go through with it. Why do you suppose she *really* got that laptop all of a sudden? Hmmm… Anyway, after (we can safely assume) Vincent enjoys himself here, he will actually have to leave home and attend that horrid meeting. The idea of him bored stupid through all of the previous ones I've written for the team greatly amuses me. And Cloud thought he was just staring at the wall all the time because he's weird! I think this chapter might push me over 200 reviews, which is like… incredible and shocking. YAY! I love you guys, and really appreciate it! Well, that's a wrap for now. Cheers. _~ JenesisX _))


	22. Chapter Twenty One: Peace

**Chapter Twenty One: Peace**

Vincent sat at the conference table with his eyes closed, trying to drown out the commotion surrounding him. How he wished other people realized just how loud they were… or at least, remembered how sensitive his hearing was and tried even a little to keep it down in his presence. It was a large part of the reason he so seldom left home unless he had to. The light, the noise, all of the various smells mixing together… it was all too much and quickly overloaded his heightened senses. When one added the fact that everyone tended to stare at him, and that he'd always been rather shy and awkward to begin with, it made the prospect of socializing more akin to torture.

At least his family understood. He took a moment to digest the thought that he actually had one now, the idea still new and strange. He'd noticed that Lucrecia's voice had steadily grown softer since she'd moved in with him, and she'd easily adapted to the dim lighting of their basement dwelling, content to read beneath the tall lamp next to the couch. She'd even been slowly adjusting her sleep schedule to become somewhat nocturnal. Sephiroth, seated to his left with his arms folded impatiently across his chest, was already extremely quiet and seemed just as prone to migraines as Vincent. And Aeris was frighteningly perceptive, knowing just how to behave to set almost anyone at ease. He had to admit that having at least a few people who partially understood him was a comfort.

And then there was everyone else.

Cid was loudly teasing Yuffie about her time spent with the refugee Turks, and she was shrieking her protest across the table. Cid smelled like a box of tobacco drenched in grease, and when it mixed with whatever perfume Tifa was wearing it began to make Vincent nauseous. He tried not to notice the slightly animalistic odor coming from Red at his right, glad he didn't eat often enough to have to worry about vomiting. Someone had a bit of body odor as well, though in the noxious mixture he couldn't quite pinpoint its location.

"I hate these meetings," Sephiroth grumbled beside him, as if reading his thoughts. Surprised, Vincent slowly opened his eyes and turned to look at him, allowing a slight smile to cross his face.

"I much agree… It's unpleasant to be crowded into a small room with so many people." He lifted his normal hand to rub his a spot at the center of his forehead, a growing ache already settling in behind his eyes.

"Guys!" Aeris exclaimed as the racket surrounding them grew steadily louder, lowering her voice to a much quieter volume once the young ninja and the pilot had closed their mouths in mid argument. "Indoor voices," she said with a smile, shifting her eyes pointedly to the right toward her unhappy companions.

"Oops, sorry!" Yuffie said with a slight blush, though her high pitched voice still tore into Vincent's brain. Cid only rolled his eyes, but he did finally stop tormenting her and instead turned and started a conversation with Barret that wasn't much quieter.

"I tried," Aeris said with a shrug, her eyes sympathetic as she leaned back in her chair to look at Vincent.

Vincent nodded his gratitude, then closed his eyes again and tried to focus on Sephiroth and Aeris' quiet conversation regarding taking his dog Blade to the beach after the meeting adjourned. He was glad to hear them speak of something so normal, and his mind immediately returned to the last time _he'd _been to the beach. He almost began to smile, but quickly caught himself before anyone noticed. He didn't need Yuffie telling the whole group that he'd 'gotten lucky' again.

Cloud finally entered the room, dropping a stack of papers onto the desk with an echoing crash. Vincent frowned in annoyance, the pleasurable memory he'd been enjoying interrupted. But at least now the meeting could start so he could escape from the smothering room and return home to Lucrecia. Perhaps he'd suggest they take another moonlit walk that evening…

"Sorry guys," Cloud said, and thankfully everyone finally quieted and settled into their seats. "This little old lady accosted me right as I got to the door, and she went on and on about how loud some group of kids play outside her window. Oh. My. Gods. Then she started telling me about her cat and his hairball problem…"

"Haha! Cloud has a girlfriend!" Yuffie exclaimed, giggling at his misery.

"Cloud has a _wife_," Tifa reminded her, grinning. "I'll have to give that old bitty a piece of my mind if she thinks she can steal him away!"

Cloud rolled his eyes, straightening his paperwork and briefly shuffling through the stack. "Okay! Let's get started, shall we?"

"Yes please…" Vincent muttered, causing Sephiroth to snicker beside him. No one else seemed to hear his frustrated comment, however, and Cloud continued with a satisfied nod when he had everyone's attention.

"All right, we have several things to go over this morning, but it shouldn't take too long," he said, running his eyes down a handwritten list on a sheet of notebook paper. "Let's start with our pet Turks. Aeris and Yuffie, how's it been going supervising them with their assignments?"

Yuffie jumped in before Aeris had a chance to even open her mouth. "I propose we give Tseng a raise out of whatever we're giving Reno, then make _him _clean every single toilet on this entire base!" she exclaimed, frowning. "He is _such_ a pain in the ass, and Tseng does all the work when I have them together. Rude is okay, unless Reno gets him started. And I haven't really worked with Elena since she doesn't have to do anything physical or dirty."

"Rude is a really good gardener," Aeris added with an amused grin. "He actually enjoys it, so with Elena helping us we've gotten a lot done making the base more pleasant and homey. And actually, on days I've had all of the boys down at the harbor cleaning, they've all been cooperative and worked really hard. Reno complains a lot, and there _was_ the incident with that photo being sent around, but…"

She blushed, and Vincent shook his head, recalling how he'd had to talk his son out of killing both Reno and Rude, and possibly Cid as well. He couldn't say he blamed him, and knew he'd have been just as unhappy in his place.

"Da beach does look a lot better," Barret said. "I can take Marlene down dere to play in the sand and look for shells now, but I don' let her in dat water yet."

"It has improved a great deal, and should continue to keep them busy and out of trouble for a long time," Vincent agreed, briefly returning to his earlier memory. It was harder not to smirk this time, but he just managed. He had a feeling no one at the table would have ever believed he enjoyed such things. They still didn't seem able to wrap their minds around the fact that a woman was actually living with him. Whether they were shocked because of his public demeanor, or because they couldn't believe anyone would be interested in someone like him that way, he wasn't sure he wanted to know. If they only knew…

"I'm getting really positive reports from Joseph Fisher, too," Cloud said, referring to the elderly mayor of the small fishing town below the base. "He says his people are thrilled with what we're doing, and that they're starting to see birds nesting in the area and small schools of fish again."

"That's great!" Aeris exclaimed, sounding almost tearful with joy. Vincent saw Sephiroth reach out and cover one of her hands with his gloved one, quietly supporting her. "That makes it all worth it!"

Cloud grinned, nodding his agreement. "I'm really proud of everyone. Make sure you pass that on to the Turks, too. I may not be their biggest fan, but they've been really working hard and behaving themselves, too. I guess they really were being genuine…"

Vincent had a sudden immature urge to say 'I told you so,' but after his last run-in with their leader he knew it wasn't wise. He noticed the way Cloud occasionally glanced at him and quickly looked away, a visible fear in his eyes. He sighed inwardly, knowing he would have to address the situation sooner or later. He never would have laid a hand on him under normal circumstances, but with as strongly as Chaos had been influencing him as of late, he hadn't been able to help it. He'd stood by for far too long while others made disparaging remarks about his son, but that was _not_ the way he wished he would have handled it.

"Speaking of which… Vincent, you had your meeting with Tseng and this mysterious contact of Tseng's?"

Vincent nodded, quickly pushing the troubling thoughts away and trying to focus. He shifted uncomfortably as all eyes settled upon him, hating to be stared at even when it was for a good reason. He always felt as if he was being judged, though he admitted he hadn't done a thing about his appearance to try to look more normal and likely prevent much of it. He didn't feel or act normal any more, though, so why bother?

"Yes," he began, consciously raising his voice when several people had to lean forward to hear him. "The conversation was interrupted suddenly during the discussion, but he did pass on some important information. Shin-ra is apparently still recovering from the loss of so many important employees, and Rufus left on vacation instead of dealing with it immediately. It seems we will have time before we need to worry about an attack, but he assured Tseng that is _will _come."

Cloud frowned and nodded, the level of tension in the room noticeably increasing. "Well, I guess we pretty much knew that… Hopefully we'll be prepared before they are."

"He also said that there is an undercover operation in effect to attempt to get into the base and disable our shield generator while they continue researching ways to break through it," Vincent continued, turning to look at Cid. "So the extreme security measures we've been taking to protect it need to continue, and perhaps even increase. They seem to have decided that it would be easier to destroy it when it's inactive than to figure out how to disarm it later."

"Hmm…" Cid twirled an unlit cigarette between his grease-stained fingers, frowning thoughtfully. "It's in a sort of predictable place, near the main generators, and people who left because we took over could have seen us installing it. It's also at the far end of the base, which makes getting to it easier. Maybe we ought to move it…"

"That would likely be wise…"

"Where do you think we should put it?" Tifa asked, leaning her chin atop her hands with her elbows resting on the table. "Somewhere still secure, but less obvious…"

"… Well, I've already got all that scanning equipment on the roof of my apartment building," Cid said, having recently built an enclosure of bullet proof glass so the instruments would be in position to get the best possible readings, but still protected from the elements. "I had to put in a huge power source down in the basement to run it all, so… What about keeping it down there? It would also take a strain off our main generators, _and_ keep it running in the event that they _and _the backup should fail."

"Aren't you worried that would endanger you and Shera if they find out where it is?" Red asked, perched awkwardly in his chair so he could join the others at the table.

"Nah," Cid said with a dismissive wave. "It'll still have round the clock guards, plus we'll be right there to keep an eye on it and directly monitor the alarm system. And this way, if anything goes wrong with it that I can't handle by remote, we'll be right there to fix it as quickly as possible."

"It ain' gonna blow up and kill everyone livin' nearby, is it?" Barret asked suspiciously, as he and Marlene lived along the same block of joined buildings.

"Hey, have some fucking faith in me, asshole," Cid snorted, causing a chastised Barret to look down at the table. Cid seemed to have become an idol of some kind to him, and he clearly hadn't meant to insult him. "Nah, man, don't worry. I built that shit with my own hands, it's not gonna blow. Your kid is safe. I don't really want to blow up my old lady, either, you know."

"I'm going to tell her you said she's old!" Yuffie said, smirking mischievously.

"And _I'm_ going to tell Reno you think he's cute," Cid countered, causing her mouth to drop open in horror.

"I do not!" she shrieked, though her cheeks instantly colored as red as the aforementioned former Turk's hair. "Gross!"

"Guys, guys," Cloud interrupted, grinning as he held up a hand. "Okay, then. Make the arrangements to move it, Cid… and then you and Vincent can set up the security for it. Um… Do you mind helping them with that, Sephiroth?"

He sounded reluctant to have to address his former commanding officer even after so much time, but the device was so heavy that no one else had been able to handle it the last few times they'd needed to move it. Cloud's attitude caused Sephiroth to respond just as coldly, though he did nod his agreement. "Fine."

"All right… So that's settled. Did you happen to get any idea who this contact might be?" Cloud asked, turning back to Vincent.

"He seems to know Tseng rather well. They spoke as if they have known each other a long time, and he knew details about their situation and Elena's pregnancy that he must have been told before the Turks left Midgar. Other than that, all that was obvious was that he works for Shin-ra in an office of some type, is good with computers, and… their code phrases to determine each other's true identity had something to do with cats."

"Ugh, enough about cats today," Cloud said with a groan, grinning crookedly. "Hmm… Everyone pick your brains on that one, especially you former Shin-ra employees. See if anyone comes to mind. We don't really _need_ to know who this person is right now, but it would be nice in case anything goes wrong."

There were nods all around, and Vincent relaxed a bit as the attention was finally taken off of him. Cloud shuffled through his papers and pulled out another sheet, quickly scanning it with his eyes before looking up again.

"Okay, last thing. Our military scouts have figured out where a lot of the monsters in the area are coming from. There's a huge cavern near the mountain range to the East, and they seem to be gathered in and around that general area like some kind of focal point or breeding ground. We're going to be sending out a fairly large unit to clear as many of them as we can, and then dynamite the cavern closed if possible."

Vincent saw Sephiroth tense beside him, noticing that he'd removed his hands from the tabletop and was now wringing them in his lap beneath. He frowned, filled with annoyance at Cloud once again. Sephiroth was supposed to be the head of the military, yet it seemed that he had played no part at all in the planning of this mission. He may not have even been aware that such a thing was even being discussed. But he was equally annoyed with himself, lowering his gaze in shame and wishing he'd been able to talk to Cloud more civilly. He had very likely ruined his last opportunity to improve things for his son, and he cursed himself for always failing those he loved. It hurt far deeper than any of the transformations he'd experienced, and he found himself unable to look up again.

"We're scheduled to move out in three days," Cloud continued. "I was going to lead the operation myself, but…" He paused suddenly, causing Vincent to glance up at him from beneath his bangs. "I changed my mind."

"What?" Tifa asked, staring at him in surprise. Red, too, arched a feline eyebrow, as if Cloud had neglected to inform either of his chief advisors, including his wife, of the change in plans.

He smiled a bit apologetically, though he looked distinctly uncomfortable and squirmed a bit in his seat. "Yeah… I… I'm the leader of this base, and I think it's better if I stay here since this is going to take a few days. Besides… We've already got someone more experienced in charge of our military."

Vincent's eyes widened, and Sephiroth's head snapped in Cloud's direction. The younger man was blushing, and seemed unable to look at anyone as he continued. "Are you available to handle that, Sephiroth? I'm meeting with the scouts in a few hours, so if you could along to talk with them and some of the higher ranking soldiers who are going along, that would be great."

"You want _me_ to lead the mission?" Sephiroth asked, the disbelief in his voice and expression nearly comical. Beside him, Aeris had lifted a hand to cover her mouth, and there were already tears shining in her eyes. Everyone else was gaping at Cloud as if they weren't sure who he was.

"Well, yeah. You've led a war before, haven't you? A cave full of monsters should be easy."

"I… Of course. I will be present at the briefing."

"Great. Then that's a wrap, guys," he said, rising to his feet and beginning to gather up his paper work, trying to look busy before anyone could question him and continue the awkward moment. "We meet again next Monday, same time."

Most everyone rose and rushed for the door as if they couldn't wait to be free to go about their day, but Sephiroth remained seated as if still stunned by what had just happened. Aeris finally reached out and tugged on his arm, grinning widely as she led him toward the door. As she passed Cloud with Sephiroth ahead of her, she stopped and threw her arms around him in a fierce hug. Tifa laughed at her husband's surprised expression, though she still looked a bit miffed that he hadn't told her what he was going to do before the meeting.

Vincent lingered in the room when everyone had gone but Cloud and Tifa, and when Cloud finally noticed him he visibly swallowed before nervously clearing his throat. "Is something wrong, Vincent?"

"I was wondering if I could speak with you for a moment…"

"Uh… yeah. Yeah, okay," Cloud stammered nervously, and now Tifa looked alarmed. Vincent briefly closed his eyes, realizing he certainly would have told her what had happened between them earlier in the week. Not that _he_ had told Lucrecia…

"Should I…?" Tifa asked, placing a protective hand on her husband's upper arm and biting her lip.

"No, no… You go ahead. I'll be along soon."

"Okay…" she said, reluctantly leaving the room and throwing one last worried glance over her shoulder. He had a feeling she wasn't going to go far. Vincent sighed, keeping his distance as so not to make Cloud any more nervous than he already was. He had definitely not done anything to improve what the others thought of him, and Cloud had never liked or trusted him to begin with. But perhaps it was not too late to salvage some of his reputation.

"I wanted… to thank you," Vincent said quietly, feeling very self conscious as he forced himself to meet Cloud's blue Mako eyes. "I appreciate what you've done today."

Cloud shrugged awkwardly, holding his stack of papers against his chest almost like a shield. "It's nothing. He really _should_ be the one leading things like that, after all. And… you were right." Vincent raised an eyebrow as Cloud's cheeks flushed, and the younger man quickly looked away. "He's been a very valuable member of the team, and I haven't given him enough credit. It's not easy, but I'm going to work on that…"

"That is very big of you," Vincent said, surprised by his words and realizing how hard it was for Cloud to admit. "I am sure it means a lot to him, too, even if he is unable to express himself."

Cloud nodded and started for the door, assuming the conversation was over. Vincent almost let him go, but his conscience wouldn't allow it. There was something else he needed to say even more.

"Cloud, wait…"

The younger man paused in mid step, turning to face him again. He seemed much more at ease than before, though his eyes were still wary. "Yeah?"

"I… also wanted to… apologize. For the way I behaved at our meeting. I was out of line." Vincent looked down at his boots, but he knew it was the right thing to do. The guilt over how he'd assaulted Cloud had been eating at him ever since that morning, but he hadn't felt strong enough to approach him about it. Now, with his mind more at ease about his relationship, and after Cloud had taken an important step to improve his treatment of Sephiroth, he knew it was past time. This time, Vincent was firmly in control, Chaos' influence but a distance whisper at the back of his mind.

"Hey, don't worry about it," Cloud said to his surprise, and when Vincent looked up he saw that he was actually smiling crookedly. "I'm sorry as well… I was out of line, too. I really didn't think about the actual meaning of that word when I said it, but I shouldn't be insulting him at all. Especially not in front of you. Heh, I still forget you're his father sometimes…"

"So do I," Vincent admitted. He finally approached Cloud and held out his hand, relieved when the young man accepted it and shook it firmly. A feeling of relief washed over him, and he finally felt as if he'd mostly managed to regain control of his life. He knew it would be a continuing battle, but it was one he was more determined than ever to fight with everything he had.

"I better go find Tifa, so I can try to explain why I 'forgot' to tell her about that little change in plans," Cloud said with a guilty grin and a touch of trepidation. "She hates surprises! Especially when it's something I've kept from her."

Vincent nodded as they left the room together, thinking of all the things he still kept from Lucrecia and feeling the guilt rise up within him once more. He was improving in that area, he tried to console himself, but it was difficult when so much of what he needed to tell her was painful and disturbing. In time he would be able to share more, he promised himself as he stepped outside and headed for home. Now that they were together as it always should have been, time was something they finally had.

* * *

((**Author's Notes**: I freaking love it when I sit down, something hits me, and I just write and write with almost no effort. That's been hard to come by lately with my health and so much on my mind, but man. I sat down yesterday morning around 7, and by 9 I had this entire chapter finished and ready for editing and beta approval. Sorry, had to get that off my chest, lol. This was more fun to write than I thought a group meeting was going to be. I decided to continue the theme of how much Vincent hates these things, and why. Got in some humorous moments, took care of business, then got to the main reason for this scene. Seems Cloud has made some progress after all, and poor Seph is beside himself. And Vincent did the honorable thing by thanking him and apologizing. Seems all is well for our team. But is all well for Vincent and his little semi-dysfunctional family? Also, thank you all for helping me reach 200 reviews! I'm still shocked I made it to 100, so this is a real honor. I'm honestly still deciding exactly what to include in the next chapter (though I have some decent ideas), so we can all be surprised together! ~ _JenesisX_ ))


	23. Chapter Twenty Two: Midnight

**Chapter Twenty Two: Midnight**

((**Author's Notes: **Allow me to interrupt our regularly scheduled program with an announcement. I've published a new multi-chapter fic called Closing the Distance. It's the back story of how Tseng and Elena got together and ended up where they are now within my AU, and ties into scenes and events that happened during Irony of Fate. Remember that one? ;) Anyway, I've been very into the project and would appreciate if you all checked it out and shared your thoughts. Thanks so much! Now on with the show. _~ JenesisX _))

* * *

"I am telling you, Cloud must have temporarily lost his mind…"

Aeris sleepily opened her eyes and tried not to sigh with annoyance. She had _just _about fallen asleep… for the third time… only to have Sephiroth repeat the same baffled statement she'd been listening to ever since Avalanche's meeting. She rolled over to face him and found him sitting up in bed, wringing his hands in his lap. He was wide awake, the moonlight streaming in through the window illuminating his features. At the sound of his voice, his Great Dane had risen from his bed and come to stand next to his master, presenting his massive head for petting and wearing the same tired expression Aeris knew she was.

"Oh, Seph… Are you still stuck on that, sweetheart?" she asked gently, yawning and trying to keep the mild irritation out of her voice. He looked down at her as if _she _was the one acting strangely, wondering how she could accept what had happened that morning as if nothing was wrong.

"Of course I am," he said, exasperated by how relaxed she was. "I have been part of this team for over a year now, and he has never trusted me to do more than run practice drills and file paperwork. Then all of a sudden he wants me to lead an important military maneuver? It makes no sense…"

Aeris pushed herself into a sitting position as Blade the dog yawned loudly and retreated to his bed with a heavy sigh. He threw Sephiroth such an irritated look that she giggled, shaking her head. "You're keeping him up, too," she scolded teasingly, pulling the covers around herself and shifting closer to her husband. "I'm sure he had his reasons, Seph. Cloud has grown up a lot since we took over the base, and Tifa's a calming influence on him. I'm sure he just finally realized how valuable you've been to the team and wanted to give you more responsibility."

Aeris' face grew just a bit warm, and for once she hoped the strong mental connection they shared would not cause their minds to link. Cloud had told her all about Vincent's outburst earlier in the week, and how frightened and guilty he felt about it afterwards. She didn't want to let Sephiroth know it had taken his father nearly attacking their leader for him to finally change his stance. Sephiroth had more than earned the opportunity on his own, and he deserved to feel proud of himself. She'd been moved to tears by Vincent's passionate defense of his son, but she knew Sephiroth would likely not feel the same.

"I suppose, but… Why now?"

"Aren't you happy about it?" she asked him, leaning against him as he lifted his arm and wrapped it around her. She instantly felt warm and safe, so glad that his aversion to being touched, at least by her, had continued to fade away.

"Yes, of course I am, but… I am uneasy about his motives. And to be honest…" He paused, glancing down at her with a slight flush to his cheeks. "I am a bit nervous about… being away from you for so long."

Aeris reached up to touch his face, their eyes meeting with a rush of emotion. She'd been worried about the same thing, but didn't know how to bridge the subject without insulting him. The bond between them was so strong, far past the usual closeness shared by two people in love, and he was still so desperately dependant on her for his emotional stability. She kept him grounded in reality and soothed his mind when his past rose up to drown him in anger and regret. She helped him cope with his continuing nightmares and flashbacks, and reassured him when he began to doubt his sanity and self worth. Aeris was the only one he really trusted, the one person he could talk to openly and rely on not to judge him. No one else had ever known him, and the effect was intoxicating to the point of near addiction. Their meditation sessions had helped him make amazing progress since they'd gotten married, and they hadn't spent a night apart since their 'honeymoon' at her old house back in the Midgar slums. She knew it was going to be extremely hard to spend several days without him, and she would miss him terribly. But she was far more afraid that he would crumble without her support.

"You'll be fine," she told him, pushing aside her own worries and focusing on easing his mind as she always did. "You've been so strong, and I'm sure you'll be so busy leading the troops that you'll hardly even miss me."

"Unlikely," he snorted, pulling her closer in a possessive embrace. "I hope I am ready to handle this…"

"You are. I have faith in you, love," she said, stretching up to kiss him softly. "And I'll be right here waiting for you when you get back." She could only pray that her words were true, and that he really was strong enough to stand on his own. The last thing he needed was to fail and prove that Cloud had been right all along… But she knew it was past time, and that Sephiroth needed to prove to everyone, and to himself, that he was still able to be the strong leader who once led the entire Shin-ra army. She'd always be there for him, but it was time for her to step back a little and let him shine. The idea was terrifying, however, and she knew it would not be easy for either of them.

"You are worried, though," he said, tilting his head as he gazed down at her. "I can feel it."

"Well, you _are_ heading off into battle," Aeris said quickly, and it was indeed part of the truth. "I'll always worry about you and want you to come home safely. And I'll miss you so much, but at least I have Blade for company."

"Hmph…"

"Really, love. You've been waiting for this chance for so long, and you've grown so much. When our minds touch, there's such a quiet strength about you now… So much of the fear and confusion is gone. I know you can do this, and that everything will be all right. There's nothing to worry about."

She knew he was not convinced, able to sense that her concerns ran as deep as his own even though she tried desperately to dismiss them. She absently ran her hand along his bare chest, reflecting on how she'd grown so used to her role as Sephiroth's partner and support that she'd forgotten what it was like to worry only about herself. But at that moment, she was suddenly struck by a rush of anxiety, a rising panic building inside her that filled her with shame. She was as frightened of the separation as he was, she admitted, disgusted with herself when she realized why. All her life, she'd felt different and rejected, and no one had ever understood her the way he did. Sephiroth loved her, and he needed her. For the first time in her life, she was content with who she was and knew she had a purpose. But if that were to change…

Gods, she was a horrible person for thinking of her own needs when he was the one about to take a huge step forward, biting her lip as she tried to push her fears aside. She was supposed to be making him feel better and encouraging him to succeed without having to lean on her. Now was not the time to feel sorry for herself, and she hid her face against him so he wouldn't see the tears in her eyes.

"Aeris… Do you think I cannot tell that you are upset?"

She cringed, slowly daring to look up into his eyes. There was a tender concern shining within them, and when he reached out to stroke her hair she melted against his body. He had grown from a man who barely knew how to express his emotions to one who could simply look into her eyes and touch her soul. The warmth of his love for her filled her thoughts, and she took a deep breath before speaking.

"I guess I'm… a little worried that you'll do so well you won't need me any more…" she nearly whispered, the insecurities she'd harbored all her life rushing back and filling her with sorrow. "I'm sorry, Seph… That's so selfish of me…"

Sephiroth gently lifted her chin, his expression a mixture of surprise and tenderness. It was always he who feared she would grow tired of their relationship and his issues, and he hesitated before managing to speak. "Aeris… that will never happen. Even if I were to someday awakened a completely normal man, I will _always_ need you. I love you, and you are a part of me I cannot live without."

Aeris smiled through her tears as he leaned over to rest his forehead against hers, the familiar warmth flowing through her as their thoughts ran together. He closed his eyes and went very still with his hand against her cheek, and Aeris wrapped her arms around his neck to keep him close. Gods, she had been worrying about how he would cope, and instead _she _was the one who needed reassurance. He was far stronger than he knew, and maybe than she'd realized as well. He would never be free of the scars of his past, but she finally had no doubt that he was going to be all right as they silently shared their deepest emotions. They were a powerful team, one that had been permanently forged the first time their eyes met in Nibelheim.

"We should be celebrating this occasion, not worrying about it and getting all upset," Aeris finally managed to say, gazing into his emerald Mako eyes when he finally opened them again. "I was thinking…"

Sephiroth leaned back and regarded her suspiciously, and she couldn't help but laugh. He always knew when she was up to something, especially when he suspected it involved something he might not like. "About…?"

"I think we should have your parents over for a late dinner tomorrow," Aeris said with a hopeful smile, absently running one hand along his muscular arm while she left the other resting against the side of his neck. "We haven't spent time with them both in a while, and I know Vincent is proud of you for earning this assignment."

Sephiroth groaned quietly, his mouth turning down into a frown. He adored his mother, but was still awkward around her and never seemed to how to act. Her shyness and lack of confidence didn't help, but lately she'd begun to come out of her shell and was making more of an effort to reach out to him. With Vincent, however, Sephiroth was even more uncomfortable, something that still confounded Aeris. They were so much alike that she couldn't understand why they seemed unable to communicate. Maybe Vincent's own social unease amplified his son's, or maybe it was because it was so difficult to tell how he felt because he hid his emotions so well. Hoping that their recent monster hunt together, and Vincent's willingness to fight with Cloud in his son's honor, had been positive steps forward, she wanted to take advantage of the opportunity. She also knew that Vincent had been struggling as of late, and that he and Lucrecia had gone through a rough patch. It would give Aeris a chance to see them together and make sure all was well. They were a family, after all, and she badly wanted them all to act more like one.

"Oh, come on," she chided him, using her gentle touch and the connection it sparked between them to soothe him as he digested her words. "They're your parents, and I'm sure they'd love to be included in this."

"I… all right…"

Aeris blinked, shocked by how quickly and easily he'd given in. It usually took a bit more careful persuasion than that. She grinned, stretching up to kiss him deeply. Now _he_ was surprised, but it didn't take him long to get over it.

"Thanks, love," she said, caressing his cheek as his eyes lolled closed and he leaned into her touch. He was _finally_ relaxed… She could feel it through the connection between them, along with how tired he really was beneath his nervous energy. Maybe he would actually be able to sleep soon, which meant she'd be able to get some rest as well. And the poor dog. "How about I give them a call real quick, since this is the best time to get a hold of them? Your Mom told me she's becoming something of a creature of the night herself."

Sephiroth nodded absently, keeping his arm around her and running a gentle hand through her hair. She could feel the love and desire burning within him, a strong jolt of electricity passing through them when she met his eyes again. Maybe he wasn't as tired as she thought… "I promise I'll make it quick, then I'm all yours," she said with a wink, leaning over to take her PHS from the nightstand. She was filled with joy and excitement as she dialed the familiar number, hoping his parents would want to share it with them.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Vincent was seated on the couch holding a stack of security reports in his clawed hand, still trying to catch up on the work he'd been forced to neglect because of Chaos. He was having a bit of trouble concentrating, but was not about to complain. His right arm rested across Lucrecia's stomach, her head in his lap as she lay on her back. Her delicate hand rested atop his and her eyes were closed behind her glasses, but he knew she wasn't asleep. It was such a peaceful, relaxed evening at home that they could have been any number of normal couples who had grown completely at ease with each other. In the past, such ordinary scenes of domestic harmony were the thing Vincent longed for most, and he would not have traded the moment for anything.

He'd returned from the staff meeting in good spirits, and Lucrecia was thrilled to hear that Sephiroth had finally been asked to lead an actual mission with the military. Vincent awkwardly admitted his role in the new development, carefully avoiding any mention of his argument with Cloud. Lucrecia had said she was proud of him, and he could still feel the warmth her words caused to rush through him. Still exhausted from so many recent battles with Chaos, Vincent had slept for most of the afternoon, blissfully free from the disruption of nightmares. He felt guilty for needing to rest again so soon and wished his body was not so hell bent on sleeping during the day, but Lucrecia said she understood. She certainly hadn't seemed bothered when she crawled into bed with him a few hours later, awakening him in a rather pleasant manner. They'd been practically glued together since, and he'd left only to retrieve a pile of paperwork from his office. Far from having cooled in the months since Lucrecia returned to his life, their feelings and desire for one another had only grown stronger. And it seemed the more he relaxed and began to share with her, the more intense they became. The slow realization was a welcome dose of courage when he found himself struggling to express his feelings, and Lucrecia seemed happier and more at ease than she'd ever been. Even though his self doubts and the dark influence of the demon remained, seeing her so content made him happy.

Vincent was glad he had the freedom to work from home when nothing serious was happening on the base, glancing down at his lover with a ghost of a smile on his lips. She was beautiful no matter what she was doing, and he still couldn't believe she was his. The fact that she found him so desirable and worthy of her affection almost made him start to reconsider how vile he was. If this attractive, wonderful woman loved him so much, could he really be so awful? He'd never understood what she saw in him, but a part of him had finally begun to accept that it didn't really matter.

He felt her squeeze his hand as he turned back to the next arrest report in the stack, quickly scanning the summary of the incident. Oh, lovely, the arresting officer was Yuffie. And the offender was… His eyes widened when he glanced at the attached booking photo, recognizing the grouchy little old lady who had earlier harassed Cloud. She'd apparently been spotted shop lifting canned cat food, a loaf of bread, and a tabloid magazine from one of the small corner stores on the base, and the owner alerted security. Yuffie quickly located her standing on a nearby dock and throwing pieces of bread to the seagulls, approaching and telling her that she was under arrest. That would have been fine, except that the old woman didn't want to cooperate. She pelted Yuffie with several slices of bread and cans of cat food, screaming obscenities at the top of her aged lungs. When the agile ninja moved to restrain her, the woman whacked her in the head with her wooden cane, causing Yuffie to tumble into the harbor.

Vincent had to stop reading for a moment, snorting with amusement as he pictured the scene in his mind. An odd feeling began to rise up within him, as if someone was tickling his insides and making him need to cough. Lucrecia noticed his slight movement and opened her eyes, looking up at him with a bemused smile.

"What's so funny?" she asked. He realized he was smirking and tried to wipe the expression from his face without thinking. After so many years of mourning for her, and with so much guilt still heavy in his heart, he remained uncomfortable with such displays. It was too late, however, and Lucrecia continued to watch him expectantly. He sighed, glancing back at the report and trying his damndest to hide his amusement. Even though the heavy depression that clung to him had begun to lift the moment she returned to his life, he still felt guilty for experiencing something so normal.

"Yuffie had a run in with an elderly shoplifter," he told her, his deep voice sounding strange to him. "When Yuffie tried to arrest her, she… she…"

The mental image of his hyperactive young employee being attacked by an elderly woman and knocked into the polluted harbor ran through his mind again, and this time he was unable to hold back. His body began to shake with the effort, and before he knew it he had actually started to laugh. The sound was strange and foreign to his ears, and he almost didn't believe it was coming from him. He lifted his hand to cover his face, trying in vain to get a hold of himself, but the thought of backup arriving to handle one angry old woman and Yuffie flailing around indignantly in the water was too much. He was vaguely aware of Lucrecia staring at him in shock, blushing self consciously and looking down into his lap as he continued to snicker. His sides began to ache and his eyes filled with tears of amusement, until she suddenly threw her arms around his neck in a crushing embrace. He automatically reached out to hold her, frowning when he realized she had buried her face against his neck and begun to cry.

He gently eased her away from his body and looked into her eyes, deadly serious once again. He blinked in confusion when he saw that Lucrecia was smiling through her tears, tilting his head as he gently brushed them away with his normal hand.

"Have I upset you, my love?" he asked, embarrassed by his outburst and mortified that he had made her cry yet again.

"Gods, Vincent," she whispered, her voice choked with emotion and her green eyes shining with wonder. "I never thought I'd hear you laugh again…" New tears began to fall as he studied her, their eyes locking intensely. "I missed your laugh…"

He didn't know what to say, realizing that it had been well over thirty years. Nothing had been funny or enjoyable when she was gone, as if he was a ghost walking among the living. "I guess I'd forgotten how…"

Lucrecia reached out to brush the hair from in front of his eyes before leaning in to kiss him, tendering running her fingers along his face. When she leaned back and looked deep into his eyes again, he felt the beginnings of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. For once, he gave in and allowed it, and the way it lit up her face made the awkwardness he felt more than worth it.

"You're so sexy when you smile," she purred, her voice full of desire. "You should do that more often, baby."

Vincent shook his head, baffled, but had no time to protest before she'd pulled him down into a passionate kiss. He held her and kissed her back, having long since forgotten about what amused him in the first place. Now there was nothing but the two of them, their bodies pressed close together, their shared need quickly escalating. He could think of nothing but her and his powerful desire to please her, running his normal hand beneath her shirt and along the soft skin of her back. She shivered and broke the kiss to study his face, and he was about to suggest they move things to the other room when an unwelcome sound shattered the moment.

It was that damn PHS again, ringing from its place on the coffee table. He'd left it switched on because he was still on duty for the next few hours, but at that moment he wished he didn't even own one of the annoying devices. It was as if the thing _knew_ when he was in the middle of something he did not want interrupted, and he swore in Wutaiin as both he and Lucrecia glared at it accusingly.

"Maybe the old lady wants to talk to you," she said breathlessly, running a seductive hand along the inside of his thigh and grinning crookedly. She finally sighed and reached for the device, realizing he had to answer it if it was someone from security. Vincent frowned, his mind and body loudly protesting the interruption. He couldn't tear his eyes away from his lover as she glanced down to see who was calling, raising an eyebrow a moment later.

"It's Aeris," she said with surprise, running a hand back through her hair. "I hope everything's all right…"

"Go ahead," Vincent said reluctantly, taking a deep breath and leaning back against the cushions. He knew they'd both worry the rest of the night if they didn't answer the call, though he was not in the mood to speak with her himself just then. He'd never gotten used to talking into the thing, and at the moment he remained hopelessly distracted by other concerns. He had a feeling it would be obvious what he'd been up to the moment he spoke.

He watched Lucrecia as she greeted their daughter-in-law and began the conversation, his heart still racing in his chest. She was so beautiful even when her hair was a mess and she was in her pajamas, and it took all of his self control not to reach out and touch her. He'd never get tired of just looking at her, still amazed that she was back from the dead and had chosen to be a part of his life. Her ability to love and accept him as he was only made his feelings more intense, and he ached to have her back in his arms. If he'd found her captivating in the past, what he felt now bordered on worship and obsession. And this time, he had her all to himself…

"Oh, that sounds great!" Lucrecia was saying, and Vincent finally forced himself to pay attention to her end of the conversation. He cocked his head quizzically, but she had her back to him as she spoke. He swore she'd done it on purpose. "We'd love to… At seven? Sure!"

_Oh no... _Maybe it hadn't been such a great idea to have her answer the call after all… What was she agreeing to this time?

He waited impatiently until she said goodbye a minute later and silenced the PHS before setting it back on the table, turning to him with a guilty smile. She shifted herself back against his body and slowly ran her hands up his chest to his shoulders, rather obviously using his current state to her advantage.

"What did you do?" he asked her, closing his eyes despite himself as she began to undo the buttons of his shirt. "That isn't fair, you know…"

Lucrecia giggled, climbing to her feet and pulling him after her. "We're just going to join them for dinner tomorrow, that's all," she said, trying to brush it aside as if it wasn't something she knew made him extremely uncomfortable. "But you don't _really_ want to think about that right now, do you?"

He was annoyed for all of a second before he took her in his arms and claimed her mouth in a passionate kiss, aware that he was responding exactly the way she intended. She could manipulate him all night for all he cared, and he would have agreed to anything just then. She'd always had such a hold over him, and there was little he could do to fight it. He allowed himself to follow her lead and push the engagement from his mind, along with thoughts of angry old ladies being housed in the brig. For all his darkness and mystery, Vincent was slowly learning to accept that he was still a normal man at his core.

* * *

((**Author's Notes: **Hum. That's a touch steamier than I usually go, but it sort of just happened, haha. Sorry? ;) The next chapter will be their fun little gathering… with a surprise fifth guest and more of Blade the dog at the request of my 200th reviewer! Should be interesting… Getting close to the home stretch here, which is weird and kind of scary. But fear not, I'm starting to think my next multi chapter fic that advances my AU and Vincent's story is going to be quite lengthy. I said I'd never write anything as huge as Irony of Fate again, but the more I think about it, the more I realize… Eek. :D Hope you all are up for that, hehe. Thanks again for putting up with me!_ ~ JenesisX _))


	24. Chapter Twenty Three: Family

**Chapter Twenty Three: Family**

((**Author's Notes: **Blade the dog's appearance in this chapter is dedicated to **Ardwynna Morrigu**, my 200th reviewer. Hope you like it! ~ _JenesisX _))

* * *

Vincent tried to relax as he and Lucrecia climbed the stairs to their son's apartment. He knew it was foolish to remain so uncomfortable with the idea after so long, but he couldn't help himself. He had never enjoyed social engagements to begin with, and now that he'd been altered he preferred to remain isolated. Part of his need for solitude was shame about what he had became, but Chaos' predatory instincts only added to the desire. He knew that Lucrecia gladly tolerated it and was mostly content to remain at home with him, but he also knew she longed to spend more time with Sephiroth… and to see her son and his father actually begin to bond. Vincent wanted to make her happy more than anything, so he bit down on his unease as best he could.

Though he knew he would never fool anyone, he'd at least tried to make himself look more normal that evening. He's reluctantly left his cloak behind, feeling naked and exposed in just a long sleeved black shirt and pants. He'd had to leave the cuff unbuttoned around his prosthetic forearm, but at least it still hid most of the horrid thing. Vincent had allowed Lucrecia to attempt to tame his wild hair into a ponytail, but his bangs still hung rebelliously into face. He missed his bandana already… not that it did a much better job. She'd been satisfied with her efforts, however, insisting he looked 'dashing' as he playfully rolled his eyes.

"I'm so happy we're doing this," Lucrecia said, smiling up at him as they approached the door. Vincent nodded, glad she was happy but unable to share her pleasure. Normal things like family dinners were so foreign to him, and he already felt badly out of his element. His lover noticed his discomfort and squeezed his hand supportively before raising the other to knock at the door.

Vincent braced himself as Sephiroth's Great Dane began to bark, still amazed by just how loud the creature was. It made the tension in his head far worse, and he groaned quietly as his ears began to ring. Lucrecia threw him a concerned look as Sephiroth's commanding voice scolded his pet from the other side of the door. A moment later, he pulled the door open and beckoned them inside with a faint smile and nod of greeting.

Blade was immediately upon them, prancing and whining as he briefly sniffed Vincent, then Lucrecia, before racing to his toy box. He quickly returned holding a stuffed spider with long legs dangling from either side of his mouth, showing it to them proudly as he tore about the room. Vincent narrowly avoided being hit in a sensitive area with the dog's furiously wagging tail, and Lucrecia giggled as she reached out to pet him. She loved animals, and he again felt guilty that he did not feel comfortable getting her a pet of her own.

"He will calm down in a minute," Sephiroth said, shaking his head but unable to help watching Blade with amusement. "He has been hanging around the kitchen hoping Aeris drops something for most of the evening…"

"I hope she's sharing with the poor starving baby," Lucrecia said in an affectionate tone, rubbing Blade's back as he finally stopped pacing and leaned against her. His weight nearly knocked her backwards, but Vincent quickly reached out to steady her with one hand. "Although he really _has _gained a lot of weight… He looks wonderful, Seph!"

"Thank you…" There was an awkwardness in his tone, but the pride was unmistakable. He seemed about to say more when Aeris left the kitchen and approached them, a wide smile on her face.

"Hi, guys!" she exclaimed, wiping her damp hands on her pants. Her eyes were shining with happiness as she reached them, extending her arms to warmly hug Lucrecia. Vincent cringed inwardly, realizing he was next. But as he awkwardly returned his daughter-in-law's embrace a moment later, something even more disturbing caught his eye.

Elmyra Gainsborough emerged from the kitchen carrying a stack of plates, setting them down on the dining room table without even glancing up at them. Vincent's eyes widened in horror as he watched over Aeris' slender shoulder, and he suddenly felt sick to his stomach. _Gods, no… Not her. _Aeris released him with a smile, ignoring his obvious discomfort before hurrying back to help her mother. "Make yourselves at home!" she called back to them.

Vincent continued to stare, swallowing hard. Sephiroth noticed and grunted, shaking his head as the three of them stood together in the foyer. Lucrecia looked confused, glancing back and forth between her lover and their son.

"What is _she _doing here?" Vincent whispered as Elmyra and Aeris returned to the kitchen, Blade following after in hopes of a treat.

"Believe me, it was _not _my idea," Sephiroth muttered, finally stepping into the living room and gesturing for his parents to follow.

"What's wrong?" Lucrecia asked, her voice already trembling with nervousness. Vincent felt guilty for worrying her but was unable to help his reaction. He already knew a potentially uncomfortable evening had just gotten a lot worse. "Isn't that Aeris' mother?"

Sephiroth nodded, settling into an armchair as Vincent and Lucrecia seated themselves on the couch. Lucrecia remained close to his side as if frightened, picking up on the vibes around her.

"Yes… and she hates me," Vincent said quietly, holding Lucrecia's hand atop his knee. He wasn't sure if he was trying to comfort her or himself.

"Hates you?" she gasped, looking up at him in shock. "_Why_?"

"She is a superstitious old fool," Sephiroth whispered, frowning severely. "She believes there is a real hell with fire and devils, and that Vincent's red eyes are the mark of demonic possession and evil."

"You can hardly call her a fool when she is correct…"

"That's ridiculous!" Lucrecia exclaimed, before blushing and quickly lowering her voice. "There's a scientific reason for your condition, Vincent. And you are _not_ evil… for gods' sake!"

Vincent sighed heavily, and Sephiroth snorted with disgust. "She barely tolerates _me _after all this time, but she is terrified of Vincent. I tried to tell Aeris that this was_ not _a good idea, but… she insists we all need to be a 'family' together. She is all Elmyra has, so I understand, but…"

"I'm sure it will be fine," Lucrecia said, though the tremor in her voice made her words rather unconvincing. "Just be yourself, Vincent… I'm sure she'll get over it once she knows you better."

"I'm sure…"

Aeris emerged from the kitchen at that moment, Elmyra close behind her. Aeris was beaming, but her mother looked less than thrilled. Her lips were pursed and her hands were clasped tightly in front of her, her eyes darting about nervously. When they settled on Vincent, she quickly looked away and visibly paled. Vincent kept his expression neutral, nodding to her politely as if he didn't notice.

"I'm so sorry, I forgot that Mom has never met Lucrecia before," Aeris was saying, blushing a bit. "Mom, this is Seph's mother!"

"So nice to meet you," Elmyra said a bit stiffly, managing a smile and stepping forward after Aeris lightly nudged her. She approached the couch cautiously, her eyes shifting toward Vincent every few seconds as if she expected him to attack her at any moment. Lucrecia stood and shyly held out a hand, and the two lightly clasped them together before quickly parting.

"Good to meet you, too," Lucrecia said softly, her shyness nearly drowning out her voice. Vincent suddenly felt extremely protective of her. He could handle Elmyra's dislike of him, but if she mistreated Lucrecia he was not sure how he would react. He was relieved when she sat down next to him again, and quickly draped his arm around her. He was normally too self conscious to display much affection toward her in public, but he found he couldn't help needing to keep her close.

Elmyra stood staring at them for a moment, as if she could not understand how it was that Vincent had a girlfriend who appeared so normal. He was used to such looks and sighed inwardly, wishing for his lover's sake that people would mind their own business and leave them alone. Aeris noticed the tension building and quickly took her mother's arm, her smile a bit more forced.

"Come on, Mom, we've still got things to get ready!"

"Right dear…" Elmyra said absently, slowly tearing her eyes away from the couple and following her daughter back into the kitchen.

"Gods…" Sephiroth leaned over and held his head in both gloved hands, groaning miserably. "I am so sorry about this…"

"Why does she keep looking at you like that?" Lucrecia whispered, sounding almost tearful as she turned her head to meet Vincent's eyes.

"She expects me to jump up, transform, and tear her apart," Vincent said dryly. "Only, she does not even _know_ about that…"

"Can you imagine?" Sephiroth muttered, finally lifting his head again. "Please try to ignore her. She has been looking at me that way for over a year now… although lately she seems to have relaxed. I suppose she is finally convinced I am not going to kill her daughter. Oddly enough, once I found and began caring for Blade it seemed to change her attitude somewhat… She is very fond of him. But she still does not trust me."

"That's so silly," Lucrecia scoffed, biting her lower lip. She was upset, but Vincent could also hear the anger in her voice. "The two of you are wonderful, decent men."

"Maybe she is jealous," Vincent said dryly.

Sephiroth snorted with amusement, rising to his feet and glancing toward the kitchen with annoyance. "Let me get you something to drink… and see if I can perhaps have a word with Aeris. If that woman ever leaves her side…"

"Don't be rude, Seph," Lucrecia scolded him. "'That woman' is still your wife's mother."

"Yes, yes," he muttered, turning and crossing the room with long, purposeful strides.

Vincent closed his eyes and leaned back against the cushions, keeping his arm tight around Lucrecia. It was definitely going to be a very, very long evening.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Dinner went about as well as Vincent expected. Aeris had thought it was a good idea to seat Lucrecia to his right, and her mother to his left… apparently hoping Elmyra would get used to him with more exposure. During the meal, she'd gradually inched her chair away until she was positioned at the very corner of the table, continually glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. He was annoyed but also felt bad for her, as it was obvious she was genuinely frightened of him and not just trying to be rude. Matters only grew worse when he attempted to pass her the basket of bread with his claw. She'd stared at the offending limb for long moments with wide eyes, swallowed nervously, and quickly snatched it from him as if avoiding a poisonous snake. Lucrecia had done too good of a job helping him forget about the foul appendage as of late, and he'd forgotten that others were not as accepting as his lover. He was left embarrassed and self conscious, and what limited appetite he had quickly faded.

Aeris did her best to keep up a steady stream of casual conversation, but Sephiroth was no help, and the tension had drowned Lucrecia in her shyness. She spent most of the time looking down into her plate and slipping food beneath the table to Blade, and Vincent longed to get them away from the uncomfortable situation. A headache had formed behind his eyes and the whisper of Chaos' desires to escape the confines of civilization and flee into the night began to steadily intrude upon his thoughts.

Once the awkward meal had come to a blessed end, the group gathered in the living room with mugs of tea or coffee. Lucrecia seated herself on the couch between Sephiroth and Vincent, looking for all the world as if she was seeking the protection of two large bodyguards. Aeris commented on how much her husband and his father looked like matching bookends, something which made Lucrecia smile and afforded Vincent a moment of pride. He'd spent all of his life feeling as if he was worthless and would never accomplish anything, and to know that others saw a piece of him in the strong and handsome Sephiroth was an honor. The fact that he had fathered him with his beloved Lucrecia only increased the feeling.

"Everything was wonderful, Aeris," Lucrecia said politely when everyone was settled, though she had actually eaten very little. Vincent nodded his agreement, though he really couldn't tell if he was honest. He took little pleasure in eating any more, and did so only rarely when his body finally required it. The few things he actually craved horrified even him…

"Thank you!" she said cheerfully, as Sephiroth's dog settled in his bed with a loud yawn and began licking his paws. "It's great to finally have the whole family together to celebrate."

"Yeah, thanks for having us," Lucrecia said, fondly patting Sephiroth's knee and smiling up at her son with open affection. He actually smiled back, an expression that went all the way to his eyes. She made this parenting business look so easy, and Vincent found himself impressed and more than a bit envious.

"It's so incredible that… you've somehow come back from the dead?" Elmyra asked, regarding Lucrecia curiously. Vincent immediately tensed, glancing sideways at his lover. He saw her swallow nervously, but she nodded and seemed willing to try to answer.

"In a way," she said quietly, as timid as a mouse. Her confidence had greatly improved since she'd returned to Vincent's life, and he'd tried his best to make her see how wonderful she was and build up her faith in herself. But when she was with new people or grew uncomfortable, she was instantly shy again. He casually slipped his arm around her and eased her a bit closer, wanting to give her his support as much as he needed to remind himself of her presence. "I was cloned… from my DNA profile. So this body is new, technically, but exactly like my old one at the time I died."

"I see… Wow. It's amazing what science can do these days!" Elmyra said, shaking her head in disbelief. "It's so good that Sephiroth has his mother back. I can see how much happier he is." Lucrecia beamed with pride, and Vincent relaxed a little. Maybe this wasn't going to be as bad as he feared.

"I'm very happy to be back… I missed he and Vincent so much, and we're all so blessed to have this second chance." She looked up at him and smiled, and Vincent's heart melted. He was able to quiet Chaos' desires inside his mind for the first time in several hours, managing a slight smile of his own. Her influence on him was so strong, and he was grateful for her support. Somehow, she always seemed to know when he needed it most.

"It's good that he finally has some family support," Elmyra said, and Vincent instantly tensed again, his relief quickly pushed aside. What was _that _supposed to mean? There was an awkward silence, and he heard Sephiroth uncomfortably clear his throat at the other end of the couch. "How did you meet… Sephiroth's father, anyway, Lucrecia?"

_I have a name, you know…_

"Oh, through work," Lucrecia said, trying to sound casual. Vincent frowned, focusing his eyes on the second hand of the clock across the room. He stared hard, willing it to move faster. The ticking was suddenly deafening to his ears, and as he ground his teeth he was disturbed to find them more pointed them usual.

"You were both with Shin-ra?" Elmyra spoke the company's name like it was a vulgar word, and Vincent felt Lucrecia lean against him just a bit more.

"Yes… I worked in the Science Department, and you probably already know that Vincent was a Turk."

"Aah, right… So how come the two of you never married?"

Vincent heard Aeris gasp quietly, and Sephiroth's breathing suddenly quickened. He saw his son began to wring his gloved hands out of the corner of his eye, and Lucrecia's were clasped tightly in her lap as if she was fighting not to do the same. He looked down into his own lap, mind reeling with painful memories. The longing, the stress, the rejection… gods… one remark and it was all right back at the surface. Would it ever stop hurting, even now that they were together?

"Mom," Aeris cut in, giggling nervously and wearing an alarmed expression. "I'm not sure that's really any of your-"

"No, it's okay…" Lucrecia said quietly, taking a deep breath and managing to meet the older woman's eyes across the coffee table. "We're all family here, after all. We _wanted_ to marry, and had plans to, but… I was still married to someone else at the time. We're engaged now, though, and I can't wait!"

Elmyra's eyes widened. "Oh my. So you two were having an _affair_? Forgive me for saying this, but-"

Vincent felt a growl rumbling deep in his chest, his vision going red as he gripped the arm of the couch with his claw and fought for self control. Thankfully, just before he opened his mouth to speak, there was a sudden crash from the kitchen. All heads turned toward the sound, and a moment later Blade came trotting into the living room with a large piece of meat in his jowls. No one had even seen him rise and leave the room during the unpleasant conversation, and his eyes shone merrily as he displayed his prize.

"Blade!" Sephiroth exclaimed, quickly on his feet. "Did you steal that?!"

"I put that plate _way _back on the counter!" Aeris exclaimed, unable to help but laugh. Whether from amusement or nervousness, it was hard to tell… but the look of relief she wore at the interruption was unmistakable. "I can't _believe_ he still reached it!"

"He is over four foot tall, Aeris… and that is on all four legs. Do you not recall the loaf of bread he took from the top of the refrigerator last week?"

"I keep forgetting that he isn't a normal dog! Sorry, sweetheart."

Blade looked back and forth between she and Sephiroth, some of his joy replaced with fear and confusion. He had spent most of his life on the streets, fending for himself, and did not seem to understand what was wrong. Why weren't his pack mates pleased with his find? Had he done something wrong? Slowly his ears went back, and he began to cower as if expecting to be scolded or perhaps even beaten.

Sephiroth sighed heavily and approached his pet, smirking crookedly. He gently removed the meat from Blade's mouth and shook his head, patting him on the head to alleviate the canine's concerns. "Come on, then… I will cut this up and put it in your dinner. I am sorry, it _is _a bit past your normal meal time, isn't it…"

Vincent watched his son and the large dog vanish into the kitchen, realizing that Sephiroth was relieved to have any excuse to escape. How he wished he could go with him, but he would never have abandoned Lucrecia to the horrid woman who continued to stare at them. His face was still warm with embarrassment at having his personal life revealed, and he did not like how loud Chaos' thoughts had been all evening. He dearly hoped there was no outward sign of the demon past his usual red eyes… From what he could tell, his complexion had not changed and his mass had not increased, but he felt extremely volatile and unsettled, and there was a deep ache in his bones. He knew he needed this evening to end, soon, and hopefully before anything else happened. But he also didn't want to be rude and make himself look worse than he already did.

Thankfully, Aeris quickly steered the conversation onto more innocuous subjects, including Sephiroth's upcoming assignment and how proud everyone was of him. Elmyra continued to watch Vincent suspiciously, but he barely noticed. His mind became lost in the past, thinking of all the things he'd done wrong, how weak and foolish he'd been, and how much he still did not deserve the woman seated at his side. Even now, he was making her uncomfortable and embarrassed. She deserved so much better. She deserved a normal life, with normal gatherings and events, free from stares and concerns about loaded questions and demons. He noticed the way she kept glancing up at him as if sensing his dark thoughts, but he couldn't find the strength to meet her eyes. How could he look at her when he only continued to ruin her life? Chaos was thrilled by his misery, filling in any pauses between thoughts with its own desires to break free and feed its blood lust. It was a powerful combination, and it left Vincent nearly comatose as he stared straight ahead. He heard not a word of the rest of the conversation that evening, and was relieved when Lucrecia finally stood and tugged on his arm.

"… don't you think, love?" she was asking him, peering down at him with concern. He blinked rapidly, quickly realizing that she'd been saying it was late and about time they got home. Gods, he couldn't agree more…

Vincent stood, his mind still reeling, feeling as if he was moving in a thick fog. The whisper of thoughts and instincts not his own raced through his mind as he trailed his lover to the door, Aeris, Sephiroth, and Elmyra following them. Blade came along, too, looking sad to see them go. Lucrecia fondly patted him goodbye, bending over to kiss the top of his massive head. The dog licked her cheek and wagged his tail, happy he'd gotten to see his 'Grandma' again. He next nudged Vincent's hand but quickly walked away when he was ignored.

It barely registered when Aeris hugged both he and Lucrecia and thanked them for coming, and he absently shook Sephiroth's hand once his son had warmly embraced his mother. Vincent was about to open the door and make his escape when Elmyra awkwardly stepped forward and smiled at Lucrecia, then slowly held open her arms. His attention was instantly focused, his protectiveness of her winning out over all else. He fought to tame the predatory way his eyes fell upon the older woman, swallowing hard as he struggled to control his expression.

"It was so nice to finally meet you. We'll have to do this again soon!"

"Oh… yeah. Yeah, sure," Lucrecia said, visibly surprised as she briefly hugged her son's mother-in-law. "Thank you, Elmyra."

When Elmyra released her, there was a moment of silence during which no one moved, the air thick with expectation. Elmyra turned and looked right at Vincent, and he forced himself to calmly meet her eyes. She seemed about to step forward and embrace him as well, and he awkwardly began to lift his right arm. He wasn't thrilled, but it was a first step, at least, and he wasn't about to refuse. But then she quickly turned her back and walked away, leaving him standing there like a fool.

"….."

"Aeris, we are going to have a _long _talk…" Sephiroth muttered, an angry snarl on his face. Aeris was biting her lower lip, close to tears. Lucrecia stared down at her feet, upset but unsure of what to do. Vincent ached to comfort her but did not react, simply pulling the door open and leaving the apartment without a word. He quickly made his way down the short hallway and the single flight of stairs, hearing the door close behind him and Lucrecia's soft footsteps following. But even louder was the roar of self loathing inside his head.

As he stepped outside into the cool night air, Vincent turned and began to walk swiftly down Main Street, frowning darkly with his hands balled into fists at his sides. The tension that had spread through his entire body during the evening had grown unbearable, and his vision had become sharper and tinted with red. His chest ached and it was difficult to breathe, and a feeling of panic and despair gripped his heart. He noticed a mouse scurry by into an alleyway, a sudden desire to pursue it racing to the forefront of his mind. Dammit, no, not again! He shook his head and growled deep in his chest, squeezing his eyes closed and forcing himself to hurry past. He was _not _going to let Chaos take over again! Not because of some rude old woman and the things her prying questions made him remember…

"Vincent, wait!"

Lucrecia's voice halted him in mid step, and he turned to find her rushing to catch up with him. Her expression was both surprised and alarmed, and she was breathless when she reached him. He hadn't realized how quickly he was walking, cursing himself for abandoning her along the street so late at night. All he had been thinking about was getting away, to be alone with his hurt before he made things worse. Lucrecia took a hold of his arm and looked up into his face, but he quickly turned his head away to avoid her eyes. "Baby, are you okay?"

Vincent said nothing, his mind lost in the familiar battle for control with himself and his hated inner demon. He was a vile creature not even welcome among his own family. He belonged in isolation, where he couldn't frighten or hurt anyone. He belonged back in the coffin… or dead. At that moment, he wanted to be left alone with his misery. He looked down at her hand upon him and shrugged away from her touch, turning and continuing to walk. Her heard her gasp in surprise as she struggled to catch up again, but he barely cared. It was for her own good.

"Vincent! Don't do this!" she cried, grabbing his arm more firmly. "Baby, please listen to me!"

Vincent heaved a heavy sigh and looked down at her, and he saw her shiver when he met her gaze. He knew Chaos had begun to influence his senses and appearance by now, and he was too upset to feel guilty for frightening her. In some ways, he was glad. "Do what?" he said in a cold whisper, coming to a halt. "Have you not had enough of my company this evening, Lucrecia?"

Tears filled her eyes, and she stepped forward to embrace him tightly. Vincent stood rigidly, refusing to return it. She held him anyway, and he could feel her trembling against his body. A wave of guilt washed over him, and he hated himself more at that moment than he ever had. He wanted to reach out and take her in his arms, tell her he was sorry and that he loved her, and beg her to help him. But he needed her to understand what he was, once and for all. She needed to see that he was not the man she wanted him to be. That man had never existed.

"She was very unfair to you," Lucrecia said when she stepped back, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I'm so sorry… I should have said something, but I… I never know how…"

"It is fine," he said, his deep voice hauntingly flat as he started to walk again. "I am used to it."

"You shouldn't have to be!" she insisted, anger in her voice. She clutched his arm in order to keep up with him, and this time Vincent grudgingly allowed it. "It isn't fair… You are a wonderful, honorable man, and I love you so much. No one should treat you that way…"

"I don't want to talk about it any more."

"Vincent, you can't just shut down every time you're upset. Don't you remember where that got us before? Please…"

He knew she was right, but he was hurting too badly to listen. He had been a pitiful failure unworthy of her love in the past, and now he was vile and evil on top of it. They could not even attend a quiet dinner without it turning into a source of pain and humiliation, and it took so little for the demon inside him to rise up and put her in danger. Why could she not _see_ that? He'd told her so many times, tried to chase her away, but still she remained…

"I can't, Lucrecia," he said quietly, his eyes on the ground. "I can't go on hurting you…"

"_You_ didn't hurt me at all!" she protested, the tears now streaming down her cheeks. "We've been so happy together… You are never anything but sweet and gentle to me. Why are you so hard on yourself?"

"Being with me shames you," he said as they reached their building, stopping outside the covered porch and refusing to go any further. "Go inside… I wish to be alone."

"Vincent…"

He stubbornly turned his head away from her as she stepped in against him and placed her hands on his chest. He couldn't look at her, couldn't face the love he knew he'd find in her eyes. She reached up with one hand and tipped his chin downward, however, and he found himself drawn into her gaze. It was warm and tender, so trusting, and it nearly overwhelmed him. His feelings were so confused, mixed with the fury of Chaos and so full of anger and regret, that he could only stare for long moments until he lost control. He reached out with his normal hand and snaked it around the back of her neck, leaning in to kiss her as he curled his fingers tightly in her hair. It was a rough, passionate kiss, filled with desperation and raw emotion, and when he suddenly pulled away he leapt onto the railing and pulled himself up to the roof of the porch in a blur. Lucrecia was left staring at his back as he vanished from sight.

* * *

((**Author's Notes: **Uh-oh. We've got trouble brewing. The Elmyra idea was kind of random, and I didn't want to _totally_ make her evil, but… I could see her having old superstitious beliefs and a genuine fear of Vincent. She is also still not Seph's biggest fan and prone to nosiness, and thinks this whole story about his parents is beyond bizarre. You can't really blame her, haha… But yeah, now Vincent is all upset again and back to shutting down on Lucrecia. Is she going to get tired of this and having to fight to reach him all the time once and for all, or can she find a way yet again? Is Vincent ever going to knock this crap off? Stay tuned! And in the meantime, pleeeeease go read and review 'Closing the Distance'? Thank you! _~ JenesisX _))


	25. Chapter Twenty Four: Conflict

**Chapter Twenty Four: Conflict**

((**Author's Notes: **Just a brief note before we begin. I am aware that Vincent's past as mentioned below completely differs from what is told in Dirge of Cerebus. I began my AU and first mentioned my version way back in Irony of Fate, long before DoC or any of the other games/movie/etc. As such, it's based on the limited information of the original game, and I was not about to go back and alter everything I'd done once more 'canon' was created. Also, DoC totally massacred Vincent's past and story anyway and added a lot of really lame stuff in my opinion, so I pretend it never happened. Thanks! _~ JenesisX _))

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The moment Aeris had said goodbye to her mother and closed the door behind her, Sephiroth exploded.

"That rude old woman is _not_ welcome here any more!" he exclaimed, so loudly that she was certain Elmyra could hear him while still inside the building.

Aeris' jaw dropped open, and she cringed away from him as if she'd been slapped. "Shh! How can you say that? She's my mother!"

"She has no manners, and treated my parents terribly right in front of us! I will not stand for it any longer!"

"Seph, please," Aeris said, taking a step toward him with her hand outstretched. She relied on touch to communicate and feel connected, and it often helped her to calm him. He quickly yanked his shoulder away and turned his back, however, and she bit her lip with concern. That was a very bad sign. "Let's talk about this. I'm really sorry that-"

"There is _nothing_ to talk about!" he nearly shouted, sending his dog running for the safety of the bedroom. "She had best stay away from me if she has any sense. I have taken her stares and abuse since the day she met me, and done everything possible to be kind to her, and she cannot even be respectful in my home for one evening."

"I'm sure she didn't mean it," Aeris said, her voice trembling as her husband's intense anger washed over her through their mental connection. It made her shudder, her stomach twisting in knots. She quickly grew tense and unsteady, her hands involuntarily clenching into fists at her sides. Was this how Sephiroth felt? "Sometimes she just says things without realizing…"

"Next time, she can say them _somewhere else_!"

Sephiroth began to pace across the living room, his hands clasped behind his back and his eyes directed, unseeing, toward the floor. They burned with pent up energy as he stormed back and forth, and she could hear his ragged breathing each time he passed by. His tension was rising quickly and Aeris feared he was not going to be able to get a hold of himself before something terrible happened. He was so angry, but also very upset and hurt, and he still had not learned how to deal with such strong emotions. She fought not to be overwhelmed by what she could not help but share with him, so that she could remain calm and hopefully diffuse the situation.

"Seph, can we sit down and talk about this, love?" Aeris tried again, ignoring her rising fear and how wild he looked. She briefly closed her eyes against the continuing assault of negative emotions coming from his direction, her head pounding just behind her eyes. She was briefly encouraged when Sephiroth paused and turned to face her, but the icy expression on his face chilled her to the bone.

"I wish to be left alone."

"That isn't going to make you feel better. You'll just stew over it and get more upset until you can't control it. Talk to me…" Aeris cautiously approached him, stopping a few feet away and bravely looking up into his eyes. "I'm listening, love."

Sephiroth frowned and chewed on his bottom lip, a habit Aeris had noticed in his mother during the evening. How strange that he had picked up both it and the hand wringing without ever having met her. Just when Aeris was certain he was about to bolt from the room to avoid the discussion, he finally sighed and shook his head.

"Why did you feel the need to invite her?" he demanded, his voice a low growl that had become increasingly unfamiliar as their relationship grew. "You _knew_ how she felt about Vincent. It was a foolish, selfish thing to do."

"I…" Aeris' eyes filled with tears, and she briefly looked down before continuing. "I'm so sorry, Seph. I know now that it was a mistake, but… I just felt so bad for her! We were shopping together and talking about your assignment, and it came up that your parents were coming over in the evening… She looked so sad and left out, and I felt so guilty and horrible for not asking her to come. She has no one else but me, and now you, too. We're her family. I just… wanted her to be a part of this so badly, and for all of us to be together." A few tears trailed down her cheeks, and she hastily lifted a hand to wipe them away. "I made her promise that she'd behave herself and not say anything embarrassing, and that she'd try not to stare at Vincent or treat him any differently. She did okay to a degree, and I think she would have gotten along with your mom all right, but…"

"Yes, my mother who had the horrid _affair_…"

Aeris sighed heavily but couldn't help but wince at the biting remark. "I know, I know… I about died in my seat when she said that. She's just… very old fashioned about her morals and the way the world is supposed to work, and she has a hard time breaking from those high ideals."

"What are you implying?" Sephiroth's eyes narrowed dangerously, and his entire posture went rigid again.

"Nothing! I understand why your parents did what they did! I'm just saying that _she _doesn't. She's from their generation… I know that's hard to remember… but she just seems so much older most of the time. I don't know why, but she always has. I just… I'm really sorry I thought this could work out, love. I just wanted it so badly, and I didn't think…"

"Fine. But she is still not welcome here any more."

Sephiroth folded his arms defensively across his chest, and the anger and tension that had begun to recede quickly started to rise again. Goosebumps rose on Aeris' bare limbs as an angry sneer crossed his face, twisting it into something she barely recognized. She backed up several paces despite herself, unsure of what exactly she feared. He had certainly never lifted a hand to her no matter how upset he got, so she knew the danger wasn't physical. But his words hurt her deeply, and she was unable to help but react instinctively.

"What? No! You can't do that, Seph. This is my home, too, and she'll always be my mother even when she makes a mistake. I would _never_ tell you your mom couldn't come over any more!"

"_My_ mother is not a backwards old hag who thinks she is superior to everyone else," Sephiroth growled back.

Aeris' eyes widened with shock, and she bristled with an anger of her own. How _dare _he insult her mother! Yes, she had behaved badly that evening and embarrassed them, but he still had no right. She loved Elmyra unconditionally, and he needed to understand and accept that. He was not going to come between mother and daughter, and Aeris was not going to stand there and let him insult her any longer. Her next words were out of her mouth before she even had a chance to think about them.

"Oh really? Your mother is hardly perfect, either, Sephiroth! Do I need to remind you of some of the things she's done to you and Vincent?!"

The room fell deathly silent as her voice faded away, the two of them left staring at each other as if they were two strangers. Aeris stood frozen, the silence ringing in her ears, and for a moment she feared she might faint. Very slowly, Sephiroth turned and exited the room, walking down the hallway with deadly calm. A moment later, she heard the door to the master bedroom click shut behind him.

_Gods, what have I done…_

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Vincent had lost track of time, crouched on the rooftop of the old building he called home and staring off into the night. He was perched at the very edge as if daring the aged shingles to give way, the tips of his boots hanging over into the abyss. His mind and body were at war with Chaos, the demon using his pain and tension to feed its desires and fuel its attempt to break free. He remained trapped in the early stages of transformation, yet despite the endless suffering and the powerful urge to give in, something inside him continued to resist.

He was filled with shame by what had happened that evening, so heavy and consuming that it was hard to breathe. He had brought so much embarrassment upon his son and his lover, simply by being what he was. The weak individual he'd been in the past, and now the foul creature he'd become… unfit to interact with normal people no matter how hard he tried to kid himself and blend in. He never should have bothered. All he had done was remind himself, and Lucrecia, of why she had rejected him in the first place… and it had all been on display in front of his son's family. How could he justify his continued existence?

Each time a buzzing insect or nocturnal creature caught his rapt attention, Chaos grew more and more frustrated and desperate to win his freedom, roaring with fury and assaulting Vincent with fresh waves of pain as it fought to tear free from the confines of its human host's body. It would have been so much easier to just give in… to drop his guard, grit his teeth, and endure the few moments of unbearable agony until he completely lost his senses. Then his mind would be obliterated by that of the demon for a while. He would not have to think or hurt any more, at least not until he came to again. Ignorance was bliss, and to allow himself to be swallowed up by Chaos would have almost been a relief after the evening he'd just endured. Yet as tempting as the prospect was, Vincent continued to fight just hard enough to prevent it. Giving in and escaping would be too easy, too good for him. He deserved to suffer. Sometimes, he wondered if he actually enjoyed the misery.

The thought was as sudden as it was disturbing, and for a moment it drew his mind away from a strange yet oddly pleasant memory of the wind beneath his wings that didn't entirely belong to him. Had he really been unhappy for so long that it had become a central part of him that he didn't know how to exist without? Vincent frowned, tearing his predatory eyes away from a passing moth and staring down at the vacant road below. He should have been so happy now that Lucrecia was alive and a part of his life. Things weren't perfect, but they were better than they'd ever been despite his altered body. Yet he could never seem to relax and enjoy it, as if he expected it all to be snatched away at any moment. And it was the expectation of loss itself that seemed to cause so many of his problems…

When he really thought about it and was honest with himself, Vincent had a difficult time conjuring up pleasant memories of his life. An unwanted bastard child born to a young mother who was shamed by his birth, Vincent had been a loathsome burden since the moment she first felt him stir within her womb. All he was told of his father was that he had wanted no part of him and left the country before he was born. His mother had always been cold and distant toward him, making it no secret that she had never wanted him and had little interest in his upbringing. He largely raised himself, even after she married and had a second child, a daughter, with her husband. Vincent had perfected the art of making himself silent and invisible to avoid the man, and the only one who showed him any kindness was his half sister. She risked punishment to spend time with him and share the special treats she received, and those stolen moments were among the only fond memories he had of his boyhood in Wutai. He sighed and briefly lifted his eyes to the heavens, wondering if she was still alive. Certainly she thought him long dead by now if she was, which was for the best…

Once he had left home in his teens, life had been difficult but much improved. He was lonely and self loathing, but once he found his way to Midgar he mostly enjoyed being a Turk and excelled at it despite the darker side he never completely grew comfortable with. And once he'd laid eyes on Lucrecia that day in the laboratory… he finally knew what it was to be happy. But for Vincent, nothing was ever simple or without pain, as Elmyra had reminded him that evening. Even after over thirty years, and knowing that Lucrecia was in the basement below and likely waiting in their bed, it still hurt beyond words that she had once decided to stay with an abusive man instead of running away with him. He swallowed hard as Chaos fed on his pain, his heart rate increasing and his fingers curling into claws that dug into the palm of his normal hand and made it bleed. Would it _ever_ stop hurting? He had long ago forgiven Lucrecia, but he had not been able to do the same for himself. He hadn't been good enough, strong enough, to convince her to leave with him… It had gotten her killed, and their son twisted and tormented until he'd lost his mind. Each breath Vincent drew was a struggle with so much on his conscience, and the demon eagerly standing by to feed on his anguish only made it harder to survive.

Even as he crouched there cursing himself and trembling with the strain of containing Chaos, another part of Vincent realized he was being foolish. He had done it again, the very thing he was supposed to be working on in his relationship… the thing he had promised her he would do his best to stop. He had been hurt and frightened, and instead of trying to deal with his feelings and communicate with Lucrecia, he'd shut her out and tried to chase her away again. When that had failed, he'd fled. He knew she'd stood outside staring up at the rooftop for a long time before she finally went into the house, and he tried to convince himself that he didn't care. He had no right to care, no right to miss her and want to be at her side. What right did he have to ask her to hold him and help him try to restrain the foul demon inside of him? How could he explain that a simple question had stirred up such self hatred and pain without hurting her or making himself seem pathetic? He knew she would listen and want to help him, but he was so unused to being able to lean on someone when he was weak that it terrified him. Though they had a long history together, they had never had a stable, normal relationship until recently, and he was still learning how to trust her. He'd never had anyone in his life he could be honest with before, and the idea of completely baring his soul remained disturbing. Vincent had no difficulty telling her how he felt about her… He had never had an issue with that, and words of love flowed easily between them. His feelings for her were so intense and overwhelming that it was natural to share them, and he couldn't have held back if he tried. But when it came to his fears, how he felt about himself, and Chaos… he remained awkward and embarrassed no matter how much she reassured him. How could anyone listen to all of that and still accept him, even if they truly wanted to?

Lucrecia was probably so disappointed… She'd been trying so hard, and he'd let her down and shown her how weak he was yet again. No matter how much she supported him, he collapsed under the pressure. How much more could she be expected to stand? Vincent's greatest fear was losing her, and his actions were slowly making it a reality. The actions of others didn't help matters, but he could control the way _he_ behaved, at least. It didn't have to be this way! He growled deep in his chest, his own frustrations mixed with those of Chaos, the cold midnight breeze blowing his hair across his face and nearly blinding him. What the hell was he doing? He belonged inside with Lucrecia, not perched up on the roof like some kind of crazed gargoyle.

Vincent got to his feet, stretching his aching body against Chaos' wishes and slowly working to reverse the transformation one bit at a time. The demon cried out in a rage, filling his mind with violent thoughts and an intense hatred that made him shudder. He closed his eyes and ignored it, fighting back and thinking of his warm, soft bed and the beautiful woman in it. Chaos' reaction was instant and strange, and Vincent paused, tilting his head in puzzlement. Instead of being repulsed and retreating from the powerful feelings he had for Lucrecia, this time there was an odd curiosity, and for just a moment an image of his lover seen through the demon's eyes filled his mind. Vincent froze, his own eyes suddenly wide open. What was going on? Why was Chaos suddenly interested in Lucrecia, and why did he seem to remember…? Vincent shook his head and grit his teeth, convinced it was another of the demon's foul tricks meant to unnerve him so it could gain control. It was not going to work. He may not have been able to change the past, or the way others chose to view him, but he could at least attempt to make things right with his beloved.

Vincent knew he had made a mistake that night. He'd failed the same test yet again, but finally the lesson hit him like a well-placed bullet. He did not need to suffer alone when something hurt him any more, because he was only one half of a whole. He would never have to be alone again, and it was time he began to act that way. While all his life he had needed to be strong enough to stand on his own, there was a different kind of strength in unity, one that was even stronger between two people who cared for each other as deeply as he and Lucrecia. Instead of running away like a wounded animal and allowing Chaos to torment him while his lover sat alone and worried, he could have simply gone inside with her and told her how he felt. She would have soothed his injured feelings and reassured him of her love for him, and everything would have been all right. She may have even made a few jokes at Elmyra's expense with her sharp wit, just one of the many things he loved about her. Lucrecia had managed to give him a sense of humor about himself and some of his more interesting quirks, and it felt good to be able to share private jokes and take himself less seriously. She even made him feel sexy, and the effect on their relationship and his confidence was dramatic. What would he ever do without her? It suddenly made so little sense to be out there on the rooftop that he almost could have laughed.

A ghost of a smile graced Vincent's lips as he walked toward the edge of the roof, feeling much closer to normal though he remained sore and shaken. All he wanted at that moment was to curl up beneath the blankets with Lucrecia, everyone else be damned. But as he prepared to leap down onto the banister, a large owl flew by and caught his attention, its wings beating the air as it launched itself into a tree. His head snapped up and he began to salivate, the fangs reforming in his mouth and the beginnings of wings instantly taking shape on his back. He heard himself growl as his vision became tinted with red, and his bones ached as his mass began to expand again. Chaos had been quietly lurking just beneath the surface, awaiting just such an opportunity, and when faced with the perfect prey its desperate attempt to break free was almost overwhelming. Vincent dropped to his knees, the pain claiming him as he doubled over and gripped his stomach. It hurt so badly, and he could barely remain conscious for long enough to react. But then he thought of Lucrecia and how he owed it to her to make it back inside, grit his teeth, and fought back with everything he had.

He closed his eyes tightly, focusing every bit of energy and every ounce of conviction on stopping the transformation and banishing the demon. Another strong jolt of pain assaulted him as he struggled to breathe, but he struggled back to his feet. A wave of nausea washed over him and he swallowed hard, clenching his hands into fists and fighting to calm himself and clear his mind. After several endless moments of tension and agony, he was able to breathe more easily, the pain slowly receding along with the demon's furious cries inside his mind. He cautiously opened his eyes, relaxing a bit and taking a deep breath. He exhaled sharply, both relieved and frightened by how close he had come to losing control yet again. As he finally jumped down from the roof and reached the door to the building, Chaos roared one last time in protest.

"Go to hell," Vincent said as he opened the door and stepped inside. It may not have been pretty, but it felt like a victory nonetheless.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Aeris sat with her legs folded beneath her in the middle of the living room carpet, eyes closed, hands lightly clasped in her lap. After Sephiroth had retreated to the bedroom, she was so upset and shaken that she decided to meditate before attempting to resolve the situation she'd just made much worse. She tried to forgive herself for lashing out and saying something so hurtful, realizing she was as prone to anger and frustration as anyone else, but she still felt horribly guilty and ashamed. Sephiroth adored and nearly worshipped Lucrecia, much as Vincent did, and while Aeris may not have understood it she did know that a word against her was akin to blasphemy. Speaking against her husband's mother in any way was probably the worst thing she could have done.

She had finally managed to quiet much of the fear and anger raging inside her mind, establishing a calm center from which to rebuild her stability. Once she felt stronger, she would go to Sephiroth, apologize, and try to talk to him more calmly. She knew he was wrong to speak of her mother as he had, but she also understood why he was so furious and needed to vent his frustration. Sephiroth was angry and hurt that his parents had been disrespected, which was actually a good thing in many ways, but his method of coping with those feelings was less than healthy. Elmyra had indeed behaved poorly that evening, and Aeris had every intention of speaking with her about it the following day. She was angry and embarrassed, and her mother needed to be aware of that. She regretted inviting her over but still felt it was the right thing to do, and that she had been stuck in a difficult position. Aeris wished she had been strong enough to maintain control and handle the situation better, but instead her emotions had controlled her, and mixed with those of her husband the combination had been explosive.

As she allowed her thoughts to drift and settle into an inner peace, a sudden image flashed before her mind's eye. A little boy with silver hair trailing into his eyes, no more than three years old, sitting in an oversized blue armchair. He watched as a woman approached, fear in his wide green eyes. A small toy soldier was clutched in his hand, and suddenly it fell to the ground… the sharp sound of flesh meeting flesh, and then there was silence. A brief flash of light, and the image was gone.

Fear, pain, longing… A powerful current of emotion jolted through Aeris' consciousness as another image flashed before her. The same small boy curled up in the chair, his face black and blue, staring out the window into the night. There were tears in his eyes but they did not fall, and when his lips moved they uttered a single word. Mother.

_Where is my mother?_

Aeris' eyes flew open and she gasped, raising one hand to grip her chest and nearly losing her balance. The apartment was still and quiet, and she had no idea how long she had been meditating. She blinked rapidly to clear the haze from her thoughts, looking around the room and finding herself alone. She shakily rose to her feet, instantly turning to face the hallway that led to the master bedroom. The images, the emotions… so strong and clear… They had been coming from her husband.

Aeris was amazed as she took a few tentative steps forward, still struggling to slow her breathing and digest what had just happened. When they meditated together, or were otherwise involved in close, intimate moments, the strange mental connection that often allowed their emotions to touch often became something more… Bits of shared thoughts and memories would pass between them, seen through each other's eyes as if they had been there and shared the experience. It was as amazing as it was frightening, yet it had become a deep part of their relationship they'd come to cherish. Sephiroth had struggled with the idea of Aeris seeing so much of what was in his mind, and indeed still did, but had for the most part grown to accept it and learned to trust her. They still did not know if it was his magical powers and Jenova cells, her Cetra abilities, or a combination of both that caused the mysterious connection, but it had only grown stronger with time. When either of them was upset, the bond seemed to go into overdrive, reaching out across the distance for its partner. Even had she wanted to, Aeris could not have resisted the strong urge to go to him that seemed to physically move her in his direction.

As she approached the bedroom door, she could feel that Sephiroth's anger had lessened, replaced by an aching hurt and loneliness he was fighting hard to repress. She could almost see him standing at the window with the moonlight on his face, longing for comfort but unsure of how to ask for it. Aeris knew they had both acted badly, which was usually the case in an argument, but also realized she was better equipped to take the first step toward a resolution. His mind had reached out to hers for help whether he'd meant to or not, and she was not going to abandon him.

Aeris opened the door and stepped inside the darkened room, finding him exactly as she'd pictured. Blade lifted his head from the center of their bed and regarded her warily, his warm brown eyes full of concern. She favored him with a smile and he seemed to relax, dropping his head and stretching out to enjoy having the bed to himself while his humans were distracted. He was not supposed to be up there, but Aeris didn't say anything. She definitely had more important things to worry about at the moment. Sephiroth didn't move from his position, though she knew he was aware of her presence. His posture stiffened ever so slightly, but she sensed a slight hint of… relief?

"Seph… can we talk?" she asked softly, stopping a few feet behind him. She wanted badly to reach out and hold him, but knew better than to force him.

There was no reaction for long moments, but finally his shoulders heaved with a great sigh and he slowly turned to face her. His features were pinched with tension, and he struggled to meet her eyes much as he had when they'd first met. When he did, there was such sorrow in them that she couldn't help but step forward and throw her arms around him. She buried her face in his chest and held him tightly, relieved when his arms found their way around her slender form a moment later.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered against him, unwilling to let go of him. "I shouldn't have said what I did… Things just got out of hand. It was a really long night, and we're both already a bit on edge because you'll be away for a few days soon… I just want to fix this, any way we have to."

There was silence, but after a moment she sighed with relief when she felt the tension between them break. Suddenly, their connection was flooded with love and need, and their embrace grew more desperate. Sephiroth rested his chin atop her head, and Aeris melted against him and closed her eyes.

"I was wrong, too. I… hate what your mother did, but you are right. She is still your mother, and I would not take her from you. As much as I… love mine, I should have known better than that."

"I promise I'll talk to her. That will _never_ happen again… She hurt me by acting that way, too, not just you and your parents. Maybe once she realizes how much, she'll try harder."

"I am certain she is just worried for your safety… But I wish she would trust my judgment by now. Vincent is harmless. He is likely more afraid of her than she is of him."

Aeris giggled against him. "Yeah… Although he looked pretty upset tonight. I hope everything's okay…"

"I am sure my mother will take care of him," Sephiroth said confidently, and Aeris finally lifted her head to smile up at him. It was so good to hear him accept his parents as a couple, and to almost sound proud of how happy they were together.

"Are we okay, then?" Aeris asked him hopefully, reaching up to caress his cheek. As she gazed into his eyes, their love for each other again washed over her, and the anger and tension of the evening was quickly forgotten. "I really am sorry…"

"Of course." Sephiroth leaned down and kissed her softly, and she was unable to help but yawn as she settled back against him. "Shall we try to get some rest? Then we can spend all of tomorrow together before I leave on my mission Friday."

"That sounds like a great idea," Aeris agreed. Though she knew the issue with her mother was far from resolved, and also planned to visit Vincent and Lucrecia soon to apologize in person, at least things between she and her husband were back to normal. It was good to love someone so much that it was next to impossible to remain angry for very long. She was also proud of how far they had come, and how well they were able to communicate and resolve their differences.

Sephiroth finally released her from his arms and began to shrug out of his shirt as he turned to face the bed, but stopped mid motion as he stared at the large, snoring lump sprawled across the center of it. Aeris laughed at his indignant expression as she removed her nightgown from the closet.

"Blade! Why are you on our bed? Off!"

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Lucrecia had laid in bed tossing and turning for an unknown amount of time when she finally heard the door to the basement apartment open. She sighed with relief, lying on her side facing the wall and finally allowing herself to get comfortable. She was frustrated and a bit angry at Vincent for running off and refusing to talk to her about what had happened at dinner, but at least he had come back within a reasonable amount of time. She'd been worried he'd transformed after how he'd looked and acted on their way home… something she'd never seen before. His ears were pointed, his complexion was purplish, he had grown fangs, and he was taller and more muscular. His eyes, too, were different, and there was an expression behind them that was foreign and chilling. Even still, she had wanted nothing more than to comfort him, but he simply wouldn't let her. She'd been willing to look past his appearance and her fear to try to help him, but he continued to push her away. She had no idea what else she could do to convince him that he could trust her.

She listened as the bedroom door opened a short time later and soft footsteps crossed the room. She could feel his presence beside the bed, sensing that he was standing there but not moving. She remained still and pretended to be asleep, unsure of what kind of mood he was in and still a bit upset with him. A moment later, she heard him sigh softly, and he gently moved aside the comforter. Then he quietly climbed into bed beside her, keeping a polite distance between them.

Lucrecia frowned, disappointed but not surprised. Every time something bothered Vincent, he shut down as if he had no idea how to reach out for support. Even when she came to him and offered it, he didn't know how to accept. She knew about his difficult childhood and understood why it was hard for him, but it didn't make it any less frustrating and heartbreaking. When he rejected her, it still hurt just as much. She resolved to speak with him about it in the morning, even though previous conversations seemed to have fallen on deaf ears. They'd been doing so well and making so much progress, though, and she didn't want him to start reverting to the way he'd been before. She only wanted him to be happy, and to take care of him for the rest of his life. All he needed to do was relax and _let her_. Why could he not _see _that?

Vincent didn't move again, and Lucrecia assumed he was either going to try to sleep or lay there and think for the night. She had just about fallen asleep when a tentative arm found its way around her waist. She managed to stay still, allowing herself a slight smile of satisfaction. Maybe there was some hope for him after all. Slowly, Vincent's arm tightened around her and he eased her back until she fit neatly against his lean body. She felt so safe, tucked in against him as if she'd been made to fit there, that it was easy to forget she'd ever been upset with him. She allowed herself a contented sigh as he settled onto her pillow, nuzzling against her affectionately. She knew he believed she was asleep and sensed that he wasn't ready to speak with her about what had happened yet, keeping up the illusion and allowing him to hold her and comfort himself. When he was ready to talk, he would let her know. For now, she was relieved to have him back at her side. She had just about drifted off again when she heard him whisper quietly against the back of her neck.

"I'm so sorry… Please forgive me…"

"There's nothing to forgive, my love," she said sleepily, rolling over in his arms so that she was facing him. He tightened his embrace almost painfully as she draped one leg across him, gazing up into his eyes. He looked so sad that it made her want to cry, and she quickly lifted her hand to caress his pale cheek. "Do you want to talk about it?"

His gaze was so intense that she shivered, the close contact between them making it tempting to forget all about their problems as they so often did and communicate their emotions without words. But that had solved little in the past, and the burdened look in Vincent's eyes hinted that he knew it, too. He finally sighed and frowned, briefly closing his eyes before regarding her cautiously.

"Maybe… a little…" he said, his deep voice so quiet she barely heard him. Lucrecia smiled softly, settling in against him and watching him closely.

"Whenever you're ready, baby. I'm listening."

* * *

((**Author's Notes: - **Holy long chapter of drama, kids. That Seph/Aeris argument was so much fun to write, and I owe my beta CykeclopsFF7 for the line where Aeris insults Lucrecia. Oops. Anyway, I struggled some with Vincent's part in this, largely because I've been very depressed (My brother's beloved cat escaped the house as I was coming in and we've yet to find him, so please keep him in your thoughts. His name is Bruno.) and just down on myself and feeling incapable of doing anything right. It needed a lot of reworking because there was a lot of raw emotion I needed to get out, but I think it ended up decent. I hope you like my version of Vincent's past better than the lame stuff they tried to feed us in DoC (DoC? What's that? ;). I'll probably elaborate on it in my next fic. So yeah, lots going on in there. I hope it was dramatic, exciting and a bit warm and fuzzy.

- My birthday is this Sunday, October 21st. We'll just not mention how old I'm gonna be. My gift to all of you was this here giant drama chapter. Aren't you so glad I was born? Haha. I would love some extra birthday reviews/favs/follows on any of my fics if you'd be so kind! Yeah, I know, that's lame of me, but geez, those are hard to come by!

- In upcoming news, I'm starting to brainstorm regularly with my beta and outline my next multi-chapter fic, which is more or less the sequel to this one and the next step forward in my AU. The title is "_Internal Warfare_." It's looking like it will be a very long story involving multiple plotlines and a number of characters/pairings (Vincent is still number one, of course, never fear), so I hope you guys intend to follow me there. I'd miss you! I expect _Transformations_ to have maybe another 3 or 4 chapters, but I am not 100% sure how soon after I will begin the next fic. It won't be long, though, as I'm excited about it and wouldn't know what to do with myself. In the meantime, I am also still working hard on my Tseng/Elena fic, Closing the Distance. An update on that should be incoming over the next few days.

- Okay, sorry, I'm done now! Big chapters need big notes. Thanks again, as always, for being the most kick-ass readers in the fandom! _~ JenesisX _))


	26. Chapter Twenty Five: Soul Mates

**Chapter Twenty Five: Unity**

((**Author's Notes: **More at the end of the chapter, but a quick announcement first. I have a brand new **Facebook page**! The link is in my profile here, or you can search for JenesisX on FB. Please stop by and feel free to post a message, and I'd be thrilled if you 'like' me. I decided to do that instead of a blog, and post updates, progress reports and other random stuff about my AU pretty much daily. And we can chat, too. Thanks for checking it out! _~ JenesisX _))

* * *

"_Whenever you're ready, baby. I'm listening."_

Lucrecia's words were both comforting and terrifying, and for a moment Vincent strongly regretted saying that he might be ready to talk about how he was feeling. But the warmth of her eyes had drawn him in, offering protection and understanding, and he'd been nearly hypnotized. The safety of her embrace hadn't hurt, either, making it nearly impossible for him to resist anything she asked of him. He knew he'd disappointed and hurt her by spending so long by himself out on the roof, and it was equally clear that she wanted him to let her know what was going on inside his head. He had to at least try…

He admitted part of him had been relieved when he thought she was asleep upon his return home. He knew it was cowardly, but he'd felt so ashamed of himself and unsure of how to face her. It was so much easier to climb into bed and take her in his arms, leaving the rest until morning. Vincent was so distracted by his own pain and exhaustion that his senses had not picked up on the fact that she was actually awake until she'd spoken, and he'd been completely taken off guard. It was another reason he found himself agreeing to speak with her so easily… He simply hadn't had time to recover and think about what he was doing. Now, he couldn't very well take it back when she was gazing up into his face so expectantly, and he swallowed hard against the nausea he felt.

Lucrecia's hand against his pale cheek was warm and gentle, and she began to softly caress the side of face as if she could sense how uncomfortable he was. He had a feeling he looked like a wild animal who had been backed into a corner, even though he was lying beneath a warm blanket and wrapped tightly in the limbs of his devoted lover. She kept her leg draped softly across him almost as if she feared he might flee, waiting patiently for Vincent to gather his nerve. Or perhaps she fully expected him to back out… She _had _looked surprised when he actually said he wanted to talk about what had upset him, and he could hardly blame her after the way he usually handled such matters. His first instinct was to do exactly what he had hours before… run away and brood. His second instinct was to find solace in her arms, and when she'd rolled over and held him they'd come very close to trying to forget about the painful evening and spending the rest of the night making love. He knew she would have been an enthusiastic participant, but also that it wasn't what she really needed from him. She wanted to understand what he had experienced during the evening, and what had made him push her away and insist on being alone… and somehow, he had to try to find a way to explain. But where could he even begin?

As he shyly met her eyes, her fingers gently brushing his bangs away from his forehead, he knew he would not be able to tell her of the intense pain he felt any time he was reminded of her rejection in the past. He couldn't do that to her… he wouldn't make her feel guilty for something she couldn't change. He'd long forgiven her for it, and he didn't see the point of hurting her by bringing it up again. Vincent accepted that the pain would always be there, a deep ache in his chest he'd likely have to live with the rest of his life… but it would be his pain to bear alone. He would do anything to spare her from sharing it. Some of the other things he'd experienced that evening, such as the embarrassment he brought to those he loved and the way Elmyra had treated him, were also unpleasant… but he was more willing to attempt to discuss some of those. A pang of guilt raced through him when he admitted that he was not going to be entirely honest with Lucrecia about what had upset him so much, but he quickly pushed it away. It was for the best, and to protect her. Even had he really wanted to, he wasn't sure he could have found the strength to make himself tell her everything… it hurt that deeply. As it was, he didn't even know if he would be able to share the less painful things. He simply wasn't very good at opening himself in such a way, and previous attempts had been either fumbling and awkward, or quickly aborted.

Vincent was mortified when he actually began to shiver despite how closely entwined he was with Lucrecia and the thick comforter thrown over them. Was the thought of talking about his feelings really so horrifying that it was making him physically ill? All his life, such talk had been forbidden, and much of his emotions were dark and painful. The only real experience he had was sharing how he felt about Lucrecia, and that came so easily after their first night together that it was nearly effortless. It wasn't a simple matter to just decide to start conversing about everything he felt after a lifetime of avoiding it, especially when one also had the baggage and unwanted counterpart he shared his body with. Gods, he hoped she realized that…

"Hey… it's all right," Lucrecia said quietly, her expression suddenly concerned. She moved her arm to his back, running her hand soothingly along his spine. "I'm so sorry you're this nervous about it… If you don't want to do this right now, it's okay. I know how hard it is for you. I won't be upset."

To hear her offer him an escape sent an instant rush of relief through his veins, but a moment later Vincent quickly slammed the door closed and blocked his last chance to get away. No, he was _not_ going to be a coward and let her help him slip out of this without facing his fears. She was the one who wanted him to open up and talk so badly, and for just a second he was angry with her for giving him an excuse not to go through with it. Vincent knew she meant well, though, and that he likely looked terrified and ill with dread. He knew he would have done the same for her. He briefly closed his eyes and shook his head, sighing quietly and trying to move in even closer against her.

"No. I'm tired of running away. I… want to try to tell you how I feel. I am just nervous…" Vincent hung his head and again wondered why he was putting them both through this. There was a reason he avoided talking about his deepest fears and emotions, after all. He was terrible at it, and it scared the hell out of him. Lucrecia, however, reached out and lifted his chin until he was forced to meet her eyes again, leaning forward to softly kiss his lips.

"You'll be fine. You can't share your feelings 'wrong.' And by now you really should know you won't say anything that will change how I feel."

"I don't even know where to start…"

"Well," she said, still holding his gaze and keeping her tone quiet and gentle, "I could help you and ask a few questions to get you started if you like…? But you don't have to answer. It could just help to get you talking, and then you might be surprised."

Vincent thought about it for a moment, the terror he felt about baring his soul warring with the comfort and safety of his lover's embrace. At least Chaos was quiet for the moment, and he was able to think completely on his own. That was a blessing. He ran his hand through Lucrecia's hair as he argued with himself, trying to summon all of the courage he'd ever had. Why should it be so hard to talk to the woman he loved? It left him frustrated and angry with himself, yet he felt as if a thick, nearly impenetrable wall remained between them, one he was helpless to scale no matter how strong their love had grown. Every time he tried, he froze or turned and retreated. But she was looking at him so hopefully, with such love and understanding, that he knew he had to try again, just once more, no matter how afraid he was.

"All right," he managed to whisper, unable to look away as if hypnotized. Lucrecia smiled, and he felt himself relax just a little. When she leaned forward to kiss him again, he almost started to believe he had made the right decision.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Lucrecia had been shocked when Vincent replied that he wanted to talk about how he was feeling, even if it had come with the cautious disclaimer of "a little." She'd expected him to shake his head, close his eyes, and quietly hold her while she slept. Or maybe they'd have made love first, which she certainly would not have minded in the least, holding each other until they both felt more secure. But his unexpected offer to actually discuss what he was feeling and why he'd fled onto the roof, well, that was even better.

She just wished he didn't look so terrified about it.

"Don't you remember how we used to lay like this and talk about anything, for hours at a time, sometimes all night?"

"Yes. But that was… before."

"That's so much of your problem, Vincent. We're still the same people, and I don't think about us any differently. Yet you do, no matter what I say. I want to change that so badly…"

"I'm sorry…"

"I'm not trying to make you feel bad, baby… I just want you to understand. I wish you could relax and talk to me like you used to. I don't want you to worry so much, and to stop comparing yourself to what you were like thirty years ago. Do you think you can try, for us?"

Vincent nodded weakly, though he still looked guilty and nearly sick with worry. Lucrecia gently brushed back his bangs from in front of his eyes and smiled, willing to accept that for now.

"All right. Then to start, let me ask you this… Why did you run off as soon as we left their apartment? And why wouldn't you let me try to help you?"

Vincent cringed slightly and closed his eyes, and for a moment Lucrecia feared he was not going to answer. Maybe he wasn't able to go through with it after all. While she would be disappointed and a bit hurt, she would accept it and not push him. They had had a very difficult evening, he most especially, and she was glad just to have him back inside and lying in bed with her safe and sound. She had just about given up when he sighed quietly and uttered a single word.

"… embarrassed."

"You were embarrassed?" she asked, surprised. "_Why_? It wasn't you who did anything wrong." She had thought he was mostly angry, which had caused him to have difficulty containing Chaos. And that always seemed to make him seek solitude…

"Just by being there tonight… I embarrassed Sephiroth and Aeris. And worst of all, I embarrassed you."

"What? No!" she exclaimed, reaching out and placing the palm of her hand firmly against his cheek. "I'm proud to be with you, Vincent. I'm not embarrassed because one stupid woman wanted to act like a stuffy bitch."

Vincent lifted an eyebrow, and a slow smirk spread across his face. Lucrecia didn't usually swear, and it seemed to amuse him. She couldn't help but smile back, loving the way the expression lit up his face. Whatever worked. It quickly faded, however, and he was soon frowning again.

"My presence made everyone uncomfortable. I often feel it would be better… if I was not around at all."

"Please don't say that," Lucrecia whispered, tears filling her eyes as her chest instantly grew tight. "Gods, if I had come back to the Planet and found that you weren't here, I don't know what I would have done…"

"I am sure you would have managed. Sephiroth would have taken care of you."

"I thought of you as soon as I woke up in the lab," Lucrecia told him, a single tear escaping to trail down her cheek. Vincent's eyes shifted to follow it. "It still felt as if I'd just seen you the day before… I knew somehow that Sephiroth was all right, but I had a horrible feeling something had happened to you. All I wanted to do was escape so I could find you and make sure you were safe. And… apologize for everything I'd done to you."

"There was never any need for that," Vincent said quietly, tightening his embrace around her almost painfully. She never would have complained, though, running her hand along his back as he spoke. "I was never upset with you."

"A lot of times I really wish you were…"

There was a period of awkward silence, Vincent still holding onto her almost desperately as Lucrecia fought against the guilt that had risen up and attempted to drown her. She couldn't bring herself to look up and meet his eyes, knowing she would find his usual adoring look of unconditional love and feeling more than ever than she didn't deserve it. But if _she _lectured _Vincent_ when he spoke of himself that way when it came to her love, how could she justify lying there feeling so depressed while the conversation she'd promised to help lead died around them?

"I think _everyone_ was uncomfortable and embarrassed tonight, but not by you," Lucrecia finally managed to continue, lifting her head to meet Vincent's eyes. He looked surprised and a bit confused, as if unsure why she had gone quiet and then abruptly started speaking again, but he reached out and traced his long, graceful fingers along the line of her jaw and down her neck and collar bone. "The way _Elmyra_ acted was embarrassing. It was like… being stuck in line in a store where a customer is being rude to an employee, or overhearing a really racist conversation, but you can't get out of the room. Do you know what I mean? Only this was far worse, because she's supposed to be family and she was almost openly hostile toward you in front of all of us. I don't care if she's supposedly afraid of you or not. If she was really so scared, she wouldn't have been _provoking_ you… and that was what it seemed like to me!"

Vincent nodded hesitantly, his expression thoughtful. Lucrecia took a moment to bite down on the anger she felt as she recalled the way her son's mother in law had looked at her lover throughout the evening, as if he was a vile monstrosity and not the gentle, moral man she loved who spent his time protecting everyone on the base and fighting so hard against the demon inside him and his difficult past. Perhaps she would have to have a conversation with the woman when she was a bit more in control of her emotions.

"Did you see Aeris' face when Elmyra made the comment about us having an affair?" Lucrecia continued, wanting to be sure Vincent realized that he was not the reason the evening had been so unpleasant. "She was _mortified_! And I know you couldn't see poor Seph on the other side of me, but he was wringing his hands, grinding his teeth, and just miserable the entire time. You know he doesn't act that way around either one of us any more, so what was different? _Elmyra_."

"True…"

Lucrecia smiled softly and placed her palm against his cheek, leaning forward to kiss him. His agreement may not have been filled with enthusiasm, but it felt like a bit of a victory nonetheless. Vincent's next words made the feeling very short lived, however.

"If I did not look like this, however, Elmyra would have had no reason to behave that way in the first place."

"Oh, Vincent," Lucrecia sighed, running her hand through his wild hair and studying him closely. "Baby, there is _nothing_ wrong with the way you look."

"How old are your glasses?" he asked dryly.

"As old as this body, and that's not very. I see just fine, Vincent, and you are a very attractive… and downright sexy… gentleman."

She watched as Vincent rolled his eyes and heaved a sigh, looking almost pained by her words. She would never understand that. It was as if hearing her tell him how handsome he was, and how much she was attracted to him actually hurt him somehow. Why? He had to know she meant it… He didn't look that different, for one, and she very obviously still wanted him and initiated intimate activity between them more frequently than _he_ approached _her_. Vincent had always been more passive and shy about that, as if he feared rejection or thought he might be imposing upon or bothering her. The very thought almost made her laugh. Where he got some of his ideas and concerns, she would never understand. But this idea that he was somehow ugly and unappealing… it blew her mind more than anything else.

"Hardly," he muttered, averting his red eyes that shone slightly in the dark. She felt him shift his clawed left hand further beneath his body, sighing inwardly. She'd grown so used to it that she barely noticed now when he finally gave in and touched her with it, progress she was quite proud of. But he remained extremely self conscious, and likely always would.

"Why do you never believe me?" she asked softly, lifting his chin so he was forced to meet her eyes. "Is it not obvious to you that I'm very attracted to you? I always have been, and I always will be. It's actually quite an effort to concentrate on the conversation laying with you like this, you know."

Her comment won a weak smile, and Vincent leaned in and softly touched his lips to hers. She took the opportunity to kiss him back more deeply, finally forcing herself to break the contact before she proved her point a little too well. He blinked, disappointed, but went right back to frowning darkly.

"Maybe you found me passable thirty years ago, and now you simply remember that time and think you find me attractive because you love me," Vincent said, the naked pain in his eyes enough to make her throat constrict. It hurt so much to see the way he suffered and tormented himself, and she felt helpless to do a thing to comfort him. She told him constantly how she felt about him, physically expressed her attraction and affection, yet it wasn't enough. He was still unconvinced and hurting, and she seemed unable to reach him. On some level, Lucrecia realized she was a hypocrite, for no matter how many times Vincent told her she was beautiful she still found herself to be plain and unappealing when she looked in the mirror. She would never believe there was anything special about herself, still surprised even after so many years that someone as wonderful as he found her so attractive and remained so devoted. Lucrecia did understand how he felt, but Vincent's level of self loathing and insecurity went far beyond anything she had ever experienced or knew how to handle. She had always seen it in him, but the changes he had been through had amplified it tenfold.

"Gods, Vincent, do you really believe that?" she whispered, tears filling her eyes as she studied his mournful expression. "Passable? Are you _kidding_ me? When I first saw you, you took my breath away."

"You are the only one who has ever thought so, then."

"Maybe you just never noticed. You're so shy, and you never really _tried _to catch anyone's attention or took notice of the women around you. In fact, I bet you probably chased them away without even realizing it half the time."

Vincent grunted a reluctant acknowledgment, absently running his hand through her hair and avoiding her gaze.

"See. _I _actually pursued you, and something clicked between us and helped you let down your defenses. The fact that you were single into your late twenties had _nothing_ to do with your appearance and you _know_ it."

"Fine. But now… I do not know how you can insist I am still attractive. How you can still… want me…"

He closed his eyes, the shame written all over his face. Lucrecia bit her lip, telling herself she would not cry. She wanted to comfort him, and she needed to stay strong. She tenderly caressed his pale cheek, wishing he would look at her.

"Let me tell you exactly what I see when I look at you, Vincent," she said softly, feeling his fingers curl possessively into the skin of her back. "Your face has not changed a bit, though you smile less and look so sad sometimes. Your eye color is different, but the emotion in them is the same, and when you look into mine I can still see into your soul just like before. Your hair is longer, but once I got used to it I liked it… It's so soft, and it looks good on you."

Vincent slowly opened his eyes and regarded her cautiously as she continued to run her hand along his face and through his hair, shifting to hook her leg more tightly around his hip. She wanted him to feel secure, and to realize how much she meant every word. She'd tried to tell him so many times before, but he still had not believed. Maybe this time, lying so close together and when they'd been making steady progress, she could finally get through to him.

"I hardly notice your left arm any more, and I only worry because of how much it upsets you and what you went through that night. I was concerned at first because of how thin you've gotten, but you've put on weight since I've been back and look much healthier now. You're pale, but I know you can't handle sunlight, and your skin is so soft. You've gotten quieter, and you dress differently, but really, baby… You look so much like you did back then it's like time stood still. When you hold me and I look in your eyes it's like nothing has changed… I just wish you felt the same."

"But I do!" Vincent said quickly, raising his hand to grip her shoulder tightly. "I love you just as deeply, if not more, than I ever did. Please do not doubt that, or take my insecurities to mean that I feel less strongly about us. I just cannot understand… on the way home, you saw… I was beginning to lose control to Chaos. How can you see that and still…?"

Lucrecia saw the sorrow and shame in his eyes, and for just a moment she thought of telling him everything… how she had awakened in the night and met Chaos face to face. She longed to tell him, to prove to him that she had stared his demon in the eye and had still not walked away from their relationship, and that the creature had decided not to harm her for whatever reason. But Vincent looked so worried, his eyes begging her for reassurance, that she was unable to make herself do it. Maybe later, when he was feeling stronger. But not tonight…

"Vincent, I'm _never _going to turn away from you when you need me," she said, her voice breaking as tears filled her eyes once more. She ran her fingers along the side of his face, feeling his arm snake around her waist to nearly crush her against him. "I know you can't help that, and that you had no choice in what was done to you. I've accepted it and all the things that go along with it. I want to be there to help you when you're struggling with Chaos, and to understand better what you go through, but you won't let me! It's so frustrating, and it hurts when you shut me out… I want to be there for you when you're hurting, but you keep pushing me away."

Unable to hold back any longer, the tears began to slip down her cheeks as she rested her palm against his face, their eyes locked intensely. Vincent visibly winced as if struck, lifting his hand to gently brush them away.

"Please don't cry… I never meant to hurt you," he said, his deep voice nearly a whisper. "I just… cannot stand for you to see me that way. I am so afraid that…"

He stopped abruptly, closing his eyes. Lucrecia felt him begin to tremble in her arms, her eyes widening when a single tear slid down his cheek. She gently brushed it away with her thumb, watching him closely and pressing her body against his. She felt him take a deep breath, and slowly he opened his eyes and met hers again. His pale cheeks flushed with embarrassment and he awkwardly cleared his throat, his arm slipping back around her body. She smiled softly, encouraging him to continue. Finally, he sighed and managed to find his voice again.

"I am afraid that you will be so disgusted and frightened that you will leave me…"

"Vincent, I promised you that will never happen," Lucrecia said, shifting her hand around to the back of his neck. "I'm never going to leave you, no matter what I see or what else happens. The worst is already behind us, and even death couldn't keep me away. You've just got to trust me, baby, and start to believe in yourself. We're in this together, and I don't think there's any force in existence strong enough to separate us."

They gazed intensely into each other's eyes, neither able to look away. Lucrecia's heart began to race, relieved to see much of the fear and sorrow gone from her lover's gaze. It was replaced by an intense love, his hand finding its way up her side and arm to the run through her hair and come to rest at the back of her head. A slow smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he studied her, his body no longer trembling and his expression far more relaxed. She watched as the slow fire of passion began to burn in his eyes, making her skin come alive with goose bumps.

"You are an amazing woman… and I love you," he said, easing her toward him and kissing her passionately. Lucrecia held onto him and kissed him back, easily giving in to their shared desire for one another. For once, they had resolved their issues through conversation first. They certainly deserved to enjoy each other's company for the rest of the evening, she thought absently as he claimed her mouth. Pulling away after a moment, Lucrecia playfully pushed him onto his back and climbed on top of him, pinning his shoulders down to the bed as they continued to kiss each other. He kept his hand behind her head, and she felt his clawed limb come to rest at the small of her back, something he never would have done even a few weeks before. As things quickly became heated, Lucrecia melted against her lover, relieved that he had finally opened up and shared his feelings with her. Finally, she felt as if their relationship was truly moving ahead, and their shared future looked bright.

* * *

((**Author's Notes**: Oh, what fun! I am so sorry for the huge delay in posting this chapter. Or well, doing _anything_ online. First of all, as I posted in my last author's notes, we had lost my brother's beloved cat Bruno when he snuck out the door on me. We searched for four days, round the clock, in rain or shine… but we FOUND HIM the day before my birthday! The whole thing exhausted me physically and emotionally, however, and I hit a bit of a slump. Then I caught a bad cold. THEN **Hurricane Sandy **arrived. I live just outside Philadelphia, PA, as you may know. We only got rain and some fairly impressive wind, but on Monday, October 29th, we lost power in the afternoon. So we had no heat, no cable and internet, no _nothing_. I only have a very basic phone, so while I could text my beta and a few other friends, I could only check my e-mail sometimes, and the damn thing's battery dies quickly. We had a small generator to run the fridge and oven for a few hours in the evening when everyone else was home, and also my computer so I could use my word processor to write, which is how I got this and my chapter for Closing the Distance finished. So they've been sitting here mostly done, but unable to reach my beta or all of you. Our power was finally restored just before midnight on Saturday November 3rd. So 6 freaking days, and I have NO IDEA what took so long when we did NOT have major damage in this area, nor even much of a storm. We have had far worse weather here in the past and lost power for only a few hours. Again, I apologize, but… act of nature, not my fault! Haha. Hope the wait was worth it, at least…

- This chapter actually almost did not happen. At first I had no intention of writing Vincent and Lucrecia's conversation and was going to leave it to the imagination, but after more thought and consultation with the lovely and brilliant CykeclopsFF7, I changed my mind. I'm _really_ glad I did. I think it's an important scene and came out well, and hey, it made the fic a chapter longer, as several people have asked me to do. ;) It was a bit hard to write, as highly emotional and complex conversations tend to be. I hope I did it justice. Feedback is greatly appreciated, as always.

- In other news, Cykeclops and I have been very busy bees (other than my unwanted 'vacation'). We are finally putting together a website for my Irony of Fate Alternate Universe. It will contain information about my continuity, summaries of my main fics, character profiles, and a lot of other fun stuff. She is doing the coding and graphics while I am writing the content and sort of directing her on how I would like it to be organized. I am hoping we will have it prepared by the time I begin my next major fic_, Internal Warfare_… which should be at the end of this year or the very beginning of next (soon after Transformations ends). Once there is some actual content to go with the pretty images, I'll post the link in my profile. So the Facebook page, and also a new website, too! Exciting times! Til next time, _~ JenesisX _))


	27. Chapter Twenty Six: Omens

**Chapter Twenty Six: Omens**

_The glowing green tendrils of the Lifestream flowed all around her as she wandered along the path, an endless sea of green surrounding her on all sides. As Aeris traveled the stone path and looked up into the bright green sky, a feeling of wellness and peace washed over her, and she couldn't help but smile. It was all so beautiful and serene, and a large part of her felt as if she had come home._

_She had no idea where she was going, but somehow it didn't matter. The only sound was that of the energy of the Lifestream, leaping out of the calm sea on either side of the path and into the sky. The arcing green jets shot high into the air, crossing over and through each other before reentering the pool far in the distance. The very air was alive with its power, and Aeris felt goose bumps rise on her bare arms each time one of the glowing beams rose within close distance. _

_When she reached a fork in the road a short time later, she paused for a moment, observing her surroundings. No matter how many times she visited this place, she was still filled with awe, her mind flooded with its beauty and power. She felt such a strong connection to everything around her, as if she was a part of the very energy it held, but she was unable to understand why. _

_To her right, a twisting path lined with tall trees that glowed with the power of the Lifestream led off into a lush forest full of new life and promise. Aeris smiled, knowing she would very much enjoy exploring such a lovely place and everything hidden beneath the thick canopy. But there were two options, and she turned her head to look in the opposite direction. Down the path to her left were a series of tall buildings made of large shells, instantly reminding her of the City of the Ancients. They were a good distance away, but Aeris felt powerfully drawn to them. Forgetting all about the forest and the promise of the wildlife within, she had just begun to walk toward the buildings when a soft female voice called out to her._

"_Wait…"_

_Unafraid, for nothing in the Lifestream had ever harmed her, Aeris stopped and turned toward the voice. She was surprised to see the figure of a beautiful woman stepping out from behind one of the trees and moving toward her as if floating just above the ground. Her form was not quite solid, almost ghostly, and her stunning white hair trailed nearly to her ankles. She wore a long flowing dress, flowers braided into her hair and a large pendant around her neck. She was beautiful, Aeris thought, though there was something about her that made her feel unusually on edge. Somehow, she knew this woman was important, and that she needed to listen to her._

"_We are growing stronger every day," she said, her voice a soft, melodic whisper. Her pale green eyes were unblinking as she watched Aeris closely, their gaze nearly hypnotizing and disturbing at the same time._

_Aeris swallowed nervously, unable to find her voice. She suddenly realized that she had never spoken within the Lifestream before, unsure if she was even able to do so. She stood frozen in place under the figure's powerful gaze, all thoughts of peaceful exploration long gone from her mind. _

"_There will soon be a healing… a cleansing," the woman continued, a soft smile spreading across her face. "We must rid ourselves of the dangers that remain."_

_Aeris eyes grew wide as she suddenly realized that the being before her was speaking for the Planet, her heart racing in her chest as her stomach twisted into knots. The Planet had spoken to her many times before, but never quite like this… and it had been so long that it was the last thing she'd expected. With her gown flowing around her, the woman slowly approached Aeris as if able to reach her mind, pausing to allow her a moment to compose herself. When she met Aeris' eyes again, her smile had been replaced by a look of regret._

"_There will be a great loss… a sacrifice… but it is necessary for the good of all," she said, her voice quiet yet firm, sending a chill down Aeris' spine. In that moment, she felt as if an icy hand had reached out and taken hold of her heart, and a powerful sense of foreboding washed over her so forcefully that she barely noticed when the figure simply turned her back and disappeared into the trees. Aeris remained frozen where she stood, unable to move as the Planet's final words repeated over and over again in her mind._

"Aeris?"

The familiar deep voice and the warm brush of his mind reached through the deep meditative state and gently eased her back toward consciousness. Aeris slowly opened her eyes, feeling as if she had been asleep for a very long time and unsure of where she was at first. She blinked, momentarily confused, until she was able to focus on the man who had dropped to one knee in front of her on the living room floor.

Sephiroth was staring at her intently, his head tilted slightly and his eyes filled with grave concern. She realized that one of his hands was resting against her cheek, warm and ungloved, while his other gently gripped her opposite shoulder. As the haze of meditation slowly began to fade she managed a slow smile as her eyes locked with his, but when she tried to speak she found she couldn't form the words. She tried to rise from her position and lift her arms to embrace him, but her body swayed wildly and wouldn't obey her wishes, a wave of dizziness washing over her as the room began to spin. Aeris gasped as she began to fall sideways, but two strong arms were instantly wrapped around her before she made it very far.

"Aeris! What is wrong?!" Sephiroth exclaimed as he brought her in against his body. He dropped to both knees on the floor, cradling her in his arms and looking down at her with alarm. "Are you all right? You… you are frightening me…"

Though his hold on her was firm and supportive, she could feel his body trembling every so slightly. His breathing had begun to speed up, and the panic she felt building inside his mind reached her as clearly as if it was her own despite the fog that clung to her thoughts. Aeris looked back at him helplessly, her body weak and still partially disconnected from her mind. She closed her eyes, the temptation to simply fall asleep in his arms nearly overwhelming. But the fear and anxiety radiating from her husband only continued to grow when she failed to respond, and she knew she had to do something quickly to reassure him. Concentrating hard, Aeris forced her eyes open and looked up at Sephiroth, finally able to really focus on him. As she gazed up into his eyes and managed to shakily reach up and touch his face, her mind began to clear as their emotions gently ran together. It was familiar and comforting despite the troubled thoughts that so often plagued him, and she took a moment longer to let the feeling wash over her as her mind continued to recover. She felt so safe and warm in his embrace that it helped to eased her the rest of the way back to reality, though she remained shaken and a bit disoriented by what she had just experienced.

"I'm sorry," she finally managed to whisper, snuggling in against him and stifling a yawn. "I was meditating, and all of a sudden the Planet spoke to me. It's been such a long time, and I guess I just got overwhelmed…"

Sephiroth frowned, effortlessly climbing to his feet with Aeris still cradled in his arms. She'd been meditating in the middle of the living room floor, and he crossed the room to sit on the couch. Aeris was relieved that he kept her right where she was, feeling almost desperate to be held and reassured that everything was all right. She needed him, and he seemed to feel it through the link they shared… though he had grown quite perceptive and sensitive to her needs all on his own. Sephiroth was not often the one to initiate close physical contact, but he was holding her so tightly in his lap that Aeris knew he was as unsettled as she felt."I came in from my meeting, and even though Blade made his usual fuss and I announced myself to you several times, you did not even flinch," Sephiroth said quietly, softly stroking her hair as he spoke. "I thought that was odd, but left you be for the moment… but when ten minutes passed and you still did not move, I became very concerned. That is when I tried to reach you more directly."

Aeris nodded weakly, realizing how unusual that was. Normally, even if she was deep in meditation, Sephiroth's arrival home would have started to awaken her because of their deep mental bond. Their minds were able to reach out to each other any time they were close by, sharing emotions and sometimes even pieces of thoughts and memories, and his sudden presence would surely have interrupted her session. And if _that_ had not done it, his pet Great Dane pacing about excitedly while whining and wagging his enormous tail while she was in the center of the room would have! No wonder Sephiroth was so concerned… He looked nearly sick with worry, and she could feel it radiating so strongly from him that she was having a hard time separating it from her own emotions.

"I'm really sorry, love," Aeris repeated, her mind still swimming as she worked to order her thoughts so she could better explain what had happened. Or should she…? A chill ran down her spine as the feeling of foreboding returned, and she wondered again what the Planet had meant. _A sacrifice_… Would she be called on to help prevent yet another disaster? At what cost…? The message had sounded so positive at first, and then…

"This was_ not _a normal meditation," Sephiroth stated, his words not a question. He gently lifted Aeris' chin until she met his eyes, and when she did she was momentarily drawn into them and unable to respond. The connection and love between them was so strong, almost as if they were symbiotic, that at times it was nearly overwhelming. Aeris still did not know it if was because she was a Cetra, or because of Sephiroth's abilities… or perhaps the unique combination of the two. But the effect was incredible, and she paused to catch her breath before attempting to answer.

"It was… very intimate," she began, unsure of how to communicate what she experienced to a non-Ancient. Sephiroth, at least, had meditated with her many times, during which their minds often linked intensely and many deeply emotional and personal things passed between them, so he had _some_ idea, but… "Like I said, ever since we stopped Meteor, the Planet has been quiet, like it was finally at peace. But all of a sudden, while I was meditating, a figure appeared to me, and when… she spoke I knew it was the voice of the Planet."

"What… did she say?" Sephiroth asked, a bit more relaxed but still giving off enough anxiety that it was difficult for Aeris to relax despite her secure position in his strong arms. There was always some level of tension surrounding him that she had long grown accustomed to, but sometimes it grew so intense that Aeris almost wished she didn't have to share it. But she would not have given up the connection between them for anything, and she loved him enough to endure absolutely anything. He still struggled, but he had come so far… and she would never let him forget that.

"She said… that the Planet is growing stronger, and that there will be a healing… a cleansing… soon," Aeris told him, unable to help but smile as she remember the positive part of the message she'd received. Sephiroth raised an eyebrow, and she could feel that he was a bit relieved as he nodded.

"That is good then… right?" he asked, as if he desperately needed her reassurance that all was well.

Staring up into his hauntingly beautiful Mako eyes and feeling how worried he still was, seeing how he was looking to her to tell him everything was all right, Aeris did not have the heart to tell him the rest of the Planet's message. She swallowed hard and smiled up at him, pushing her fears to the far corner of her mind. She couldn't bring herself to worry him when she didn't truly know what the Planet had meant by its warning. She knew he would take any possibility that she might be in danger very hard, and there was little he could do about it anyway but drive himself mad with worry. He had been doing so well, and she did not want to do anything to interrupt his progress… Especially not now, when he was about to lead his very first military mission with Cloud's blessing. Upsetting him just before he was due to leave could have disastrous consequences, and Sephiroth had worked too hard to lose his opportunity to show everyone that he deserved to be trusted. For now, Aeris would keep it to herself, biting down on the dark feeling that lingered and instead focusing on the positive message and the love of the man who held her.

"Yeah, it's very good," she told him, resting one hand over his heart and leaning her head against his chest. "It was just so sudden and intense… I didn't mean to worry you, but everything is okay."

"I am just relieved that you are all right," Sephiroth said, and though she could feel that he was beginning to relax, a tension remained just below the surface. Whether he was still in the process of calming down, or didn't quite believe her, Aeris could not be sure.

"I'm just a little tired, but I'm fine now," Aeris told him, melting against him and finally able to fully enjoy being held in his lap. She could have easily fallen asleep, so warm and secure with his strong arms around her and resting against his body. She could sense that he was still uneasy, however, running her hand from his chest to the side of his neck in an attempt to comfort him. "Really, Seph… Please stop worrying."

Sephiroth frowned, and for a moment he appeared about to say something, but instead sighed quietly as he met her eyes. But he quickly looked away, and Aeris knew immediately that he needed to speak but felt unable to. She had always read people extremely well, and by now she was a virtual expert when it came to Sephiroth's expressions and mannerisms. Many were quite subtle, but to Aeris he was an open book.

"Go ahead," she encouraged him, her voice gentle. Sephiroth frowned again, appearing briefly annoyed that she saw through him so easily, but finally turned and looked down at her again.

"If anything happened to you… I…"

_Gods, did he pick up on that after all…?_

"Seph… I'm fine!" Aeris insisted with a nervous laugh, hoping he was only referring to the condition he'd found her in and nothing more. "You know how a deep meditation session can affect you, right? You almost always fall asleep afterwards, and stay that way for quite a while."

He nodded, his cheeks flushing crimson. It was true, after all. When they meditated together, Aeris had learned it was best to do so seated or kneeling on their bed, because Sephiroth seemed to enter a kind of trance from which he had a difficult time emerging, and afterwards he was so groggy he fell asleep almost immediately and slept peacefully for hours. Sometimes it was the only way he could get any rest, and he never had nightmares after their sessions. It was something that had strengthened the bond between them tremendously, and it helped to calm Sephiroth when he was struggling with flashbacks, panic attacks, and insomnia. He'd been reluctant to even try it at first, but by now he came to Aeris asking her to meditate with him any time he was feeling out of control. It was a powerful coping mechanism that had aided them a great deal as his mind continued to heal.

"Very well…" he said reluctantly, tenderly caressing her cheek and studying her closely, unconvinced but willing to give in for the moment. "I only worry so much because I love you…"

"I know… and I do the same for you. It's good to know there's always someone who cares so much and looks out for you."

Sephiroth nodded, a distant look in his eyes. Aeris realized it might not have been the wisest thing to say given his past, but she also wanted him to realize that things were different for him now. She snaked her hand around to the back of his neck and eased him down into a soft kiss, holding onto him for long moments after they'd parted and gazing into his eyes. The intense emotions that flooded the link between them were far different now, full of love and tenderness, and a slow burning passion Aeris could feel him trying hard to resist. She pulled him down into a passionate kiss, pleased when he finally began to return it with enthusiasm and held her just a bit closer.

"Aeris… you should rest," he protested a bit breathlessly as he pulled away from her, the reason for his resistance finally clear. "I should really put you to bed."

"Yes… yes you should," she giggled mischievously, her eyes shining. Sephiroth stared at her blankly for a moment, then smirked crookedly and rolled his eyes as he finally understood the meaning behind her words.

"You are truly something else," he muttered as he stood with Aeris in his arms, pausing to lean over and kiss her deeply before carrying her toward their bedroom. Blade rose from his bed beside the couch and followed after, his master's constant shadow. Aeris could feel that Sephiroth had finally dropped his guard, giving in to the love and desire she was offering and the security he knew could be found in her arms. At least for now, the haunting sense of foreboding she'd felt was many miles away.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

"All rise!"

A thick door to the left of the crowded courtroom opened, and a judge dressed in heavy black robes entered. His head was completely covered by a black hood, his face entirely shrouded by the shadows beneath. He was an enormous figure, moving slowly and with purpose until he reached the stairs and ascended to the bench. Even when he gazed down at the participants and spectators from his position of power, nothing could be seen of his face but a gaping blackness. He nodded silently to the bailiff and took his seat.

"This court is now in session!"

Vincent heard the mass of spectators behind him settle into their seats, but he remained standing behind a tall wooden podium, gripping its sides so hard the knuckles of both hands had long ago turned white. He was dressed in his Turks' uniform but rendered unarmed, alone on his side a wide aisle that was patrolled by a burly security guard. He glanced across the aisle and bristled with hatred as his eyes fell upon Professor Hojo, standing behind his own podium in his white lab coat. He looked relaxed and confident while Vincent was sick to his stomach with fear and worry. There was a well dressed female lawyer by Hojo's side at a smaller station of her own, organizing a tall stack of files spread out before her. Vincent briefly wondered why he did not have any paperwork or a lawyer of his own, and why Hojo's looked so familiar.

"Bring in the jury," the judge said in a deep, gravelly voice that was nearly a growl. It sent shivers down Vincent's spine and he swallowed nervously, filled with an immediate fear he could not name. It was familiar and terrifying, nearly crippling, and he found himself unable to look up at the judge again.

A door on the opposite side of the courtroom creaked open, and Vincent swore his heart nearly stopped. Lucrecia… the love of his life. His soul mate. His reason for living. She was as beautiful as ever despite the fact that she was heavily pregnant, looking about nervously as she made her way to the jury box. There were no other jurors with her, and she made the long walk alone as all eyes followed her on her lonely march. Vincent briefly caught her eye, but she looked away before he could get any idea of what she might be thinking. She quickly took her seat and folded her hands tightly in her lap, keeping her head down to avoid looking at anyone. Vincent forced himself not to stare, wanting nothing more than to go to her and comfort her. But when he looked down again, his eyes settled on the heavy metal restraint around his ankle that attached him firmly to a bolt in the floor. He had never felt so helpless in his life.

"In this case, the jury must decide if she wishes to remain with Professor Hojo, or start her life over with Vincent Valentine," the bailiff solemnly informed the judge, reading from a form in his hand. "Professor Hojo is represented by Elmyra Gainsborough, while Vincent Valentine was found unworthy of counsel."

"Wait a minute!" Vincent began to protest, shocked from his sorrow and more than a little outraged as he head snapped up. "How is that-"

"SILENCE!" roared the judge, sending a fresh rush of terror through him that was so strong he began to tremble. "Neither plaintiff may speak without my permission, is that understood?!"

Vincent nodded weakly, his original protest nearly forgotten as he again lowered his eyes.

"Mrs. Gainsborough, are you prepared to begin presenting your case?" the judge asked, his voice having returned to its disturbingly low and nearly feral tone.

"Yes, your honor!" she said cheerfully, shuffling her papers a final time before turning to face the jury box and smiling widely at Lucrecia. "Good morning, Lucrecia. How are you feeling?" she asked. Vincent shuddered at how obviously fake she was, hoping his lover could see right through her. Lucrecia smiled weakly and nodded, answering with the typical "fine" even though she clearly was anything but.

"Your husband loves you very much, so he's asked me to help him explain some of the many reasons why it's so much better for you… and the baby… if you remain right where you are and give up that Turk once and for all," Elmyra said, placing a supportive hand on Hojo's shoulder as she spoke. Hojo obediently wore a sorrowful expression, and Vincent ground his teeth, wishing he could slap that look right off his face. The professor certainly liked to slap his wife around, after all. "I am sure that once you hear our arguments, no one in this courtroom could possibly think that leaving this wonderful man for that… that _creature _over there could possibly be a good idea!"

There was a chorus of whispers from the spectators and the scratch of pens meeting notebook paper as reporters took down Elmyra's words. Vincent stood numbly in place, disoriented and frozen. He was chained to the floor, unable to speak, and given no one to speak for him. The judge left him terrified for reasons he did not understand, and he was helpless to go to his lover's aid. Yet all the while in the back of his mind he remained aware of the fact that it was very likely he who was in need of help…

"Let's do this the easiest and simplest way possible, so we can end this matter once and for all and get on with our lives, shall we?" Elmyra said, as if she could reduce Vincent's world and all he held dear to a mere inconvenience, to be dealt with as casually as one handled a traffic citation. "And that would be by a matter of direct comparison of my client and this filthy interloper!"

Vincent finally turned his head to glance across the isle, watching as Elmyra paced back and forth before the judge and Lucrecia as she spoke. Hojo watched with a pleased smirk, as relaxed as if he already knew he had won. Vincent tried not to look at him, the sight of the vile little man filling him with a toxic mixture of anger and revulsion. Comparison? _Really? _He almost wanted to laugh. After everything Lucrecia had told him about her husband, Vincent had no idea how that could possibly be a positive angle for his case.

_Unless, of course, he lies…_

"My client is in line to become the head of the entire Shin-ra Science Department, which is a highly prized position held in very high esteem across the entire Planet," Elmyra began, injecting a ridiculous amount of awe into her voice. There were appreciative murmurs throughout the crowd, and even the bailiff nodded appreciatively. "That job brings in a very large salary with fabulous benefits and the nicest living arrangements aside from the President's, as well as guaranteed promotions and other perks for his wife who just so happens to work in the same department. It seems awfully foolish to throw that aside, especially with a new baby to consider, and for what? An ordinary _Turk_. One who is not in line for any kind of promotion, earns a rather bland salary, lives in a small, ordinary apartment, and is constantly at risk for being killed in the line of duty. What then? Surely you have to consider who can provide for you better, madam of the jury! Think of the _baby_. You don't want the little one to grow up poor like you did… or gods forbid, in a _single parent home_!"

As members of the audience gasped in horror, Vincent wondered why _they_ could speak and react, yet he could not. But his attention was drawn more to the alarmed, worried expression on Lucrecia's face as she took in the information. Gods, was she really going to buy into this nonsense? Of _course_ he could take care of her! They had already talked about it all before… While not wealthy, Vincent had been careful with his income and saved a good bit of it. He could take care of her and the baby easily, and would be able to find work doing anything he had to once they left Midgar and settled somewhere safe. He had done many different things to survive in the past and he'd do it again, especially for her and the child he had promised to raise as his own and already cared for a great deal. Who cared about degrees and titles and fancy apartments? It was Vincent who really loved she and her unborn child. To Hojo, she was just a means to and end, the baby nothing more than an experiment and his ticket to fame…

Biting back a rising fury and fear that he was about to lose everything, Vincent shakily raised his hand and forced himself to face the judge. When he turned his empty black face down toward him, Vincent shivered but forced himself to stand tall.

"What do you want?" the judge demanded, growling deep in his chest.

"Do I get to answer her remarks?" Vincent asked, concentrating all of his energy on keeping his voice from trembling. "I would like to say something, because much of what she has said about me is simply not true! And Lucrecia knows that!"

"NO! Only counsel may refute or offer evidence. Do not interrupt this court again, or you will lose by default and be subject to penalty!"

What kind of court _was_ this? How was this fair? Vincent could not remember anything before the trial had begun, his mind spinning with sudden panic. Why was he chained to the floor with no representation, while Hojo was clearly not and had his own lawyer? He wanted badly to defy the judge and shout out that this was wrong, that nothing made sense and that this was not just, but he was so afraid of him and so confused that he could not find his voice. The only thing that kept him from falling apart completely was the sight of his lover, so sad and alone, sitting in the center of the jury box and wringing her hands in her lap.

"If I may continue…" Elmyra said indignantly, causing Hojo to snicker beside her. Somehow he had moved into a comfortable recliner, his feet propped up on a footstool, his podium gone from sight. "My next piece of evidence is to compare the pedigrees of these two men, though I hesitate to flatter Valentine with the use of that word."

Vincent's mouth dropped open, but this time he knew better than to protest. He tried not to hear the laughter of the audience behind him as the judge banged his gavel several times to restore order.

"Professor Hojo comes from a long line of highly educated and wealthy men," Elmyra said, seemingly unaware of how she was shunning her own gender with the remark. "His parents were given the opportunity to escape their very backward homeland of Wutai to come here to Midgar where they would have much better opportunities, and they have taken full advantage of them. Hojo has managed to rid himself of his accent and any other lingering influences of his early youth spent in that misguided place, and despite where he was born he's educated himself and become the intellectual superior of nearly everyone! And then… we have Vincent Valentine."

Vincent already felt sick to his stomach as Elmyra slowly walked toward him and stopped just in front of where he stood, the false smile she wore and the sparkle of enjoyment in her eyes clearly mocking him as she shook her head. "Also born in Wutai, his mother was a mere teenager when she learned she was pregnant… out of wedlock and unplanned of course. Yes, that makes him a _bastard_, with no pedigree or ancestry he can trace. In fact, he doesn't even know who his father _is_, do you, Mister Valentine?"

_What is the point of humiliating me in front of all these people? Lucrecia already knows this, and she does not care…_

"Answer the question," demanded the judge.

Vincent hung his head, his dark bangs trailing in front of his eyes as the shame washed over him. He could feel the eyes of the crowd behind him burning into his back. "No, I do not." There were gasps and snickers, but he barely heard them as his face grew hot. All throughout his childhood, his mother and step-father had never let him forget what he was, and it all came rushing back in a painful barrage of memories.

"And would you just _listen_ to that accent!" Elmyra exclaimed, shaking her head. " I don't know about all of you, but I barely understood him! Any child raised around him would be teased mercilessly and struggle all through school."

Vincent finally raised his head and blinked in confusion. He was aware that he did indeed have a Wutaiin accent, which was understandable since he had spoken nothing but until his mid teens. But by now his Universal was nearly flawless and his vocabulary vast, and he had been told by many people that his accent was mild. The one who knew his voice best was Lucrecia, and he trusted her opinion the most. She told him that he did indeed retain a bit of an accent, but that it never made him difficult to understand. She also said she found it extremely attractive, and often asked him questions about his culture and homeland because her husband so openly shunned his… Wasn't her opinion what mattered most at this trial? And what did a bit of an accent have to do with whether or not Lucrecia ought to stay with her abusive, uncaring husband or run away with the man who adored her and wanted to spend the rest of his life taking care of her?

Her point apparently made, Elmyra happily made her way back to her station, sorting through her files until she found the next one she wished to consult.

"I am also concerned about what kind of man fools around with the wife of someone else while they are working hard or away on business," Elmyra continued, and it was only Vincent's crippling fear of the judge combined with his growing confusion that kept him from laughing aloud. Was she really going to try to argue that _Hojo _was cut from a superior moral fabric than he was? "Professor Hojo is a busy man trying to provide for his wife and give his unborn child the best of all opportunities, and this individual is sneaking around waiting for his next chance to get his rocks off and use the poor man's wife for a good time! Even while she's with child for goodness sake!"

Vincent nearly howled with outrage, her words so far from the truth that his inability to defend himself made him feel as if he would explode from the pressure building in his head. How could he stand there silent and just take it? Not only was it insulting and degrading to him, but it was also an affront to the honor of the woman he loved! His relationship with Lucrecia had _never_ been about just having a good time or simply physical pleasure, and it had started many months before she was pregnant. He would never have used anyone that way, most especially her. He had already loved her before he'd ever laid a hand on her, and she had been the one who moved things forward physically and gave him a much needed dose of courage when they'd finally admitted how they felt for one another. Yes, sex was a part of their relationship, but only because they were in love, and it was far from the _only_ part or something that was one sided, either. How _dare_ this woman stand there and pervert something so beautiful and private in front of so many people… Vincent ground his teeth, his chest tightening as he struggled to draw each new breath.

"Valentine is an animal who corrupted Lucrecia. Because she is a very emotional woman that was lonely while the husband who loves and spoils her was away… she fell prey to his false charms and pressure to give in. I'm sure many of you can understand that," Elmyra went on, and there were many nods in the crowd. "But does using her for sex give him some kind of claim to another man's wife just because he's gotten away with it for so long? Of course not! It just shows what kind of immoral trash he is. He'd probably end up cheating on her, smacking her around, and doing gods knows _what_ else before long!"

Vincent felt tears burn his eyes as the very things Lucrecia had told him Hojo did on a regular basis were leveled against him in open court, gazing across the room toward the jury box in desperation. This had to stop. He had never done _any_ of those things, and he never would. She knew that, and though he could not speak he had to be sure she remembered everything they'd shared and the things he had promised her. He was relieved when she looked up from her lap and met his eyes across the room, feeling some of the tension in his body begin to relax. He almost began to smile, his love for her so strong that a warmth washed over him despite the horrific circumstances. All he wanted was to take her from the room and away from Midgar, where he could protect her and keep her safe.

When he saw the look in her eyes, however, he felt so ill he nearly doubled over and vomited. Her beautiful green eyes were cold and vacant, and she quickly turned away as if his gaze was toxic. Vincent felt his heart shatter in his chest, and his legs trembled so badly he had to grip the podium to keep from collapsing. Elmyra was still speaking and slandering his character with enthusiasm to a captivated audience, but Vincent no longer heard the words. Lucrecia had believed her. Somehow, she had been convinced by the all the lies. He had seen it in her eyes… His life was over.

"That's all I have, Your Honor," Elmyra said an unknown time later. Vincent looked up weakly, and the room seemed to spin as he tried to focus his eyes, still clinging to the podium. He was drowning, and there was no one left to save him. His only reason for existing had abandoned him.

"Does the jury need time to deliberate, or have you reached a verdict?" the judge growled, sounding almost pleased as he clasped his hands together. As Vincent fought to remain on his feet and looked upward toward the bench, he noticed that the judge's hands were actually large purplish claws emerging from within the sleeves of his robes.

"I've decided," Lucrecia whispered, wringing her hands and still staring down at them as they rested against her swollen abdomen. Was she unsure of her decision, ashamed of herself, or did she just want this to be over so she could go on with her life?

"Please rise and announce the verdict to the court," the bailiff instructed her. She rose to her feet with visible effort, took a deep breath, and spoke in a voice that was nearly inaudible. But to Vincent, nothing had ever been more deafening.

"I, the jury… have decided to remain with my husband."

The spectators burst into thunderous applause, and though he had expected it, Lucrecia's quiet words hurt far more than any physical pain Vincent could have imagined. He watched through glazed eyes as Hojo stood and shook Elmyra's hand. Two large security officers were instantly on either side of him and grabbed him by his arms as a third released the shackle from his leg. Vincent nearly collapsed, but the men roughly held him up and forced him to watch the scene transpiring across the aisle. Lucrecia slowly stepped out of the jury box and approached her husband, a shy smile on her face and one hand held almost protectively over her stomach. Hojo grinned widely and reached out to embrace her, meeting Vincent's eyes over his wife's shoulder and smirking cruelly. He had won… To him, Lucrecia was a possession, a thing to own, a living incubator for his prized experiment. If he'd ever really loved her, if he'd ever cared for the person she truly was, he didn't any longer… yet he'd never be willing to let her go. Not as long as she lived and breathed.

Vincent felt tears stream down his cheeks as the guards held him firmly in place. The judge rose and stepped out from behind the bench, towering over those standing below. From within the darkness beneath his hood, two red eyes glowed as they studied the victors.

"What would you like done with the losing party?" the judge asked Elmyra, his voice much louder and sounding even more like a growl than before. Vincent found the strength to lift his head for just a moment, the painful grips of the guards digging into his flesh as he tried desperately to get Lucrecia to look at him one last time. Elmyra leaned in close to consult Hojo, nodded with satisfaction, then looked up to the judge with a broad smile.

"My client would like him delivered to his laboratory as soon as possible, to help in a few special experiments," she said cheerfully.

"NO!" Vincent exclaimed as the guards began to drag him away, Hojo's chilling laughter echoing off the courtroom walls as the spectators began to exit. Elmyra gathered her files, winked in his direction, and made her way out of the room as he desperately fought to break free.

The judge shrugged out of his robe in one smooth motion, revealing the demonic form of Chaos. The creature roared and spread its wings, taking to the air and bursting through the ceiling of the courthouse and out into the night sky. A shower of concrete and glass rained down onto the bench, but Vincent barely noticed as he struggled with all he had, wild with panic. The sound of the electric saw and the rush of white hot agony had already begun to assault his mind.

"Lucrecia, help me!" Vincent cried as the guards continued to drag him away, striking him with their nightsticks when he continued to resist. "Please! I love you! You cannot let him do this! He's going to kill you!"

With one last glance in his direction, Lucrecia shook her head, turned her back, and vanished through a side door with Professor Hojo, leaving Vincent to be dragged away toward the laboratory beneath the courthouse.

* * *

((**Author's Notes**: Oh hi. Remember me? So yeah, I've not been active as of late, and I apologize. My health as usual, but also some horrible writer's block that got way out of hand. I got very depressed and down on my work for several reasons. Stats were way down, reviews dropped a ton, and I was struggling to put my ideas into words and concerned about doing my characters justice and writing them as they deserve. I just thought, the hell with it all, and went gaming in Torchlight 2 for a while. I couldn't even stand to look at any of my stuff til this past weekend, but I'm working my way out of it, and after some talk with my beta and forced time in front of an open document, I managed to finally get this chapter written. I hope you all enjoyed it and will let me know. It really _does _make a huge difference to me to hear from my readers, especially when I've been feeling a bit off my game.

- I wonder what that message Aeris got from the Planet could mean… Me, foreshadow my next multi chapter fic? ;) I hope you all are going to follow me to _Internal Warfare _after I'm finished here and begin that one. Vincent is still the main character, but it is much larger scale and includes more characters… Seph and Aeris get more time there, so this scene was a bit of a preview for that. It'll be a much longer fic with a mix of plot and character work, and I'm still in the process of trying to outline something so huge. I know I said over and over that I would _never_ do anything the length and scope of _Irony of Fate _again but um… oops? ;)

- I suppose this is a fairly odd chapter overall, and Vincent's dream is pretty damn bizarre, so I was a little concerned about writing it along with Aeris' meditation scene. But both things HAD to happen at this point in time in the story since it's wrapping up in three more chapters. I have been reading a lot of crime-related memoirs as of late, so the inspiration started with that. I needed something that involved Vincent's hurt over Lucrecia's past rejection he still has not dealt with properly, and wanted to work Elmyra into it, too. Hopefully this came off as strange and creepy, which was the intent. The idea hit me while soaking in our little hot tub… I get lots of ideas in the shower, too. Hey, go ahead and laugh, it works! (The ocean also inspired me over the summer. Yet I can barely swim.) So yeah, Vincent just had a pretty nice chat and… roll in the sheets with Lucrecia, but he's still having nightmares right next to her in bed after fighting off Chaos all evening. Wonder what will happen next? Mwahaha!

- I now have the rest of this fic totally plotted out in my head, so as long as all goes well, finishing it should not be a problem. (I totally shouldn't have said that, haha). Oh, and the poll to name my two new betta fish is now closed. The winning names were Vincent and Tseng (a bit surprised at the second one, but that is awesome!). Thanks to everyone who voted! Also, please don't forget to check out my Facebook page, linked in my profile. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I will do my best to update more often this month. I will try to work on _Closing the Distance _soon as well, for those also reading that story. Thanks! ~ _JenesisX_ ))


	28. Chapter Twenty Seven: Crisis

**Chapter Twenty Seven: Crisis**

Lucrecia was jolted from a sound sleep into the center of a battle in progress. Something hard slammed into her shoulder and she yelped, her eyes flying open. She bolted into a sitting position, more frightened that hurt, unable to see as her eyes fought to adjust to the darkness. Thin beams of moonlight streamed in through the small dusty window, but with her poor eyesight all she could see at first were shadows. There was nothing interfering with her other senses, however, and she quickly realized what was happening.

Vincent was having another nightmare even as he slept at her side. She heard him cry out in agony, the bed shifting violently as he thrashed about. The comforter had been kicked to the foot of the bed, partially tangled around one of his long legs. The sharp metal claws of his left hand were clutching his pillow so hard that they had dug straight through to the other side. When her vision finally cleared a bit and she dared to inch toward him, she saw the beads of sweat running down his face catch the moonlight. His expression was so pinched with pain and tension she knew she had to end his suffering any way she could.

"Vincent!" she called out to him, careful to avoid his flailing limbs as she tried to move closer. From the way he struck out with his right arm and legs, he seemed to be fighting against an unseen force, and the strangled cries that escaped him were filled with such terror they sent shivers down her spine. In waking hours, nothing seemed to frighten him, her protector against the world of new dangers she'd rejoined. "Vincent, wake up!"

He continued to cry out and thrash about in bed, showing no sign that he heard her or was about to regain consciousness. He was not normally very difficult for her to awaken, and while he often had nightmares she'd been there to chase away, she had never witnessed one as violent as this. She was terrified for him, trying not to imagine what horrible memories he might be experiencing and instead focusing on freeing him from the grip of his own private hell.

"Vincent, it's me! You've got to wake up!"

Unconcerned for her own safety, Lucrecia reached out with both hands to take a hold of his right forearm the next time he swung it in her direction. She was barely able to keep her grip as he fought to free himself, but after several moment he suddenly stopped and dropped his arm onto the bed between them. Encouraged that he had recognized her touch, she released him and moved up against his side on her knees, reaching out and tenderly stroking his cheek. His skin was cold despite the fact that he was sweating, and he was breathing as if he'd just run a long distance.

"It's okay, baby, it's just a dream," she soothed him, trying to keep her voice calm despite the fact that she was shaking and could barely hear a thing over the pounding of her heart. Vincent was still moving his legs as if trying to flee, and his expression remained tight with pain. He continued to voice his misery and terror as she ran her hand through his hair, and Lucrecia began to fear that there was nothing she could do to help him break free.

As she gently smoothed his matted bangs away from his forehead, she gasped as Vincent's red eyes suddenly flew open. He bolted into a sitting position as if he hadn't even seen her, staring straight ahead at the far wall.

"He's going to kill you!" he exclaimed, balling both hand and claw into fists at his sides and breathing in fast ragged gasps. The innards of his ruined pillow fell around him as he jerked his claw free, but he seemed completely unaware of his surroundings.

Lucrecia's heart was in her throat and it took her a moment to recover. He had sat up so abruptly, his voice unusually loud and panicked, that she was immediately even more on edge than she had been seconds before. She'd never seen Vincent in such a state before, and it left her completely unsettled and terrified. But it was obvious that something was very wrong, and he needed her to remain calm so that she could help him get through it. She swallowed hard and gathered her courage, reaching out to take a gentle hold of his upper arm.

"Shhh, it's okay," she told him softly, running one hand up and down his arm as she rested her head against his shoulder. "You were having a nightmare, but you're awake now. Everything's all right."

She glanced up and found that Vincent continued to stare straight forward, his eyes open but unseeing, glowing faintly in the darkness. His breathing remained labored and ragged, as if he was struggling to draw air into his lungs. For a man who usually took each new breath slowly and with such long pauses between them that she often feared he was going to stop all together, it was alarmingly out of place. The sweat continued to pour from his brow and down his bare back, yet his skin remained cold to the touch. Lucrecia had never seen him sweat that way before, especially since he had been altered and his body temperature remained well below the norm. As she leaned against him and ran her hand along his skin, she could feel that he was trembling, and instead of getting better now that he was awake, it was steadily growing worse. Lucrecia's stomach began to twist itself in knots, a feeling of unexplainable dread washing over her.

Vincent remained frozen in place a moment longer, until his head suddenly jerked up as if he'd been struck. She watched as he quickly looked around the room as if seeing it for the first time, and when his crimson eyes briefly met hers they grew wide with unmistakable panic. He roughly shrugged away from her touch and turned his back, and Lucrecia thought she heard him try to hold back a pained sound as he swung his legs over the edge of the mattress. He leaned forward with his elbows resting on his knees, breathing even heavier than before with his hair completely hiding his face from view.

"Vincent… what's wrong?" she asked him, her voice trembling as badly as his body. Even though it was dark and she still hadn't had a moment to reach for her glasses, she could see the tremors running through his lean body. "Baby, it was a nightmare. Come and lay down back down with me, okay?" She was nearly pleading with him, but in the back of her mind she already knew it wasn't going to be that simple this time.

"No…"

Vincent's voice sounded strange, gruff and somehow even deeper than usual. The nightmare had been a horrific one judging by his reaction, however, and Lucrecia knew he must be feeling confused and extremely upset. Still on her knees in the center of the bed, she came up behind him and placed one hand on either of his tense shoulders, gently massaging them for a few minutes before slowly running her hands down his bare back. She hadn't gotten very far before she realized it was far more than the nightmare that was affecting him so deeply.

_Oh gods…_

Her small hands stopped over his shoulder blades when they came in contact with two hard, sharp bulges that were very out of place on her lover's familiar back, one she had caressed and held on to more times than she could ever hope to count. She tried and failed to stifle the gasp the escaped her lips as her hands froze in place, though she managed not to withdraw her touch. Slowly, she gently ran the tips of her fingers across what she realized were the beginnings of Chaos' enormous leathery wings forming beneath his skin. Gods, did they really burst forth from his body that way? The pain must have been unbearable, and she couldn't bring herself to begin to think about the rest of the changes he went through when he transformed. She swallowed hard to contain her sorrow as she softly began to massage the area around the twin bumps, hoping she might be able to ease his suffering in some small way.

"Don't touch me."

Vincent's tone was so sharp and scolding that Lucrecia instantly withdrew her hands, left staring at his back and the intrusive bulges. He never moved from his position, his breathing even more strained than before and the sweat continuing to run down his pale skin. Tears burned her eyes as she watched him, feeling hurt and helpless. It was clear to her that the nightmare had so upset him that he was struggling to keep control of Chaos, and as usual he was attempting to push her away so she wouldn't witness it. She frowned, frustrated and desperate not to let him go through it alone yet again. They had just had such an amazing night, and he had talked to her… _really_ talked. That he had still had such a violent nightmare right afterwards, when they had fallen asleep so content after making love and spending even more time talking wrapped in each other's arms, left her confused and frightened. But what mattered now was staying by his side whether he wanted her there or not.

Vincent's entire body suddenly went rigid, and he moaned as an intense wave of pain seemed to wash over him. He shuddered violently and seemed unable to move or react for long moments, and Lucrecia heard a low growl emerge when he finally lifted his head. His eyes were focused on the door and he was quickly on his feet, swaying unsteadily as he grabbed his pants from the arm chair in the corner and managed to tug them on over his boxers. Lucrecia scrambled out of bed after him, the concrete floor of the basement cold on her bare feet. She pulled her nightgown closer around her body and finally retrieved her glasses from the nightstand. Vincent doubled over and held his stomach as if being assaulted by an invisible force, his hair falling into his face as he managed to bite back a cry of agony.

"Oh gods! Are you okay?!"

Lucrecia was instantly at his side, shifting in close to allow him to lean on her. He tried to push her away but she stood her ground, taking a firm hold of both of his arms as she stood before him. When he finally straightened and caught his breath, she looked up into his eyes got her first clear look at him. It was then that she finally appreciated just how dire the situation truly was.

With the aid of her glasses, Lucrecia studied her lover and realized that he was locked into a very serious battle with his inner demon, one that had likely begun before he was even awake. His skin had grown a distinct purple-gray, and his eyes were a deeper red and had begun to shine far brighter than the usual soft glow she'd grown used to. She recognized those eyes, ones that had once studied her so closely and tried to decide whether or not she was prey. His expression was harsh, whether from pain or the thoughts that Chaos forced into his mind she did not know. New beads of sweat formed on his face as quickly as they ran down his neck and chest, tracing the lines of the many scars that marred his flesh. Quiet moans of pain escaped him as he stood immobile, his eyes locked with hers. The emotions she saw in them were raw and powerful, nearly a physical presence between them. The shame, the regret… '_I tried to warn you_,' he seemed to be saying. '_This is what I am_.' He was waiting for rejection, she realized, finally trapped and unable to hide what was happening to him fast enough to vanish into the night. Lucrecia reached up and gently caressed his cheek, running her hand back through his hair and hoping he would not noticed the way it trembled every so slightly. When her fingers brushed past his ear, she found that it ended in a sharp point.

"Oh, baby… Come here."

She held her arms open and stepped forward to embrace him, tears trailing down her cheeks. Vincent's eyes widened and he stared at her as if she had lost her mind, visibly fighting to contain Chaos and glancing nervously at the door every few seconds. Part of her knew she ought to be frightened, but somehow she wasn't. She was nervous, and extremely worried about Vincent, but all of that was buried beneath her love for him. She felt an overwhelming need to care for him, to show him that she accepted him and would always be there no matter what happened. After everything they had been through, and all of the mistakes she had made in the past, she more than owed it to him. And she loved him so deeply that no demon was going to scare her away.

"No! Get away from me!"

Vincent forcefully shoved her away and she stumbled backwards, nearly losing her footing. By the time she banged into the dresser and grabbed a hold of it to keep from falling, he had made it through the door and into the main room of the basement. Lucrecia was stunned but not hurt aside from a slight throbbing in her upper arm, a few more tears escaping her eyes. He had _never _done anything like that before, always treating her gently and with such reverence it was often embarrassing. She immediately realized that he thought he was protecting her, and her eyes widened in panic. He was going to try to get as far away from her as possible, and that was the last thing she wanted him to do. Vincent had already spent far too much time alone with his pain, and she didn't want to stand by and let it happen again. Why did the past and the demon always have to win? Maybe once, just this once, she could help him emerge victorious. The gods knew he deserved it.

She ran from the bedroom and found that Vincent had dropped to one knee in the middle of the room, gasping for air with his arms wrapped around himself. Despite what had just happened, she went to his side and moved around to kneel in front of him, placing one hand on either side of his face and lifting his head so he was forced to meet her eyes.

His eyes were glazed over and his mouth was open as he struggled to breath past the pain of Chaos' attempts to steal away his body, but the love he had for her was still visible. Lucrecia managed a soft smile, leaning in to gently touch her lips to his. She let her forehead rest against his, hoping the contact would remind him of what they had and the night they had just shared, and show him that she was not afraid, revolted, or about to leave him. He would have to do a lot more than raise his voice a bit and shove her. Lucrecia had been through far worse, and she had promised herself she was never going to be a coward who was too afraid to do the right thing ever again… most especially when it came to him.

"Vincent… it's okay. I just want to help you, baby."

He seemed to accept the comfort, briefly lifting his right hand to rest on her shoulder. He heaved a weary sigh, his arm trembling as it rested heavily against her. But then he quickly removed it, his next moan of pain mixed with a growl that filled her mind with images of the demon who had once come as close to her as her lover now was.

"It's too late," he whispered, struggling to his feet and quickly putting distance between them. "I can't… contain it. Please. You must let me go!"

Lucrecia stood and followed after him, unconvinced and determined not to let him leave. She had never seen him this far into a transformation before and had no idea how close he was to changing completely, but while he looked alarmingly different and was clearly suffering, he was still himself and communicating with her. It couldn't possibly be too late already! Maybe he was overreacting in an effort to protect her, or to keep her from seeing him going through further stages. All she knew was that after everything they had talked about and shared that evening, she was tired of letting him run and suffer alone. And if Chaos managed to emerge, well… he hadn't hurt he last time. Maybe he would remember…? Regardless of what happened, at least she would have kept her promise and remained by Vincent's side.

Fear for her own safety barely registered as she shadowed him across the darkened basement, unable to think of anything but staying by his side. She wished he could feel how completely devoted she was as she watched him limp across the room, his body heaving with each painful breath, wanting nothing more than to hold him and take back everything that had happened to him simply because he loved her when she hadn't deserved it.

"Vincent, please. Don't do this. Don't run off again! Let me try to help you. We can fight him together!"

Vincent turned and studied her with his head cocked to one side, the weariness in his eyes mixed with an unfamiliar predatory desire that sent a shiver down her spine. "No… you've already seen too much…" He dropped back to one knee and cried out as he doubled over, and when Lucrecia went to aid him he held her at arm's length with his claw.

"I don't _care_ what I see!" she shouted at him, tears of frustration streaming down her face. To see him hurting that way and being unable to do anything to help him wounded her to her soul. "Have you listened to a thing I said to you since I've been back, Vincent?! Dammit, I _love_ you, and I just want to be here for you!"

Vincent lifted his head and gave her a long, searching look. As she met his eyes, there was no hint of the demon, only the love he felt for her and an intense sorrow and regret. He stumbled to his feet and she stayed by his side, their eyes still locked. She was stunned when he reached out and slipped his right hand along the side of his face, his palm rough and his fingers sharp with the beginning of claws. She held her breath for a moment and remained completely still as he leaned forward, so close that their noses touched. And then he kissed her, soft and tender, almost apologetic, before he quickly pulled away and turned back towards the door.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

It had been one of the worst nightmares he'd ever had, but the one he'd woken into was even worse. Ever since they'd been reunited, Vincent had dreaded the day he'd finally be unable to hide it… that he'd awaken too late or that Lucrecia would catch him sneaking out in the midst of a transformation, and it had finally happened. It was likely inevitable, but that didn't make it any less horrific.

Most people would have been so focused on the crippling agony caused by an enormous demon attempting to rip free from inside their body that the idea of someone, even the one they loved most, witnessing the process would hardly have registered. Yet for Vincent the fact that Lucrecia was there to see him for exactly the vile monstrosity he was hurt far worse than any of the physical changes forcing him to double over and grip his stomach as if he was slowly being gutted alive. He had developed a certain tolerance for the ordeal by now, but there was only so much pain one could take. He tried not to moan or cry out for her sake, ashamed of each small sound that escaped his lips as he fought to make his way across the small apartment and out into the night.

It was taking far too long. He had been locked deep inside the nightmare, and it had taken Lucrecia's intervention to free him. That had given Chaos a head start in taking over his body and removed any chance he had to try to remove himself from the room, let alone their home, before his lover could witness what was happening to him. He'd remained confused and groggy for precious minutes, giving the demon a further advantage and also allowing Lucrecia to get a good look at him and figure out what was happening. Once she knew, she was intent on helping him, and her presence caused him severe distress. He was ashamed, terrified she would get hurt, and convinced the end of their relationship was near, all while still battling images from his nightmare. His emotional state continued to aid Chaos in his fight to break free, and before Vincent knew it, he was certain the demon was about to win yet again. He needed to get far away as quickly as possible…

But Lucrecia was making it extremely difficult. She didn't want him to leave, even though he knew he looked quite demonic by now, and his condition had to be terrifying to witness. He had made it clear to her that he was not going to be able to control himself much longer, or so he thought. He'd tried to keep her back. He vaguely recalled physically shoving her away from him, something he knew he'd never forgive himself for no matter what the reason, but she'd still continued trying to comfort him. It only added to his distress as he tried to fight the pain, inadvertently weakening his concentration and empowering the demon. He'd have given anything for her not to be there at that moment…

He'd finally made it nearly to the door after allowing himself to kiss his lover one last time. It like a final goodbye, but it was more than he got last time they parted. Vincent had intended to slip into his cloak and boots since he hadn't had time to locate his shirt in the bedroom, then slip out into the night. But after the next bout of crippling pain briefly darkened his vision and nearly stripped away his consciousness, he knew he couldn't risk taking the time. He released his grip on the wall and stood upright, reluctantly leaving them behind. He hated to go out bare-chested, embarrassed and humiliated by the disfiguring scars Hojo had left behind on his body. It was still hard not to be self conscious even with Lucrecia, regardless of her repeated reassurances. It was dark, and hopefully no one would see him anyway. Now was hardly the time to worry about such things…

Chaos' desires had grown so loud inside his mind that it grew increasingly difficult to think. The demon was excited as he focused on the door, sensing that freedom was close at hand and feeding on Vincent's pain and misery. He fought with everything he had to quiet it, still trying to reverse the transformation with every ounce of strength he had left, but he was certain it was too late and his mind was too hopelessly distracted. All he could hope for was to delay it for just long enough to get outside…

"Vincent…"

He grit his teeth, using every bit of self control not to turn toward Lucrecia's voice. Other than those few moments of weakness, he had been trying to forget she was there… trying not to feel her tearful green eyes burning into him as she followed his every painful movement. He didn't want to look at her and see how much he was hurting her. He didn't want to see how disgusted she must be, how terrified she was of him and how he'd let her down one more time. Gods, she'd gone to bed in his arms and woken up next to a demon. How could he ever expect her to accept that? No one should be expected to try to live with someone so horrific. If she hadn't had nightmares before, she would now. He was supposed to protect her. He was supposed to make her feel safe! He was certain she felt _really_ safe at that moment, looking up at the foul creature with whom she shared a bed.

He ignored her and continued toward the door, the pain in his heart almost enough to drown out the burning ache in his back and the way every inch of skin and muscle felt as if it was on fire and on the verge of tearing apart. He bit his lip, allowing newly cut fangs to tear into flesh as he heard her choke off a sob behind him. There had to be a hell to accommodate beings like himself. He was certain she would be gone by the time he returned, hidden somewhere safe, and then perhaps Sephiroth would come and put him out of his misery. At least he and Lucrecia would carry the shared memory of the good part of that night with them forever…

Chaos was already thinking about how it would feel to soar through the cool moonlit night above the harbor, hunting for vulnerable prey. Vincent cursed the demon's obvious joy and felt the familiar brush of dark pleasure against his thoughts, wishing there something he could do to make the foul creature hurt the way it hurt him and those he cared for. As if in response, another sharp bolt of pain tore through him and his knees nearly buckled, but he quickly caught his balance and forced himself to endure it. He tasted blood in his mouth and narrowed his eyes, his vision slowly gaining a reddish tint.

_Have to get out of here…_

Chaos liked that idea and quieted so Vincent could focus on his movements, and his pain level decreased momentarily. He hardly felt gratitude, however, snarling as he finally made it to the door and reached out to unlock it.

Vincent had been so distracted by the pain, self loathing, and his inner battle that his heightened senses failed him. Lucrecia slipped around in front of him and moved between his body and the door, pressing her back against it and completely blocking his only exit from their basement apartment. He stood stunned, unable to continue ignoring her as he wished, his arm still suspended in mid-reach. He let it drop back to his side as he sighed through his nose, a noise that sounded more like a snort. His eyes dropped to her feet and slowly roamed their way up her body, and he quickly shook his head and frowned when he realized he was not fully in control of his mind and sizing her up as a predator would smaller, weaker prey. He stood only a foot away, towering over her even more than usual, still breathing hard and fighting to clear his head so he could try one more time to reason with her. She was in grave danger, whether she knew it or not, and he needed to do everything he could to protect her… while he still could.

"Please get out of the way," he said, and though he tried to ask politely, his voice came out in a threatening growl. He cleared his throat and tried again, but it did little to change his tone. "I will come back… afterwards."

_What a stupid thing to say… _

She would be _terrified _of that promise, not comforted by it! It was so hard to think, and with his escape blocked Chaos became frustrated and angry, the pain beginning to increase again. Vincent moaned and lifted his clawed hand to his forehead, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment and taking a deep breath. Why did this have to happen… Why, after he had finally decided to talk more openly instead of keeping things carefully tucked away inside. Maybe it had all been a huge mistake... He was no less of a freak, and she still didn't understand that he was dangerous and far too damaged for her to continue putting herself at risk trying to help or somehow rehabilitate. They had been fooling themselves. There was no hope for the damned.

"Why won't you stay and see if we can stop it?" she nearly whispered, making no move to step aside. She looked up and met his eyes, and when he dared allow the contact to linger he was startled to find that she appeared largely unafraid. He knew she was not stupid by any means, but it made no sense for her to be able to stand there so close to him when he looked the way he did and not be utterly terrified. "I don't want you to go, Vincent…"

Didn't want him to go? She was looking into the eyes of a man who was slowly becoming more and more demonic right in front of her, and she _didn't want him to go_? Vincent blinked and shook his head, finding it harder and harder to speak as Chaos continued to fight for control of his body. The demon had no language, and as it gained more of his body and mind it seemed to rob him of his ability to string his own thoughts together into coherent words and sentences. But she didn't know that, looking up at him expectantly and trying so hard to be brave and supportive. How could she? He had never told her.

"… have to," he finally managed, looking around her as if that would somehow enable him to get through the door. "Look at me..."

He made a vague sweeping gesture across his body, closing his eyes in shame so he wouldn't have to endure the look in her eyes when she obeyed his command. His back began to itch as he felt Chaos' wings struggle to tear through the skin that had been stretched thin. He arched his back against the discomfort, causing the bones of his spine to crack loudly and painfully as his entire body structure began to warp and expand. If that stage of the transformation got very far, there would be nothing anyone could do to reverse it. That had happened when he'd been heavily sedated in Hojo's laboratory right there in Junon Harbor during Avalanche's initial travels together. The sedation he'd been given seemed to have stopped it, but all it had really done was pause it for a time, and then slow it down to an ungodly slow and unbearably painful pace until it ran its course anyway. His current situation felt similar in a way, because he was fighting the transformation so hard that the pain seemed to drag on much longer. Vincent _had_ previously been able to stop the process from the point he was at as he stood before his lover, but not when he was under such duress. He had battled the demon so many times as of late that he was simply exhausted, and he no longer believed he had the strength to reverse what it had already taken of his humanity.

"You don't look that bad, baby," Lucrecia said after quickly looking him over, and Vincent would have laughed if it was something he did even during the best of times. How could she _say_ such a thing…? Yet when he dared look up he saw in her eyes that she _meant_ it somehow. He was so confused he forgot about his desperate need to escape and protect her from himself, unable to do anything but stare at her. "You just need to calm down, and everything will be all right."

It sounded so simple, but in a way she was largely correct. There had been plenty of occasions she knew nothing about where he'd begun to struggle with Chaos, often during the night when the demon most wanted to break free to hunt. Or when he'd drifted off beside her and suffered yet another nightmare. Since she was usually asleep, he's simply slip outside onto the roof or up a tree and remain there until he cleared his mind and fought back hard enough to regain control. Then he'd return to bed as if nothing had happened and hold her until she awoke. But how could he possibly calm down after a nightmare like that, and when his lover was watching him advance through a transformation he seemed unable to stop for the first time and refusing to back away or let him leave? He couldn't, his stress and tension mounting by the second, Chaos feeding on it and growing stronger no matter how hard he fought to contain it. He knew he wouldn't be able to hold out for much longer, and the time for asking politely had expired.

"Move away from the door," Vincent demanded, his voice cold and rough. Lucrecia's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. He'd never spoken to her that way before, but it wasn't only he in control of his voice and desperate to get out of the suffocating apartment. "Now!"

Lucrecia's lower lip trembled and her skin grew pale, but to his complete shock she refused to move. Their eyes locked, and he knew he was frowning and glaring down into her face. He tried and failed to soften his expression, horrified to hear a low growl rising up from deep within his chest. He briefly closed his eyes, trembling from head to foot with pain and a rising fear that he was about to do something horrible he would be powerless to stop. Even normally, there was a huge size and strength difference between them, and he did not want to think about what the demon would be capable of. If he ever did anything to hurt Lucrecia, he would kill himself the moment he was back in control.

"I'm not afraid of you, Vincent… and I'm not afraid of Chaos."

The moment Lucrecia spoke the creature's name, Vincent froze, eyes widening as brief flashes of a memory passed through his mind. He saw his lover through the demon's eyes, trapped in a corner of the upstairs room as it poked and prodded her, full of predatory curiosity and excitement. The thought of the vile monster anywhere near her so frightened and angered him that he completely lost his concentration, and Chaos was quick to take advantage.

Vincent was struck by an intense wave of agony, so distracted that his knees buckled beneath him and he dropped to the floor. He heard Lucrecia cry out as if from a great distance, his ears ringing as his vision went completely red and then slowly cleared. He pitched forward onto the palms of his hands and hung his head, his hair obscuring his face as he struggled to draw his next breath. His chest felt unbearably tight, as if his insides were being shifted around and forced together in ways they weren't meant to go, and combined with the pain it was nearly impossible to get enough air. His bones ached and his joints felt as if they were being yanked apart, but at that moment the worst of the blinding agony was coming from the two rapidly expanding bulges beneath the skin of his back.

This time, he was unable to hold back the scream that tore free from his lungs. Vincent thought he heard Lucrecia scream, too, but all of his senses were dulled by the overwhelming pain. White hot agony washed over him as two sharp leathery wings ripped free from the tender flesh of his back. He cried out again as the demon's wings spread out above him almost gracefully, then slowly lowered to fall over his body like a demonic blanket.

_No. No, no, no. Not here!_

Trembling on his hands and knees, his head nearly lowered to the floor, Vincent grit his teeth and fought harder than he ever had to keep the transformation from continuing. By all rights he knew it should have. Once the wings had burst forth from his body, everything else should have quickly followed. But he remained intensely aware of Lucrecia's presence just a few feet away despite the ungodly pain that threatened to send him into unconsciousness and hand his body over to Chaos at any moment. He could feel her, smell her… practically _taste_ her fear. Chaos was enjoying it, and the flashes of his lover seen through the demon's eyes ran through his mind once more, disturbing and confusing as he gasped for air and clawed at the concrete. Vincent snarled, cursing the demon and strengthening his resolve to prevent it from emerging anywhere near Lucrecia.

His hair hanging into his face and his vision tinted red, Vincent shakily lifted his head and followed Lucrecia's bare foot up her body until he finally forced himself to try to meet her eyes. She was crying, one trembling hand held to her chin, and now she looked absolutely terrified. She hadn't moved from her position in front of the door as if frozen in place, and when her eyes locked with his the entire Planet seemed to come to a stop. He looked up at her through his bangs, pleading with her to move aside, to let him go, wheezing with pain and unable to get to his feet. He wanted to shout at her to go, to run, but he couldn't form the words. Yet part of him still wanted her comfort…

_Help me, I need you…_

He watched in horror as she took one small step away from the door, then another. Chaos flooded his mind with predatory desires and images of bloodshed that nearly made him vomit, but he was unable to speak and warn her to stay away from him. All he could do was look on helplessly as Lucrecia cautiously approached him, barely able to focus as he fought with his entire being to contain the demon and protect her.

* * *

((**Author's Notes**: Getting serious here! This is the first half of the final scene of the fic, actually. Crazy, eh? So there is one more big chapter, and then an epilogue for a total of 30 chapters by ffnet's count. Sorry I was again a bit slow to update. Just the usual combination of my health problems and some writer's block, and the holidays of course! I hope you all had a Merry Christmas if you celebrate as I do, or otherwise enjoyed your holiday season.

- **As for the chapter content itself**… I worked on it for a long time because it's the climax of the whole story and the first scene idea I ever had the led to the story in the first place, so it was very important to me and I wanted it _just so_, the way I saw it inside my mind. I _did _change it a bit from my original concept, though, which always happens to a degree. I hope you enjoyed it and it came through as emotionally charged and tense as I intended. Sorry for the cliffy, but the chapter would have been enormous and taken me another couple weeks to publish otherwise, lol. It would mean a lot to me to know what everyone thinks about this chapter, so even if you've never left a review before, since we're coming to the end, if you could take a few and let me know I'd be forever grateful. Thank you so much!

- **No worries about reaching the end of the road**, though. I intend to begin my next multi chapter, which continues Vincent's story, along with continuing tale of Junon Harbor and the world as it exists in my AU, pretty much right after I wrap up here. It's called _Internal Warfare_, and there is a poll in my profile about it. I hope you all will follow me over there, because it's going to be really long and have a ton going on! If you have a favorite character or pairing I write that was not featured much here, your chances of seeing them there are really good, too. Feel free to PM and ask if you like! I'll also consider requests and suggestions, too, because the scope is a lot bigger and I'll be doing a lot of characterization in addition to the main plots.

- **And so 2012 **is about to come to an end as well. As you may know, I first began writing back in 1998 when Final Fantasy VII was new. I had my own website and was not a part of the community here when it started up. I made an account for the heck of it in 2003, right before I vanished from the fanfiction world. I did not write a single word again for a lot of reasons, until some personal things led me back to it in February of this year. And so I reedited all my old works and published them here for the first time, and got to work on lots of new stuff. I would like to thank every single one of you for the support I have received this past year, from readers both old and new. It's been highly motivating and encouraging, and I have big plans for 2013! So Happy New Year, everyone, and lots of love! _~ JenesisX _))


	29. Chapter Twenty Eight: Panic: Part 1

**Chapter Twenty Eight: Panic**

**Part 1**

Lucrecia forced herself to take another slow step forward when her every instinct screamed at her to turn back toward the door and run. Her heart raced wildly, her pulse nearly deafening as the tears continued to fall from her eyes. She had managed to remain reasonably calm up until the last thirty seconds, but now she was terrified.

She nearly forgot to breathe, her teeth chattering as violently as if she'd stepped outside in the dead of winter. Her eyes remained locked on Vincent's unmoving form as she paused, desperate to reach his side but unsure of how he might react. He had lowered his head again, panting and moaning on his hands and knees. His skin was the same grayish purple of Chaos' thick hide, though it was still quite human. His prosthetic hand scratched jagged grooves into the concrete as he clawed at it in agony, his right hand partially warped into a demonic talon and curled up in a tight fist. The sharp nails had sliced into his palm, thick drops of blood falling onto the floor.

She tried not to stare at the leathery wings expanding from his back and spilling over his body on either side of him, but it was nearly impossible. The sight of a human being with wings, especially when it was her lover, was as horrifying as it was fascinating. She was nearly transfixed as she took another careful step toward him, watching the way they shifted with each breath he took and occasionally twitched as if of their own volition. If the situation had not been so dire, the scientist in her would have had hundreds of questions. But at that moment all she knew was that Vincent was in trouble, he was hurting, and he needed her.

Seeing him in so much pain tore at her heart, and it took everything she had not to break down completely. She could almost _feel_ his pain and misery, but she knew she could not give in to how much it was killing her to see him this way. All her life, she had been weak and unable to make the right decision with a clear head when it mattered most. This time, she would not let him down. She had to show him she had changed, that she'd learned from her mistakes and was strong enough to be there for him when he needed to lean on her. She had promised. If he was ever to believe her, she needed to show him. If she let herself think about how much pain he was in, if she allowed herself to stop and hear how hard he was struggling to breathe, or focus on his sounds of pain or the screech of his claw digging into the concrete, she knew she would lose her composure and be useless to him. There would be time to deal with her feelings and cry for him later. She couldn't help him and try to ease his suffering if she fell apart, but standing there watching him shivering before her on his hands and knees, broken and miserable, was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do. She had never seen anyone in so much pain before, and knowing how much he had already endured at Hojo's hands because of choices she'd made only made it harder.

Lucrecia tried to remember everything Vincent and Aeris had ever told her about Chaos as she decided how to best approach him. It was extremely difficult to focus as she listened to the sounds of his suffering and struggled to stop the flow of tears that fell from her eyes, but she grit her teeth and did the best she could. She had to focus. She had to be strong. She knew that any sudden movements would only excite the predator attempting to break free from Vincent's body, and she didn't intend to give the demon any assistance. She bit her lip when she realized that she might have already inadvertently made Vincent's condition worse by the way she'd handled things thus far, but she'd been so determined to prevent him from leaving that she had not considered the possibility. Now, there was no more room for error. That was painfully obvious when she looked down at Vincent's trembling body, half expecting him to finish transforming at any moment. And _then_ what would she do…?

But there was still a chance. There _had _to be. Lucrecia had just been telling him as much, and she had to show him she believed it… and believed in him. She briefly closed her eyes and took a deep breath, realizing she needed to calm herself for more reason than one. As a predator with sharp instincts, Chaos would only be excited by her fear. She had kept her cool when she came across the demon face to face, and it may have been what saved her life. She desperately tried to get control of her emotions, wanting to give Vincent any advantage she could. She wanted nothing more than to go to him and wrap her arms around him, to try to take away his pain and assure him that everything would be all right, and the last thing he needed was for her to panic.

"Vincent…" she said softly, taking another step closer. She was within a few feet of him now, and it killed her not to kneel down beside him and take him in her arms. It didn't matter what he looked like, whether he believed that or not. He didn't seem to react to the sound of her voice, moaning pitifully without changing positions. His arms trembled so badly beneath his weight that she feared they would give way. It was obvious that he could not get back to his feet, and she no longer feared he was going to leave their apartment. He was in no condition to go anywhere. Whatever happened was going to happen right there… and soon.

Unsure if he was even aware of her presence, or what his current mental state was, she knew she needed to get his attention before she risked coming any closer and possibly startling him. Feeling a bit stronger as her tears dried and her heart rate slowed a bit, Lucrecia tried not to think about how much he was hurting as she focused on reaching him.

"Vincent, can you hear me?" she finally managed to ask, raising her trembling voice. It echoed across the basement, startling her and making her jump. There was still no obvious response after several tense seconds and she frowned, fresh tears filling her eyes. Maybe it was too late, and he was no longer able to recognize her voice or even his own name. If that was the case, she had no idea what else to do to help him. There may not have been a thing she _could_ do… but how could she simply stand by and watch him suffer as a demon put him through hell and slowly stole ownership of his body? Lucrecia already knew the answer to that question. She couldn't.

Just as she became convinced that he could not hear her and began to consider other options, Vincent slowly lifted his head. Lucrecia gasped, watching as he opened his eyes. They were blurry and unfocused, raised no higher than her waist level for long moments before he hesitantly met her gaze. Her heart began to race all over again when their eyes connected, and for a moment she was staring into his soul. Vincent was still very much present, and though his eyes were a deeper red and shining far more than the usual soft glow she'd grown used to in the dark, they belonged to her lover and not the demon. There was so much raw emotion in his eyes that it was nearly overwhelming… Pain, fear, desperation, shame, and a burning, undying love.

"I'm sorry…" he whispered, his voice so weak and quiet she barely heard him as he paused to gasp for breath. "I tried… so hard. Never wanted you… to see… this…" He squeezed his eyes closed as a violent tremor wracked his body, and when he lowered his head again Lucrecia swore she heard him whimper.

"Oh, Vincent…"

Lucrecia crossed the remaining distance between them and dropped to her knees before him, any lingering fear washed away. She was scarcely aware of the tears that flowed down her cheeks, focused only on comforting her lover any way she could. It was obvious that he was fighting Chaos with every ounce of his strength, but she had no idea how much longer he could possibly hold out. She knew almost nothing about the process and what usually happened, only that it was unpleasant and very painful. He had never been willing to tell her more, and the most she'd ever seen of a transformation in progress were the early signs he hadn't been able to hide before he'd escaped onto the roof earlier in the evening.

She reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder, shocked by how rigid his muscles were beneath his discolored skin. Vincent flinched at her gentle touch, quickly lifting his head again. His eyes were wide with alarm, but when he opened his mouth he couldn't seem to form the words. He turned his head and stared at her hand, closing his eyes and trying to bite down on a cry of pain, and when he opened them again he slowly shook his head. Lucrecia realized he seemed unable to speak again, but he was making himself clear nonetheless. He didn't want her to touch him, a near panicked look in his eyes. She heard his rapid breathing increase, quickly removing her hand before she upset him further.

"Vincent, it's okay," she said softly, relieved when he at least made eye contact again for a moment before they began to dart wildly around the room. He looked like a cornered animal, frantic and desperate to escape while already knowing he was trapped. "Please let me help you."

That got his attention. Vincent shook his head rapidly and tried to crawl backwards to put distance between them, managing to move only a short distance before crying out in agony and doubling over. Lucrecia lifted a hand to her mouth to stifle a sob as she watched him attempt to drag himself and those huge demonic wings across the floor. The sight of them hindering his movements so badly made her realize that this transformation could not possibly be typical, but he was fighting so hard to prevent it from happening that he seemed to have almost 'paused' the process. He was paying for it dearly, and the fact that he was still trying to get away when he was hurting so badly instead of accepting her aid wounded her soul. Didn't he trust her despite everything they'd experienced together since her return? She knew it had only been about ten weeks, but they had already grown so dependent on each other. Or was he _still_ trying to protect her even as his body was being torn apart?

"Get… away…" he growled, gasping for air and unable to move any farther. He had only managed to back up about two feet, and Lucrecia cautiously shifted toward him while his head was down and his hair shielded his face from view. She was vaguely aware of skinning her bare knees on the rough cement, almost glad to be able to feel some small amount of the physical pain Vincent was enduring.

"I won't leave you like this," she whispered, her voice trembling as she closed the distance between them. "I love you, and you're hurting. Let me be here for you…"

She watched Vincent's back rise and fall as he heaved a great sigh, the wings briefly mirroring the motion before returning, lifeless, to the floor. "Please… go…"

"Vincent, I can't," Lucrecia tearfully insisted, her voice breaking as she bit back a sob. "I _won't_."

When he raised his head and met her eyes through a curtain of black hair, they were both frozen in place by the unexpected intensity of what passed between them. Over thirty years of love and longing, hurt and disappointment, guilt and grief. Vincent's eyes screamed at her to run, yet begged her to stay. He needed her so badly, but he was trying so hard to push her away. His fear and pain were so great that it sent a shiver down her spine, and she could not help but reach out to him again. Their eyes remained locked as she extended her arm and placed the palm of her hand against his cheek, gently caressing his face and forcing him to maintain eye contact. He tensed and seemed about to pull away again, but after a moment she felt him lean into her touch. He exhaled sharply through his nose, and though he was still trembling violently and unable to lift himself from his hands and knees, she allowed herself a moment of hope.

"I will always be here for you," she told him firmly, praying there was no fear in her expression and that her eyes reflected the sincerity of her words. She was terrified, but not of him. She was afraid _for_ him, frightened that what he had to endure was too heavy a burden for anyone to carry no matter how strong and determined they were. And as selfish as it was, she was scared to death that she might one day lose him to Chaos for good. But in his current state she doubted he would understand the difference, fighting as hard as she could to keep her fears and insecurities hidden. The last thing she wanted was for him to think she was afraid of him, or was repulsed by his condition.

Vincent could only stare at her wordlessly, though he briefly squeezed his eyes closed in concentration as another spasm of pain tore through his body. She could feel the way he grit his teeth as she kept her hand resting along the side of his face, relieved that he did not turn away. He continued to lean into her touch as if it was soothing, exactly what Lucrecia had intended. All she wanted was to provide him with some measure of comfort, to show him that he was still human, that she loved and accepted him exactly as he was. If such a simple gesture was helpful, maybe there was a slight chance that she could help him avoid completing the transformation. And if not, at least she would be there by his side instead of leaving him to go through it alone.

"You don't have to say anything," she told him softly, running her hand back through his hair. She intentionally traced her fingers over the edges of his pointed ear to show him that she didn't care, that she was not repelled and was able to handle the changes happening to his body. She was certain no one had ever touched him while he was in any stage of a transformation, other than perhaps in battle, and maybe that was part of his problem. She watched as Vincent twitched a little, then tilted his head toward her hand. His features were still pinched with pain and his breathing remained strained and ragged, but he didn't seem to be getting any worse as near as she could tell. "Just try to relax," she coaxed him, moving her hand forward again to rest along his jaw line. His eyes slid closed, his long lashes making him appear almost peaceful until he grimaced with pain again.

"I can tell how hard you're fighting this," she told him quietly, her voice wavering with barely contained tears. Every time she managed to stop crying, the tears barely dried on her cheeks, fresh ones would fall to take their place. "I know how much you're suffering… and I know you never wanted me to see this. But it's okay… I can handle it, and I'm going to stay with you no matter what happens."

Vincent's eyes flew open and he groaned miserably, lifting his right arm from the floor and weakly reaching toward her. As he did so, his other arm finally buckled beneath his weight. Lucrecia gasped and moved forward faster than she thought she was able, pushing her much smaller body beneath his and catching him before he fell. She grit her teeth as she struggled to lift him up into something resembling a sitting position, letting him lean heavily against her. She was reminded of just how much he weighed despite his lean build, and right now he seemed more solid than usual. There was also the matter of the cumbersome wings to contend with. They dragged against the floor behind him as she helped him adjust, finally lifting a few inches from the ground to fold up closer against his back.

Vincent remained upright only because he was pressed against her side, his long legs curled awkwardly beneath him. Lucrecia was left breathless, her muscles screaming against the sudden exertion as she used all of her body weight to support him. She jumped when she felt something touch her opposite shoulder a moment later, her eyes widening when she realized his wings had spread out again and one of them was now resting clumsily across her back. It felt strange and her first instinct was to shift away, but she reminded herself that it was attached to Vincent's body and forced herself to relax, hoping he hadn't noticed her initial reaction. Unfortunately, it was too late.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, weakly trying to move away from her. He nearly pitched forward again and she thrust her arm across his chest, just barely holding him up. He moaned pitifully, a powerful shudder running through his body. He closed his eyes and began to tremble violently, and for a moment she feared he was about to lose control entirely.

"Vincent!" she exclaimed, her heart in her throat as he slumped against her side and nearly knocked them both to the ground. "You have got to listen to me!" She quickly regained her balance and reached out to gently turned his chin toward her, forcing his dazed, pain-filled eyes to search out hers. "You have to stop worrying and calm down. I think no differently of you, and when this is over I will still be here. Nothing will be any different, I _promise_ you. I love you, baby…"

He stared at her dully as if he didn't comprehend the words, and for a moment Lucrecia feared that the demon had finally taken over his mind. But after a pause he tilted his head and blinked, lowering his eyes in shame. "But I'm… a monster…"

"No…" Lucrecia whispered, letting the tears fall again. She tenderly caressed his cheek, hoping she could continue to support his weight and encourage him to relax. Though she had always loved the large size difference between them she suddenly wished he was not quite so tall. "You're not a monster, Vincent. You're beautiful…"

Vincent's reaction to her quiet words stunned her. He laughed. But it was not the deep, wonderful laugh that had caught her so off guard when he'd been amused by Yuffie's arrest report the night before. It was a bitter sound, rough and ugly, shaking his entire body with pain. The red of his eyes grew darker, a sneer turning up one side of his mouth and displaying several long, sharp fangs as he stared at her in disbelief.

"Please don't lie to save my feelings," Vincent said… but the voice that emerged sounded almost nothing like him. It was cold and gravelly, nearly a growl, and combined with the harsh look in his eyes Lucrecia suddenly felt as if there was a stranger resting so intimately against her with his face only inches away. He reached up with his prosthetic and roughly removed her hand from his cheek, though she noted he was still careful not to cut her with the sharp edges. She began to shiver again and hoped he wouldn't notice because of how badly his own body continued to spasm and shake, forcing herself to look him in the eye and keep her expression as close to neutral as she could manage. His words hurt her deeply, but she told herself that it was Chaos' influence making him say such things. The demon wanted nothing more than to take control of Vincent's body, and if she was the reason he was fighting the transformation so hard, it made sense that he would want to scare her away. Lucrecia was not about to let that happen.

"You know I wouldn't lie to you," she said quietly, trying to look past the angry expression on his face. It was so out of place on his delicate features, usually so calm and gentle when he looked her way, that it disturbed her more than the changes to his body. "I know you can't help any of this. I just want to sit here with you until you feel better…"

Lucrecia knew she was likely being unrealistic, but maybe that was what he needed to hear. She didn't have a clue what his Avalanche teammates did when they'd seen him begin to transform, but she had a feeling it wasn't anything like this. That wouldn't have been possible during a conflict, which was where she assumed it had almost always occurred in their presence, but even if it hadn't she suspected they would have shunned him with the exception of Aeris… and she dearly hoped their son. Lucrecia also knew many of them continued to treat him as an outcast and even a danger despite everything he'd done and continued to do as part of their team. Chaos was a large part of why, and Vincent deserved to have at least one person on the Planet who treated him with dignity and respect when he was forced to combat his inner demon. If she couldn't be that person for him, then who?

"No…" he protested, and this time the voice was his own. His expression softened and he closed his eyes for a moment, wincing in pain as she felt his entire body tense at her side. The wing resting against her back twitched several time, then went eerily still again as it fell against her back. It was surprisingly warm, far less unpleasant than she would have expected something so harsh in appearance to feel.

"Shhh," Lucrecia comforted him, glancing behind them and noting with relief that they were only a few feet away from the wall. She was having a difficult time supporting him with nothing to lean against and her body was already beginning to tire. After slipping one arm tightly around his waist, she began using her legs and free hand to awkwardly push them backwards across the cold floor, dragging him along with her as best she could. Vincent's eyes widened and he looked alarmed for a moment, unsure of what was happening. He had been so focused on fighting Chaos that he seemed to have forgotten where he was, glancing around the room in a panic. When he finally realized what she was doing, he tried to assist her as much as he was able, though his movements were weak and awkward. She smiled at him gratefully, relieved that he was cooperating and aware enough to know she was trying to help him.

When they finally reached the wall, Lucrecia pushed their backs up against it, relieved to have the extra support. Vincent groaned and threw his head backwards with a dull thud, stretching his long legs out in front of him. His prosthetic arm rested like dead weight in his lap, his other hand situated partially between them. His wings remained spread out behind him, pressed between their bodies and the stone wall. Lucrecia had no idea what else to do with them and felt too awkward to ask. The contact wasn't bothering her in any way, though he kept glancing behind them uncomfortably and clearly did not like the fact that the right wing was still spread out behind her back. She wondered if it was painful for him to have them trapped up against the wall that way, unsure if it was okay to lean her weight against it. He was doing so, however, and there seemed no other practical way to position him. She tried not to worry about it and act as if the wings weren't there, not wanting to make him any more self conscious than he already was. He seemed to be trembling less, and the severe bouts of pain were coming more infrequently now that he was somewhat calmer. He didn't look any better, but he didn't appear any more demonic, either.

"That's better," she said to break the awkward silence, pleased that Vincent was breathing a bit slower once he'd had a moment to settle in beside her. He was still sweating and moaning every few moments in obvious agony, but he had stopped fighting her aid for the time being. She realized he may have simply run out of energy when she saw how exhausted he appeared, wondering with some alarm if he would soon be too tired to continue holding back Chaos. She'd wanted him to relax, but what would happen if he fell asleep or became unconscious? His eyelids had grown heavy, threatening to close at any moment as he shuddered with another spasm and grit his teeth. "Vincent? Stay with me, baby."

He blinked, fighting to focus his eyes as he turned his head to look at her. For just a moment she could have sworn he looked tearful, but another bolt of pain forced him to double over, crying out as he gripped his stomach with his normal hand. Lucrecia tried to wrap her arm around him, but it was difficult because of the wings and she settled for awkwardly rubbing his shoulder and running her hand through his hair. She gave up on holding back the tears, deciding she wouldn't even try any more. How could she not cry for him? He was the man she loved, and she knew without any doubt that he would have given his life for her. To see him suffer after all he had been through broke her heart. Her eyes fell upon the deep scars marring his torso, each one inflicted because he loved her and she had been too foolish to make the right decision. She would have given anything to take his place at that moment, because she knew it was she who deserved to suffer.

When he caught his breath and slowly straightened up, she gently ran her hand along his cheek and eased his head down onto her shoulder. He was tense at first and partially lifted his head again, but was so weak and exhausted that he quickly dropped it back into place with a tired sigh. "Lucrecia…" he whispered, reaching out to lightly touch her leg with his right hand. It was partially twisted into a demonic claw, but she did not hesitate to take a firm hold of it. He started to pull away after seeing her small hand joined with his warped one, but she held on tight and he finally relented. His hand was cold and rough with boney joints and sharp nails, but Lucrecia never wanted to let go.

"I'm here, baby," she said, tilting her head to the side to rest against his. She felt him shift his weight slightly, groaning quietly and muttering a Wutaiian curse she'd rarely heard him use. Any hesitance he'd had to lean against her was gone, his body pressed against her side and his head heavy on her shoulder. He felt so strange and familiar at once, though she was comforted by the fact that he still smelled the same, and his hair was just as soft. He continued to shiver violently, and she wished she had a blanket to wrap around him or could at least reach his cloak. He was shirtless and the basement was always uncomfortably cold in Lucrecia's opinion, and though he was likely shivering because of the pain it would have made her feel better somehow. She felt so helpless sitting there, unable to do anything but offer her presence.

She had nearly forgotten Vincent had spoken her name by the time he took a deep breath and continued. "Thank you… for doing this before you go…"

He sounded much calmer, far closer to his normal tone, but all Lucrecia heard were his mournful words. She couldn't see his face, still holding on to his hand as it rested against her thigh and frowning in confusion. "Wait, what? Go where?"

Vincent tensed and began to breathe raggedly again, whimpering under his breath as he cringed in agony. He was still for long moments, until he was finally able to relax and speak again. "I don't know where you will go…"

"I'm sorry, baby… I'm not sure what you're talking about." Lucrecia feared he was growing delirious, reaching across her body with her free hand to tenderly run her fingers through his hair. "It's okay, you don't need to say anything. Just rest for now, and we can talk later."

"No, _listen_," he insisted, his voice muffled against her shoulder. He sounded irritated that she didn't understand, a quiet gasp escaping his lips as he shuddered with pain. Lucrecia tried not to wince as he dug the sharp nails of his partially transformed fingers into her thigh, her nightgown offering little protection. Thankfully his eyes were closed and he didn't see what he was doing. She kept still and forced herself to withstand the pain, letting him do whatever he needed to cope with his suffering. She knew he wasn't aware of his actions, because he never would have willfully done anything to cause her the least amount of discomfort. She absently wondered how she was going to explain the angry marks she was certain would be left behind as her eyes filled with tears of pain. His grip loosened a moment later and he exhaled through his nose, and Lucrecia couldn't help but sigh with relief. She stroked the back of his hand, once again forgetting he had been in the process of speaking until he whispered against the side of her neck. "Want to tell you this… before you go away…"

Lucrecia's eyes widened as she finally realized what he meant. His voice was so weak and heavy with loss and sorrow that her chest grew tight and new tears flooded her eyes, and she felt him shudder against the pain of his words. While part of her realized she shouldn't have been surprised that he still expected her to abandon him, it didn't hurt any less. "Vincent, _I'm not leaving!" _she cried, her voice breaking with grief and frustration. "Not now, and not ever!"

Before she could help herself, she had turned and thrown her arms around his neck, clinging to his trembling body in desperation. He moaned miserably, his head falling back against the wall as Lucrecia buried her face against his neck and cried. His breathing quickened and his body remained alarmingly tense, but after a moment she felt first one arm, then the other tentatively snake around her and hold her against him. She held on tight, whispering her love for him as he slowly began to relax in her embrace.

The contact was frightening but comforting, pressed so close against a body that was no longer entirely his in the dimly lit basement, the only sounds his labored breathing and the quiet whimpers of pain that escaped his lips. Her heart was racing as she clung to him, barely aware of the words she soft words she spoke as she ran one hand through his hair and kept the other wrapped tightly around his neck. His arms around her were loose and unsure, but his chin had dropped to her shoulder and he allowed her to shift almost half way into his lap in an effort to get closer. He was so tense and on edge, but it was obvious he was weakening and reaching exhaustion. Lucrecia knew he would either win or lose his battle with Chaos very soon, and as she held him in her arms she finally believed they had a chance of defeating the demon together.

Just as the thought crossed her mind and she allowed herself to lift her head and press a light kiss to the side of his jaw, she felt and then heard a low growl rumbling deep within Vincent's chest. Her eyes widened and she froze, holding her breath as her pulse pounded wildly at her temples. Gods, had she done something wrong and dared hope for too much? Vincent was suddenly very still, his arms dropping down to his sides as he slowly raised his head. Lucrecia began to tremble, about to risk asking him what was wrong when he exploded.

He raised both arms and shoved Lucrecia back and away from him so quickly that she didn't realized what had happened until she was lying nearly by the door. The force of it knocked the wind out of her as her back hit the concrete, and for a moment she laid there stunned and blinking, confused as she found herself staring up at the ceiling. It didn't take long for the pain to kick in and remind her of what was going on, and she forced herself to sit up in a panic.

"Vincent!" she croaked, still winded. She wasn't injured other than some definite bruising and skid marks from the concrete, wishing all of this had not begun while she was in bed and wearing only a nightgown. She quickly found him in the same position against the wall, struggling desperately to reach his feet. He had shifted forward onto his knees and was wavering back and forth, finally falling onto one side with a frustrated cry of rage as he wrapped his arms around his stomach and trembled in pain.

"Go away!" he snarled through gritted teeth, looking up at her with blood red eyes that were glowing even more brightly than before. "LEAVE!"

"I already told you… I won't do that," Lucrecia said, her voice trembling as she remained where she had fallen. She wanted badly to return to his side, but now she was frightened and unsure of how in control of himself he was. She knew Vincent would never hurt her, but she didn't know if it was he who was deciding how to react to her presence any longer. "If I wanted to leave, I would turn and walk out this door right now. But I'm not going to." To prove her point, she inched forward on her knees just slightly, meeting his eyes with all the courage she could muster.

"No! Why won't you go?!" he exclaimed, his eyes darting about wildly as he attempted to get up again and failed miserably. He cried out in pain and nearly pitched forward onto his face, and it took all of Lucrecia's self-control not to run to him. Vincent's breathing grew more ragged until he was nearly panting, the beads of sweat running down his face and neck and matting his hair to his skin. He had been so calm just moments before, and now he seemed almost frantic. She was terrified that Chaos was about to emerge, what remained of Vincent's control rapidly eroding away. "How can you look at me and stay here?" he whispered bitterly, a thin trail of blood running down his chin from a place where the demon's sharp fangs had sliced into his bottom lip.

"Because I love you, Vincent," she said firmly, creeping a little closer. "I promised I would always be here for you, and I told you I wanted to stay with you forever. Remember?" She held out her left hand and showed him the engagement ring he'd placed on her finger the second night she'd spent with him in Junon Harbor, the ring he'd waited to give her for over thirty years. She watched as his eyes focused in upon it, and he tilted his head as he studied it closely. She knew he was able to see it clearly due to his enhanced vision despite the distance between them. For a moment she feared he couldn't remember, but then he snorted bitterly and closed his eyes, trembling with pain and shaking his head.

"I… _hid_ this from you!" he nearly growled, finally managing to get back to his knees with Chaos' wings draped awkwardly over his back. "You never… would have said yes if…" He was forced to pause as a powerful spasm of pain tore through his body, digging another series of grooves into the floor with his golden claw. "… if you had… seen _this_ first…"

"_Yes_, I would have!" Lucrecia exclaimed. She was hurt and offended that he doubted her, but that wasn't what mattered. She understood why he felt so insecure about his condition, and that it was hard for him to trust her. Their renewed relationship was still young, and there was so much they were working to adapt to. Their love and devotion was never in question, but there were still so many issues they needed to work out. Vincent had only just begun really talking to her about what had been bothering him and what he went through with Chaos, and she strongly suspected his hesitance to discuss his feelings was a large part of what had led them to this moment. "I _knew_ about the transformations, Vincent, and I still said yes. That _never_ mattered! I love you for who you are, and I always will."

"How can you say that when you found yourself in bed beside a demon!" Vincent shouted at her, his eyes burning into hers with a cold fire. "You didn't even want me when I was normal!"

Lucrecia recoiled as if she'd been slapped, her eyes widening in horror. Her mouth dropped open, but the words wouldn't come. She could only stare into Vincent's eyes, taking in all of the hurt, the _anger_, and the betrayal he was aiming directly at her. In that moment it was as if all of his usual reserve and self-control had been stripped away, his emotions laid bare. There was so much naked pain and sorrow in his eyes that Lucrecia was unable to draw a breath, a sharp stab of searing agony burning in her chest. She wanted to look away but couldn't, the accusation on her lover's face holding her prisoner. She finally managed to draw a shaky breath, raising one trembling hand to cover her heart as if to stem the bleeding. She was unaware of the tears streaming down her cheeks or anything else in the room, only the bitterness and rejection in Vincent's eyes.

He looked away first, slumping back against the wall and bringing his knees up to his chest. He took a deep breath, his entire body trembling with it, then laid his head down atop his knees and wrapped his arms around himself. His wings seemed to mirror his arms, falling forward and loosely draping around his sides. It looked as if he was trying to protect himself against the pain, curling in on himself and effectively blocking Lucrecia out.

She was left on her knees, trembling and sobbing, feeling as if her heart had just been torn from her chest. Worst of all, she knew she deserved it. As she watched Vincent shuddering across the room, she had never felt more alone… or more vile. _She _had caused him to hurt that way. If she had been stronger, he wouldn't be suffering a lifetime of battles against a demon who sought to overtake his body and filled his mind with strange instincts and desires. He wouldn't feel like an outcast or think he was a monster. He wouldn't have been tortured by Hojo and have terrifying flashbacks and nightmares. All of it was her fault… all of his pain was because of her. If only she had done the right thing and left when he- Lucrecia's eyes widened, and suddenly it was as if the other shoe had dropped inside her mind.

Maybe this had much less to do with his physical state than she realized. She knew he was ashamed of what had been done to him and hated for her to see any signs of his heightened senses or new instincts. He despised his prosthetic and was hesitant to touch her with it, something she was slowly training him out of. It had also been a battle to get him to remove his shirt even when they made love because he was so ashamed of his scars and convinced she would be repulsed. Even now, he frequently turned his back when changing. He had managed to hide his transformations from her since she arrived until the night she'd come across Chaos in the upstairs room, something he still did not know about. This was the first time she had witnessed the transition, however, and it was obvious that Vincent was not handling it well. But beneath all of those insecurities lurked one common cause, the fuel that fed the fire and made them so much worse.

"_You didn't even want me when I was normal!"_

As she watched him curled up against the wall, his body shaking and his hair spilling over his knees and down his back, a wave of despair washed over her. How could she ever hope to convince him that she loved and accepted him despite the changes to his body when he was still carrying around the hurt and rejection from three decades earlier? For them, it felt like less than three months, the large amount of time that had actually passed for the rest of the Planet meaning little. She could hardly blame him for feeling the way he did. In his position, she knew she would have felt the same way and likely handled it much less admirably.

As she watched him begin to slowly rock himself, Chaos' wings gradually folding themselves inward to rest against his back, Lucrecia allowed herself to really put herself in Vincent's place and think about how her actions must have made him feel. She had told him she would leave with him, several times, yet always backed out. That told him her word was questionable, that she could not always be trusted. Why should he suddenly believe that had changed when she reentered his life without warning? She had once chosen someone else over him despite how much he loved her and how hard he tried, which he took to mean he was inferior in some way. Not good enough. Flawed. And if he had not been good enough _then_, what was he now as he sat there partially transformed into a demon right in front of her?

"Gods…" she whispered to herself, nearly overwhelmed by the realization of just how deeply she had hurt her lover. She had always known, but watching him forced to battle Chaos and hearing his tortured words echoing through her mind had awakened something within her. They had grown so close, and were so in love, but an invisible barrier had remained between them. There was a nameless wall separating them that she'd felt helpless to climb, a barrier that left her frustrated and unsure of how to reach out and really touch him again. Something had been keeping Vincent from dropping his guard and letting her in, and while she knew Chaos was a large part of it, there always seemed to be something more. Now, she knew exactly what it was. They had talked about their painful past when she first returned, and she mistakenly thought they were both handling it well and making forward progress. But how could she ever truly know how he felt when he wasn't willing to discuss it and was so good at avoiding the subject? She had been such a fool, lulled into complacency by a silence that hid so much pain. Vincent had not changed nearly as much as he thought…

A sound from across the room broke her from her thoughts, and she focused her eyes on Vincent again. She was shocked to see that the demonic wings were now completely gone from his back, as if they had never been there at all. He suddenly looked so small and fragile as he sat alone in the shadows. His body was wracked by a strangled gasp followed by what she thought was a cough, but after a moment her eyes widened when she realized it was an attempt to hold back a sob. His shoulders shook violently and he hugged himself more tightly, and Lucrecia bit her lip to keep from sobbing with him. He clearly did not want her to know he was upset, and after his last outburst she was unsure of his state of mind. She was encouraged by the retraction of the wings, however, and nervously cleared her throat.

"Are… are you okay…?"

There was no answer, and she hadn't really expected one. But she wanted him to know she was still there, and that she wasn't angry with him for his outburst. And if _he_ was angry with _her_, she was more than willing to accept it. After she got over her initial shock, Lucrecia realized the rare anger she had seen in his eyes was almost refreshing. It was about time. Vincent had never been willing to express that emotion toward her before, or admit to just how hurt he was over her past actions… and she knew a part of him had to be furious. No one could have so easily forgiven what she'd done to he and their son. She knew he nearly worshipped her and saw her as a victim of Hojo and Shin-ra Incorporated, but she had made her own decisions, too. Vincent was far from blind or stupid. He knew she'd had her chance to get away, because he had given it to her himself… and she had turned him down. She knew that anger had been buried deep inside him, and that he never meant for her to see it. But it had finally broken free from his control thanks to Chaos. As much as it hurt to see it burning in his eyes, Lucrecia swallowed the pain and focused on her lover. This was about him and his emotions, and she did her best to push her own feelings aside.

"Vincent?" she tried again, slowly climbing to her feet but not moving any closer. Her back ached where it had impacted the floor, and she could feel a few raw patches on the backs of her legs where she had briefly slid across the concrete. Her eyes burned from crying and her head pounded with tension. But as bad as she felt, she knew Vincent was suffering far worse. He was still trembling and moaning quietly, though the spasms that had wracked his body seemed to have stopped. She noticed that his skin tone appeared much lighter, though it was hard to tell at a distance in the poor lighting. But with the wings gone, she allowed herself to hope that he had finally banished the demon and was beginning to regain control of his body. Now her biggest concern for was his mind. "Baby, can you hear me?"

Without lifting it, Vincent slowly shook his head no. Lucrecia normally would have smiled at the contradiction, but there was nothing funny about the pitiful gesture. She wasn't sure what he meant, to what he was responding negatively. She saw him shudder violently and take a deep breath, holding back another strangled cry of grief as he kept his arms wrapped close around his knees.

Lucrecia had had enough, no longer able to stand there and watch him sit alone, so broken and utterly despondent. She didn't care if he wasn't yet in control of himself and might push her away again. It was a risk she had to take. She quickly crossed the distance between them and sat down beside him, tears streaming down her cheeks. She slipped one arm around behind him and wrapped the other on top of his own, embracing him tightly. He jumped in surprise as if he hadn't even heard her approach, growing very tense and holding his breath. Lucrecia braced herself, expecting him to pull away or attempt to forcefully remove her. But after a moment he exhaled sharply and did nothing, still not lifting his head.

"It's okay… everything's okay…" she whispered, daring to lay her head down on his shoulder. Now that she was closer she could see that his complexion was almost completely normal, and his breathing slowly began to return to a more reasonable rate. He was no longer sweating, though he was still trembling and quietly moaning in pain. Vincent didn't react to her comfort, nor did he fight it. She lifted her hand and gently ran it through his hair, brushing her fingers past his ear and finding that it was no longer pointed. She smiled through her tears, amazed by his strength. "I'm so proud of you, Vincent."

She raised her head as she felt him slowly lift his, just enough so that she could see his eyes. He didn't turn his head but glanced at her sideways, his eyes wary and full of suspicion. "Proud of me…?" he asked quietly, following the question with a bitter snort. "For what?"

"You fought Chaos and won," she said, leaning back and gently brushing his bangs away from his face. His eyes followed her movements, but he remained otherwise motionless. "You didn't think you could, but you did it. That was the bravest thing I've ever seen."

Vincent stared at her for a moment as if considering her words, then squeezed his eyes closed and furrowed his brow as if in intense pain. "At what cost…" he whispered, so quietly she barely heard him. Lucrecia was unsure exactly what he meant. Was he referring to what she had witnessed, or the way he had acted under Chaos' influence? Neither changed the way she felt about him, but she knew he would have a hard time dealing with what had happened. She was about to reassure him when he finally raised his head the rest of the way and leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes with an expression of exhaustion and defeat. "It doesn't matter anyway… The result is the same. You are still going to leave."

"_Gods, _you are dense!" Lucrecia exclaimed without thinking, cringing when he opened his eyes and looked at her with a bit of surprise on his face. "I'm sorry... but I've told you so many times that I'm _not_ going to leave you. I only want you to believe me."

"No one would choose to stay after this," Vincent stated matter-of-factly, stretching his legs out in front of him with a grimace. He was speaking even more quietly than usual, his eyes heavy as he regarded her skeptically. "I won't hold it against you… and you will always own my heart."

"Vincent!" she cried, taking a firm hold of his arm as the tears continued to fall. She was so frustrated as she met his tired eyes, desperate to make him believe. "Dammit, I'm not going anywhere! _Nothing_ that happened tonight has made me even consider it! If meeting Chaos didn't do it before, nothing ever will!"

The moment his eyes widened, Lucrecia gasped, realizing exactly what she had just blurted out. Much as he had done when his emotions were running high, she had finally been unable to hold back the words she'd carefully protected since the night she accidentally came face to face with the demon. She had meant to tell him so many times, but had always lost her nerve. She was so afraid of upsetting him and ruining what they were still struggling to rebuild, and the moment had never been right. But _now_ certainly wasn't the time she would have chosen…

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((**Author's Note: **Because of the extreme length of this chapter, you now have a choice! You can either stop for now and come back later, or continue on to Part 2... which is posted already as the next 'chapter.' Hurray for giant chapter options! _~ JenesisX _))


	30. Chapter Twenty Eight: Panic: Part 2

**Chapter Twenty Eight: Panic**

**Part 2**

((**Author's Notes: **This is the second half of this chapter, which I split in half to give readers a break if they needed it because of its length. So if you are coming here without reading the previous chapter first, you need to go back or this will make no sense. I have noticed since posting both parts together several days ago that many more people are viewing this half of the chapter than the first, and that is just... not right for obvious reasons. So I'm adding this note in the hopes that it helps clear up that situation. _~ JenesisX_ ))

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"…what?" Vincent whispered, lifting his head away from the wall and suddenly look far more alert. When Lucrecia lowered her gaze and failed to answer right away, he reached out and roughly lifted her chin with his right hand, forcing her to meet his eyes. They were wild with panic, his hand trembling badly as he stared at her. He was frowning severely, but the overwhelming emotion in his eyes was fear.

Lucrecia's mind raced as her lower lip trembled, but she knew she had to tell him the truth. She'd just told him that she wouldn't lie to him, and now was not the time to try to explain away her careless words. She was terrified of how he would react, because he was still emotionally volatile whether his body was returning to normal or not… but she knew she didn't have a choice.

"Can… can you… try to relax and listen to me, and not get upset… if I tell you?" she asked, her voice wavering despite her best efforts to control it. She knew her fear was obvious, but he hadn't removed his hand from beneath her chin and was still staring at her demandingly. Vincent didn't even blink, but after a moment he suddenly yanked back his hand and closed his eyes, and she could hear him breathing deeply and trying to calm himself. She tightened her arm around his waist, needing to hold him close whether he was upset with her or not.

"I'll try…" he offered, and she knew it was the best he could do. Chaos had taken as much of a toll on his mind as he had on his body, perhaps more, and it was obvious that Vincent was still struggling to regain his stability. "Please be careful," he added, opening his eyes and turning to face her again. His expression was softer now, full of sorrow and regret, and Lucrecia gently ran her hand along his cheek. He was still trying to protect her, aware that he was not completely in control of himself and frightened of what he might do. He was always looking out for her and putting her needs first, even when he was on the verge of falling apart.

"You wouldn't hurt me," she told him softly, because she knew it was the truth… regardless of what the demon lurking inside him might do. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this now... I would have told you before, but I was so afraid it would upset you, and I never knew how to say it. But I guess now I don't really have a choice..." She forced a weak smile, continuing to run her hand along the side of his neck, his face, and through his hair as she spoke. Her touch was visibly relaxing him, and he was having a hard time keeping his eyes open and focused on her. She briefly wondered if she could lull him to sleep without having to go through with it, but he was not about to allow that.

"Tell me, Lucrecia…"

"Do you… remember the night you told me you remembered crawling across the upstairs room and making it outside just before you transformed…?" she tentatively asked, bringing her hand to rest along the side of his face as he suddenly grew very tense. His eyes snapped open and focused clearly again, and he nodded sharply once. "Well… you… you didn't."

Vincent instantly recoiled, pulling away from her touch as if it burned. "Wh-what do you mean I didn't…?"

She reached out and took a hold of his hand, squeezing it tightly before he could retreat any farther. "I woke up and saw that you were gone, and… I heard a noise upstairs. It was probably stupid of me, but… I just had this feeling you were in trouble. So I went to see what was happening…"

"No…" he whispered, closing his eyes and beginning to shiver violently. He tried to move away, but she kept her arm tight around him and he was too weak to fight her. Vincent raised his claw and covered his face, his right hand limp in her firm hold.

"Listen, baby," she said quickly, wanting to continue before he got himself worked up again. "I thought this was a really bad time to have to tell you, but now that I think about it… hearing this might actually help." She paused as he cautiously met her gentle gaze through the metal fingers of his prosthetic, slowly lowering it to rest atop his leg. "When I went upstairs, I didn't see anything at first, but then… Chaos stepped out of the corner and approached me. But he didn't seem- _Relax_, Vincent, please…"

Lucrecia raised the arm she'd kept around his waist and began to rub his bare back, alarmed when he started to breathe so hard she feared he might hyperventilate. He gripped her other hand so tightly it hurt, but she didn't complain or do anything to move it away. He made a pained sound as he undoubtedly pictured the demon towering over his lover, his eyes full of panic as he looked everywhere but at her. She hated that she was causing him so much distress, but it was too late to take back the accidental revelation… and hopefully she could use it to prove to him that she'd been through difficult situations before and remained by his side.

"He was very interested in me… more curious than anything else I think," she continued, still rubbing his back and keeping her voice as soothing as she could given the subject matter. He squirmed uncomfortably and refused to look at her, again raising his claw to cover his face as he groaned miserably. But there was nothing he could do to escape her words, and while it hurt to make him listen Lucrecia forced herself to keep talking. "I was afraid, but I didn't give him any reason to think I was prey. He came very close, touched me a little, even sniffed me like he wasn't sure what exactly I was. But Vincent… _he didn't hurt me_. He eventually just turned and walked away, and I didn't have a scratch on me afterwards." She shook her head, still awed by the encounter.

Vincent's breath caught in his throat and he glanced at her through his claw, though he didn't lower it. "Why…?" he asked, though the question did not seem directed toward her. The words did seem to calm him a bit, however, and he began to breathe more evenly. His hold on her hand became less painful, and she offered him a fond smile.

"I think you have more influence and control over him than you know."

Vincent shook his head, finally lowering his claw back to his lap. "No… I don't remember any of that. I never do."

"You don't give yourself enough credit… just like tonight," she said, studying him with a mixture of sorrow and admiration. "You are incredible for being able to endure what you do."

Vincent snorted. "Even if you stay, you will never be able to look at me the same after what you saw tonight. You will fear me just as everyone else does… It is exactly what he intended."

Lucrecia bit her lip, though she supposed it was progress that he was actually considering the fact that she might not be leaving after all. But she was ready for the comment, removing her hand from his and reaching up to place it gently beneath his chin. She raised his head until he met her eyes, smiling softly and trying to channel all the love she felt for him into her gaze. "Vincent… when you came home the morning after I ran into Chaos, do you remember what happened?"

He frowned, averting his eyes as if he desperately wanted to escape her scrutiny. He seemed puzzled for a moment, his gaze shifting toward the ceiling as he tried to remember the morning in question. He had been sore and exhausted, after all, and Lucrecia feared he didn't recall. But then his eyes slowly returned to hers, a look of recognition shining within them.

"You weren't mad that I disappeared again… and you took care of me…"

Lucrecia smiled and nodded. "Did it seem like I was disgusted or afraid of you?" she gently asked him, thrilled when he maintained eye contact and answered without hesitation.

"No…"

"And what about after you slept for a while?" she continued, moving her hand along his cheek and leaning in a bit closer. "Do you remember that?"

"Yes," he answered as her forehead to came to rest against his, bringing his hand up to take a hold of her wrist. This time, his grip was gentle. "We talked… and… we made love."

"Twice," she added, leaning in to softly kiss his lips. He didn't return it, but she could feel some of his tension melt away beneath the contact. When she leaned back and studied him he looked slightly dazed, his eyes still locked upon hers. "I didn't leave you because I met Chaos that night. And think about everything that's happened since then… Have I treated you any differently, baby?"

Vincent could only shake his head, though he still looked more defeated than relieved. "But I lost control tonight… I put my hands on you! And what I said to you, I didn't mean-"

Lucrecia silenced him with another kiss, more passionate this time, full of all the emotions she wanted him to feel. She snaked her hand around the back of his neck and held him against her, and while he resisted at first him soon gave in and shyly began to kiss her back. When she breathlessly pulled away a moment later, she embraced him tightly as if trying to make certain nothing would ever come between them.

"There's a lot we need to talk about," she said against his ear, overjoyed when he brought his arms around her to crush her against him. "But what you need more right now is to rest. You've been through so much tonight, and you need time to recover first."

"But-"

She leaned back so she could look at him, the naked fear alive in his eyes. "Everything is okay between us, and I'll be here when you wake up," she said, brushing the hair back from his face. "I promise you that."

He nodded weakly, lowering his eyes as if embarrassed by his insecurity. She could tell he was unconvinced, but simply did not have the energy left to protest. He leaned against her heavily, barely able to hold himself upright. She gently eased them back against the wall, her muscles burning with the effort of supporting his much greater weight. His long battle with Chaos had completely exhausted him, body and mind, and at that moment what he needed was to be taken care of. She hoped that for once in his life he would stop worrying about her and let her do it.

"Do you think you can move at all?" she asked him quietly, their arms still wrapped around each other. His embrace had grown weak, his head on her shoulder and his breathing deep and even. It was not quite as slow and shallow as it normally was, and he continued to shiver and attempt to hold back muffled sounds of pain, but he seemed to be falling asleep against her. As tired as he was and as much as she knew he needed it, she wanted him to be somewhere more comfortable, because from previous experience she knew he would sleep for a long time… and this halted transformation had likely taken a much greater toll on him than if the demon had actually emerged.

"I don't know," he said softly, opening his eyes with visible effort. He seemed content to stay exactly where he was.

Lucrecia glanced around the room, quickly judging the distance between them and the couch. It was only about ten feet, but given his condition it seemed like miles. She knew there was no way he would make it to their bedroom and didn't even consider it an option. "Let's try to get you over to the couch so you can lay down, okay? Then you can go to sleep for as long as you need to."

Vincent lifted his head and turned to follow her gaze, and after a moment she heard him sigh quietly. "It's too far. I'm so tired… weak. There is no way you can hold me up…"

Lucrecia laughed softly, so emotionally drained after the long, sleepless night that his words struck her as funny and she couldn't help herself. He turned to her and blinked, his expression puzzled before it changed to one of hurt. She quickly got control of herself and lifted one hand to his face, bringing him closer to her in way of apology.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't laughing _at_ you. It's just… after everything we just survived, we're not going to let ten feet of distance defeat us!" She was relieved when his lips twitched into the slightest attempt at a smile, and she leaned forward to press a tender kiss against them. "We're going to do this. I know we can manage if we work together."

"I don't want to hurt you… Gods, I already have! Did I injure yo-"

"Hush. Come on now, let's see if you can stand…"

Vincent frowned severely when Lucrecia removed herself from his arms and rose to her knees, draping his arm over her narrow shoulders. She dearly hoped he had some strength remaining, because she knew she could not possibly lift him on her own. He was lean but deceptively muscular, and had gained some much-needed weight since she'd returned to his life. He was also over six feet tall, and she was almost a foot shorter and slightly built. She had never been very strong or athletic, a book worm who preferred to spend her time in the library or curled up in bed with a novel. If he was not able to assist her at least a little, she knew they would be spending the night right where they were. Vincent might not have seemed to mind, but she knew it was not in his best interest.

"Lucrecia…" he complained, looking up at her almost pleadingly as she adjusted his arm around her and took a hold of the wrist of his prosthetic. He looked so pitiful, his hair trailing limply into his face and his normally piercing red eyes so dull and wary. She tried not to look down at the deep scars etched across his pale chest, each one telling the tale of his love and devotion for her, the bullet wound just beside his heart the most painful of all.

"Try to get your feet under you," she encouraged him, swallowing hard before the tears that filled her eyes had a chance to fall.

"Just leave me here… I have recovered in far worse places. Please… I will be fine."

Lucrecia grit her teeth and began attempting to get them both to their feet without his assistance. She rose to one knee and began pushing her back up against his arm, managing to lift him a few inches from the floor. She was so determined and frustrated that she found a strength she didn't know she had, and Vincent was forced to scramble to get his legs beneath him.

"I'm not… leaving you… on the floor!" she said through her teeth, able to climb onto both feet as she paused to allow him to adjust. It took every ounce of her strength to support him while he dragged his trembling legs beneath his body and slowly got to one knee. Once he got his balance Lucrecia finally took a deep breath, some of the weight she was supporting shifting to Vincent. He was still leaning against her heavily and shaking with the effort, his breathing once again labored, but at least he was trying and having some success.

After letting him rest for a moment, Lucrecia gathered all of her strength and forced her legs to push upward. Her muscles quivered and burned with protest, and Vincent's weight nearly pulled her over when he did nothing to lift himself after her. His eyes were closed and his expression was tight with concentration, and just when she was convinced they were both about to tumble back to the floor he slowly brought his other leg beneath him and shakily began to climb to his feet with her support.

A moment later they were standing together and leaning against the wall, his arm draped across her shoulders and hers wrapped around his waist. They were both struggling to catch their breath, and Vincent was shaking so badly Lucrecia was frightened he was going to collapse. She moved her body closer against his side, letting him lean against her as much as he could without pushing her over. His head dropped forward as his eyes closed, and he moaned quietly as a violent shudder ran through him.

"You're doing so well," Lucrecia told him, her voice strained with the effort of just keeping him on his feet. "We're almost there now."

"We haven't even… moved yet," he muttered, more aware than she thought he was.

"Must you always be so negative," she scolded him teasingly, smiling slightly when he opened his eyes and glanced at her with exasperation. "Are you ready to try walking over there?"

He shook his head and huffed, but after a pause she braced herself as he shakily lifted himself away from the wall and stood as best he could. Lucrecia stumbled as she placed herself beneath his body, his arm heavy across her shoulders. She thought of how easily he could pluck her off the ground and carry her across the room without any visible effort, struggling with all her might just to keep him from falling.

"I'm sorry…" he grunted, and she could feel how hard he was trying to keep his weight off of her as he took one tentative step forward. She was relieved when he successfully placed his foot and kept his balance, dragging the other one after it. She was momentarily distracted by how much larger even his bare feet were than hers as she took a careful step after him, clumsily keeping her body pressed against him in case he collapsed. She had a feeling it would do nothing but bring them both to the ground, but she was at least going to try to break his fall.

"Just concentrate on getting there," she told him, already exhausted but doing her best to sound positive. "I'm fine, baby, you're just a little heavy."

_Understatement of the year…_

They continued that way in silence, making slow but steady progress until they finally managed to reach the couch. As soon as they were close enough, Vincent collapsed onto his back and sank into the cushions, breathing hard and closing his eyes against the pain. Lucrecia dropped to her knees in front of him on the floor, exhausted and out of breath but full of relief and pride.

"We did it!" she exclaimed when she'd had a moment to catch her breath, reaching out to stroke his pale cheek. "I told you we could!"

Vincent only groaned in protest. He opened his eyes slightly as she gently lifted the arm he'd left hanging over the edge of the couch and placed it on his chest. One of his legs, too, was still dangling onto the floor, and with her assistance he lifted it to rest beside the other. He was just barely able to lay out flat, and Lucrecia was glad the battered old couch was long enough to accommodate his height. When she felt she had the energy, Lucrecia got back to her feet, studying him for a moment before deciding what to do next.

"I'll be right back," she told him. There was a momentary flash of panic in his eyes, but he quickly closed them again and said nothing. Lucrecia hated to leave his side even for a few minutes, but she wanted to make him as comfortable as possible. She went to their bedroom and retrieved a pillow and the comforter from their bed, setting them down by the door. She then went to his closet and removed a long sleeved gray shirt, because whether he was cold or not she knew Vincent did not like to have his chest exposed. She didn't want to add to his stress when he awoke without something to put on within easy reach. Lucrecia gathered the items in her arms and returned to the couch, watching as he opened his heavy eyelids with increasing effort.

"Here," she said, dropping to one knee with the pillow resting atop it. "Let me help you lift your head…" She gently slipped one hand behind his neck, easing his head away from the arm of the couch as he weakly did his best to assist. She placed the pillow beneath his head as quickly as she could before guiding him back down to it, smiling softly at the quiet sigh that escaped him. "There, how's that?"

"Better…"

She reached for the comforter and carefully spread it over him, tucking it in around his shivering body. When she was finished, she brushed a few stray strands of hair away from his face before placing a tender kiss on his forehead. It wasn't exactly their comfortable bed, but it wasn't the cold hard floor, either.

Satisfied, she made her way to their makeshift kitchen and retrieved two of the strong pain killers she had given him before from the cabinet. After removing a bottle of water from the refrigerator, she returned to Vincent and knelt down in front of the couch, lightly touching his cheek. His eyes were closed again and he was breathing deeply, and she thought he might have already fallen asleep. But he turned his head toward her and slowly opened them, a ghost of a smile crossing his lips as he met her eyes.

"Here… try to take this before you go to sleep," she told him, unable to help but run her fingers through his hair. She wanted so badly to touch him, to hold him while he rested and never let go, but there was no room for her to fit beside him on the couch. Vincent groaned at the thought of having to move, but gradually shifted onto one elbow and slowly lifted his head as she opened the bottle of water. She handed him the pills first and he obediently placed them in his mouth, then accepted the water and took a long drink. She held out her hand to take it back, but he raised it to his lips again and had soon finished the entire thing. She blinked in surprise as she took back the empty bottle and set it down on the coffee table beside the shirt she'd left there for him.

"Do you want another one?" she asked as he settled back onto his pillow. After a long pause, there was an almost imperceptible shake of his head. He watched her closely as if debating something, however, and Lucrecia waited patiently in case there was something else he needed.

"Thank you… for doing this," he finally whispered, looking up into her eyes and removing his right hand from beneath the blankets to reach out for her. She took his hand between both of hers and held it tightly, tears filling her eyes. He was looking at her with such love and devotion, tempered with shame and sorrow… It was a powerful and nearly overwhelming combination, and after everything they had just been through Lucrecia could only hope she was strong enough to handle it.

"You don't need to thank me, baby," she said, unable to hold back the tears. "I love you, and I'll always be here to take care of you."

He closed his eyes and sighed, a sound that was somewhere between contentment and regret. "I don't deserve-"

"None of that," she gently interrupted, shaking her head and removing one of her hands to tenderly caress his cheek. "Try to go to sleep now…"

He was fighting it so hard, his mind clear enough to remember what had happened and still frightened that she would not be there when he awakened. But he was exhausted, every ounce of energy spent, his eyelids so heavy they appeared to be weighed down. He squeezed her hand tightly, his eyes sliding shut as he managed to whisper his last quiet words.

"I love you, Lucrecia…"

Lucrecia remained kneeling on the floor, watching as Vincent finally fell asleep. The pain and tension was suddenly gone from his features, leaving behind a delicate innocence. He looked so young, so vulnerable… so peaceful. Even when he was relaxed, Vincent always appeared so guarded. When he was happy, a sorrow clung to him, a regret buried just behind his eyes. Lucrecia bit her lip to keep from sobbing with the knowledge that all of his pain was her fault. He had been the quiet, peaceful man sleeping before her until she hurt him. Part of her knew that he had already been deeply wounded when they met… They both had been. But it only made what she had done far worse. He had trusted her, confided in her, and she had betrayed him.

_Never again…_

Though she knew it was not going to be easy, and that there could well be many other nights like that one, Lucrecia swore that she would spend the rest of her life doing everything she could to make it up to him. She had already promised him that she would stay by his side, and she had meant it… but now she was even more dedicated to do whatever she had to to make the rest of his life as happy as possible. She wanted to take care of him, take responsibility for everything she had ever done wrong, and be there no matter how difficult things were. That was the reason she had been brought back to life and given another chance… and she was not going to waste it.

* * *

((**Author's Notes**: Oh hey, you made it to the end of the chapter! Me too. Over 13k words. *passes out* Definitely the longest one in the fic right there, and why not, as it is the finale before the epilogue. I finally decided to split it in half for those who needed potty breaks or who didn't have time to read almost 30 pages in one sitting, but this was indeed meant to be all one chapter. I apologize for the update delay, but I have been having severe issues with my migraines that nothing has helped. I also wanted the last chapter to be special and as close to perfect as possible. I worked on this every day for over a week and hope you all enjoyed it. Please take a moment and let me know what you thought if you wouldn't mind… it would really mean a lot to me. It's the last chapter after all, and second to last update for this story! I can't quite wrap my mind around that yet.

- **There will indeed be an epilogue**, so this is _not _the end just yet. There are still some loose ends to tie up between Vincent and Lucrecia, after all. Kind of an awkward 'morning after' coming up for them. We'll see how they handle things and if they can resolve their issues. Or at least start to.

- **If you have Facebook and haven't yet**, please check out my fanfiction page there! If you search for JenesisX, you should be able to find it. I post frequent updates on my writing progress and other stuff about myself, my AU, and Final Fantasy VII. Thanks for checking it out, and for sparing me a moment to drop me a review! Til next time… (Gah, last time I can say that here!) _~ JenesisX _))


	31. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Pain. So much pain. It reached through the enveloping blackness and grabbed a hold of his mind, refusing to relinquish its grasp. The comforting darkness shattered, he slowly floated toward consciousness, the pain only increasing as his brain became aware of his body. Everything hurt and felt so heavy, and he could not even summon the strength to open his eyes. A brief surge of panic raced through his veins as he tried to make sense of his condition, still groggy from sleep. And then suddenly, he knew.

_Chaos. _

All at once the memories came rushing back, and Vincent found himself hoping he was dead. Perhaps that was why he was so cold and could not move. Maybe this was the pain of death finally come to take him, to remove such a foul being from the face of the Planet once and for all. It was preferable to going on after what he had done…

His hopes were quickly dashed as he continued to awaken, his heightened senses coming to life as his mind continued to clear. He was lying somewhere cramped but fairly comfortable, something warm and soft covering him from just below his neck. At first his mind was a blank, but slowly the pieces fell into place. He vaguely recalled Lucrecia helping him to the couch before he passed out, amazed at her strength and bravery. And stupidity. She had put herself in such danger, and every second was his fault. At least by now she was gone, and it would never happen again. He had finally lost control… and lost Lucrecia for good.

It was dark in the room, but there was a small light burning at the far end of the couch. His bare feet were propped up on something warm, and there was a gentle weight pressing down against them. It was odd, but his tired mind couldn't make sense of it through the haze of pain and anguish. There was a quiet scratching sound every now and then only someone with his sensitive ears would have noticed, and he cursed Hojo yet again for his alterations.

_Now I have only the rats left for company…_

The sharp stab of pain in Vincent's chest had nothing to do with his long battle with Chaos, and he longed to rise to his knees and howl with despair. Lucrecia had returned to his life only to be taken away again. No, to be chased away, _frightened _away… How could he ever have expected her to be able to accept him? He had been a fool, blinded by a desperate hope fueled by his love for her. Every moment in his presence was a danger, just as Hojo intended. No one could ever love him again. Lucrecia had tried her best, tried so hard, and he would not blame her for leaving. At least this time she had been his and his alone, and she had known exactly how he felt. The past two months had been the happiest of his life. He would cherish those memories and take them to his grave, safe in his heart forever. Hopefully, that would be soon…

Vincent was considering opening his eyes when whatever it was his feet were resting on shifted slightly. He frowned, somewhat relieved to realized that he could at least move his facial muscles. His instincts flaring to life, he cautiously cracked open one eye but made no other movement. What he saw made no sense at first, his vision blurry and his brain still slow to process, but when the fog finally cleared he was so shocked it took all of his self-control to remain still.

Lucrecia. His Lucrecia. _No, not any more_…

Then why was she sitting at the end of the couch with his feet in her lap as if it was the most normal of things to be doing? She had a notebook balanced on top of the blanket covering him, a pen held in her left hand and a look of intense concentration on her face. _Gods_ he loved that look…

Vincent remained completely still and watched her with half-lidded eyes, instantly warmed by his love for her. She was so beautiful when she was deep in thought, her glasses sliding down her nose as she pursed her lips and studied the page in front of her. She cocked her head ever so slightly, several soft strands of hair trailing into her face. He longed to reach out and brush them away, to place his hand beneath her chin and turn her face his way. But he no longer deserved her attention, if indeed he ever had. Lucrecia briefly raised the pen to her lips, holding it there but not chewing on it. Then her green eyes lit up and she lowered pen to paper, creating the scratching sound he'd heard before as she hastily scrawled something in the sloppy handwriting Vincent had always struggled to read.

It was amazing how watching such a simple act could make him want her so badly, need to reach out and crush her against him in a possessive embrace. But he quickly pushed those thoughts away, the memories of what she had seen reminding him that that part of his life was over. He had been given a second chance, and the door had been slammed shut in his face by his own twisted hand. Lucrecia had finally seen him for the monster he was, and worse still, he had laid his hands upon her. He had always sworn to her that was something he would never do. It was part of what set him apart from Hojo. She could always feel safe with him, trust him not to hurt her… and that promise had been shattered like so much broken glass. He was no better than the man she had fled…

As tempting as it was to go back to sleep, his entire body exhausted and on fire with pain, Vincent knew he would never find rest until that question was answered. He was terrified of what she might say even though he already knew he had destroyed their relationship, but to hear it from her lips would be devastating. She had denied it the night before, but he knew it was because he was suffering and she did not wish to be cruel. She was so kind, so good to him… she deserved so much better. He hoped she would finally find someone who would treat her like the amazing, wonderful woman she was. The agony he felt at the very idea of his Lucrecia in the arms of another man was nearly unbearable, and he could not help but groan aloud.

Lucrecia gasped, almost dropping her pen as her head jerked in his direction. Her eyes widened in surprise, but a moment later a soft smile graced her lips. Vincent could only stare at her, wondering what there was to be happy about. She reached up to push her glasses back up onto the bridge of her nose, setting the pen down in her lap and softly running one hand along the blanket covering his legs. Even such light, indirect contact had an instant effect upon him because it came from her.

"Hey," she said softly, still sharing that soft, shy smile that had the power to break through all of his defenses as if they did not exist. "I'm so glad you're awake."

Vincent allowed himself to meet her eyes, swallowing hard against the rush of emotions racing through his veins. This was going to be so hard… He loved her so deeply, with everything he was, but he was going to let her go for exactly that reason. He would not fight or plead with her to stay. He wanted her to be safe, happy… and he could not give her that. He found he could not speak, staring at her helplessly and wishing he could hold her one last time. But it wouldn't be right. He closed his eyes and tried to push down his desires, and when he opened them again he found Lucrecia frowning with concern.

"You slept a long time… It's nearly ten at night now, and you fell asleep around five this morning. How do you feel?" she asked. One delicate hand had come to rest on his calf, gripping it nervously as she spoke… or perhaps to help focus his attention.

Vincent tried to speak, but all that came out was a strangled gasp. He focused all of his energy and cleared his throat before trying again, and this time he managed a rasping whisper. "Like hell."

Lucrecia's frown deepened, and he swore there were tears shining in her eyes. "I'm so sorry, baby…"

Now Vincent frowned, confused and almost angry. Why was she toying with him like this? He had accepted that she was going to leave. He would always love her, but he didn't think it proper that she continue to call him that. She was the only one who had ever used such a name for him, the only woman to ever know him that way. It brought up so many intimate memories that the word tore at his soul the way Hojo had once torn apart his body. He grit his teeth, his hand and claw tightening into fists. She turned away from his harsh expression as if unsure of what she'd done wrong, gripping her notepad tightly against her body. Vincent focused his eyes upon it, desperate for a distraction.

"What is that?" he asked, his voice still rough but stronger than before.

Lucrecia went still, slowly lowering the notepad to rest against his legs in her lap. She took a deep breath as if gathering her courage, but when she turned back to him that same wonderful smile lit up her face.

"I'm making a list of people to invite to our wedding."

"….."

Vincent was thunderstruck, blinking rapidly as he stared at the only woman he had ever loved. The smile he adored touched her emerald eyes and made them sparkle, and he had never seen anyone look so utterly _happy_ in his life. Gods, she was serious… but how? She had witnessed him fighting the transformation, watched as Chaos' wings burst forth from his back and seen him crawl across the floor weak and defeated, moaning and trembling like a child. He had yelled at her, _shoved_ her… Lucrecia had only further proven that she was far too good for him by remaining by his side and taking care of him until he fell asleep, and she even stayed while he slept. And now… _No_, this couldn't be.

"Vincent…?"

Lucrecia's voice was soft and timid, her smile having faded into an expression of concern. Vincent swallowed hard and fought to find his voice, though he still had no idea what to say. But his lover clearly needed him to respond, chewing on her bottom lip and beginning to fidget. He would not leave her to suffer in silence.

"I… I don't understand."

"We've been engaged since the day after I got here," Lucrecia said, setting the pen and pad down on the arm of the couch and beginning to wring her hands atop his legs. She stared down at them, the joy in her eyes replaced by worry. The guilt hit him hard, and he wished he felt able to sit up and wrap his arms around her.

"Yes…" he agreed. He'd never quite gotten over the shock of hearing her say yes when he finally got the chance to ask her to marry him. His eyes fixed upon the ring on her left index finger, one he had carried with him for over three decades. The sight of it on her hand made his chest grow tight. How could he ever let her go?

"I know it's only been a few months, but we've known each other a very long time. I don't want to waste any more time, Vincent," Lucrecia said, pausing and lifting her head to offer him a shy smile he could feel in his toes. "I… I want to be your wife as soon as possible."

"Lucrecia…"

Vincent struggled to pull his tired and aching body up from the cushions, carefully removing his long legs from Lucrecia's lap. He grit his teeth against the pain as he finally managed to sit after much effort, waving away his lover's attempts to aid him. He leaned heavily against the back of the couch, left breathless and hurting in every cell of his being. Once he was upright, he closed his eyes and focused on calming his body, determined to remain that way. Even though he could no longer see it, he felt the world around him continue to spin as he fought a wave of nausea. He was relieved that Chaos was silent inside his mind, sated for the moment even though he had not been allowed his release. Perhaps the long battle and chance to make him suffer had been enjoyment enough for the demon. Vincent knew the peace would not last, but for now the creature was blessedly far beneath the surface.

He could feel Lucrecia's eyes upon him as he rested against the back of the couch, but couldn't bring himself to look at her. He shivered, suddenly painfully aware of the fact that he was shirtless. He raised his arms and wrapped them around himself, the blanket tucked around his lower body. Even when he was not struggling against the demon, when he was 'normal,' he felt so disfigured, so ugly, that it killed him for her to look at him. She was beautiful, so perfect. How could she gaze upon the horrific scars carved into his unnaturally pale flesh and see anything but a hideous freak? How could she still want him? When she laid her head upon his chest, did she not hear how seldom he breathed, and the slow, inhuman beating of his heart? When she caressed him, did she not notice the coolness of his skin and the distinctive feel of so many disfigurements?

Vincent stared down at the clawed prosthetic that had replaced his left forearm and hand, his vision blurring. The scent of blood assaulted his senses, the warmth of the cushions against his back warping into the cold metal of an operating table. _The roar of a surgical saw… familiar mocking laughter… blinding white agony…_ Vincent reached out with his right hand and gripped the place where metal joined flesh, moaning quietly as his eyes lost their focused. His entire body began to tremble, his mind locked over thirty years in the past.

"Here, baby… I know you're hurting."

Vincent jumped, jolted from his vision by Lucrecia's voice. He blinked rapidly and lifted his head, finding her standing before him with a bottle of water in one hand and two round white pills in the other. When had she gotten up? He frowned, disgusted with himself for his weakness. Sometimes the strange waking nightmares were worse than the ones that haunted his dreams... He slowly released his grip on his left forearm, still able to feel a burning below the point of amputation. It was less intense now but there all the same, as if the mockery of a limb could somehow still feel. Vincent swallowed hard as Lucrecia sat down beside him, closer than he felt comfortable with. He accepted the pills without question, in too much pain to resist. He needed to be able to think clearly enough to deal with the situation. She removed the cap from the bottle of water for him, and Vincent suddenly realized just how thirsty he was. He practically grabbed it from her small hands and washed down the pills with the entire thing, barely stopping to breathe.

"Thank you," he said, handing back the empty bottle for her to set on the coffee table. He did not know why she insisted on continuing to care for him. He shivered, attempting to pull the blanket up to cover his chest. He saw Lucrecia's eyes fall upon him and lowered his eyes in shame.

"Are you cold?" she asked, reaching out and placing a gentle hand on his bare shoulder. Vincent tensed, her touch burning into his flesh. It warmed him to the core, but he dared not let himself enjoy it.

"A bit," he said. It was not entirely a lie, though he rarely experienced physical cold. The chill he felt came from inside, and he did not know if anything could ever chase it away again.

"Here… I brought you a shirt in case you wanted it when you woke up," Lucrecia said, leaning forward to retrieve a folded gray garment from the coffee table. "I know how much you don't like to be…" She frowned, her cheeks coloring red as she stopped in mid sentence and sighed quietly. "I wish you could see yourself the way I do."

Vincent stared at her wordlessly as he accepted the long-sleeved shirt, quickly slipping it over his head. The left sleeve had been neatly slit up the inside past the elbow to accommodate his prosthetic, and he instantly felt more secure with his body covered. "I know how I look, Lucrecia," he said flatly, reaching up with his right hand to brush his hair out of his eyes as he leaned back against the cushions. "I know what I am."

He watched as tears filled her captivating emerald eyes, his insides twisted with guilt as he fought the strong urge to reach out and comfort her. She wouldn't want that from him, though, not any more. He had hurt her and given up his right to touch her. His eyes followed the tears as they began to fall from her eyes, his heart nearly ripped in two when she choked back a sob.

"But you're wrong, Vincent… so very wrong," she nearly whispered, shoving the blanket onto the floor to remove the barrier between them. To his complete surprise, she moved closer until her body was pressed against his side. He froze, his eyes meeting hers and holding a question. He felt his heart rate increase as his body responded to her presence, a precious gift she had given him with her return. When he'd stepped out of his coffin in Nibelheim, he had never thought he could _feel _again, his body as dead as his heart. But she had shown him otherwise, perhaps a little too well.

He almost forgot to breathe as she reached out and tenderly ran her hand along his cheek. His eyes lolled closed as he involuntarily leaned into her touch. He had always been helpless against her affections, melting in her hands for her to do with as she wished. It made it so easy to forget his troubles, to simply be with her and enjoy how much he loved her. They had done so for much of their relationship, both past and present, avoiding their pain while tangled up in each other's intimate embrace. So tempting…

"Vincent, please say something…"

He slowly opened his eyes and met hers. In that moment he felt as if everything else ceased to exist, leaving only the two of them. There was such love and devotion in her eyes, acceptance and need… all of it directed at him. It was nearly overwhelming, and he knew his own feelings were just as clear and honest. Lucrecia's hand against his cheek helped to keep him grounded, and his desire to reach out to her only grew stronger.

"I… how can you still want to go through with it?" he finally managed to ask, his voice little more than a whisper. It hurt so badly to ask, but he knew he had to.

Lucrecia looked puzzled for a moment, then suddenly realized what he meant. She leaned forward until her forehead was resting against his, and Vincent's breath caught in his throat. This was torture. "Because I love you, baby… and us getting married is long overdue. Don't… don't you still want to?"

She leaned back so she could look into his eyes, lifting her other hand to frame his face. Vincent's emotions raced through his battered and exhausted body, volatile and confused. He had been so sure she was going to leave… so certain he had finally destroyed what they had and lost her forever. Yet there she was, touching him, caring for him, and pledging her love. _Forever_. It made no sense to his tired mind and he moaned against the pain. The pills had eased the worse of the ache in his bones, but the torment in his mind remained as sharp as the instruments that had scarred his body.

"I… yes, but…" He sighed heavily, his eyes searching hers for some trace of fear or revulsion. _Nothing_. "You saw… I…"

He couldn't go on, unable to speak the words. It was too painful, too humiliating. She had actually seen him with _wings_ for gods' sake, not to mention the way he'd acted. He would never forgive himself for how he'd spoken to her, and the memory of shoving her to the floor would live in his mind forever. One more sin to stain his blackened soul…

"Vincent, it's all right," she said softly, moving one of her hands to softly brush back some of his hair. He assumed it must have been a mess and wished for his bandana or even a hair tie. "You did warn me, but I _wanted_ to be there for you. You were so strong to be able to fight Chaos the way you did, and you _won_. I'm proud of you, baby. So proud… You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of."

Vincent's eyes widened, and he jerked his face away from her touch. "How can you _say_ that?!" he exclaimed, his voice rough as he stared at her in disbelief. "I'm a freak, Lucrecia. A monster! You went to bed feeling safe with me, and you woke up beside a _demon!_"

"Shhh, it's okay," she tried to soothe him, reaching out as he shifted farther across the couch to avoid her. "You are _not_ a-"

"It is not safe for you here," he interrupted, holding up a hand to stop her. "I _hurt_ you, Lucrecia… I put my hands on you in anger. I am no better than Hojo."

"_NO! _Don't you _ever_ say that again!" Lucrecia exclaimed, throwing herself into his arms so suddenly that Vincent didn't have time to react. The contact was nearly violent with its desperation, full of need and raw emotion. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face against his neck, trembling as she burst into tears. Stunned, he closed his eyes and slowly raised his right arm to her back, lightly resting it against her as she cried. "You're nothing like him, Vincent," she whispered, her breath warm against his skin. "Nothing…"

Vincent was unsure of what to do as she clung to him, gradually allowing himself to tighten his embrace and hold her closer. She had initiated the contact, after all. He gently ran his hand along her back, doing his best to comfort her. When she eventually raised her head and sniffed away the last of her tears, she brought her face close to his and nuzzled against his cheek, setting his heart aflame. He was unable to help but give in to a quiet sigh of contentment, though he instantly felt guilty for the indulgence.

"You can't stay here," he whispered, going against every wish of his mind and body. Even as he spoke the words, he brought his natural hand up to run through her hair, coming to rest at the base of her neck. He felt her shiver and tried his best to ignore it. "I cannot risk hurting you again. I came far too close…"

"You would never hurt me," she insisted, placing one hand over his heart as she leaned in and softly kissed his lips. It took all of Vincent self-control not to pull her closer and deepen the kiss, tempted to forget all about nightmares and demons. "I'm fine, baby. You were strong enough to fight it… and even when I met Chaos he didn't hurt me, remember?"

Vincent forced himself to put a bit of distance between them so he could think more clearly, though he kept his hand on her shoulder as if frightened she might go too far. He was no longer quite so certain he could watch her walk away. "I hardly feel comfortable relying on that. This is not right. You… you should have so much better than this. I cannot give you the life you deserve." He was suddenly very aware of their damp, dusty basement dwelling, ashamed that he had not tried harder, done more…

"Vincent, you are giving me the life I _want_. Because what I want is you."

'_You didn't even want me when I was normal!'_

Vincent stared at her wordlessly as his tormented words came rushing back, shouted at the one he loved in a moment of misery and weakness. His deepest pain, an intense fear and… yes, _anger _that had burned inside him like a poison for over three decades. The thing he had fought so hard to hold back and deny for so long, finally bursting forth in one moment of despair. He instantly felt nauseous and revolted, lowering his eyes and struggling to breathe. His vision blurred as his mind was rocketed back to the night Lucrecia told him she'd decided she couldn't leave with him after all… that she'd decided to remain with Hojo and go through with the completion of the experiment. She said she loved him deeply, but her decision was final… and with it, she had chosen death.

Vincent leaned forward and took his face in his hands, trembling violently as the memories assaulted him. It was so sudden, so powerful, that he was left completely vulnerable to the rush of emotions, his wounded heart exposed. A loud ringing filled his ears and he closed his eyes against the pain, hot tears streaming down his cheeks as he recalled the night she died with startling clarity. He saw himself sitting at the table in his room, methodically loading his duty weapon in the moonlight. One was meant for Hojo, another for himself… but he never got the chance to fire his weapon. His grief, his _rage_, had been all-consuming, and all of his training as a Turk had failed him. Outmaneuvered by a nearsighted scientist, failed to keep his promise to protect Lucrecia's son, sentenced to be tortured and twisted into a vile monstrosity.

He was vaguely aware of Lucrecia's arms wrapping around his trembling form, her head coming to rest on his shoulder. He normally would have been embarrassed by the open display of emotion, but he was past caring. As the images ran through his mind again and again, he felt something begin to build inside him, an unbearable pressure in the core of his being. It was different from the guilt and despair that had become a part of his identity, a burning deep in his gut like an acid eating away at him until there was nothing else left. And it had been there for a very long time…

Vincent lowered his hands, the tears nearly dried on his pale cheeks as he turned his head to face Lucrecia. She had been crying, too, her green eyes full of sorrow and compassion. She reached out and touched his cheek, but this time it brought him no pleasure. He closed his eyes and frowned, a knife in his heart as he forced himself to ask the question that had silently plagued him for over thirty years.

"How could you _do_ that to me…?"

He almost didn't recognize his own voice, hearing the pain, resentment, and anger in his tone for the first time. He had always denied those feelings, refusing to believe they existed. He could never be angry at Lucrecia! She had done no wrong. She had been a victim of Hojo, and of his failure to protect her. She should hate _him_, but she continued to pledge her love. Yet in the past, when given a choice between he and another… a choice that would have saved her, given Sephiroth a chance at a normal life, and preserved his very humanity… she had turned him away. Vincent grit his teeth, the familiar presence of Chaos brushing against his thoughts. _Yes_, he was angry, and maybe… maybe he ought to be…

Lucrecia's eyes locked onto his, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. But she did not look away, taking a deep breath and steeling herself against his bitter words. He could see how much they hurt her, cursing himself and wishing even more suffering upon his soul. He could never repent for everything he had done to her, and even now he continued to bring her pain. The agony he had endured resisting the last transformation did not even come close to helping him atone. What right did he have, then, to be angry? He had only gotten what he deserved…

Vincent hung his head and pulled away from her, retreating to the farthest end of the couch. He was ashamed of his words, yet frightened by the truth behind them. He couldn't face the things he saw in Lucrecia's eyes, and he certainly did not deserve her touch or comfort. "I'm sorry," he whispered, wishing he could take those words back and shove them far down again where they couldn't hurt her. They should have remained his burden alone. "I didn't mean-"

"No, wait! I'm… I'm so glad to hear you say that."

"… what?"

He glanced up at her through the curtain of his bangs, his arms crossed over his chest as if to guard his heart. A sad smile graced her lips, her eyes seeking out his. So many emotions passed between them, so much love and pain, enough to fill a lifetime. He tried to look away but couldn't.

"You've never… expressed any anger toward me about what I did to you, Vincent. I knew it had to be there, but you didn't want me to know… or maybe you were hiding it even from your self."

"No! I'm not angry with you!" he protested, his heart in his throat. Panic rose within him and he felt trapped within her gaze, his eyes darting about wildly. He hugged himself more tightly, pressing his spine painfully into the arm of the couch. He wished to be anywhere else on the Planet, but he was cornered. "I could never be-"

"Baby, it's okay," she said, her expression tearful yet understanding. "You _should_ be mad at me! I think being able to finally express that is a big step…"

Vincent remained tense but slowly brought his eyes back to hers, trying to breathe evenly.

"Then… then why?" he whispered, feeling like a frightened child. Part of him longed for the warmth of her body even as the acid remained in the pit of his stomach, the memory of her back as she walked out his door flashing through his mind. Their illicit relationship had endured and his love for her had not changed, but the pain of her rejection was ever present. As Vincent gazed into her eyes, he felt it as strongly as he had thirty years before. He closed his eyes as if to shut it out, shivering and allowing his hair to form a shield of black around his face.

"I've tried to explain before, but you didn't believe me," Lucrecia said, he voice gentle but firm. She made no move to approach him, and he was not sure if he was grateful or worried. "The reason I… chose not to leave with you had nothing to do with _you_, Vincent, or anything you did or didn't do. It wasn't because you weren't good enough, or because I didn't love you enough, or because of any of those things you keep telling yourself. You need to stop blaming yourself for what happened, because none of it was your fault. You're right to be angry… I couldn't go through with it because of _me_."

Vincent shook his head, having heard her speak the same words the night she'd suddenly arrived in Junon Harbor. He had been so desperate to believe her, so shocked by her arrival and so pathetically needy. The words had eased his pain for a while, but the wound remained just beneath the surface, slowly eating away at him and feeding Chaos until he had been worn down and overwhelmed. Why could he not simply be happy to have her back and forget about the past? Why was nothing ever easy for him? Was he truly cursed as his mother had always told him?

"_Listen_ to me, Vincent," Lucrecia said, the slightest hint of frustration creeping into her voice. "You know the way I was back then… I was so unsure of myself, so depressed, and the only thing I'd ever been any good at was my work. And… and I was so confused about how I felt, what I wanted. Hojo had me so that I thought I was incapable of thinking for myself, and I was afraid of him. I was weak, stupid, and _cowardly_, and I will regret that for the rest of my life! I'm not trying to make excuses for myself, Vincent. I take complete responsibility for everything I did to you, and to our son." Her voice broke and she paused, choking back a sob.

Vincent grew painfully tense, recoiling at the sound. He was hurt and angry for himself, for Sephiroth, and for her… and he felt completely helpless to do a thing about it.

"Vincent…?"

"What?" he answered, his voice cold and gruff. He hated himself so intensely at that moment that he fully understood why she had rejected him. If she had any sense, she would get up and walk out the door again.

"Please look at me… Tell me how you feel."

All he wanted was to go someplace safe and quiet where he could escape the raging emotions inside his head. It should have been preferable to do so with Lucrecia by his side, but he suddenly felt so uneasy, so shaken, that he wanted to be alone. He could feel her eyes burning into him, and after all she had done for him he knew he owed her at least that much. His love for her would always win out over all else. He took a moment to collect himself and slowly raised his head, tossing his hair back over his shoulder. Much of it rebelled and hung into his eyes, but he hardly noticed. He kept his arms folded across his chest, his posture rigid. Lucrecia had not come any closer, the look in her eyes so worried and distraught that it was difficult to do as she asked. But he forced himself to steadily meet her gaze, swallowing hard before finding his voice.

"I… understand why you made your decision," he said, and suddenly he was a young Turk again, seated next to his pregnant lover and fighting to maintain his composure. "But it does not make it hurt any less."

"I know," she whispered, a single tear trailing down her cheek. She finally dared to move within arm's reach, though she was careful not to touch him. "I am so sorry for that… I wish there was something I could do to take it away."

"Your being here now… it helps," Vincent said, wishing he was better at expressing himself. There had never been a bigger understatement, and he hoped she understood. "It helps more than you know."

A smile tugged at the corner of her lips. "I'm glad. That's all I want, baby. I just want to make you happy. I want to spend the rest of my life with you making up for lost time, doing everything I can for you… I just wish you would relax and let me."

"It's… difficult," he said, lowering his eyes to his lap. "To believe you could really want to be with me now when…" He shook his head and exhaled sharply, frowning severely. "And even if you do, it isn't safe. I don't deserve-"

"Leave it up to me to decide what you deserve, all right?" Lucrecia said, sliding across the cushions until she was pressed against him. Vincent grew tense, but when she reached out and ran her hand along his pale cheek and through his hair he melted into her touch. "I want to be with you, and you can't talk me out of it."

"You shouldn't be with someone like me," he continued to protest, his eyes dropping to his prosthetic. He absently flexed the claws that had replaced the fingers of his left hand, a dizzying feeling washing over him. He could make them move the same as the digits of his remaining hand, yet even after using them for over a year it still didn't feel as if they belonged to him. They were attached to his body, controlled by signals sent from his brain, but he couldn't feel a thing. It was disconcerting and always left him feeling ill and disconnected, and he quickly looked away. "I'm a- no, Lucrecia, please don't do that…"

Lucrecia had reached out and taken a gentle hold of his forearm, almost cradling it in her lap as if it was a delicate treasure instead of the vile mockery of a limb he despised. His first instinct was to yank it away, but he feared hurting her and remained frozen in place. He wanted to avert his eyes but could only stare in horror as she gently pushed up his sleeve and ran the fingers of one hand along the length of the gold metal. She knew he couldn't feel what she was doing… yet she was behaving as if he could. It was strange at first, and all he wanted to do was make her stop and take back his arm so he could hide it against his body. She had touched his prosthetic before, but he had never allowed her to study it so closely, or keep a hold of it for so long. It made him extremely uneasy, and he had the illogical fear that she was going to hurt him somehow. But as she continued, turning his wrist over gently between her hands so she could rest her palm against that of the cool metal, he found himself slowly beginning to relax. She was so gentle, yet without hesitation or fear, and when he dared look up and meet her eyes he saw something there he never expected to experience again… acceptance.

"I just want you to know that you can trust me," she said, her eyes nearly pleading with him. "I know I need to earn it… but I'll never stop trying."

He wanted to tell her that he _did_ trust her, that she didn't have to try. But he knew he would be kidding himself, and that she knew it, too. He trusted her more than he had ever trusted anyone in his life… but not the way he used to. It killed him to admit, but he was no longer the young man he'd once been, and their relationship had been forever changed by her decision. When one had been tortured so cruelly and joined with a demon whose thoughts were often violent and disturbing, trusting others was not something that came easily. Vincent had not had the best foundation on which to build trust to begin with, but before his alterations Lucrecia had managed to reach him. He had trusted her with his heart, something he had never done before… and perhaps he'd trusted her too much. Had she taken advantage of his desperate need for her, his desire to have someone who finally cared for him and saw him for who he was? Or had she loved and needed him just as badly and simply made a fatal mistake because she'd been wounded, too?

"We have time," he said, reaching out with his free hand to caress her cheek. He needed so badly to believe his own words, that time would heal the pain… that eventually, he would forget the way she'd hurt him and see only their love when he looked in her eyes. Then perhaps his dreams would be filled with only happy memories, and he could finally find some peace. Maybe he would grow strong enough to control Chaos better so he could try to be the man she deserved…

"Do you believe me when I tell you I won't leave you, that this is forever? That nothing will ever come between us again?" Lucrecia asked, releasing his forearm and bringing both hands up to frame his face. She leaned in close and gazed deep into his eyes, searching his soul. Her body grew still and he could hear her breath catch as her heart rate increased. Her hands against his face began to tremble ever so slightly, and Vincent knew his answer was deeply important to her, perhaps more important than anything had ever been. He swallowed hard, lost in her emerald eyes, his love for her almost overwhelming.

"Yes," he said, his deep voice quiet as he held her gaze. "Of course I do."

Even as he leaned forward and kissed her with all of his love and need threatening to drown out coherent thought, a voice in the back of his mind told him that one day, she would realize she was being foolish. She could do so much better. He was a scarred and disfigured failure at best, a foul demon endangering her safety at worst, and there was no way he could ever expect her to remain. But he would hold her and love her for as long as he was blessed by her presence, and when the time came he would let her go. His arms snaked around her possessively as he deepened the kiss, desperate to convince her to stay with him as long as possible. He may not have deserved her, but no one would ever love her more.

Lucrecia suddenly broke away, breathlessly leaning back and studying him closely. Though her cheeks were flushed with passion her eyes were almost sad, lips forming a thin line as her expression turned serious. He watched her with confusion, blinking and wondering what he had done wrong. She reached up and brushed a strand of hair from in front of his eyes, sighing wistfully before she spoke.

"You still don't believe me, do you…"

It was not a question, and Vincent instantly lowered his gaze in shame. Somehow she had read his mind, searching out the insecurities still locked inside his heart. "Yes I do," he argued weakly, raising his eyes and forcing what he hoped was a confident expression onto his face. He kept his arms locked around her, terrified that she was about to get up and leave in disgust.

Lucrecia frowned and shook her head, her warm hands still cradling his face. "I wish I could convince you," she whispered, tears in her eyes. "I don't want you to worry about that any more. I'm _never_ going to leave you, baby. I thought after everything we just went though, you would finally believe… I wish there was something I could do to show you that-"

She stopped abruptly, her eyes widening slightly and losing their focus the way they did when a particularly brilliant idea suddenly crossed her mind. He had seen that look many times, usually in the lab decades before, but he'd always found it endearing. He wondered what she was thinking, about to ask when she suddenly dropped her hands from his face.

Vincent watched in stunned fascination as Lucrecia quietly slipped from the couch onto the floor, positioning herself on her knees in front of him. She smiled up at his curious expression before reaching out for his hands. He gave them to her without question, allowing her to thread her much smaller fingers through his right hand while gently taking a hold of his left. She gazed up at him with love shining in her emerald eyes, her smile almost serene. She had never looked more beautiful in his eyes than she did at that moment, hair slightly tousled, a slight blush in her cheeks.

"The hell with planning a wedding," Lucrecia said, almost breathless. Her smile widened ever so slightly to punctuate her sentence, but Vincent only frowned. Was she changing her mind already? Had she not just told him that he needed to learn to trust her? He was so busy worrying that he nearly missed her next words. "Run away with me, Vincent."

"I… I'm sorry?"

"I don't want to wait any more. As soon as you feel better, let's get married. We'll just pack a bag and go, just you and me. I don't even care where. All I want is for us to be married… the way it always should have been."

Vincent's brain finally caught up with her excited words, almost as surprised as he'd been when she'd suddenly appeared in his bedroom. He gazed down into her eyes and blinked, and she laughed at his dazed expression. She started to look a bit concerned when he failed to reply as a full minute ticked by, however, staring down at his hands held in hers. He wanted this so badly, wanted to tell her yes, but fear held him back. Was she only suggesting they do this out of pity? What if he failed as a husband and made her miserable? Did someone like him even deserve to be married?

As the troubling thoughts raced through his mind, he caught sight of his lover's engagement ring shining against the metal of his left hand. He stared at the image hard for a moment, and a sudden thought slammed into his mind that made him so nauseous he had to swallow hard against the urge to vomit. He closed his eyes, shaking his head miserably. Had that bastard done it on purpose when deciding which forearm to amputate? Vincent was right handed, after all, and removing his gun hand would have been far more devastating. Was it some kind of sick joke, revenge wrought for interfering in his own marriage… or just further assurance he could never have the love he longed for?

"I can't even wear a wedding band…"

Vincent opened his eyes and looked down at her, prepared to see the disappointment in her eyes. Even in something as simple and as _normal_ as this, he was a failure. He was going to let her down before they even got started.

"Oh, Vincent…" Lucrecia's expression briefly fell and she almost gave in to tears, but she fought them back and bravely maintained eye contact. "Is there a law that says we can't wear them on our right hands? It makes no difference to me, so that's what we'll do."

She made the statement so firmly that he knew it was not up for debate, so he didn't even try. A slight smile fought its way free at the corners of his mouth, and he was proud of her as he saw the confidence shining in her eyes. She really _had_ changed since her arrival… She had grown stronger, less shy, more sure of herself. She was learning to make decisions, to express her desires, yet she was still so focused on making him happy. In many ways it was she who had crossed the boundaries between them when she first arrived, slowly drawing him out of the isolation he'd imprisoned himself within. On their first night together he had been so self conscious and embarrassed about his body, but she'd comforted him and moved right past it as if nothing had changed. She took each new quirk and habit she witnessed in stride, and though things were awkward at times and far from perfect, she had helped Vincent relax and accept that it was all right to let down his guard, that he really could still love and touch and share his life with her. She had stayed by his side and witnessed a near-transformation, looked Chaos in the eye and somehow still treated him with love and tenderness and trust… How did she _do_ that?

"You're amazing," he whispered, lifting his right hand to run through her hair. He finally did smile, a full, genuine one that almost hurt in its strangeness. Lucrecia's eyes lit up, and this time she allowed the tears to spill down her cheeks. For once he felt no guilt, because he knew they were tears of joy.

"Then say yes," she said, her smile only growing wider. "Run away with me, Vincent. I promise you won't regret it."

This time, there was no need to pause and think before he answered.

"Yes."

_**~ The End ~**_

* * *

*** The next story in this series is _Internal Warfare_. So head on over there to continue the adventure :)**

((**Author's Notes**: All finished. Wow. That's definitely a bittersweet feeling right there. I started this story last April, and it is the longest fic I have completed since _Irony of Fate _(I finished that one in 2001!). I definitely shed a few tears, and am kind of in shock as I write this. I think the ending itself is bittersweet, too. There is no "everything is great now!" for these two, and there may never be. I am not going to be one of those who suddenly removes all of Vincent's issues and makes him into a normal guy like so many post-DoC fics I see (Wait, what's a DoC? ;) ). But anyway… while their problems are not completely resolved, they are beginning to address them better, and it seems they are about to have themselves a bit of a vacation.

- I, however, will not be taking a vacation simply because I have finished this story. It may be a couple weeks, but it won't be long before _Internal Warfare _goes live. That's the next fic in my series, and it will continue my main AU plotline. Vincent is very heavily involved in the story, and you will definitely see what happened after things ended here. It'll be a little more action oriented but still highly focused on character development and their relationships, and you'll be seeing more of the other characters, too. (I'd say the _main_ players as of right now are Vincent, the Turks, Sephiroth/Aeris, and Yuffie). Please feel free to Follow me here to be sure you don't miss it when I publish the first chapter, or come like me on Facebook for updates. The link is in my profile, or you can just look up JenesisX.

- Other things I'm actively working on include my Tseng and Elena fic, _Closing the Distance_. I also have my new series _Behind the Scenes _you can check out, and I occasionally update _Life's Little Challenges _when I get a good random word to go with. I'm going to work on getting some website content ready and hopefully posted before _Internal Warfare _goes live, so the summaries of my previous fics are available for anyone who would like a refresher course. That link will be in my profile and shared on Facebook when ready. I have been putting that off, it isn't the most interesting work, hehe. The site will be pretty cool when I get it together, though, and my beta has made it look really awesome.

- Before I go, I would like to take a moment to thank my wonderful, amazing, supportive and incredible beta, CykeclopsFF7, for everything she has done for me. (She designed the new cover, btw) Thanks so much, K! I know you need your Vincent fix so it wasn't _really _work, but I still greatly appreciate it. You helped me get unstuck many times and listened to endless brainstorming, and gave me quite a few great ideas. Much love, but you don't get off the hook so easily… You know how much I'm trying to do in IW, haha! Sorry ;)

- And to my readers, thank you so much for breaking all my records with your support for this story. It definitely helped my confidence a great deal and motivated me to continue writing and expand my horizons. I hope you enjoyed the story and I sincerely appreciate all of your support, reviews, favorites and love. So yeah… hopefully, seeya next fic! _~ JenesisX _))


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